Acknowleding Other Farangs With A Smile

[maikee]

I know this has been discussed in other threads, but....

If you asked any farang to list the top 3 reasons why they live/visit Thailand, somewhere in there would be something about the friendliness and the easy wonderful smile of Thais.

Why is it then that farangs have such a hard time acknowledging other farangs with a smile (or even just acknowledging) in areas where there are not that many of us. Saw 3 yesterday in the Lotus.

1 lady who was with her luk kreung (guessing) gave me a constant dirty look.

1 guy who sheepishly looked up at me at the last second. I smiled and said hello. I did manage to get a quick smile and a hello though. It was wierd... it was like he was slinking past me.

1 guy I stood behind in the liquor section buying up half the section. Glanced at me for a second and then ignored me.

It's like that always.

I just find very odd and really very funny that I'd say 95 percent of the farangs I run across refuse to display the very personality traits that they find so attractive in Thais. Having said that.. I haven't seen too many friendly smiling Thais in the Lotus either... They all look really pissed off. Maybe it is just Lotus? Kind of like what going into Wal-Mart in the U.S. does to me.

Well anyway, just an observation. Unless you are just a very hard non-giveashit about anything person. I'd warrant a smile from a stranger (especially in a country other than your own) on some level makes you feel good.

[jayenram]

Yes. It does happen. I always nod and smile at other farangs. Not all the time do they respond.

And why is it that the mormons never acknowledge other farangs? Albeit I admit I'm a lost cause - but how are they to know that?

[aletta]

Always give a fellow farang a smile.

Are you in Bangkok as that is enough to make anyone moody.Get yourself out into Isaan and meet a happier bunch.

[carlthailand]

I have seen it happen and it does get frustrating.

Perhaps those here with their girlies are worried some one is gonna take them away. LOL

There could still be a language barrier. Not all farangs can speak English. Waits for comment.

I try to say hi. In fact I tried to organise a get together and half the comments were time wasting or boring.

I believe to a certain extent we should stick together. We can help each other out. In fact I think we could do alot more if we did stick together.

Perhaps, if all of us on TV could just keep smiling at farangs we might get to meet each other because if our smile was returned you'd almost know it was another TV. Kinda like a secret handshake.

My 2baht anyway.

Cc

[aletta]

Thailand does seem to attract a fair share of people you really don't want to get in a conversation with,so maybe people are scared to initiate social contact.

I'm probably one sandwich short of a picnic myself,but the local Vietnam Vet makes me look sane.

Edited March 25, 2005 by aletta

[buadhai]

Is it possible that some of these types don't want to acknowledge the fact that they aren't the only farang in town? That if they acknowledge another farang they are somehow giving up the exclusive nature of their private little relationship with Thailand?

[maikee]

Thailand does seem to attract a fair share of people you really don't want to get in a conversation with,so maybe people are scared to initiate social contact.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No doubt. But I'm not talking about striking up a converstation. Just a simple smile, maybe a friendly hello to another person. Besides, who needs words? A look is worth a thousand words right? You'll probably never see the stranger again in your life. You don't know the person, so why not assume the best and "say" the right thing with a smile?

Carl, good idea. Should be easy to detect all the TV members

Aletta, I'm up around the Saraburi area. I need to take a trip up to the Isaan area to what's up.

Jayenram. Mormons do not acknowledge you because you are not their target. They assume you are hopeless, or already have some "religion". You don't even show up their radar. There is a whole country here of folks that needs to be "saved".

[Bull]

I have to say that many of the farangs I see on the streets of Bkk (of course none of then belongs to this forum) look like people that I would try and stay away from at home too...

For the rest of you...Sorry if I failed to nod and smile. I agree with you 100% maikee.

Bull

[cdnvic]

I try to be friendly, but sometimes you say one word to a lonely guy and suddenly he's your best friend for life and he turns out to be an idiot saying inane things like:

"The other night I found this cheap piece of arse down at...."

"How much did you pay for that girl?"

"Your wife?"

"What are you doing with that bottle?"

"Please stop, you're hurting me!"

bla bla bla blabla....

cv

[Totster]

It's a sad truth but some farangs think they are better than the rest....

totster

[fw1]

It's a sad truth but some farangs think they are better than the rest....

totster 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Strongly suspect that there is a lot of truth in that.

If smiling at foreigners doesn't work then you could try laughing.

[PvtDick]

I don't see any reason why it's necessary to acknowledge other farangs in a different way from how we acknowledge -- or don't acknowledge -- Asians. Just because they're skin is white? I certainly don't feel any special camaraderie with someone just because they're the same race as I am.

[Khun Larry]

Why is it then that farangs have such a hard time acknowledging other farangs with a smile

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There ya go.

[Lancelot]

I live in BKK and most of the farangs (90%) I acknowledge here never bother to respond. I usually say hello one time; if they ignore me, cool, I don't waste my time greeting them in the furture.

I'm mostly refering to people in my apartment building or immediate neighborhood. I don't pester every farang in BKK with "Good morning" salutations.

Personally, I think it's just a sign of the times we live in. Folks are just a little more insular and self absorbed now a days.

[Diggerbasher]

If someone catches my eye,Thai or farang,i like to smile.Why not,doesn't hurt.

[pedro01]

If it's in a crowded pub in the city, I don't do it.

If it's out in the countryside walking - I do it & say hello.

So - if I was walking up the Erawan waterfall I'd say hi to everyone on the way down. Getting in a lift I do it. If I Walked in to O'Reilly's & I woudn't do it. Walking around Silom I don't do it & for sure in Pattaya I don't 'cause I'd be smiling at every fcuker !

So I guess the more 'personal' a situation is - the more I do it.

[Gazza]

If it's in a crowded pub in the city, I don't do it.

If it's out in the countryside walking - I do it & say hello.

So - if I was walking up the Erawan waterfall I'd say hi to everyone on the way down.  Getting in a lift I do it. If I Walked in to O'Reilly's & I woudn't do it. Walking around Silom I don't do it & for sure in Pattaya I don't 'cause I'd be smiling at every fcuker !

So I guess the more 'personal' a situation is - the more I do it. 

Pedro sums it up for me. The more remote the location is, the more I try and initiate a smile. Forget about Bangkok, Pattaya and the like, otherwise I'd feel like a village idiot walking around smiling at everyone.

Although 15 years ago living in NKP, whenever I saw another farang I used to feel as though 'my little peice of Issan' had been trespassed on (as mgnewman says).

Now, I've grown out of that phase. Plus, it's not such a rarity nowadays to see farangs in out-of-the-way places anymore.

A big to all those I've ignored in the past.

[autonomous_unit]

This topic does get all mixed up with different views on racism etc. I share the idea above that I don't feel any special fondness for people just because their freckles match mine. Sometimes I wonder if I might overcompensate and acknowledge them less than I would in the west, but then I've always had people thinking I am grumpy until they know me.

There are also many minor variations in the west, depending on whether you spent more time in cities, suburbs, or rural areas. The East Bay Area around San Francisco had a lot more friendly, almost rural, attitude towards greeting people when I was growing up. You'd give and expect a friendly hello or at least "hey" or "'lo" from people passing on a quit street, and maybe a pause and some smalltalk if neither was in a hurry. But get into a more crowded space and it starts shifting to just a nod and then finally an attempt to not make "rude" eye contact unless you know the person. I've noticed people seem more insular there now too.

I was in Boston recently and could not help noticing that people had the most "rude" tendancy to make eye contact with every stranger passing by, including me glancing out a pub window as they passed. I thought for a moment I was back in Bangkok being stared at for being a big&tall farang!

[Serendipitist]

I don't see any reason why it's necessary to acknowledge other farangs in a different way from how we acknowledge -- or don't acknowledge -- Asians.  Just because they're skin is white?  I certainly don't feel any special camaraderie with someone just because they're the same race as I am.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ditto.

[jayenram]

Jayenram. Mormons do not acknowledge you because you are not their target. They assume you are hopeless, or already have some "religion". You don't even show up their radar. There is a whole country here of folks that needs to be "saved". 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was in court as a witness a couple of weeks ago. I was asked, prior to giving evidence, what religion I subscribed to. I admitted that I didn't really have a religion which really confused the court. OK, in the end, I agreed to be a Christian for the length of the proceedings.

[Rigger]

Where I live in Isaan (small village) if I see a white guy I stop and have a chat if he seems ok I will ask them around for a beer . Khon Kaen is a bit different most wont say much too you but then again most are gerryatrics 50+ with a drinking problem

[leftcross]

If a man I didn't know said hello to me in the street I would assume he was gay.

[meom]

If a man I didn't know said hello to me in the street I would assume he was gay.

You're either paranoid or an optimist.

[bangkapiboy]

Thai men saying hello to me and striking up conversations are basically always gay. I guess I drive the boys crazy.

[tutsiwarrior]

would you smile and say hello to a backpacker? I think not as most of them are people I wouldn't want to associate with under any circumstances.

In 40 years of travelling I usually mind my own business...

[Kerryd]

I think society as a whole is changing, especially in the larger cities. Canada is usually thought of as a friendly place, full of overly polite people. I've noticed though, that in places like Vancouver, most people will look down or away to avoid eye contact (the "sheep").

The ones that do make eye contact (the "wolves"), are either people confident in themselves, or are about to hit you up for a hand-out/drug deal. I lived in a crummy neighbourhood and saw a lot of that. The dealers were about the only ones who would be looking up and around. If they could make eye contact with someone, they might not sell anything, but they might get some money just to leave the person alone.

Funny how when I walked around, head up and looking at everybody, even the dealers would look away,not because I'm a big guy or scary looking, but because I looked confident (and with my military hair cut, many of them probably thought I was a cop).

Small towns aren't as bad, but even there, people get tired of saying Good (morning/afternoon/day) 47 times from the time they park the car until they get into the (bank/restaurant/jail cell).

People are too worried about confrontation these days to risk being friendly.

[TRIPxCORE]

I would have to agree with many of the thoughts posted by others. As it was said by the OP, many farang mention friendly Thais as a reason for wanting to move to LOS. The flip side of that coin is that many of those same farang probably don't want to associate with other farang too much as well and thats why they left their home country. Some want to immerse themselves into Thai culture and ways and forget all about what they were before. Forging a new identity maybe?

Also, with the amount of scams going on in and around Thailand, a lot of people are probably very cautious of someone that is overly friendly.

[Boatabike]

Is it possible that some of these types don't want to acknowledge the fact that they aren't the only farang in town? That if they acknowledge another farang they are somehow giving up the exclusive nature of their private little relationship with Thailand?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think you have a very good insight to the way a lot of folk living/visiting here behave, or is it perhaps a part of your own nature that allows you this reflection in others?

[carlthailand]

I don't see any reason why it's necessary to acknowledge other farangs in a different way from how we acknowledge -- or don't acknowledge -- Asians.  Just because they're skin is white?  I certainly don't feel any special camaraderie with someone just because they're the same race as I am.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ditto.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think you both missed the point. I think there was no reference to Asians because they are happy to say hello. I find I have no trouble with that. I think I try to at least say hi to a farang more so someone in a work outfit of sorts. Gee, whats wrong with being nice anyway. On that the farangs I've seen recently don't read TV or perhaps its dickie and serendipstick.

Cc

[meadish_sweetball]

I don't see any reason why it's necessary to acknowledge other farangs in a different way from how we acknowledge -- or don't acknowledge -- Asians.  Just because they're skin is white?  I certainly don't feel any special camaraderie with someone just because they're the same race as I am.

ditto.

I think you both missed the point. I think there was no reference to Asians because they are happy to say hello. I find I have no trouble with that. I think I try to at least say hi to a farang more so someone in a work outfit of sorts. Gee, whats wrong with being nice anyway. On that the farangs I've seen recently don't read TV or perhaps its dickie and serendipstick.

Cc

The Thai tenants in the apartment building where I live never say hello, whether to me or to each other. Quite frankly, many Thais around here are snotty and aloof to each other. The ones working in the tourist industry are a different story.

I generally dont smile to other farang, but I will always respond to a hello. Just as some have pointed out, this place has its fair share of weirdos and broken records who wont leave you alone once you have started talking to them. Like somebody else said, it is a different story when you meet someone walking in the forest or in the countryside.