Problem With Aa... Advise Please

[sagaris]

I have been following Living in Exiles progress and admire him and others on this forum for being so strong and giving up alcohol.

I need to and want to but perhaps havent really taken the plunge into admitting Im an alcoholic.

I drink in binges once evrey four days or so. In between absolutley no alcohol. Its a bit sad really but it seems to work ok.

I get in trouble, I hurt my body, I upset wife and kids and I spend too much, I also smoke whilst Im drinking.

None of the above is good. Id love to be able to stop the craving I get on day four sometimes I last a week between binges but never much longer.

I went to 1 meeting of AA and enjoyed the cathartic process and listenning to others. Couple of things bothered me.

I was quite young and was told that AA was for alcoholics not just for people whod drank too much the previous eve. They changed their mind when I started talking, so I reckon I did fit in.

I cant and wont embrace God or " a higher power"

After wards I saw another attendee "in public" and he very quickly introduced me to a friend of his as "one of us". I didnt see where this was anonymous.

Sorry for the overly long and disjointed post. Appreciate any advice that may be forthcoming.

Edited June 2, 2009 by sagaris

[Mobi]

Hi,

I'm not an expert but have been to a few meetings and have friends that go regularly, some every day.

Many of those who go to AA - including me- have no belief or acceptance of a "higher Power". I wouldn't worry about it. Just take the things that you can use and discard the rest.

I know from my friends that there are good and bad AA meetings. Some places have a good bunch of people who genuinely want to help, and others have a lot of ass holes. If the meeting you went to doesn't suit you, then try another place until you find one that fits in.

One of the problems with many AA meetings in Thailand is that it 's members are mainly elderly, long term, sober alcoholics, and they seem to use the meetings as an old boys' "club". They sometimes resent the intrusion of younger alcoholics who have different problems and are in a different stage of fighting and dealing with their problems.

You are quite correct, it is anonymous, and that should be respected and your status not be mentioned to anyone without your permission. The guy was wrong and you should remind him of the anonymous rules.

Also the guy who told you that AA was not for you is also an ass hole. How the hel_l could he know, and he should be supporting you, not telling you that you shouldn't be there.

Although I seem to manage pretty much without AA, there is no doubt that many sober alcoholics could never remain sober without the regular, sometimes daily support, of AA.

Edited June 2, 2009 by Mobi

[gerryBScot]

One of the amazing things about AA is that if you say you are in then you are in, that is if you say you are an alcoholic you are an alcoholic. There is no membership vetting, no committee, no sobriety police, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. You do not have to prove you are an alcoholic! I would support some of the previous poster's comments, specifically you should come back and get round the various meetings to see what is on offer. Clearly this is might be a problem if you are in the middle of nowhere. See if you can find a meeting that you like, and if you hear some one tell your story or some one that you can readily identify with then maybe approach that person and have a chat. The God/higher power thing troubles a lot of members, including some of the folks with big years. AA literature suggests you remain open minded about this especially in the early days. I hadn't had a drink for 5 weeks when I was going out the house one lunch time for a drink a few years ago convinced I couldn't be an alcoholic and I phoned the local help line and ended up in a meeting instead and haven't had a drink for just over 5 years. I drank like you, stop start....... but not any more and I know this is because I went to AA and still go. Good luck

[Livinginexile]

I have been following Living in Exiles progress and admire him and others on this forum for being so strong and giving up alcohol.

I need to and want to but perhaps havent really taken the plunge into admitting Im an alcoholic.

I drink in binges once evrey four days or so. In between absolutley no alcohol. Its a bit sad really but it seems to work ok.

I get in trouble, I hurt my body, I upset wife and kids and I spend too much, I also smoke whilst Im drinking.

None of the above is good. Id love to be able to stop the craving I get on day four sometimes I last a week between binges but never much longer.

I went to 1 meeting of AA and enjoyed the cathartic process and listenning to others. Couple of things bothered me.

I was quite young and was told that AA was for alcoholics not just for people whod drank too much the previous eve. They changed their mind when I started talking, so I reckon I did fit in.

I cant and wont embrace God or " a higher power"

After wards I saw another attendee "in public" and he very quickly introduced me to a friend of his as "one of us". I didnt see where this was anonymous.

Sorry for the overly long and disjointed post. Appreciate any advice that may be forthcoming.

Hi sagaris;

I know exactly where you are coming from regarding AA.

You may have read from my posts that I have recently started attending AA meetings myself and my first impressions where similar to yours. As a matter of fact I felt i had completed the 12 steps on my first meeting they seemed overly simple to me.

I myself need AA and I realise I am a shot duck without it. I have put aside all my judgements and reasons why AA is not for me because basically there is nowhere else for me to go.

Give it a go mate and as they say, try to look for the similarities and not the differences.

"It's a simple program made for complicated people".

All the best mate.

I hope to see you in a meeting in Bangers one day.

[robitusson]

The God/higher power thing troubles a lot of members,

Rightly so. They correctly recognise it as religion being pushed on the vulnerable. Having God or a HP is not necessary whatsoever to stop or control harmful drinking. It's in AA because it's essentially a religious movement.

[Mobi]

The God/higher power thing troubles a lot of members,

Rightly so. They correctly recognise it as religion being pushed on the vulnerable. Having God or a HP is not necessary whatsoever to stop or control harmful drinking. It's in AA because it's essentially a religious movement.

Here we go here we go here we go!!!!!!!!!!

Why do have this terrible sense of Deja Vu?

I am, and always have been, an atheist. I have been to a number of meetings in Thailand and nearby countries and you are so wrong you are dangerous.

Two of my best friends attend AA many days a week and they are both atheists.

In all the meetings I have attended, I have not heard one word about God or a higher power. I don't doubt that it occasionally happens, but it is so irrelevant to the general thrust of what AA meetings are all about these days as to be completely meaningless.

I have met countless sober alcoholics who have been sober for 20 years or more, and who would never have managed without the support of AA.

Your postings are positively dangerous for those seeking, probably their only hope of quitting the booze.

[robitusson]

I cant and wont embrace God or " a higher power"

Don't.

Go to the meetings by all means, if you're curious. As was suggested, take what you can use and discard the rest. However, AA does not have any kind of monopoly on treatment for alcoholism or problem drinking. There are plenty of other options out there. They also have no expertise in diagnosing anybody an alcoholic or otherwise. That is a doctor's or trained professionals job.

[Mobi]

Please advise what alternatives to AA farangs have in Thailand - especially for those on limited budgets?

[jumnien]

I've been sober in AA for 14 years and haven't found it necessary to have any belief in a god. As for a higher power I acknowledge that the fellowship of AA provides me with more power to quit drinking and drugging and start living that I ever could muster alone. If you want to drink, that's your business; if you want to stop, that's AA's. It works, it really does! And it's a hel_l of a lot of fun...

[Livinginexile]

AA has saved millions of lives!

Mine being one of them.

[gerryBScot]

So glad to hear you are knocking out the days Living in Exile. Keep going strong! On one occasion I witnessed two long term sober people having a fist fight at meetings over the GOD question ....only problem was there were three new comers at the meeting. We don't always project ourselves particularily well but hey I am still sober! That is good enough for me. Interesting that the OP has gone quiet, possibly scared off. Keep going strong.

[Livinginexile]

So glad to hear you are knocking out the days Living in Exile. Keep going strong! On one occasion I witnessed two long term sober people having a fist fight at meetings over the GOD question ....only problem was there were three new comers at the meeting. We don't always project ourselves particularily well but hey I am still sober! That is good enough for me. Interesting that the OP has gone quiet, possibly scared off. Keep going strong.

Thanks mate,

Yeah we're a weird bunch, I feel right at home

"A God of your own understanding" all it means is a power great than ourselves.

It's quite simple really isn't it?

Anyway I'm on the first step, I'll deal with number 2 when I get to it

It does me good to hear from people like youself.

Thanks and take care

[gerryBScot]

Nice one living in exile. my old sponsor used to say to me when I would ask him about the God stuff : the only thing you need to know about God is that you are not it! I remember as a 20 year old picking up a Big Book and reading some of it. All I can remember is Step 4 and my reaction to it.........bollo*. I drank for another 25 years before going to my first meeting. There are those that say you only need to do Step One to get sober, but if you do Step One you'll probably be ready to do Step Two anyhow. keep going strong and remember our problem is the first drink. That's the one that kills us. if we don't have it we can't get drunk. so simple but so difficult

[robitusson]

For other ideas on staying sober there are links at the top of the thread. After much AA/12 steppers complaining and resisting they managed to get included alongside the AA contact details when the subforum started.

(AA's) main purpose is to turn people to religion. It propagates ignorance. Most importantly it doesn't work. The OP's noticed the problems immediately. He's queried what he's seen. As usual AAers have said that pointing out its flaws could mean death and how dare someone speak ill of the group and blah, blah, blah. Go back and re-read the thread title.

AA has saved millions of lives!

Mine being one of them.

any source for that "millions of lives" fact Livinginexile please? Edited June 4, 2009 by Sheryl
civility

[EnhancePlus]

AA has saved my life, or better yet, given me a life. I went to meetings for on and off for 10 years until I finally was willing to admit I was powerless. I've been sober for almost 12 years now. I am able to be present for the loved ones around me and the ability to care about myself. The God thing was always a challenge for me too, but once I started to work the program I learned that I was loved and watched over by a source greater than myself. AA was my higher power. I just kept showing up and my life started to change. Of course, I worked the steps and do everyday now.

No matter what happens in my life i now I always have a place to call home ... AA.

[B Fuddled]

The only specifically American inventions that have made this a better world are Alcoholics Anonymous and jazz...

Kurt Vonnegut

[Sheryl]

A number of posts have been deleted or edited and the flamefest is officially OVER. :D

it looks like we need some sub-forum specific rules and I will work on developing them. In the interim please note:

1. The name of the sub-forum is "I drink too much" not "I am an alcoholic". This recognizes that, although many of the people who drink too much are alcoholics, some may not be. More importantly it is designed to avoid fruitless arguments over the definition of alcoholism.

2. The purpose of the sub-forum is to provide support for TV members seeking to stop or reduce their consumption of alcohol. As such, only posts that are supportive and helpful in tone and substance are permitted.

3. Since it can never be helpful to denigrate an approach that has worked or is working for another member, attacks on specific approaches or programs is not permitted. Posting of one's own firsthand experiences, positive or negative, is fine, but no blanket attacks or prosletyzing.!!

[Mobi]

A number of posts have been deleted or edited and the flamefest is officially OVER.

it looks like we need some sub-forum specific rules and I will work on developing them. In the interim please note:

1. The name of the sub-forum is "I drink too much" not "I am an alcoholic". This recognizes that, although many of the people who drink too much are alcoholics, some may not be. More importantly it is designed to avoid fruitless arguments over the definition of alcoholism.

2. The purpose of the sub-forum is to provide support for TV members seeking to stop or reduce their consumption of alcohol. As such, only posts that are supportive and helpful in tone and substance are permitted.

3. Since it can never be helpful to denigrate an approach that has worked or is working for another member, attacks on specific approaches or programs is not permitted. Posting of one's own first-hand experiences, positive or negative, is fine, but no blanket attacks or proselyting.!!

The best post on this thread so far

[robitusson]

no proselytizing.!!

Hear, hear!

[Pattayatony]

I have been a Sober Member Of AA for over 28 Years. A few thing I would like to make clear.

I go to meetings on a regular basis.

I have NEVER Had any one in AA try & push God or Religion down my throat.

What i would Suggest is if you have a problem with Alcohol by all means go & have a look at AA take what you want & leave the rest.

If it helps you to stay off the Booze and give you a better life what do you have to loose except your misery??????

I had tried many ways to stop & control my Drinking but AA was the only thing that help me mainly because the people in the meetings had suffered just like me & understood what I was going through, I have often said "They washed my face with Kindness" and shook my hand & said welcome my name is ???? and i have been going back ever since.

Not one person has come up & said I have to find God or Religion.

A.A. Has been a Life saver in my family, my Mum was a Sober Member for the last 19 years of her Life and my Younger Brother has been a Sober Member for over 20 years.

So Please Mr Robitusson dont come on here slinging off about something you really dont know about.

I am surprised The Moderators let you get away with what you say on here at times and also your advertising Signiture.

One more thing there are Many Millions Of AA members World wide so you want proof well I shall start a list of the ones I know or have met Just for you OK. In fact why dont you go to some meetings then you will get some idea of what it really is all about.

I will Start with:

Bill ? 65,000.

John ? 289,000.

Get the Idea Mr R Its Anonymous.

[Livinginexile]

I have been a Sober Member Of AA for over 28 Years. A few thing I would like to make clear.

I go to meetings on a regular basis.

I have NEVER Had any one in AA try & push God or Religion down my throat.

What i would Suggest is if you have a problem with Alcohol by all means go & have a look at AA take what you want & leave the rest.

If it helps you to stay off the Booze and give you a better life what do you have to loose except your misery??????

I had tried many ways to stop & control my Drinking but AA was the only thing that help me mainly because the people in the meetings had suffered just like me & understood what I was going through, I have often said "They washed my face with Kindness" and shook my hand & said welcome my name is ???? and i have been going back ever since.

Not one person has come up & said I have to find God or Religion.

A.A. Has been a Life saver in my family, my Mum was a Sober Member for the last 19 years of her Life and my Younger Brother has been a Sober Member for over 20 years.

So Please Mr Robitusson dont come on here slinging off about something you really dont know about.

I am surprised The Moderators let you get away with what you say on here at times and also your advertising Signiture.

One more thing there are Many Millions Of AA members World wide so you want proof well I shall start a list of the ones I know or have met Just for you OK. In fact why dont you go to some meetings then you will get some idea of what it really is all about.

I will Start with:

Bill ? 65,000.

John ? 289,000.

Get the Idea Mr R Its Anonymous.

Thanks Tony, great post!

[CqK]

I have been following Living in Exiles progress and admire him and others on this forum for being so strong and giving up alcohol.

I need to and want to but perhaps havent really taken the plunge into admitting Im an alcoholic.

I drink in binges once evrey four days or so. In between absolutley no alcohol. Its a bit sad really but it seems to work ok.

I drank in binges too. That proved (to me) that I was not an alcoholic. My friends all drank much more than I did and far more often . . . more proof. I have learned, "I am my own worst enemy". No one does to me what I can do to me or I'd kill anybody who did to me what I do to me.

I get in trouble, I hurt my body, I upset wife and kids and I spend too much, I also smoke whilst Im drinking.

None of the above is good. Id love to be able to stop the craving I get on day four sometimes I last a week between binges but never much longer.

I haven't had a drink in 25 years and in that time, I haven't had to hire an attorney to get me out of a scrape I managed to get into while drinking.

I was thrilled the first time I saw bruises on my body after I'd stopped drinking. I knew where they came from! I'd fallen from a trip on uneven cement in a sidewalk. To see those bruises and actually remember where they came from was better than Christmas. It was also a first in I don't know how many years.

One of my last binges was when I found out my dad had cancer. Perfect rational for "a" drink. By never drinking the entire contents in the glass, I only had one drink. After hours of that "one" drink, I had the stereo blasting the entire neighborhood, was dancing by myself to said music, hadn't thought about my dad and cancer in hours and forgot I was married! I remember seeing this person in the doorway, his mouth moving so I knew he was talking but I couldn't hear him. Then it hit me. I'm married to him! He was insisting I turn off the stereo, it was too loud, neighbors would soon be complaining. Who cares? was always my drinking response. He left the doorway and my immediate thoughts were how soon I could get a divorce. The first husband had the nerve to tell the marriage counselor he not only had a marriage on the rocks, he also had a wife on the rocks and then followed by saying I was an alcoholic.

I'm thankful I didn't have children to pass the legacy on. I'm at least 5th generation alcoholic but the first generation to admit I'm an alcoholic.

As far as smoking goes, I have never seen statistics on automobile accidents caused while under the influence of nicotine nor have I ever seen statistics of crimes committed while under the influence of nicotine. I was told very early on to leave the smoking issue alone for the time being. Smoking, in my case, was not the problem.

I went to 1 meeting of AA and enjoyed the cathartic process and listenning to others. Couple of things bothered me.

I dread AA meetings. Always have probably always will. I went because I was told to go and I really didn't believe it would work. I was told AA could stop me from ever drinking again. To date, 25 years later, they were/are right. When I first stopped drinking, "old-timers" had a suggested rule, 90 meetings in 90 days. I couldn't see going to a meeting every day for three months and I discounted that one right from the get-go so I didn't do 90 meetings in 90 days. I did 86 meetings in 90 days. Every time I wanted a drink, I went to a meeting.

I was quite young and was told that AA was for alcoholics not just for people whod drank too much the previous eve. They changed their mind when I started talking, so I reckon I did fit in.

I cant and wont embrace God or " a higher power"

I had no trouble with God when I quit drinking. In fact, at that time I was a 'born again' so I never drank alone again . . . I drank with Jesus every time.

I was raised in the Methodist church where every Fall drinking adults signed temperance cards swearing not to touch the Demon alcohol. I'd say alcohol is a pretty hefty "higher power". Finding a "higher power" is a suggestion, in my opinion, to get "me" out of my way! Everything I had tried didn't work . . . or didn't work for long. Either the 12 & 12 or the Big Book suggest a doorknob as a higher power if religion puts one off. I think the point is to realize I don't have the power to take away the desire to drink. It was time for me to shut up and listen to those who had accomplished what I hadn't.

After wards I saw another attendee "in public" and he very quickly introduced me to a friend of his as "one of us". I didnt see where this was anonymous.

There is a book that was written for a doctoral thesis titled "Not God". It is about Alcoholics Anonymous beginnings. The anonymous part of AA is specifically for the protection of AA, not the individual. Very few alcoholics know that fact. "Anonymous" came into being when a radio program had advertised the airing of a new cure for alcoholism given by someone who'd quit drinking when they'd been given up for hopeless. The speaker had some dry time in but got drunk to be able to talk on the radio. At that time, the founders decided members must remain anonymous to protect the AA program.

I'm guessing the person who told you, "one of us", was trying to be helpful, to let you know you were in understanding company. I truly don't think he/she was trying to injure you. I can understand someone being offended if the person being introduced is not in AA but I don't get it when one is offended by being introduced in that common ground. My enigma, no one else's.

No one has to advertise their alcohol addiction . . . most people are well aware of who's drinking alcoholically way before there's ever an AA meeting attended. Of the drinking alcoholics I know, none of them are too anonymous while drinking so I'm always amazed when a drunk doesn't want anyone knowing they're going to AA meetings. I have been made very aware, however, that there are many in AA who do not want another soul to ever know that they're no longer drinking! I've learned the hard way to keep my mouth shut.

Sorry for the overly long and disjointed post. Appreciate any advice that may be forthcoming.

I didn't find your post overly long or disjointed at all. My "reply" is overly long! I want to thank you for reminding me of many things I haven't thought about in years and I wish you the very best.

[Mobi]

IMHO someone who binge drinks, and when he is on a binge, drinks to excess and gets into problems, is just as much an alcoholic as those who drink every day.

Most alcoholics can stop drinking for days and weeks at a time, but will eventually start drinking again without proper treatment of one kind or another.

I think binge drinkers slowly get worse, and the time between binges shortens, and eventually they will be drinking every day. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and as you get older, you drink more, and you are less able to cope.

I have been an alcoholic since my early twenties, but it is only in the past 2 years that I have been unable to control my life. I had several serious motor accidents, got into fights and became,e progressively more and more sick, and unable to recover from the previous day's session.

So I have been trying to quit. I quit for 9 months last year, and this year, I was in my 5th month.

2 Nights ago I fell off the wagon, and got very drunk, very quickly. I was so drunk that I couldn't walk, and when I tried to walk around my garden I fell into my fish pond. I went in head first, and I was under the water. I would have drowned if two Thais hadn't been there and pulled me out. This was 2 a.m. and I was very lucky they were they. I have scratches and bruises all over my body, it is very painfull to walk, and I ruined 2 mobile phones, amonsgt other things. All from a few hours booze.

My friend who runs an AA meeting in another country has told me many times that it is always worse if you quit and then go back to drinking. It looks like is is right.

I now know I can't do this alone and will go to AA today.

[jumnien]

Good luck and thanks for your honesty, it will serve you well.

[CqK]

IMHO someone who binge drinks, and when he is on a binge, drinks to excess and gets into problems, is just as much an alcoholic as those who drink every day.

Absolutely! No argument there! My rational was if I didn't drink every day, I wasn't an alcoholic. Had I known then what I know now, I would have drank every day.

[CqK]

IMHO someone who binge drinks, and when he is on a binge, drinks to excess and gets into problems, is just as much an alcoholic as those who drink every day.

Most alcoholics can stop drinking for days and weeks at a time, but will eventually start drinking again without proper treatment of one kind or another.

I think binge drinkers slowly get worse, and the time between binges shortens, and eventually they will be drinking every day. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and as you get older, you drink more, and you are less able to cope.

I have been an alcoholic since my early twenties, but it is only in the past 2 years that I have been unable to control my life. I had several serious motor accidents, got into fights and became,e progressively more and more sick, and unable to recover from the previous day's session.

So I have been trying to quit. I quit for 9 months last year, and this year, I was in my 5th month.

2 Nights ago I fell off the wagon, and got very drunk, very quickly. I was so drunk that I couldn't walk, and when I tried to walk around my garden I fell into my fish pond. I went in head first, and I was under the water. I would have drowned if two Thais hadn't been there and pulled me out. This was 2 a.m. and I was very lucky they were they. I have scratches and bruises all over my body, it is very painfull to walk, and I ruined 2 mobile phones, amonsgt other things. All from a few hours booze.

My friend who runs an AA meeting in another country has told me many times that it is always worse if you quit and then go back to drinking. It looks like is is right.

I now know I can't do this alone and will go to AA today.

When I was in "drunk school" (aka "28-Day Program") some 25 years ago we were told by a medical doctor (who was also an abstinent alcoholic) that if a drunk quits drinking and starts again, their body reacts as though they've never stopped drinking. So if one stops for 9 months, 9 years, 19 years, etc. and picks up a drink, their bodies will react as though they've been drinking during the entire time. That was 25 years ago. Medicine may have a different take on it now. But when it comes to alcholism, I'll trust another drunk before I will science.

Good luck to you.

[sagaris]

Thanks for the replies. I think that Ill give it another try with AA. It was five years ago and Im still doing the same thing.

I guess Im looking for that magic switch or button that will turn off the desire to drink that first beer. Which will come on Sunday.

I know that there is no such thing but recovery is a combination of will power and support and lots of other things.

[Livinginexile]

IMHO someone who binge drinks, and when he is on a binge, drinks to excess and gets into problems, is just as much an alcoholic as those who drink every day.

Most alcoholics can stop drinking for days and weeks at a time, but will eventually start drinking again without proper treatment of one kind or another.

I think binge drinkers slowly get worse, and the time between binges shortens, and eventually they will be drinking every day. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and as you get older, you drink more, and you are less able to cope.

I have been an alcoholic since my early twenties, but it is only in the past 2 years that I have been unable to control my life. I had several serious motor accidents, got into fights and became,e progressively more and more sick, and unable to recover from the previous day's session.

So I have been trying to quit. I quit for 9 months last year, and this year, I was in my 5th month.

2 Nights ago I fell off the wagon, and got very drunk, very quickly. I was so drunk that I couldn't walk, and when I tried to walk around my garden I fell into my fish pond. I went in head first, and I was under the water. I would have drowned if two Thais hadn't been there and pulled me out. This was 2 a.m. and I was very lucky they were they. I have scratches and bruises all over my body, it is very painfull to walk, and I ruined 2 mobile phones, amonsgt other things. All from a few hours booze.

My friend who runs an AA meeting in another country has told me many times that it is always worse if you quit and then go back to drinking. It looks like is is right.

I now know I can't do this alone and will go to AA today.

Hi Mobi;

All the best mate.

I understand how you must be feeling as I have been in your position many times in the past 3 years.

It's just a slip mate, if you can get back to meetings quickly you should be ok.

An important thing is not to beat yourself up too much.

Did you get to a meeting today?

[robitusson]

.

Not one person has come up & said I have to find God or Religion.

Step 3: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him"

So Please Mr Robitusson dont come on here slinging off about something you really dont know about.

Read step 3 above. As someone who gave up problem drinking and has remained abstinent for 9 years now, if I thought for a second AA worked I'd be happy to endorse it. I'm just replying genuinely to an honest inquiry from someone who has a problem with the religious element of AA.

I looked at AA when I wanted to stop drinking. I went to meetings. I was shocked to learn that it had such high relapse rates. There were lots of people who had a problem with the religious/HP/God element of it. Relapse or "slips" were attributed to not working the programme, i.e. doing the steps. An integral part of which is this HP/God part. I went elsewhere when I learned that it had such a high relapse rate and I saw people coming in and out and in and out continually trying to put the drink down using the steps. This is my experience. It's as valid as anyone else who's had drink problems and managed to quit successfully.

Edited June 6, 2009 by Sheryl

[Leearcadia]

IMHO someone who binge drinks, and when he is on a binge, drinks to excess and gets into problems, is just as much an alcoholic as those who drink every day.

Absolutely! No argument there! My rational was if I didn't drink every day, I wasn't an alcoholic. Had I known then what I know now, I would have drank every day.

I may be out of line here or not. I'm not an alcoholic, least not in my opinion. You tell me what you think. On the subject of AA, well if it works go for it. I was hooked on drugs about 15 years ago and went to an AA meeting followed by an NA (narcotics anonymous) meeting and decided that I, #1 wasn't going to be like those religious freaks and #2 that it just wasn't the place for me. I quit cold turkey the next morning without a second thought and have never done any type of drug again. (I was hooked on Crack Cocaine, Meth and Pot)

As far as drinking goes, I know about binge drinking. If I don't drink for 3-4 days, when I do drink I go way overboard! What I have to admit here, (like I said you be the judge, ie; alcoholic or not) is that I drink everyday. I have at least 2-3 beers every evening. I'm drinking a Chang beer right now as a matter of fact. I work alot, when I finish I like to relax. I come home with my wife, eat dinner and usually go buy 3 bottles of Chang at the local store. Then I sit and drink while playing on the computer or watching a movie, or even sometimes with the neighboors, depending on how tired I am. So my confession is this, I drink every day. Am I an alcoholic? My drinking does not affect my work. I never miss a day or have a hangover. My family does not complain, there are no arguments with my wife. It is a regular thing.

So now I ask you. Are you really an alcoholic, or do you just try to quit too hard. Would it not be better to moderate your drinking urges than to try and force yourself into meetings etc;? And above all don't forget the topic of this forum was about drinking too much not alcoholicism. So, if you're drinking too much you need to ask yourself, is the problem alcoholicisim or moderation?

Lee