Need Avise Pls

[little2farangs]

i was in UK before for 2 years.My first daughter was born there and my second son was born here in Thailand. we move back to Thailand about 6 years ago. The problem start since we move back to Thailand my husband (British) was really enjoy Thailand. he is back to smoke and drink. Now the situation getting worse. I kick him out because he never look after the kids and help me in anything so we separate for 7 months until now by did not divorce yet. Last month i have 2 fa-rangs as thief try to break my house. This is very strange and only me with the kids were at home. i was very very scare and confuse. I have 2 of them face apparel in the CCTV. The police said that they are come from my husband because no fa-range thief like this before. Now every night i cant sleep properly. I did call him and ask but he said he did not do this. so............???? pls anyone give me some advise..

TA

[Mario2008]

Sorry about your problem, it must have been scarry.

If it was a burgalery, there is nothing you can do but to make sure your house is secure. If it were your husband's friends you might try to work things out with him. Either try to resolve your problems (his behaviour) or get a divorce. But I would at least sit down with him and talk about the future, and about this incident.

[Geekfreaklover]

I agree with Mario.

You may have to get a divorce at some point if you defintely can't stay together. If you both realize what you are entitled to and what you want then you can discuss it, come to an agreement and have a quick divorce at the amphur. If their is conflict in what you both want then you will have to go to court.

Regards the break-in. It sounds that there may be an object of personal or financial value in the house that your husbands friends were trying to get for him. If you can figure out what that is, then perhaps offer it to him. If not why not ask him what they were trying to find.

If you can prove it was his friends by VDO footage it won't look good for him in court.

But, that said. You may want to try and work things out to stay together. Divorces are messy and expensive and difficult with small children involved..

Good luck.

Edited November 2, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[little2farangs]

Thank you very much guys, still cant find the way out. the most valuesable in the house is my two kids nothing else. But i am allow him to see them even they can see him when ever they want. Anyway i did not get marriged hear. we register in UK. how can we divorce??? .................... ummmm life is so difficult and hard. Thanks again for your time.

[Mario2008]

If you registered the marriage also in Thailand you can divorce in Thailand as well as in the UK.

[little2farangs]

I translate the marrige certificate to Thai and use it for us. and i also change my sure name. could i divorce here at Amphur. I am Thai.

Thank you

[stevymac]

did you show the cctv to the police? it must be friends of your husband, bit of a coinicidence just 2 random farangs breaking into your house so id go to police, also is it true in thailand if someone breaks into your house your allowed to kill to defend yourself and property?

[Mario2008]

I translate the marrige certificate to Thai and use it for us. and i also change my sure name. could i divorce here at Amphur. I am Thai.

Thank you

You will have to go to your husbands embassy and have the marriage certificate legalised. Next you have it translated, (I'm not sure if you are allowed to do it your self. The legalised document and translation you take to the Thai ministry of foreign affairs, consular section, and have it legalised there. Next you go to an amphur to have the marriage registered in Thailand.

Call the embassy first to see which documents they require and to check the procedure.

About a divorce. Under Thai law there are 2 ways to get a divorce. The first one is if you both agree to a divorce. In that case you simply both go to the amphur and cancel your marriage. At the same time you can make arrangements about the children and child support and how you will divide property.

This is very fast and doesn't cost, although when property is involved I would consult a lawyer.

If you can't come to an agreement you will have to go to court. In that case you can only divorce under one of the reasons mentioned in the law and it will take longer and costs a lot more in lawyer and court fees.

[sinbin]

Thank you very much guys, still cant find the way out. the most valuesable in the house is my two kids nothing else. But i am allow him to see them even they can see him when ever they want. Anyway i did not get marriged hear. we register in UK. how can we divorce??? .................... ummmm life is so difficult and hard. Thanks again for your time.

I know I may get critism, but I think this is a wind up.

[cyb]

Thank you very much guys, still cant find the way out. the most valuesable in the house is my two kids nothing else. But i am allow him to see them even they can see him when ever they want. Anyway i did not get marriged hear. we register in UK. how can we divorce??? .................... ummmm life is so difficult and hard. Thanks again for your time.

I know I may get critism, but I think this is a wind up.

It isn't a windup, I can assure you of that. I have being chatting to her in thai on pm.

[little2farangs]

Thank you Khun Cyb. but just let it be.................... Kob Khun ka.

[cyb]

Thank you Khun Cyb. but just let it be.................... Kob Khun ka.

As you wish little2

[GuestHouse]

Before rushing to divorce in Thailand it might be in your best interest and the best interest of your children to consider divorcing in the UK.

You are legally married in the UK and you have children with a UK Citizen - So some things to consider:

Do you and your husband have any property in the UK? (Do you own a house, or land in the UK?)

Do you and your husband have any investments in the UK?

Do you and your husband (or more likely does your husband) have a pension in the UK.

Under UK law you would almost certainly be entitled to half of your joint wealth in the UK - You and your children have rights to this under the UK Law - It is not taking anything from your husband it is taking what belongs to you and your children.

You also have to right to apply to a UK court for maintenance payments from your husband (your children's father) - These payments can be made from money your husband has in the UK, money he receives in the UK or they may be taken from property and investments he has in the UK.

These payments are also made for your children until they are 18 years old.

Your husband may not be in the UK and might avoid payment now - but a UK divorce would fix a legal obligation on him from the first day of the court ruling.

He would have to pay you to help raise his children as soon as he returns to the UK (He would also owe you any money he does not pay while he is abroad).

I really really advise you not to rush into a Thai divorce until you have considered a divorce in the UK.

I don't know your financial situation, but as a starting point you would be entitled to half the money and property that you and your husband have in the UK.

I suspect the house breaking may have been an attempt at intimidating you into getting a quick divorce in the UK.

If you think you might want to consider a divorce in the UK and need some guidance on how to go about finding help send me a PM - I'd be glad to help.

[Mossfinn]

been an attempt at intimidating you into getting a quick divorce in the UK.

GH

Don't you mean intimidation into making a quick divorce in Thailand? She will be better off under the terms you state in having the divorce ratified in the UK.

I am not picking holes, but 2farangs is obviously not a native English speaker and so could read it wrong.

[GuestHouse]

Thanks for the correction Mossfin, you are correct.

Incidentally, proposed changes in the law regarding child maintenance would bring the UK into line with the US where failure to pay maintenance would result in not being able to renew passports and driving licenses - A welcome weapon against absconding parents and one that would perhaps ensure that if the mother here did divorce in the UK and get maintenance, the father might be more inclined to pay up.

----------

Regards the intimidation.

Can the mother invite a family member to stay with her?

[Daewoo]

Isn't it weird how normally so many of us would jump to support the poor farrang being ripped off by this ungrateful money grabbing Thai wife... yet when we hear the story from her side, we can show real compasion...

I am in no way criticising little2farrang... I totally believe her story, and it seems that her husband has gone off the rails now he is back in Thailand...

@ little2... do you know any of his farrang friends that are Jai Dii??? Friends that will talk to you and too him and try to help sort things out nicely??? Friends who will talk to him and make him see that he has gone funny in the head, and needs to get himself right???

I am sure that you want him to still be around and a father to your children if he can set a good role model for them...

GuestHouse is right about the divorce, if you married in UK, then you are entitled to the same treatment under law as if you were living in the UK... but aside from knowing you might have money to support your children, the court can not make your husband be a good man again...

I wish you the best of luck...

Regards,

Daewoo

[little2farangs]

Isn't it weird how normally so many of us would jump to support the poor farrang being ripped off by this ungrateful money grabbing Thai wife... yet when we hear the story from her side, we can show real compasion...

I am in no way criticising little2farrang... I totally believe her story, and it seems that her husband has gone off the rails now he is back in Thailand...

@ little2... do you know any of his farrang friends that are Jai Dii??? Friends that will talk to you and too him and try to help sort things out nicely??? Friends who will talk to him and make him see that he has gone funny in the head, and needs to get himself right???

I am sure that you want him to still be around and a father to your children if he can set a good role model for them...

GuestHouse is right about the divorce, if you married in UK, then you are entitled to the same treatment under law as if you were living in the UK... but aside from knowing you might have money to support your children, the court can not make your husband be a good man again...

I wish you the best of luck...

Regards,

Daewoo

Thank you for your time. i am also agree with you. yes, correct you've just listen to my side (as no one blame themselves)and yes i do need some support from him but if it by force... ( i am Thai i don't like this way ).. may be i will not take it. He is a human he should know ( or may be not ) what he should do right?

[Tim207]

Thank you for your time. i am also agree with you. yes, correct you've just listen to my side (as no one blame themselves)and yes i do need some support from him but if it by force... ( i am Thai i don't like this way ).. may be i will not take it. He is a human he should know ( or may be not ) what he should do right?

Sure, you are Thai and if you want to let him off of financial support to you, you can do that in the divorce. Keep in mind though that the kids DESERVE to be supported even if you don't feel that you want to force him for the money you are entitled to by western laws. You shouldn't have to force him to pay for his kids but sadly many men would rather let their kids go hungry than give an ex wife the money needed to take care of them. Use the courts to protect the rights of your kids even if you don't want to protect your own rights.

I have little sympathy or faith in the responsibility of a man who would send men to the house of his wife and kids to freighten them.

[Daewoo]

As Tim said above... experience would say that a man should know not to send men around to his house, and frighten his ex-wife and children... so it would also say he is not going to know to do the right thing and support his children, by himself...

We men are very critical of women who just take everything they can get in a divorce... there is nothing that says it costs half of everything a man has to support his children, because all men have different property... (and some like me, not very much )...

Maybe you can work out how much you think you need to look after his children, and ask him for that... It should be the amount he would pay if you were still together (same school as if you were together, some clothes, same home)... In Australia, a man knows that the court will tell him how much he has to pay every month, unless his ex-wife agrees to a different amount... I am sure UK law is the same... Men get very upset when the court just sets a figure based on how much they earn, rather than what they think their children should cost... He should know that a court in the UK will make him pay much much more than you might agree to...

I still hope that maybe you can find one of his freinds to talk to him, man to man, and make him see that he is doing the wrong thing... It will be the best for you and for him and most importantly your shared children...

Good luck,

Daewoo

[little2farangs]

If i divorce here. Can he stills work here? yes he has got work permit. What will be affect him. I would like to have some information of this because he wants to stay here in Thailand. If the divorce force him to go back to UK. then he will get angry me as it was. And if everything goes wrong i have to sale the house and run away from him with my 2 but this is my last choice.

Thanks again for all helpful advice and thanks for your time.

little2

[Mario2008]

If i divorce here. Can he stills work here? yes he has got work permit. What will be affect him. I would like to have some information of this because he wants to stay here in Thailand. If the divorce force him to go back to UK. then he will get angry me as it was. And if everything goes wrong i have to sale the house and run away from him with my 2 but this is my last choice.

Thanks again for all helpful advice and thanks for your time.

little2

Is his current permission to stay based on the marriage? A divorce will mean that he no longer can get a visa and extension based on being married to a Thai national. Strictly speaking, he already can't get an extension of stay based on marriage as you are not living together.

But he can stay in Thailand for other reasons. If he works and has an income of at least 50,000 baht a month he can get a permission to stay based on that. For some jobs, like teachers and mebers of the press, there is no minimum income requirement.

If he is already staying based on his work a divorce will not change that.

He can also qualify for a visa based on his children, but for extensions of stay they might want him to have sole custody over the children.

[Krap]

Isn't it weird how normally so many of us would jump to support the poor farrang being ripped off by this ungrateful money grabbing Thai wife... yet when we hear the story from her side, we can show real compasion...

I am in no way criticising little2farrang... I totally believe her story, and it seems that her husband has gone off the rails now he is back in Thailand...

@ little2... do you know any of his farrang friends that are Jai Dii??? Friends that will talk to you and too him and try to help sort things out nicely??? Friends who will talk to him and make him see that he has gone funny in the head, and needs to get himself right???

I am sure that you want him to still be around and a father to your children if he can set a good role model for them...

GuestHouse is right about the divorce, if you married in UK, then you are entitled to the same treatment under law as if you were living in the UK... but aside from knowing you might have money to support your children, the court can not make your husband be a good man again...

I wish you the best of luck...

Regards,

Daewoo

Thank you for your time. i am also agree with you. yes, correct you've just listen to my side (as no one blame themselves)and yes i do need some support from him but if it by force... ( i am Thai i don't like this way ).. may be i will not take it. He is a human he should know ( or may be not ) what he should do right?

Thai way sometime outsmart farang way.