Questions About Men

[MsClueless]

hi

Ive seen lots of topics here about farang women and thai guys. I have questions from the other side. about farang men. I know not everyone is the same. but am hoping many of the ladies here with maybe more experience of knowing /dating farang men can help me understand things?

I might have many questions that I come back to add if ok with everyone?

for now.... I received this SMS and I cant understand it: (I know its adapted from Shakespeare, he try to use poetry, but he adds his own words to it so I have no idea what he wants to say. and no I dont want to ask him to explain. I will give details soon why I dont want to ask him yet)

"is it nobler for a man to endure the slings and arrows of desire that is reciprocal time wasted or invested, the future or past that unravels a truth."

what does this mean?

I know I can be very clueless about men related things (hence my name), but this really has me baffled. (my english is not bad, so I usually understand the language, but I think the above really does not make sense.) any thoughts ladies?

many thanks

Edited February 19, 2009 by MsClueless

[scottyd]

It is not your fault you don't understand, I don't either haha!

By the way, your english is excellent. Send the man a text saying "We're not living in the 1500s, speak-a-de-english!"

[eek]

"is it nobler for a man to endure the slings and arrows of desire that is reciprocal time wasted or invested, the future or past that unravels a truth."

My take on it:

From this sentence its as if he is making some kind of comment that he puts up with/deals with problems in some way in the relationship because he loves you. (Or, could possibly be that he is talking about waiting out for you (are you holding back in some way?), but doesnt know where he stands. Depends on your relationship really.)Only time will tell if it is a good or bad investment (meaning the relationship. Investment in time, emotions, etc). He is saying only the past or future will be able tell him that. Past, meaning, if he finds something out he is not happy about. Future, meaning, he may find out something he is not happy about.

I wouldnt worry about the sentence too much. It sounds like a man who is feeling poetical and possibly a little drunk, haha! I dont think you should get offended or upset or worried, its what we would call "musing" (Or rambling!) in English. Musing is just thinking about something, rambling (in the context of talking) is just when you let your mouth (or in this case fingers) say all that is going on in your head, but with no real purpose. In this case he typed out his musing/ramblings to you. I guess he is trying to be eliquint(sp?) (which I think is a little silly if he knows the person receiving it wont get what he is trying to say).

Basically I think its just someone thinking/saying "I wonder if our relationship will work out dear".

edit: More information would really help to put the sentence in better context.

_________

If you want to tell him that you are there for him, have a future with him, you could type something back like "The past holds no skeletons. The future: who can tell? I shall walk with you hand in hand to find out." (In English we use the expression "skeletons in the closet" meaning some things in our past we are embarrassed or ashamed about).

Edited February 20, 2009 by eek

[H2oDunc]

Ditch him !!! He obviously drinks far too much

[MsClueless]

eek, I think you may come very close to what he was on about.

I didnt reply. cos I thought it was as you said, musings.

but when I saw him a couple days later he asked me why I didnt reply?

so he was actually expecting an answer!

as to your question where are relationship is. Im really not sure myself. I get the feeling that he 'wants to give me the impression' there might be something. but at the same time he is quite non committal.

so Im not jumping into it and going all out with my emotions.

PS. I think the first couple of lines might be 'borrowed' from Macbeth (but he has totally ruined it!!)

[sbk]

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them?

Well, anyone who would paraphrase Shakespeare in such an obscure and incorrect manner is probably not worth your time.

Ditch em

(just kidding, but really, seems a tad pompous to me, reminds me of this guy I dated in college. Drove me crazy after a couple of months)

[MsClueless]

you are on to something

without even knowing him much you can already tell what hes like

(pompous might be a good word.) I dont want to call him arrogant...not quite but its that something in older men I think? hes 40ish. when men are at that stage where they feel they kinda have it all. seen and done things, a bit of success with career (as opposed to only starting)

one time I said to him, dont you get tired of us arguing? (we do...not that we fight...just argue)

and he said something like:

"our arguments are more about passion (as in our different passions) rather than any cause to be alarmed. we both have personalities that are wanting to find a comfortable place to reside..." and on on on

I mean I like articulate, intellectual men. but even this is getting on my nerves

(sometime it make me feel like hes overdoing it cos he thinks/knows these are the kind of things i like? )

plus I doubt him on so many things he tells me....

yet at same time when hes away he calls me everyday. so maybe its not all fake?

[MsClueless]

_________

"The past holds no skeletons. The future: who can tell? I shall walk with you hand in hand to find out."

are you a poet?

I think you might be perfect for my Shakespeare

very lovely words. but I cant say something like that. sound too romantic and so loving.

as I said before, still dont know where things stand with us.

by the way, I have read many post by expat men in thailand that talk about thai women wanting money from them (or expensive gift etc). I know this guy for many months, actual more frequent dating maybe 5 or 6 weeks. he bought me a dress. normal not expensive brand. and I still questioned it many times before I accepted. even now that I have accepted, I still wonder if its appropriate.

so stop generalising about thai or women of any nationality.

Edited February 20, 2009 by MsClueless

[sbk]

It all depends on what you are willing to live with. If he has other qualities that make the relationship worth while then a bit of pomposity isn't too bad.

My ex was great in the sack and alot of fun otherwise so I was willing to put up with the pomposity for about 6 months or so.

But, I have to admit, I never dated another guy like that. So perhaps I had had my fill.

But, up to you. You have to decide if the cons outweigh the pros and how you really feel about the guy.

[Patsycat]

I'd rather a man purred Barry White to me than quoted bad Shakespeare....

[GrahamF]

"is it nobler for a man to endure the slings and arrows of desire that is reciprocal time wasted or invested, the future or past that unravels a truth."

what does this mean?

I know I can be very clueless about men related things (hence my name), but this really has me baffled. (my english is not bad, so I usually understand the language, but I think the above really does not make sense.) any thoughts ladies?

many thanks

Ok, I will give you my male, farang, not living in Thailand at this time, point of view.....I have no idea what he is trying to say! If pressured to make a guess, I would think that he has some sort of insecurity issue with your relationship and that he was three sheets to the wind when he sent that text! Eek might be right, but you might have to check in with Dear Mr. Neverdie as he really is the bees knees when it comes to this sort of thing!

p.s. Your English seems to be quite good.

[GrahamF]

I'd rather a man purred Barry White to me than quoted bad Shakespeare....

And washed your back, right?

[patklang]

what nationality are you msclueless,and sorry for this but you do write like a guy not a woman.

[scottyd]

I just think he is a few baskets short of a picnic. Honestly who goes around quoting Shakespeare to women anyways, nevermind a woman who is not a native speaker?

I think you need to find you a new Romeo.

[eek]

MsClueless you dont sound particularly clueless (well maybe in the context of your relationship with Mr Poet, but thats understandable!). You sound like an intelligent and educated lady.

In not one to give much in the way of relationship advice, i have my hands full trying to figure out my own! But I do wish you luck.

I enjoy Shakespeare, so thats why I had a go at translating what he may have meant, however its my own personal enjoyment and Ive never gone about quoting him to anyone. I think personally I would find it a bit comical and ridiculous to be quoted to like that. Occasionally my partner and I will send some kind of slightly mushy romantic sms, but its tongue-in-cheek and we will have a laugh about it later. Such as asking if the other person is feeling a bit ill or is after something..(as in, must be something wrong if you are sweet talking me! ). I like men who are intelligent also, but humour and light-hearted banter is what i really crave. Really love it if an intelligent man can make me laugh, especially if the humour is clever. Cant handle serious romantics and serious intellectuals. As for my poety, hahaha, certainly no poet. If i had sent something like that myself, it would be to show the sender i understood the message, and to try give a clever reply back. Would hopefully give them a smirk/smile and something to tease/laugh about later.

[neverdie]

You see guys, I already have some fans, thankyou Graham F.

Dear Ms Clueless, nevermind don't dispair, Dear Mr Neverdie is here & I can help you with this. Please stand by tho, I need to communicate with the lovely eek.

eek, You wrote: -

I like men who are intelligent also, but humour and light-hearted banter is what i really crave. Really love it if an intelligent man can make me laugh, especially if the humour is clever

Does toilet humour count?....I may be your MAN, perhaps I could post my credentials & pic, let me know....okay?

Ms Clueless, The explanation of this is simple,

"is it nobler for a man to endure the slings and arrows of desire that is reciprocal time wasted or invested, the future or past that unravels a truth."

He believes that he is higly generous man with high morals. The term slings and arrows simply refers to 'harsh & critical comments' he has endured as a result of your relationship with him. At this time he is not sure if he has wasted his time with you. The 'unravels a truth' piece actually reveals that he is a Harry Potter fan & he believes that secrets are going to be revealed that will change everything.

Only you can reveal why he would chose to communicate with you in this fashion?

I believe he thinks very highly of himself, its also possible that he is a serial killer

Anyway Ms Clueless, perhaps you could give us a little example of how clueless you may be, using the --- key, could you please demonstrate how long 16 inches is? Thankyou in advance

[seank]

The angle I got from his wee dabble into prose was that :

In the past he loved someone who didn’t love him back (unrequited love). He is not taking any more chances with love so from now on its just lust.

Mind you it’s just a text and it could have being drunk when he sent it (all sms’s should so much cooler when your are drunk!)

Why not just ask him?

[britmaveric]

Well the lad in question is up to his eyes in BS, plain/simple.

[Vato]

"is it nobler for a man to endure the slings and arrows of desire that is reciprocal time wasted or invested, the future or past that unravels a truth."

Is it more honorable for a man to endure the emotional slaying of waiting for his desire? (you) which may result in time wasted by both?

or is it time spent that shall bear fruit which shall be sweet?

only the future shall tell or the past experiences which you have encountered will form your decision.

in ghetto terms : am i wasting my time? or are you gonna hook me up, if i wait for you?..geez i wish i knew if im the same as your other guys.

most girls i know, would say: "Shieet, i aint worth yo time?"...you betta go on'...

[Patsycat]

Still prefer barry white, now there's how to turn a woman on...

[F1fanatic]

you are on to something

without even knowing him much you can already tell what hes like

(pompous might be a good word.) I dont want to call him arrogant...not quite but its that something in older men I think? hes 40ish. when men are at that stage where they feel they kinda have it all. seen and done things, a bit of success with career (as opposed to only starting)

one time I said to him, dont you get tired of us arguing? (we do...not that we fight...just argue)

and he said something like:

"our arguments are more about passion (as in our different passions) rather than any cause to be alarmed. we both have personalities that are wanting to find a comfortable place to reside..." and on on on

I mean I like articulate, intellectual men. but even this is getting on my nerves

(sometime it make me feel like hes overdoing it cos he thinks/knows these are the kind of things i like? )

plus I doubt him on so many things he tells me....

yet at same time when hes away he calls me everyday. so maybe its not all fake?

He's older than you, you think he's pompous, he's getting on your nerves, you argue..... please explain why you are going out with him.

Edited February 21, 2009 by F1fanatic

[mc2]

he could be joking, just messing with you.

if he is serious, yes it sounds like he is full of pomposity , or just plain ego

[spectrum]

Is his first language English?

I don't see much point in attempting to "rubbish" him outright.

He was trying to say something; unsuccessfully perhaps, but I can't understand the jibes about someone who was trying to communicate.

[MsClueless]

thanks everyone for your interpretation. some of them I find quite interesting and could be relevant.

since I asked the questions, I suppose I do need to answer some of the questions that are asked of me too

patklang - Im a woman. I dont know which part of what I said makes me sound like a man? [usually only women try to analyse and over-analyse something our date/partner/BF/GF tells us. men dont pay it much attention]

spectrum - english is his first language

i dont know what u mean by 'rubbish him outright'?

fantastic - in general, I prefer older guys to younger ones. why am I going out with him when I think he can be pompous? I enjoy his company in many instances. we can talk about things. hes intelligent. articulate. [but there are occasions like the SMS for instance, where I feel the articulate is overdone, and thats when it gets on my nerves]

Im dating him, getting to know him, trying to learn more about him and understand him. i may not like everything about him yet. but over time if i decide i want to see him on regular/serious then i can decide if i can live with these things I dont like in him. or maybe the way i view what he does will change when i understand it better?

that is why im still only learning. and also why I ask some questions here

[MsClueless]

Im back with more questions

some things he says make me wonder. he's mature, but at times uses words that I dont understand.

he says "we are hanging out" I tell him that sounds so high school

yesterday he sent me text saying: "you are my doll. tonight i want you to be". (or something like that) I didnt reply, but when we met I told him I didnt know how to respond to that text (to be honest it made me ermmm what word Im looking for.....hard to explain...but it just felt too much, corny?)

maybe I should ask questions in Mr Neverdie thread?