Should We Live In Thailand

[Blackandwhite]

We went out his afternoon for a meal, here in the Uk, another child asked my daughter why she had slanted eyes and brown skin, then ran away from her makes you wonder, it only comes from the parents, good old England great place for kids.

[sbk]

And the reverse happens in Thailand as well. people are people where ever you go and you aren't going to avoid racist idiots in Thailand either.

[Boo]

you & your children will come across a lot more open racism in Thailand in the form of comments & stares than anything you might experience in UK imo. But come anyway, as it seems you are looking only to justify the move which you do not need to do. It is your family, your life, your choice. Just go for it. It will open your eyes & maybe in a few years you will want to return to the UK with a renewed appreciation for the place or maybe Thailand will turn out to be the utopia you think it will be.

Please don't think I am poopooing the idea out of hand, as I am not, I think Thailand has a lot of positive things to offer but do think that you are unprepared to what the real life in Thailand is like.

My husband, son & I are coming back to Thailand this year for 7 months with the possibility of a full time move so our son can get some junior schooling. The difference is, I have lived their previously for 7 years & know all about the bad as well as the good. My husband has also lived in UK for 6 years so is accustomed to the life here & knows what he will no longer tolerate in Thailand.

Neither of us believe one place is better than the other but each offers it's own benefits & we are moving between the two to suit our & our sons needs when we need to. So just bear in mind that like anywhere, the realities of living in Thailand is completely different to a holiday & that all the things that you think are bad in UK also happen in Thailand.

Good luck.

[chriswatson]

Like the OP, my Thai wife and I are thinking of moving over to Thailand later this year. My family currently live in London. We're not of a dissimilar age to the OP (I'm 41) but we do differ in that I've worked for the past 20 years in a way/occupation specifically so I could have the chance of emigrating to a country at an "early age" with a lower cost of living without having to work whilst living in it. It has been a "dream" of mine for as long as I can remember, rather than a reflection of a moment in time (which seems to be the OP's situation), and now I think the "dream" can become a reality. Again, like the OP, I'm expecting to subsidize our living via property letting income and other savings and investments, and based on my calculations (and a lot of help from forum members) I reckon this will all be quite feasible - including an annual pilgrimage back to the old country to keep in touch with relatives plus a certain budget for Asian travelling.

Of course, other than balancing the books, the two big issues facing such a dramatic move for those in a similar situation to the OP and myself are the impacts on career prospects for the adults and education for the young one (s). My industry would probably "welcome me back" if I dipped out for six months or so, but any longer - I think I can forget it. This is what I would caution the OP to think long and hard about abandoning his job if this "move" has not been his motive for working in the first place. I have no idea of the industry the OP is in, but mine is especially fast moving and changeable and my skills/business network would look very dated to future employers very quickly were I to "drop out". Therefore, my wife and I are treating the whole emigration process very much like a day-by-day experiment, and once we make the move, would not find it shameful to return back to the UK six months later, safe in the knowledge that we tried, but it wasn't for us. This is why I would not dream of purchasing any property until we were sure we were settled (and had the right location for school) nor make any other financial commitments such as even buying a car etc. until we were 100% sure.

With regards to education, and going back to why I think the time is right for my family, unlike the OP, our child is below both Thai and UK compulsory school age. I am satisfied enough time has been spent in the UK for the basics of learning English, but I would also like the basics of Thai to be learnt too. I think this will be a distinct advantage to all in the future. And, because school has not been started, I am not risking the potential damage dragging the child in and out of different UK or Thai schools. For the OP, I have no evidence that any damage can be caused by this, but to me it just feels right not to get started with UK schooling, then introduce Thai, and then revert back to UK if things turn out sour. I would also add that I am having considerable difficulty in deciding whether to send my child to an "international" or "private" school in Thailand. Forgetting costs, it is my understanding that, by definition, an "international" school does not give the child benefits of learning the Thai language or access to Thai business connections (for e.g.), something I think is a disadvantage. We also have a neighbour in London (who is also Thai and of a similar age) and she is currently completing a PhD at a London University. She was educated "privately" in Thailand and sends her own daughter to a private, rather than international school too. I digress!

I realize the OP can do nothing about their daughter's age, but so long as the OP seriously considers the impact on career and education and can afford to support his family (I do not see any cost of living expenses from the OP, so not sure how the OP could be clear on this issue...) then I too would suggest "go for it". However, reading the OP's posts, it is obvious that the OP is looking for approval/justification for a decision he has already made. I feel this is "cart before horse" and would suggest OP thinks harder before making such a bold move, or at least has a contingency. His rose-tinted view of Thailand as presented is, I'm afraid, a bit laughable and shows a real misunderstanding of what he will be letting himself into should he move full time to Thailand, and will I'm afraid, result in great disappointment.

However, you never know until you try...

[Blackandwhite]

Like the OP, my Thai wife and I are thinking of moving over to Thailand later this year. My family currently live in London. We're not of a dissimilar age to the OP (I'm 41) but we do differ in that I've worked for the past 20 years in a way/occupation specifically so I could have the chance of emigrating to a country at an "early age" with a lower cost of living without having to work whilst living in it. It has been a "dream" of mine for as long as I can remember, rather than a reflection of a moment in time (which seems to be the OP's situation), and now I think the "dream" can become a reality. Again, like the OP, I'm expecting to subsidize our living via property letting income and other savings and investments, and based on my calculations (and a lot of help from forum members) I reckon this will all be quite feasible - including an annual pilgrimage back to the old country to keep in touch with relatives plus a certain budget for Asian travelling.

Of course, other than balancing the books, the two big issues facing such a dramatic move for those in a similar situation to the OP and myself are the impacts on career prospects for the adults and education for the young one (s). My industry would probably "welcome me back" if I dipped out for six months or so, but any longer - I think I can forget it. This is what I would caution the OP to think long and hard about abandoning his job if this "move" has not been his motive for working in the first place. I have no idea of the industry the OP is in, but mine is especially fast moving and changeable and my skills/business network would look very dated to future employers very quickly were I to "drop out". Therefore, my wife and I are treating the whole emigration process very much like a day-by-day experiment, and once we make the move, would not find it shameful to return back to the UK six months later, safe in the knowledge that we tried, but it wasn't for us. This is why I would not dream of purchasing any property until we were sure we were settled (and had the right location for school) nor make any other financial commitments such as even buying a car etc. until we were 100% sure.

With regards to education, and going back to why I think the time is right for my family, unlike the OP, our child is below both Thai and UK compulsory school age. I am satisfied enough time has been spent in the UK for the basics of learning English, but I would also like the basics of Thai to be learnt too. I think this will be a distinct advantage to all in the future. And, because school has not been started, I am not risking the potential damage dragging the child in and out of different UK or Thai schools. For the OP, I have no evidence that any damage can be caused by this, but to me it just feels right not to get started with UK schooling, then introduce Thai, and then revert back to UK if things turn out sour. I would also add that I am having considerable difficulty in deciding whether to send my child to an "international" or "private" school in Thailand. Forgetting costs, it is my understanding that, by definition, an "international" school does not give the child benefits of learning the Thai language or access to Thai business connections (for e.g.), something I think is a disadvantage. We also have a neighbour in London (who is also Thai and of a similar age) and she is currently completing a PhD at a London University. She was educated "privately" in Thailand and sends her own daughter to a private, rather than international school too. I digress!

I realize the OP can do nothing about their daughter's age, but so long as the OP seriously considers the impact on career and education and can afford to support his family (I do not see any cost of living expenses from the OP, so not sure how the OP could be clear on this issue...) then I too would suggest "go for it". However, reading the OP's posts, it is obvious that the OP is looking for approval/justification for a decision he has already made. I feel this is "cart before horse" and would suggest OP thinks harder before making such a bold move, or at least has a contingency. His rose-tinted view of Thailand as presented is, I'm afraid, a bit laughable and shows a real misunderstanding of what he will be letting himself into should he move full time to Thailand, and will I'm afraid, result in great disappointment.

However, you never know until you try...

Thank you for your long and frank thoughts, Yes this is a real tough one, you are right I have made the decision about moving to Thailand, but paramount in my thoughts are my daughter. We have choices and they would be, meanwhile while we start to make the plans for our lives and the decisions on behalf of my daughter we do regularly visit Thailand to keep or toe in so to speak and my daughter speaks near fluent Thai and my wife is slowly teaching her the Thai alphabet.

Leave Uk now and pose a fairly large risk on my finances collapsing here in Uk, disrupting my daughters junior school years, but we would know sooner that later how it would work out.

Wait till my daughter goes to high school, then assess the situation including schools being the main point that would need to be consider and the decision then again would be based on my daughters abilities at school and the education available to her,

Final option wait until my daughter finishes school as in finishes high school, with a view to moving to Thailand then, at this point she could have a year out and maybe study in Thailand for a year or so while she chooses what she want to do with her life from there in.

The plan and finance

Within the next four years we will be free of a mortgage on our family home so we could rent that would give us enough money to live a carfull but afluent life in Thailand, there would be a house to return to in the Uk and I have another property in the Uk that is rented ready to go into my daughter name when she is 21. My daughter also has a saving fund that I pay into that will mature in 13 years with a fund that will give her a very good start in life. I have a business that would fund me travelling home every 8 weeks to work for around three weeks at a time, this would mean I could also keep an income and a business going that if all did fail and Thailand become a place I would rather go on holiday to then we could return and get stuck in again and simply move back into my home here in the UK. If things were all good then I would simply buy a house in Thailand but that would of course have to be after a year or so of being comfortable and happy in the environment we were living in.

Just such a hard thing this is, the last thing I want to do is hurt or jeopardise my daughter or her precious life in any way.

My daughter is what is of most importance in all this, I do agree with you I do see Thailand through rose tinted lenses but there is many good reason to leave the Uk and many good reason to leave the Uk to live in Thailand, equally there is many reasons to do neither of these things, sit back and follow the crowd and appreciate what we have here in England

I guess this post is a way of me hearing other people justifying for me what I want to do,

Please be assured I am no fool, I do not take things lying down and even though I have always had life stacked against me everything I have done in life has been a huge success, I do not intend to make any hasty decisions about this, just do sometimes think, it will happen one day so why let it wait, so much to think about, can make you start to go a little Ding Dong !!!

[kikoman]

Just realised this is in the ladies Forum, so appologies for posting.

My 3 Girls have been in Thailand 2 years now and are fluent in Thai , The English will need a bit of work but its still well above the Thai average.

I'm not convinced all Schools in the UK are better than all Thai Schools. We have a very good school here, not expensive but seems to have high standards. Homework every night, Its a long school day too but the Kids are genuinely happy here and look forward to school. I know they would be bored back in the UK. Lets face it wether Thailand or UK, your girls going to have to face a longer education and more competition for fewer Jobs.

She will still have the safety net of the UK if it all goes pear shape. No one knows what the future will bring, lots of gloom and doom or maybe challenges ahead for sure. Maybe best to live life today.

Same goes for yourself, If your not happy in the UK and I can fully understand why, Make the Move, Lifes too short .

make sure you do have the finances though because your still quite young.

Ask yourself what your going to do with your time also. Time seems to go quicker in Thailand for me, but I have suffered from the lack of Mental stimulation that I was used to back in the UK. I have an Issue with ladies at the moment, Something I never dreamed would be a problem, but something that can creep up on you here. I can't see what all the fuss is about afterall this is thailand. So be warned However strong you think you are ; The Culture can seep into you

I also am male, but I wish to address an issue that has not surfaced, Here they will be a member of the dominate culture in the U.K. ,they will be minorities. I while in the U.S. have suffered as a result of the dominates culture as it views minorities rights, I was sent to Mexican schools and taught only skills for marginal employment. Minorities where not considered to have the capacity to attain higher education and were trained to do Manuel labor, sad to say after all these years such discrimination still exist ,many school district have a very poor minority high school graduation rate, many as high as 70 %.

I lived in Thailand for nine years and am the only Falang in my village, I do not grow disillusioned with the Thai people, its customs and its way of life. I can find more good in Thailand than in the U.S., I do miss my Children but now they have their own lives and families.

It is just another aspect to take into consideration in making your decision to move to the U.K.

or stay in Thailand.

Which ever decision you make, I wish you and your family a bright future.

[kikoman]

I am very sorry "Jubby" I posted my reply on to your reply, I am just learning how to use this system.

Again my apologies.

[John_Rambo]

If i was reading about a decision taken to return to Thailand from somebody who knew all the pros and cons of living here because they had done it before, and they had a clear idea of how life here could be beneficial for them and their family, in their particular circumstances, then i could think it a more reasonable decision. But the naivety in the OP's posts can't help but make people feel uncomfortable when reading this thread. One thing is for sure, judging by the OP's gripes about the UK and his vision of Thailand as somehow superior or at least no worse in these matters, he is in for significant disillusionment when he comes to live here and the reality dawns on him. The good thing is, it shouldn't take him long to realise that and rectify his decision if he needs to, albeit at upheaval to his family.

It's obvious he is making the decision because he personally is unsatisfied with life in the UK. There is no harm in this if he can afford to send his daughter to one of the best international schools available as she grows up (not cheap), if that is not the case he will be seriously short changing her for a pipe dream.

[brahmburgers]

The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill.

Thailand is the type of place that appears rosy when one is contemplating coming/moving there. It's a turn on when one first shows up. It retains a bit of its shine as the weeks turn in to months. Yet the pizzazz fades over time.

Idyllic thoughts that Thais are all friendly and cool headed fade, as familiarity sets in.

I suggest staying based in UK and trying to find ways to appreciate where you are as much as reasonably possible. Obviously, you are intrigued by what Thailand may have to offer, so you should come for extended visits with your family.

Forcing your daughter to adapt to a new land with a new language is mostly a drag. I had to do that several times in my formative years, and I don't recommend it. Sure, there are some good things about it, but the potential pitfalls aren't worth the risk.

I just re-read the OP's follow-up posts, and realize he's very sensitive to his daughter's feelings about things. To a large extent that can be good, but even affection and attachments can get overwrought sometimes. If there exists that strong a sensitivity (bordering on sheltering) toward one's child, then moving to Thailand is going to bring up problems. It can't be avoided. Sorry to be the bearer of news you don't want to hear, but I'm just the messenger, and it comes from someone who has visited Thailand for 22 years and been a full time resident for 11.

On a related observation: I got to know a mixed couple (American husband/Thai wife) for several years as neighbors. their daughter at 6,7 was sweet and curious. As the years rolled by and she got increasingly influenced by her Thai mom, she became increasingly prissy, stuck-up, judgmental, money worshiping, exceedingly vain, and ghost fearing. That's just one little gal, but I thought to relate it to you.

Edited October 1, 2009 by brahmburgers

[KikiKookoo]

There is no harm in this if he can afford to send his daughter to one of the best international schools available as she grows up (not cheap), if that is not the case he will be seriously short changing her for a pipe dream.

My daughter and I are planning to move back to Thailand in 2 years. In our case, we have no choice. My parents are getting old. They have been asking us to move back and we can't postpone any longer.

I agree with John_Rambo that if you can afford, you can send your daughter to one of the best international schools. I have heard a lot of good things about 1 particular school in Bangkok, very expenseive though. Your daughter will not have any being-minority problem in that school. Thai Language and Culture is a Government requirement even in international schools (in case you are worried that she will not learn any Thai stuff in international school). You have probably seen the other thread about internation schools. My daughter will go to bilingual school since I can't afford the international school. I am still looking around, although I already have one in mind.

I am 37 now. I was born and raised in Thailand. I would say Thai culture taught us to respect each other and to be generous. It might be because of Buddist culture, I can't say for certain. (I don't mean to offend other religious, every religious teaches well. It is in different ways.) I came to US in '97 to continue my education. Once I started working, I found that my American colleagues didn't help each other as much as my Thai colleagues. In school, American teachers would not go out of their ways to help the students. Their working hours was very strick. In Thailand, Thai teachers were more willing to stay late to help out.

However, as other posts in this thread said, things in Thailand have changed. People in the world are more materialized now. Thai people as well. Thai Politics is not better than other countries, either. When I grew up, I heard that Thai culture/believes was about 20 years behind Western's. For example, 20 years ago teeagers didn't have sexual relationship in high school. Now, they start to do so. 20 years ago, Thai couples didn't get divorces. It didn't matter how unhappy they were. Now, the rate of divorcing in Thailand increases.

Bottom line, things are getting worse in every part of the world. You can try and move back if things do not work out.