Planning The Move Back To The West

[Norrad]

I'm into my last few weeks in Thailand before our big move back to the west. We were informed today that all my wifes paperwork has been processed and we both have jobs lined up. I made the calls an organized tickets this morning.

My wife has been to my home country before and she loves it, so I'm not really worried about culture shock. I was thinking about what should I take with to make her life a bit easier during the transition. She know that there is no Thai reading material available there and she has already made plans for her friends to send her PDF versions of everything.

Could anyone that has made the move back with their wife or girlfriend give me some tips on what I should take with?

[citizen33]

I'm into my last few weeks in Thailand before our big move back to the west. We were informed today that all my wifes paperwork has been processed and we both have jobs lined up. I made the calls an organized tickets this morning.

My wife has been to my home country before and she loves it, so I'm not really worried about culture shock. I was thinking about what should I take with to make her life a bit easier during the transition. She know that there is no Thai reading material available there and she has already made plans for her friends to send her PDF versions of everything.

Could anyone that has made the move back with their wife or girlfriend give me some tips on what I should take with?

I have lived with my wife mainly in the UK for over 5 years (we visit Thailand about twice a year), and she seems happy there. From your brief note your wife seems well educated and access to Thai culture may be difficult, though in the UK there are festivals and organisations like local traditional dance groups. On a more mundane level, we did bring many cooking and serving items from Thailand which I heven't seen for sale here (things like sticky rice steamer, soup bowl/warmer, shaped fish dishes, clay somdtam bowl etc). Virtually all food items are available, albeit at a price. On trips to Thailand we do sometimes bring back small jars of preserved specialty foods/spices. Thai TV through TGN is easy to get, though my wife rarely watches it now. The UK has a growing number of Thai residents and it is not so hard to make a few female friends, though my wife's current best friends are French and Indonesian. My wife's niece is visiting at the moment and has no problem gossiping to her Thai friends via internet webcam. Language lessons seem a good way for Thais in the UK to meet people. If your wife drives a Thai international driving license could be useful (in the UK this can be used for one year).

[teacup]

I couldn’t wait to get out of there and had my suitcase readied 6 mos before my study aboard …lol

I didn’t take anything with me - just one suitcase only,.... coz just about everything can be had in the west.

From MY experiences with the local thai community, My main advice for your wife is….

“Stay away “from other thais, and she should be spending most of her times immersing in anything English, not reading the thai materials, or speaking thai on daily basis. The sooner she’s up to the par with her English, the sooner she can get her driver license and be independent on her own. I would eventually go nuts-nuts if I have to wait for you to come home from work to take me go here and there.

You said she had been to the west before and loved it.

Well been there shortime and like a tourist is nothing like being there permanently....not even close. Some thais can adjust quickly and really quite well, while some others are just like fish out of water and crying home in just a few months.

I think the key for her happiness there is her english skill or rather will be her improving english skill, and something positively to look forward to..... on weekly, monthly, and yearly basis.

Just me here and best of luck

Edited May 26, 2009 by teacup

[Norrad]

Well her English skills are great, I've been tutoring her for the past 3 years

There are no Thai people in our area, there is a Thai restaurant in the nearest town but it employes Fillipinos (Go figure). She knows that she is going to be well and truly on her own. We both have jobs lined up at the same company although in different departments. Luckily she gets along great with all my friends and relatives. So I'm sure there are many things that she will do with the other girls.

She loves exploring and their are tons of places to explore in my home country, so boredom wont be a problem. I just want her to be comfortable, she has already bought a notebook and webcam for her parents so that they can chat online whenever she gets homesick.

[teacup]

Well seems like she has one foot wet by you already,....lucky her

Now the other thing u should be looking out for her is.....those farang foods!!!, and be careful those webcam can add extra lbs on the top of that too

PS:

What if she never want to move back to thailand again, what would you do?

Edited May 26, 2009 by teacup

[longstebe]

.

From MY experiences with the local thai community, My main advice for your wife is….

"Stay away "from other thais .

My wife lived in the states for 2 years. I would have to agree with teacup. We did actually meet 1 nice lady from Issan.

[kennkate]

Thai Music CDs And any DVDs you might want, All cheaper and available here

Big advantage they don't take up much room and weigh very little.

Good luck

[teacup]

.

From MY experiences with the local thai community, My main advice for your wife is….

"Stay away "from other thais .

My wife lived in the states for 2 years. I would have to agree with teacup. We did actually meet 1 nice lady from Issan.

I tried to avoid many thai students at the uni too.....for same same but different reasons, u know what I mean

Most of them are just not my cup of tea.

Each of their own of course.

Edited May 26, 2009 by teacup

[Texpat]

My wife and I lived in Japan for three years before moving to the US. She fit in quickly in both places. We found this order of precedence to be very useful.

1. Speak English ... well

2. Driver's license

3. Job

Many of our thai/farang-couple friends attempted to circumvent this order and it always ended up in a serious clusterfcuk. Even in Los Angeles, my wife took the bus to the DMV office and passed her driver's test (on the third try) and quickly found a job.

As stated in previous posts, stay away from the gambling, shady Thais abroad. The sooner she settles into a job and makes friends, the sooner she will get over any feeling of longing for home. The devil plays with idle minds -- which explains why I've yet to fit in here after three years.

With a fast, reliable internet connection there's no need to buy Thai music. It's available online. My wife regularly watched Thai television live over the internet. You can also buy phone cards online and make ridiculously cheap calls back to Thailand. Remember, you're moving forward, not backward.

Edited May 26, 2009 by Texpat

[teacup]

You can also buy phone cards online and make ridiculously cheap calls back to Thailand. Remember, you're moving forward, not backward.

try to subscribe Vonage...it's much cheaper for calling thailand

[robblok]

.

From MY experiences with the local thai community, My main advice for your wife is….

"Stay away "from other thais .

My wife lived in the states for 2 years. I would have to agree with teacup. We did actually meet 1 nice lady from Issan.

Have to agree there too. My first wife totally changed because of her contact with other Thais in Holland. All they did all day was think of ways to get more money from their husbands and making eachother jeallous about how much they got.

[tim armstrong]

I couldn’t wait to get out of there and had my suitcase readied 6 mos before my study aboard …lol

I didn’t take anything with me - just one suitcase only,.... coz just about everything can be had in the west.

From MY experiences with the local thai community, My main advice for your wife is….

“Stay away “from other thais, and she should be spending most of her times immersing in anything English, not reading the thai materials, or speaking thai on daily basis. The sooner she’s up to the par with her English, the sooner she can get her driver license and be independent on her own. I would eventually go nuts-nuts if I have to wait for you to come home from work to take me go here and there.

You said she had been to the west before and loved it.

Well been there shortime and like a tourist is nothing like being there permanently....not even close. Some thais can adjust quickly and really quite well, while some others are just like fish out of water and crying home in just a few months.

I think the key here is her english skill and something positively to look forward to..... on weekly, monthly, and yearly basis.

Just me here and best of luck

Thais are communal, not so independent, not so wordly wise, and need Thai stuff, thai people and thai conversation around them - most of the time. Even if your wife is immersing herself in English, and is well educated, she will need a basic 'Thai survival kit' for travelling abroad. Based on my wife's trips to Oz this includes: Thai rice; good chilli; 'nahm pick' and other thai sauces; access to skype, and/or an endless supply of phone credit; regular visits to thai restaurants; some thai conversation on a regular basis; cosmetics 'like you can buy at home'; warm clothes in Thai sizes; definite dates about returning home - whenever that may be. Regards

[teacup]

Thais are communal, not so independent, not so wordly wise, and need Thai stuff, thai people and thai conversation around them - most of the time. Even if your wife is immersing herself in English, and is well educated, she will need a basic 'Thai survival kit' for travelling abroad. Based on my wife's trips to Oz this includes: Thai rice; good chilli; 'nahm pick' and other thai sauces;

Ooooh don't be surprise that thais can be good as everyone else the world over too... when it comes down to the surviving skill "alone", given the chance and restrictions.

Are many thais still packing those in their suitcase when going abroad nowsday?...hmm

Edited May 26, 2009 by teacup

[Texpat]

During our four years outside Thailand, my wife had plenty of friends -- most non Asians.

Called home maybe once or twice a month for 10 minutes a pop.

Found most of what she needed to cook what she wanted.

Hated the Thai restaurants that were generally overpriced crap.

Made do with what was available.

Missus sized clothes fit perfectly.

Evidently, some Thais are needier than others.

Edited May 26, 2009 by Texpat

[TerryTibbs]

My pal in the UK was telling me he found out that his wife and her Thai mates were regularly meeting down the bookies at WilliamHill betting all day on the racing, I had to laugh although he weren't to impressed!

[GuestHouse]

.

From MY experiences with the local thai community, My main advice for your wife is….

"Stay away "from other thais .

My wife lived in the states for 2 years. I would have to agree with teacup. We did actually meet 1 nice lady from Issan.

Yep gotta agree with that one. When they don't bring problems to your door they wind up (as I mentioned in a post on the subject) latching on to the point that you and your wife can't get rid of them.

----------

My wife took up volunteer work which opened the doors to all sorts of oportunities that might have been harder/impossible to come by.

The volunteer sector attracts people who generally are focussed on helping others - It's a great way to network with people who are predisposed to helping your wife settle in to her new life abroad.

[Norrad]

I don't think I will have a problem with her associating with other Thais, as I said I don't know of any other Thais within a 150Km radius of my hometown. One of her friends is busy working in my country but she is a good friend and I wouldn't mind them seeing each other occassionally.

She managed to find almost everything she needed to whip up her favourite Thai dishes and she fell in love with some of our local dishes.

If she really wants to move back to Thailand in the future then I will support her and we will make the move back here. We just feel that we have more of a future in the west at the moment.

[longstebe]

She managed to find almost everything she needed to whip up her favourite Thai dishes and she fell in love with some of our local dishes.

I thought you said you were from the UK.

[Lucifer]

I can understand why a Thai wife wants to move to the west. However, I'm always amazed as to why a farang wants to move BACK.

Farangland is still a shithole. The same reasons you left are still there.

The only difference is that you now have a wife. So, are you people saying that the only(main) reason you came to live in Thailand, was because of women. That's sad.

[Norrad]

I left my home country for a bit of an adventure. Now that I have a family (wife) I have to start planning for the future. My options are severely limited in Thailand and I feel that we have more of a future back home.

I came here when I was 25, did the TEFL thing for a while and then worked in IT for a few years. I'm now 28, I have limited savings and I really want to build up our "nest egg" for the future. Who knows, I might come back and retire here when I'm older.

[sanook2me]

I can understand why a Thai wife wants to move to the west. However, I'm always amazed as to why a farang wants to move BACK.

Farangland is still a shithole. The same reasons you left are still there.

The only difference is that you now have a wife. So, are you people saying that the only(main) reason you came to live in Thailand, was because of women. That's sad.

No need to answer right?

Is this a rhetorical or stupid question? I'm having trouble deciding which one.

Why did you come here then and have you sorted out that dangerous stair well and overcrowding of yours?

[Jungian]

My wife lived in Pennsylvania for many years (I don't know where in the West you are going) the only culture shock was the Amish but they still shock me. She watched Thai TV on the internet kept in touch with Thai people in the USA and talked about our culture and customs kind of like how we do on Thai Visa and hooked up with Thai people in the area with whom she became friends and they traded off books and brought things to each other when they visited Thailand. We were able to get many publications in Thai in Pennsylvania (we are only 1 hour from NYC) however my wife opted to read English for the most part. We also have so many Asian markets she did her shopping at and it was quite fun because we would have to go to 2 or 3 to get everything we needed including an Indian market which we almost gagged in every time we went from the curry. All in all it was a great experience for her and she misses it.

[Norrad]

I thought you said you were from the UK.

Lol

No, I'm from one of the former colonies. We have made great strides in our eating preferences since then.

[thaimate]

moving back to the west,have you thaught about suicide.

seriously my wife and i lived back in Britain for 5 years ,she loved her garden ,as we lived near london there were loads of places to get Thai food ,but she was soon eating falang food ,never warched the satelite thai tv and had few Thai friends(keep your wife away from other thais,if like my wife she is educated she wont want any,anyway as she will know many of them are trouble) give it a few years and you will be dragging her back here,to get away from the nightmare that Britain has become.

all the best.

[farang power]

We moved three years ago to Spain, having three children, two of them from a former marriage of her with a Thai man, the oldest was 13 and the other 9 (the third one was less than 1). It was thougher for the two little girls than for my wife, because she was too bussy to be homesick.

My advice is, try to use her time "building" something ( a family, a new culture...), don't worry about food or thai tv, you cand find all kind of thai food at asian markets or chinese food markets, she can watch thai tv on line(youtube is full of thai soap operas), my wife always refused to watch thai tv. she wanted to learn spanish culture. At the beginning we had to go every month to buy thai food at shops 50 km. away from home, but now she only eats farang food.

She is always in contact with her family and friends via Skype.

give her a lot of love and comprehension, and avoid to say, "you see, this is better than Thailand", remember that Thailand is the land where she born and raised, and is her culture, don't say ,my culture is better than yours.

good luck.

p.d. sorry for my poor english.

[Rionoir]

Find the asian supermarket(s) for her...

[snuggzzz]

1/ Get a PC for her family in Thailand, then she can go online anytime to talk to family via webcam, it costs nothing other than service charge.

2/ Get hold of cheap telephone service, SKYPE etc, again for communication home.

3/ On PC subscribe to Thai TV.

4/ Unlike previous posts, encourage her to make friends with other Thais, even on-line.

My wife now has a job working with other Thai friends, has a driving licence, is about to take life in the UK test. As she transitioned mentally from Thailand to UK her dependence on 1 -3 above has become less and less, not that it was a major feature anyway, more a reassurance that she can keep in touch whatever the distance.

Good Luck....

[Rionoir]

One of my Thai friends in the US said his parents have Thai TV through the cable company, just one or two channels, but his mom can watch her dramas anyway...

[coxhoedave]

Lots of people are saying keep her away from other Thais. I would disagree with this. My wife came to the UK in 1991 and the Thai community has grown significantly since. Within the Thai community there are some bad, but within my wife's circle of friends and colleagues these are far outnumbered by good people. I have to agree however that there are many Thais in the UK with serious gambling problems.

One thing is vital, get her through her driving test it will give her a sense of independence

Good luck to you.

[sassienie]

I left my home country for a bit of an adventure. Now that I have a family (wife) I have to start planning for the future. My options are severely limited in Thailand and I feel that we have more of a future back home.

I came here when I was 25, did the TEFL thing for a while and then worked in IT for a few years. I'm now 28, I have limited savings and I really want to build up our "nest egg" for the future. Who knows, I might come back and retire here when I'm older.

What you should think about is, how you are going to support your Thai wife when you arrive back in your home country?

Do you have a decent home or property already? Transport? Adequate savings? Secure permanent jobs?

If your wife’s English language or work skills are limited than it may be difficult for her to obtain work and you will have to be the main financial supporter.

Several years ago I knew an English guy about your age who spent some time in Thailand and he also considered it as an adventure.

He met a Young Thai girl in Bangkok, apparently fell in love and married her. Soon he and his wife decided to live in the UK. They stayed with his parents for a while, but his mother and wife could not get on, so they applied for council accommodation. They were given a council flat someone on some rough housing estate. After the first year the guy became unemployed and his wife became the supporter with her job as a waitress in a Thai restaurant.

Suddenly this great adventure faded away into an anti climax and the wife so he considered was now a burden. A few months later the couple divorced and his wife returned to Thailand.

So there is something to think about before you commit your wife to living in your home country.

Edited September 16, 2009 by sassienie