How Long Have You Lived In Thailand?

[villagefarang]

One could easily play an infinite game of semantics, with warnings, attacks, counters and justifications for what we believe. That would be such a waste. Neither is there a need for everyone to detail how much time they spend doing what, as a justification. There seems to be a growing consensus among the level headed in this thread, to live and let live. Alas, people do love to advertise their sex life it seems.

Live and let live, yeah. So, why does it bother you if people advertise their sex lives? Let them. No harm done.

An infinite game of semantics probably accurately describes much of the use of language. But how many attacks and counters and warnings and justifications are going on in this thread rather than in your own head from your own perceptions?

And I'm sure people'll be along soon to add to the OP. Have you told your story here yet? I can't recall it.

Another figment of my imagination.

[carlosacao]

My 2 satang worth of input would be that none of us is really in a clear position to judge other people or lifestyles (there are clear black and white rights and wrongs of course) since it would be not possible for us to know the inner workings, perspectives, etc of those situations and people; everything and everybody includes the black, the white and everything in between; one person can't really put themselves in the shoes of another one.

Everybody including bar women, high morals women, western women, Thai women, old fat farang men, young good looking farang men and you name it have their own agenda, their own life lessons that are trying to learn which we don't know, have their own unique perspective of life and experiences and growth that they need to do............ so I would say that at the same time that we should encourage the basic elements of life that work towards improving society and people's lives................................ think twice about judging, the issues and people are always more complex than what it seems. Like one guy in the middle east said a couple of millennia ago: "those free of sin throw the first stone". Don't lynch me now, just trying to help.

One of the reasons i so like living in thailand is that all of this is so much more possible than back in england. Compared to living there, here seems like a place with almost zero judgments going on. I see my life in chiang mai as being part of an international community where people come from so many backgrounds that differences are almost taken as normal and therefore cause no or very little division between people.

It really is easy to just get on with people here without finding out what their job is and then making a full-scale character judgment.

I think Thai society is generally speaking more open than western society in many ways, the lady boys would be just one case, can't think of any other country that can match Thai's tolerance to them, but I would also say that there is plenty of judgement in Thai society, but is under the surface, which in itself it's already an improvement I would say.

I also agree that Chiang Mai has quite an international community with plenty of diversity where everybody seems to fit in and it feels good to be here.

[Boksida]

Is anyone ever going to get back to giving their story about why they have stayed here? I seem to remember the OP asking something about that.

Well I'll bite then. I came to Thailand in 1970 because I had a job to come to. Although working, I lived a lifestyle that could charitably be described as dissolute until about 1977 when my body could take no more. For all the right reasons, but also for my health, I was married in 1978. Since being here I can't really remember how many provinces I have worked in, but it is in the scores. I think the only province I haven't at least driven through in over a million kilometres is Narathiwat. I have lived for extended periods in Bangkok, Khon Kaen, Udon, Chiangmai and Lampang. Our children did their primary education in Chiangmai and then went to boarding school overseas where they presently remain and we now have a grandchild.

I have only provided the previous information to explain why I feel comfortable living here. I have also not really had the opportunity to leave as I would need to sell my business interests first. Every time this has looked to be a possibility, the government has shot itself in the foot and the economy has collapsed. I am not particularly bothered about that though. These days I do overseas jobs quite a lot so I do have some exposure to be able to make comparisons with Thailand.

So I'm still here, still married, still working, still driving and still happy.

And for the other posters with the sticks up their <deleted>, I still enjoy going out to bars and pubs. Admittedly though, this is usually with my wife who I have thoroughly corrupted and turned in to my best mate and drinking buddy.

[villagefarang]

Is anyone ever going to get back to giving their story about why they have stayed here? I seem to remember the OP asking something about that.

Well I'll bite then. I came to Thailand in 1970 because I had a job to come to. Although working, I lived a lifestyle that could charitably be described as dissolute until about 1977 when my body could take no more. For all the right reasons, but also for my health, I was married in 1978. Since being here I can't really remember how many provinces I have worked in, but it is in the scores. I think the only province I haven't at least driven through in over a million kilometres is Narathiwat. I have lived for extended periods in Bangkok, Khon Kaen, Udon, Chiangmai and Lampang. Our children did their primary education in Chiangmai and then went to boarding school overseas where they presently remain and we now have a grandchild.

I have only provided the previous information to explain why I feel comfortable living here. I have also not really had the opportunity to leave as I would need to sell my business interests first. Every time this has looked to be a possibility, the government has shot itself in the foot and the economy has collapsed. I am not particularly bothered about that though. These days I do overseas jobs quite a lot so I do have some exposure to be able to make comparisons with Thailand.

So I'm still here, still married, still working, still driving and still happy.

And for the other posters with the sticks up their <deleted>, I still enjoy going out to bars and pubs. Admittedly though, this is usually with my wife who I have thoroughly corrupted and turned in to my best mate and drinking buddy.

My wife and I are also best mates. I feel sorry for those who have not been afforded such companionship in their relationships. Instead of corrupting her, however, she managed to save me from my life of debauchery.

[IanForbes]

Is anyone ever going to get back to giving their story about why they have stayed here? I seem to remember the OP asking something about that.

Good point, but all threads go off track and wander a bit. If it wasn't for my children and grand children, and the fishing I love in Canada I'd live full time in Thailand. But I have the best of both worlds and have no intention of changing until I'm too old to continue.

As I've said many times, I love Chiang Mai. I like being able to ride my motorcycle every day in the heat. Even the rain is seasonal and warm, and it's all over in a matter of hours. With my GPS I can get myself lost and have the fun of finding my way back home. Riding in Thai traffic is like playing a real live video game... only dangerous. And, a little danger always adds spice to life.

There is nothing even remotely similar in North America to the night life in Thailand. If there was the owner would become a billionare. I can flirt with beautiful women and have them flirt back... even if there is no intention of taking it any further. I can play pool all evening for the price of a few drinks. We'll have a few laughs and not care who wins or loses... but always trying our best. Because I only go to the same few bars the staff all know me and I'm one of the crowd. I get invited to any parties they might have.

I have friends who fish and friends who play golf. I have a good friend who likes long walks and it keeps me young and fit. I never lack for someone to share a meal with. There always seems to be a party somewhere every week or so. I can afford to take a few southern beach trips each winter and I have a time share in Jomptien. There is a family I take care of in Kanchanaburi and another in Ubon Ratchathani. It keeps me busy and when I just want to be alone there is the internet, my writing and my painting.

I can't imagine anywhere else that offers so much for so little.

[villagefarang]

The last post reminded me of something I enjoyed of my previous life in Bangkok. Being regulars in some restaurants and clubs we were treated like celebrities. Greeted by name and taken to our favorite table. Often given preference over those who spent more. The hotel general manager on occasion sitting at our table for a visit. I was never treated so well in my own country.

Also the ability to compartmentalize, with my daytime friends not knowing what I did at night, or at least not asking. Very civilized and not, in-your-face. A spontaneous and varied existence not easily replicated, for any amount of money, elsewhere.

[femi fan]

I think Thai society is generally speaking more open than western society in many ways, the lady boys would be just one case, can't think of any other country that can match Thai's tolerance to them, but I would also say that there is plenty of judgement in Thai society, but is under the surface, which in itself it's already an improvement I would say.

I also agree that Chiang Mai has quite an international community with plenty of diversity where everybody seems to fit in and it feels good to be here.

Agreed about the judgment here, but as a farang i'm not expected to conform in the same ways as are thais. So long as i do certain things, like smile, don't get easily angry and so on, and that's in fact all good for my health anyway, then i am free to speak and behave pretty much as i wish without social censure that i would get back in my own society. I think one the reasons many people like living here is its openness you refer to, allied with this freedom from the influences of one's own society.

It suits me fine.

[femi fan]

There is nothing even remotely similar in North America to the night life in Thailand. If there was the owner would become a billionare. I can flirt with beautiful women and have them flirt back... even if there is no intention of taking it any further. I can play pool all evening for the price of a few drinks. We'll have a few laughs and not care who wins or loses... but always trying our best. Because I only go to the same few bars the staff all know me and I'm one of the crowd. I get invited to any parties they might have.

This bit made me laugh! I've often thought of various businesses that would work a treat back in england, but for me there's the everpresent problem that i'm living most happily in chiang mai, and that's that. But yes, nightlife you get here would make people very rich back home, but unfortunately health and safety, workplace rules, other rules, taxes, other government interference would take all the joy out of the fun, and basically make it impossible anyway.

[carlosacao]

I think Thai society is generally speaking more open than western society in many ways, the lady boys would be just one case, can't think of any other country that can match Thai's tolerance to them, but I would also say that there is plenty of judgement in Thai society, but is under the surface, which in itself it's already an improvement I would say.

I also agree that Chiang Mai has quite an international community with plenty of diversity where everybody seems to fit in and it feels good to be here.

Agreed about the judgment here, but as a farang i'm not expected to conform in the same ways as are thais. So long as i do certain things, like smile, don't get easily angry and so on, and that's in fact all good for my health anyway, then i am free to speak and behave pretty much as i wish without social censure that i would get back in my own society. I think one the reasons many people like living here is its openness you refer to, allied with this freedom from the influences of one's own society.

It suits me fine.

I know what you mean; one of the things that I enjoy here is that when with Thai people, even if complete strangers, if you smile, speak a little bit of Thai, make some jokes or try to be funny, that's it, all barriers are down, they open up to you, they are very friendly, they will help you, etc, etc. If I were to do that in USA or UK, they would look down on me with horror, like, what's wrong with this guy, he smiles, he jokes, he's friendly with no reason, he makes eye contact! Oh my goodness, it must be something wrong with him, he's a psycho or something!

[idrankwhat]

I have lived in Thailand for 9 years now and the only reason I have stayed is because I have a decent job and can't complain about my lifestyle, I go back to New York every opportunity I have and stay as long as possible. I have never done the bar thing nor have I ever hung around it the sexpat area I would be too embarrassed to show my face and I can't imagine putting myself in a situation to get an incurable disease for a one night stand.

It's curios that you would stay in NY for 'as long as possible' every time that you return because it's so different from Thailand. I guess that you do not enjoy living in Thailand? If by NY you are referring to NY city, I can't imagine being drawn to stay there as long as possible and still endure what Thailand has to offer. NY city and most of Thailand seem diametrically opposite one another. Perhaps it's the cultural events present in NY that are lacking here in the LOS? Certainly it cannot be the warmth of the people. I bet you don't smile often when coming upon a farang that you don't know in public places - certainly when in NY city.

I work in Thailand out of necessity not by choice, long story short I lost my license to practice medicine in the USA for not reporting a GSW (gun shot wound) because number one it's not my business and number two the patient was an illegal alien, thus this is my exile not a bad one I admit but I am home sick. My wife just happens to be Thai-American and got me a good job here and Thailand doesn't care about what I didn't report in the USA. While Thailand is a beautiful country and has a lot to offer I prefer to live in my own country, speak my own language, eat my own food and make dollars not Bhat.

It is a very incorrect stereo type that New Yorkers are unfriendly "bridge and tunnelers" are unfriendly mostly because of the nasty commute into the city every day and they are pressed for time figuring they spend 3 to 4 hours a day commuting and 8 to 10 hours working doesn't leave much time for being friendly. If you ask a New Yorker for directions you better get out a pen and paper because we will tell you every land mark along the way. Granted the Bronx and Harlem may be a bit hostile but you will find that in any city. I am generally an out going person nonviolent and never hostile and I tend to smile at people even in New York when there is reason. I am appealing my case in the USA under the premise that I was hired to save lives not be a police/immigration informant.

As far as the comment about "no sex" I'm married for 16 years so take that for what it is worth. I never hung out in the sleazy parts of my own country I'm certainly not going to do it here, I don't want to come off as "more holy than thou" but that's just not my cup of tea and if it was not in the AIDS capitol of the world for sure.

[venturalaw]

I have lived in Thailand for 9 years now and the only reason I have stayed is because I have a decent job and can't complain about my lifestyle, I go back to New York every opportunity I have and stay as long as possible. I have never done the bar thing nor have I ever hung around it the sexpat area I would be too embarrassed to show my face and I can't imagine putting myself in a situation to get an incurable disease for a one night stand.

It's curios that you would stay in NY for 'as long as possible' every time that you return because it's so different from Thailand. I guess that you do not enjoy living in Thailand? If by NY you are referring to NY city, I can't imagine being drawn to stay there as long as possible and still endure what Thailand has to offer. NY city and most of Thailand seem diametrically opposite one another. Perhaps it's the cultural events present in NY that are lacking here in the LOS? Certainly it cannot be the warmth of the people. I bet you don't smile often when coming upon a farang that you don't know in public places - certainly when in NY city.

I work in Thailand out of necessity not by choice, long story short I lost my license to practice medicine in the USA for not reporting a GSW (gun shot wound) because number one it's not my business and number two the patient was an illegal alien, thus this is my exile not a bad one I admit but I am home sick. My wife just happens to be Thai-American and got me a good job here and Thailand doesn't care about what I didn't report in the USA. While Thailand is a beautiful country and has a lot to offer I prefer to live in my own country, speak my own language, eat my own food and make dollars not Bhat.

It is a very incorrect stereo type that New Yorkers are unfriendly "bridge and tunnelers" are unfriendly mostly because of the nasty commute into the city every day and they are pressed for time figuring they spend 3 to 4 hours a day commuting and 8 to 10 hours working doesn't leave much time for being friendly. If you ask a New Yorker for directions you better get out a pen and paper because we will tell you every land mark along the way. Granted the Bronx and Harlem may be a bit hostile but you will find that in any city. I am generally an out going person nonviolent and never hostile and I tend to smile at people even in New York when there is reason. I am appealing my case in the USA under the premise that I was hired to save lives not be a police/immigration informant.

As far as the comment about "no sex" I'm married for 16 years so take that for what it is worth. I never hung out in the sleazy parts of my own country I'm certainly not going to do it here, I don't want to come off as "more holy than thou" but that's just not my cup of tea and if it was not in the AIDS capitol of the world for sure.

I appreciate you're candid response and the unfortunate, and to me, clear over-reaction by the licensing authority to your determination to treat rather than report.

I was not aware that NY city residents, other than "bridge and tunnelers", were mostly friendly. I admit that I was primarily relying upon a stereotype apparently unfairly ascribed.

I wish you good luck in your appeal.

[IanForbes]

As a matter of fact I kind of like New York state... This is only a 3 hour drive from the heart of the city. People forget that New York isn't just a bunch of sky scrapers..

[aceqbaceq]

hello guys. i'm learning english. i'm from russia. i came here from google accidentally searching phrases like "started readind" and so on, anyway. i want to say that i'm glad that you can afford change country where you want to live or something like that. here it sounds like miracle. when i was reading " i lived 9 years in ... than i went to ... now i live ... and i'm going to go in ... " i thought - lucky man. now we have 2009 year. century of microprocessors, internet, cell phones, space ships, nuclear weapon. but how many years must to pass when in all countries people will have posibility to travel all over the world. change their place of living. that's totally sucks. i'm glad that at least someone can live but not survive all their life.

[metisdead]

My first time to Thailand was February 1985. I had just completed a 7 week hitch in Heilongjang Province PRC (way up north and fuc_kin' freezin'). I was smitten first time on Soi Cowboy. When I went back to work in northern PRC, it was still fuc_kin' cold, but my memories were in Thailand. Way back then the country was pretty innocent, as was I. Thailand made an impression on me, I'm still here, likely to die here as well.

[Gonsalviz]

You still show great pride in your extracurricular activities. I on the other hand, am embarrassed to admit that it took me 20+ years of play before I moved on to other things.

I don't mean to be rude, but 20+ years? Sounds like a product of growing older, rather than any great awakening. I have to wonder, how many of these people on Thai Visa who have "moved on to other things" fit in the same category?

It's been 30+ years for me and have known I will end up in Thailand for nearly that amount of time. So it does not have to be a product of growing older.

It was much more pleasant in several places because the level of tourism was not nearly as high.

[IanForbes]

I'm surprised this topic is still going after Gonsalviz dug it up from the ashes. I'm very much looking forward to returning to Chiang Mai this coming winter, despite having had a wonderful summer here in BC. I've been hiking, fishing and exploring for five months, but still miss my friends and the nightlife in Chiang Mai.. We've had a long, dry, hot summer in BC, but are in desperate need of heavy rain to bring the salmon home to spawn.

Oh, and our beaches are just as lovely as the ones on the Thai penninsula, but the water's not as warm.