Bobson83 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 (edited) First of all, normally i don't discuss these matters on internet, but i couldn't get any good advice from my friends in Thailand. And since many people here know a lot about the Thai culture, i hope to hear some advices. A girl i like very much got beaten up by her ex-husband last week, but she just told that to me. She was a night out with a friend until that asshol_e showed up begging her to come back to him, but she said no, so the lunatic lost face in public and went berzerk on her. It's not the first time he assaulted her. I know her for about 6 months now and i'm thinking about going into a real relationship with her, but i don't know much about this "dark side" of her life. Everytime i ask about it she gets silent. One time we were a bit drunk so i asked again and she told me a bit about it, well i understood half of it because she was crying all the time. Short story, if i remember correctly he's a drunk or yaba user and assaulted her frequently during their marriage. As far as i know she didn't go to the police yet, she's afraid of him or she still loves him. I'm currently not in Thailand but i'm considering to buy a lastminute ticket to fly back to BKK tomorrow morning. My heart tells me to beat the hel_l out of that guy, but a part of my mind is telling me to go to the police. That guy is probably a thug with a lot of thug friends who all carry a knife or gun. If this would have happened in my homecountry then i would not hesitate to beat the shit out of that guy, but we are talking about Thailand here.... different mentalities.... i've seen and heared how some Thai people can kill someone else for nothing. I'm not scared or anything, but i think some caution is in place here. One other thing can i really trust her? Isn't this some sort of game or scam? Why did she tell me days later? So far she has never lied to me, asked me for money or anything else. When i was really sick she took care of me, bought me food and medicines, cooked for me, brought me everywhere and paid her own bills. I feel extremely angry because she's such a sweet girl. I don't understand why none of her friends or her brother have taken any revenge. Edited July 1, 2009 by Bobson83 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakeman Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 First of all, normally i don't discuss these matters on internet, but i couldn't get any good advice from my friends in Thailand. And since many people here know a lot about the Thai culture, i hope to hear some advices.A girl i like very much got beaten up by her ex-husband last week, but she just told that to me. She was a night out with a friend until that asshol_e showed up begging her to come back to him, but she said no, so the lunatic lost face in public and went berzerk on her. It's not the first time he assaulted her. I know her for about 6 months now and i'm thinking about going into a real relationship with her, but i don't know much about this "dark side" of her life. Everytime i ask about it she gets silent. One time we were a bit drunk so i asked again and she told me a bit about it, well i understood half of it because she was crying all the time. Short story, if i remember correctly he's a drunk or yaba user and assaulted her frequently during their marriage. As far as i know she didn't go to the police yet, she's afraid of him or she still loves him. I'm currently not in Thailand but i'm considering to buy a lastminute ticket to fly back to BKK tomorrow morning. My heart tells me to beat the hel_l out of that guy, but a part of my mind is telling me to go to the police. That guy is probably a thug with a lot of thug friends who all carry a knife or gun. If this would have happened in my homecountry then i would not hesitate to beat the shit out of that guy, but we are talking about Thailand here.... different mentalities.... i've seen and heared how some Thai people can kill someone else for nothing. I'm not scared or anything, but i think some caution is in place here. One other thing can i really trust her? Isn't this some sort of game or scam? Why did she tell me days later? So far she has never lied to me, asked me for money or anything else. When i was really sick she took care of me, bought me food and medicines, cooked for me, brought me everywhere and paid her own bills. I feel extremely angry because she's such a sweet girl. I don't understand why none of her friends or her brother have taken any revenge. Tough one. Not worth going to jail over the bum. If she doesnt stand up and press charges it may be worse next time. Maybe her family doesnt know. Maybe he is a cop? If you call the police they wont do anything unless she presses charges. What happens next if you marry her and he does this? Then you have more leway but until then you cant protect and dont know the whole story. If she doesnt handle it then just let it go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mickba Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 ..................i'm thinking about going into a real relationship with her.............. The simple answer and the one I imagine you'll hear most on here is, if you're only thinking about it then don't. You should just get out of it. There's nothing useful you can do anyway. You're not her husband and if you go sticking up for her against someone who possibly still is, then it's you who'll end up in the monkey house. Move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobson83 Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 I'm not a troll. I understand where you're coming from, but believe me it's not a trollpost. WHy would you think it's a trollpost? Because the guy who assaulted her is Thai? And nothing bad about Thais can be said on this forum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rolypie Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Stay well clear once a married thai always a married thai!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerry77 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 The best advice is to stay well away, hard as it seems. Your average Thai bloke will kill you just to 'save face' among his friends. He has no regard for the woman nor the consequences of his actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobson83 Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 Tough one. Not worth going to jail over the bum. If she doesnt stand up and press charges it may be worse next time. Maybe her family doesnt know. Maybe he is a cop? If you call the police they wont do anything unless she presses charges. What happens next if you marry her and he does this? Then you have more leway but until then you cant protect and dont know the whole story. If she doesnt handle it then just let it go. That's true it's certainly not worth going to jail over the bum, but i can't stand injustice. I need to know the rest of the story. Her family must know because her face is bruised. What if i push her to press charges? What if he threatened her with death if she presses charges? I'm in my mid 20's en not even thinking about marriage for the next 5 years, but if we are i na relationship and this happens again and the police doing nothing then he'll be in a wheelchair the rest of his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobson83 Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 The simple answer and the one I imagine you'll hear most on here is, if you're only thinking about it then don't.You should just get out of it. There's nothing useful you can do anyway. You're not her husband and if you go sticking up for her against someone who possibly still is, then it's you who'll end up in the monkey house. Move on. That's very easy for you to say, but i have feelings for this girl. Although your advice is probably the wisest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackdanielsesq Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Get a life - with another babe. BR>Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
submaniac Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 If you must do something, then call the cops, and stay out of it. What you are saying in your post is just asking for trouble. One, she is NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. You haven't sealed the deal yet. The fact that you are asking if maybe she is scamming you is a sign that you do not have a sufficiently strong relationship with her to be doing what you are contemplating. What I am willing to do for a member of my immediate family, or girlfriend is alot more than for someone that may potentially be my girlfriend in the future. Two, Thailand is not your country and you should not be flying over to Thailand to start a war. You say he may have a knife? He could also have a gun, since Thais are allowed to have them in the Kingdom while foreigners are not. You think you can beat him up? Can you beat up 20 or 30 of his friends? Thais don't fight one on one. When there's a fight they call their brothers, cousins, friends, and neighbors. If you go to his turf, expect that the entire mooban may show up to help him. Thais also don't fight to look tough. If there's a fight, someone is going to get hurt. Now what will happen when the cops are eventually called? He's gonna say he was minding his own business and some crazy Falang comes over and starts fighting with him. What are you going to say? That he beat up your potential girlfriend? Who's going to be the one spending the night in jail? Think twice before you do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isanb Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 How can we help you ? we don't know you we don't know her yes we can talk about what happen to us but i will have nothing to do with you. You are the only one able to answer, and if you can't (One other thing can i really trust her?) Just 2 things : Why she didn't go to the police ? If you want to play zorro in thailand believe me Sergent Garcia is going to catch you You have already the answer for all your questions in your post but use your brain and not your heart or something else good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalkingMan Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 OP - You do not know all the facts, just what she told you. More than likely if you confronted the guy you would be sent home in a box. Is that what you really want? All of us have issues to deal with and a woman with a violent ex-boyfriend is someone to steer away from. The odds just do not add up in your favor. Like one poster said, if you must do something, call the cops and stay out of it. I would suggest that if you are going to fly to Thailand to confront the guy, please take out some life insurance which will provide a payout for one of your loved ones. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoodrob Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Tough one. Not worth going to jail over the bum. If she doesnt stand up and press charges it may be worse next time. Maybe her family doesnt know. Maybe he is a cop? If you call the police they wont do anything unless she presses charges. What happens next if you marry her and he does this? Then you have more leway but until then you cant protect and dont know the whole story. If she doesnt handle it then just let it go. That's true it's certainly not worth going to jail over the bum, but i can't stand injustice. I need to know the rest of the story. Her family must know because her face is bruised. What if i push her to press charges? What if he threatened her with death if she presses charges? I'm in my mid 20's en not even thinking about marriage for the next 5 years, but if we are i na relationship and this happens again and the police doing nothing then he'll be in a wheelchair the rest of his life. settle down young fella.....you dont know the whole story yet. She wont press charges as she knows Police are pretty <deleted> useless and will make it worse and also they dont like to get involved in domestics as they beat there wives/ exs too. As i said you dont know the whole real story.....maybe she plays games with him , maybe shes using you to make him jealous , how did he know where she was, why does she live near him when she knows what he is like etc. Not all these girls are what they seem.....why wont she tell you about it. If she really wants to get away from him then the only answer is to move away for a while or forever as they too lazy to search too hard. You wont have a real relationship if he lives near and knows she has a farang boyfriend.....you will have to look over your shoulder all the time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiGirlHunter Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Personally i would dump her and get a young girl with no baggage, (they are out there) and preferrably an orphan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackdanielsesq Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Its also the oldest scam on the books - right next to the "I think am a little bit pregnant" The kicker is you are away, and next she will have to hook for food. BR>Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Yeah man, this sucks, I feel for you. I would do the same as shown in : 0.20 Minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anothertorres Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 hi-ee that sucka! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isanb Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Yeah man, this sucks, I feel for you. I would do the same as shown in : 0.20 Minutes. you advice him to get a riduclous hair cut or to wear 3 kg of gold chain ? can you clarify ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 hi-ee that sucka! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopburi99 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 (edited) Absolutely foolhardy and unwise to ever take matters such as this into your own hands. Go ahead and see her and get to know more about her if you must, but NEVER start fisticuffs over a woman, in any county. C'mon man, you know this! Edited July 1, 2009 by Lopburi99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 (edited) Absolutely foolhardy and unwise to ever take matters such as this into your own hands. Go ahead and see her and get to know more about her if you must, but NEVER start fisticuffs over a woman, in any county. C'mon man, you know this! That may be your opinion, if anyone did this over my girlfriend nor wife, I would make sure, he could not walk/nor use his willy again. Even if I should inform the police, situations like this, I take the right in my own hands. Edited July 1, 2009 by Datsun240Z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobson83 Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 (edited) Guys, thanks for all the replies. I'm a bit calmed down now and have given it a thought the last couple of hours. I have some legal questions and thoughts that i want to share with you, i'll post them tomorrow morning. I just have to keep saying to myself, dude, you're not in Amsterdam anymore. Keep your testosteron driven youthful bravery in place. use your intelligence and wealth to deal with such issues. Maybe i have to praise myself lucky i'm in Holland now, things would have ended completely different if i were in Thailand. Edited July 1, 2009 by Bobson83 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oevna Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Personally i would dump her and get a young girl with no baggage, (they are out there) and preferrably an orphan Hahaha, my father always told my sisters to elope with an orphan. Not sure if he was joking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isanb Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Absolutely foolhardy and unwise to ever take matters such as this into your own hands. Go ahead and see her and get to know more about her if you must, but NEVER start fisticuffs over a woman, in any county. C'mon man, you know this! That may be your opinion, if anyone did this over my girlfriend nor wife, I would make sure, he could not walk/nor use his willy again. Even if I should inform the police, situations like this, I take the right in my own hands. And when you will be in jail someone will take care of your girlfriend not only with his own hands. Get real man if the only advice you can give to him is to come in Bkk and fight you are not helping him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GungaDin Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Tough one. Not worth going to jail over the bum. If she doesnt stand up and press charges it may be worse next time. Maybe her family doesnt know. Maybe he is a cop? If you call the police they wont do anything unless she presses charges. What happens next if you marry her and he does this? Then you have more leway but until then you cant protect and dont know the whole story. If she doesnt handle it then just let it go. That's true it's certainly not worth going to jail over the bum, but i can't stand injustice. I need to know the rest of the story. Her family must know because her face is bruised. What if i push her to press charges? What if he threatened her with death if she presses charges? I'm in my mid 20's en not even thinking about marriage for the next 5 years, but if we are i na relationship and this happens again and the police doing nothing then he'll be in a wheelchair the rest of his life. settle down young fella.....you dont know the whole story yet. She wont press charges as she knows Police are pretty <deleted> useless and will make it worse and also they dont like to get involved in domestics as they beat there wives/ exs too. As i said you dont know the whole real story.....maybe she plays games with him , maybe shes using you to make him jealous , how did he know where she was, why does she live near him when she knows what he is like etc. Not all these girls are what they seem.....why wont she tell you about it. If she really wants to get away from him then the only answer is to move away for a while or forever as they too lazy to search too hard. You wont have a real relationship if he lives near and knows she has a farang boyfriend.....you will have to look over your shoulder all the time! Good advice! Move on..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Posts have been deleted. Lets do try to retain some sense of civility thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobson83 Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 EHrr... don't know if i understand what you are trying to say, but i'm really not in Thailand now. English is not my best language, sorry. A mod could look at my IP to verify it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GungaDin Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Absolutely foolhardy and unwise to ever take matters such as this into your own hands. Go ahead and see her and get to know more about her if you must, but NEVER start fisticuffs over a woman, in any county. C'mon man, you know this! That may be your opinion, if anyone did this over my girlfriend nor wife, I would make sure, he could not walk/nor use his willy again. Even if I should inform the police, situations like this, I take the right in my own hands. You sound just like Donz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retiredusn Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 All I can suggest is READ: "Private Dancer" by Stephen Leather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 EHrr... don't know if i understand what you are trying to say, but i'm really not in Thailand now. English is not my best language, sorry. A mod could look at my IP to verify it. Hellow fellow Dutchmen. Hallo landgenoot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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