Jump to content

Daily Joke


Recommended Posts

The definition of 'joke' that you are using is not one I am familiar with.

if you visit toilet at regular bar or agogo at WS then I guess you will find something similar to what I posting here ;-)

yes, toilet humor, but pub is pub, right?! some peoples like it this way ;-) including me ;-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

most extreme tatoo I ever seen!

Is that for real? :) Its on his leg right? I think most women and/or men would run a mile from that guy!!

supposed to be real, apparently males leg (shaved?)

guy is crazy for sure ;-) also its big tatoo, if he will change his mind about having it, will not be easy to get rid off it ;-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...
Guy with the knob on his leg must have got fed up being called knobhead.

AN OLD SASK FARMER'S ADVICE

An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight

And bull-strong.

*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump..

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a

John Deere tractor..

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled..

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a

grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot

easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

*Never fight with a woman. You'll lose.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.

Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<<The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.>>

Good one.

In London an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

‘Yes, Father?’ said the nurse.

‘I would really like to see Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling MP before I die’, whispered the priest.

‘I'll see what I can do, Father’, replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to The Houses of Parliament and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they drove to the hospital, Brown commented to Darling, ‘I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images and might even get me re-elected.’

Darling agreed that it was a good thing.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Brown's hand in his right hand and Darling's hand in his left.

There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Gordon Brown spoke: ‘Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?’

The old priest slowly replied, ‘I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

‘Amen’, said Brown.

‘Amen’, said Darling.

The old priest continued: ‘Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same...."

Edited by Wellington
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick says 'how you doin?'

Paddy says ' okay but do us a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing.'

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters sitting on the bed. He says 'your dad's sent me up here to have sex with both of you'.

They say 'get away with ya.. prove it.'

Mick shouts downstairs 'Paddy, both of em?'

Paddy shouts back 'Of course both of em, what's the point of fuc_kin one?' :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.







×
×
  • Create New...