Interruptions To English Conversations: Why?

[SiangDeeMahk]

Personally I just think basic courtesy for their fellow man hasn't been instilled, like holding the door open for whoever is following you. Some silly bint nearly let a door slam in my toddlers face the other day, he had run up ahead of me & was following her in, she even looked at him, smiled, said how cute he was then just let the door go. I mean, total oblivion. Thankfully I knew this was going to happen (as it is a common occurrence from nearly every thai person I follow through doors at 7-11 etc) & had rushed up the steps just in time to stop the door from smacking him one. It just doesn't compute to be considerate of others & this is something I see on a daily basis in many different scenarios.

You may not realize it, but you're really onto something with the whole "opening and holding the door" thing. I thought of it, because I remember watching a High(er)-So Thai friend of mine (a quite polite Thai-Chinese girl, who I knew from the US), completely ignore the option to hold open a door of a Thai department store for a somewhat obviously lowerclass Thai person coming in behind us. Let it slam shut after her, in the face of the girl behind us, completely. I was shocked; I'd never seen her act that way in the US, but I've come to understand (but not approve of) her rude behavior, more recently.

There definitely IS something going on, unspoken, between the lines, with Thai's apparent "disrespect" of some people. You have to remember something: Thai society is incredibly hierarchical, and ordered completely by status. It's something not easily recognized or accepted by us westerners, because except for extreme cases, we've all but done away with the class of another person determining how polite we should be with them.

Basically, politeness in western society isn't as much based on the status of the person receiving the politeness, but in the (fairly constant level of) politeness of the person giving it. For instance, I'm a pretty considerate, polite guy. I was taught as a kid to be that way with everyone, so I'm equally polite to the girl cleaning the floor in a public bathroom or a foodcart vendor, as I am with a Thai Immigration officer or a Monk. And conversely, impolite westerners tend to be equally impolite with nearly everyone they interact with.

But not the Thais. There are very strong boundaries between people of different classes in Thailand, and the concept of "being overtly polite, or considerate" to someone lower than yourself, is not often considered. Compounding this is the age hierarchy, where younger people must defer, acquiesce, kowtow, and obediently respect anyone older, and never visa-versa. The result is that Thai's level of politeness varies based on criteria that we aren't so readily tuned into, as westerners.

So, how does that relate to Thai's interrupting us? I'm sure it's true that many Thai children are taught to be polite (in general), as most children in the world are, but something different begins to happen as they get older (and especially if they are middle or upper class Thais).

The thing is, in addition to not having to respect those of lower class, many mid & high class Thais (and a few low-so) are well practiced xenophobes. Usually, the higher they are, the more racially superior they think themselves to be over a farang. Let's not forget, the very word "farang" is fairly derogatory itself; meaning "foreign; not normal, not belonging".

In a system where your class matters, and westerners don't even fall within any real part of the Thai class system, is it any wonder that many urban mid and high class Thais are demonstratively disrespectful and impolite at interrupting conversation, cutting in front of us in 7-11, shopping and ATM lines, nearly driving over us at crosswalks, etc. To them, we're lower than the lowest Thais. On the opposite end of the scale are the rural lower-class Thais, (who in comparison) are more genuinely considerate and polite with us (which is sweet, I think), by nature of their similar-to-us "low" social status.. (but some of them will still take advantage of a perceived "rich farang", if they're able to).

Being the western version of "polite" by not interupting someone may be generally less important in Thai culture altogether, but it's also true that westerners bear an additional racial impoliteness at the hands of many Thais. And please, for the record, I'm not passing judgement here.. just making true observations (including some generalizations, notwithstanding).

In any case, the better you understand a different culture, the more easily and successfully you can navigate it.

[barky]

I'm happy to say this doesn't happen to me too often, but it does.

Nowadays, if I'm interrupted by a Thai of no consequence, I'll simply tell them to F-off, or get between them and the person I was speaking to and carry on with my conversation, or if its not so important I'll just walk away and take another tack if needed.(like ask someone else or help myself)

All in all, I don't give a fig why Thais feel they can just interrupt my conversation. I am not interested in their cultural reasoning for breaking into a convo I'm having, I simply take the action that will get me what I want and the interrupter can go jump. End of.

[sbk]

I smile sweetly and say "I am not finished yet" and that usually solves the problem. If they insist on continuing, I walk away. Life is too short to get riled by rude people.

[LindsayBKK]

I am sure if you stuck a 500bht note to your face they may keep listening to you.

Money talks in this country. Just like The red group. etc.

It's sad to say but Thais will never change.

Known many for 35 years and they never change.

If that's the way they want to be so be it, not my problem. ไม่ใช่ปัญหาของฉัน

[ilovemangos]

Sam I know what you mean

my wifes teenage son can be silent for hours but when his mother and i start a conversation sure a hel_l he interupts.

and most of the time ok all of the time its just some bs that could have waited.

jw

[little_muppet]

I am thai and it happened to me before from a German tourist in the UK ! how rude. so i dont think it only Thais that do that, but it matter of how their brain grow (any ages and races)