Gift For Thai Mother Inlaw

[473geo]

Daz

If you give money.....too liittle and you are cheap......too much and you are an flash idiot who made a rod for your own back

If you take whisky and she doesn't drink!!!!

If you give gold....and she would have preferred money!!!!

Just wait until you arrive, suggest to your wife you would like to take a small gift for her mother......let her help you decide.....it is so much easier.....and you want to get it right....right?

Good luck.....enjoy the experience.........your experience.

[dazk]

-dazk-

Ok, daughter did not tell her mother that she get married with a Falang, that still lets the question open, why not tell?

Anyway that is to far going and non topic.

If the OP want tell us his story, where he met her exactly, in what circumstances and from where she is and her family lives, we would understand all better.

And I can say I would be interested. But as I say off topic.

dazk, for your question, I would go for some Gold, at least 1 Baht.

no problem alfredo don't mind talking about my story

Mother in law knew all about me my wife never kept our relationship a secret,as far as i know.

as to where and how we meet I was spending a month travelling around thailand and meet my wife in a bar in nongkhai she was out with friends i was sat at a table next to them and we got chatting asked her out for drink the following night just boy meets girl. as i said before my wife has small restaurant and own house mother lives with her and also lives with other daughter and business man husband in bkk.

[dazk]

boys, knock it off both of u or both of u will get a 'vacation' from the thread.... and 'u' both know who u are...

stop the personal attacks.

dazk: yes it is very strange because in thai culture, family, mostly the mother, is a very important person for daughters and yes it is wierd that mother in law wasnt told first. it does indeed make u wonder why...

secondly, although the folks here are jaded and have seen this been there done that in thailand , they mostly have a point: .... and if i were u i would do some major research in to thai cultures and sub cultures, specifically laos/issan (nongkhai) cultural expectations and customs. caveat emptor

now, back on subject or the thread gets knocked off.

bina

israel

Quiet right bina i come on here for friendly chat and advise not insults.

[ALFREDO]

Thanks for the Info.

So you married legaly in the Thai law or in a Buddhist style? Still strange that your GF decided to marry without Mama and family.

Usualy in Isaan you are easy invited to meet the family and its mostly appriciated that the daughter marrys a Falang.

Is that difference in your circumstances maybe because your GF family is city based and has a financial higher background?

Did Mama not approve you, a Falang?

Maybe you can write more after your visit. Thanks.

[dazk]

Thanks for the Info.

So you married legaly in the Thai law or in a Buddhist style? Still strange that your GF decided to marry without Mama and family.

Usualy in Isaan you are easy invited to meet the family and its mostly appriciated that the daughter marrys a Falang.

Is that difference in your circumstances maybe because your GF family is city based and has a financial higher background?

Did Mama not approve you, a Falang?

Maybe you can write more after your visit. Thanks.

Legally married in thai law meaning spending day going to various government offices embassy etc but want to have proper wedding at later date. Marriage was a bit quick i asked her to marry me after gaining some dutch courage with a few beers, she said yes and we got married 3 days later before i had to return to the uk.

i never though it strange not to meet the family don't have much of a family myself so not that way inclined.

As far as i know mama is very happy with farlang i dont see any reason for my wife to lie.

[ALFREDO]

Ok, thank you for sharing a part of your private life with us. I could read that you hoped to get a warmer welcome here and are a bit pissed.

So, I say sorry for my Thaivisa friends, they are sometimes a little rough.

Would be nice if you keep us posted with Informations about your visit and how everything is running.

You married fast, that can bring some surprises in the daily life together.

Regarding your saying-I married my GF and not to her Mama and family. Usualy Thais have strong family bonds and you are indeed married with the whole family. Much more than in Europe.

So, I and sure also others are happy if we hear more from you. Now and in the future.

I come sometimes for Visaruns to Nong Khai, maybe you have an address, name to your GF-family Restaurant?

Good luck

[mogoso]

I believe the a baht weight of gold is 15.7 grams so it equates to just over a half ounce of gold or about $600 usd

My wife always brings her mom clothes, I just bring a credit card or two and take her shopping

[dazk]

Ok, thank you for sharing a part of your private life with us. I could read that you hoped to get a warmer welcome here and are a bit pissed.

So, I say sorry for my Thaivisa friends, they are sometimes a little rough.

Would be nice if you keep us posted with Informations about your visit and how everything is running.

You married fast, that can bring some surprises in the daily life together.

Regarding your saying-I married my GF and not to her Mama and family. Usualy Thais have strong family bonds and you are indeed married with the whole family. Much more than in Europe.

So, I and sure also others are happy if we hear more from you. Now and in the future.

I come sometimes for Visaruns to Nong Khai, maybe you have an address, name to your GF-family Restaurant?

Good luck

thank you for the warm welcome alfredo yes i am a bit pissed at the insulting comments i have received.

i will keep you posted about my visit to the mil and how things are going in general

yes we did marry fast and have a lot to find out about each other, but i was with my ex for 10years then we where married for the last 3 then some surprises then we divorced,so i dont think its a problem to marry so soon i feel it gives my wife the security she wants.

Yes thais do have stronger family bonds but i still would not base whether or not to have a relationship or marry some one on there family.

[needforspeed]

Ok, thank you for sharing a part of your private life with us. I could read that you hoped to get a warmer welcome here and are a bit pissed.

So, I say sorry for my Thaivisa friends, they are sometimes a little rough.

Would be nice if you keep us posted with Informations about your visit and how everything is running.

You married fast, that can bring some surprises in the daily life together.

Regarding your saying-I married my GF and not to her Mama and family. Usualy Thais have strong family bonds and you are indeed married with the whole family. Much more than in Europe.

So, I and sure also others are happy if we hear more from you. Now and in the future.

I come sometimes for Visaruns to Nong Khai, maybe you have an address, name to your GF-family Restaurant?

Good luck

thank you for the warm welcome alfredo yes i am a bit pissed at the insulting comments i have received.

i will keep you posted about my visit to the mil and how things are going in general

yes we did marry fast and have a lot to find out about each other, but i was with my ex for 10years then we where married for the last 3 then some surprises then we divorced,so i dont think its a problem to marry so soon i feel it gives my wife the security she wants.

Yes thais do have stronger family bonds but i still would not base whether or not to have a relationship or marry some one on there family.

Dazk, some comments are not ment to insult you, they just ring the alarm bells and lights.

I see many people making a quick decision like you most failed within 2 years, hope for you it will work out, keep us informed.

Cheers

Edited April 7, 2010 by needforspeed

[dazk]

Ok, thank you for sharing a part of your private life with us. I could read that you hoped to get a warmer welcome here and are a bit pissed.

So, I say sorry for my Thaivisa friends, they are sometimes a little rough.

Would be nice if you keep us posted with Informations about your visit and how everything is running.

You married fast, that can bring some surprises in the daily life together.

Regarding your saying-I married my GF and not to her Mama and family. Usualy Thais have strong family bonds and you are indeed married with the whole family. Much more than in Europe.

So, I and sure also others are happy if we hear more from you. Now and in the future.

I come sometimes for Visaruns to Nong Khai, maybe you have an address, name to your GF-family Restaurant?

Good luck

thank you for the warm welcome alfredo yes i am a bit pissed at the insulting comments i have received.

i will keep you posted about my visit to the mil and how things are going in general

yes we did marry fast and have a lot to find out about each other, but i was with my ex for 10years then we where married for the last 3 then some surprises then we divorced,so i dont think its a problem to marry so soon i feel it gives my wife the security she wants.

Yes thais do have stronger family bonds but i still would not base whether or not to have a relationship or marry some one on there family.

Dazk, some comments are not ment to insult you, they just ring the alarm bells and lights.

I see many people making a quick decision like you most failed within 2 years, hope for you it will work out, keep us informed.

Cheers

Thanks i will keep you all informed

[SAW]

Marriages are not as they are made, but as they turn out.

I would only buy the MIL something if I genuinely liked her, if not, I would buy her jack shit.

[sabbrina]

dazk, jai yen (take it easy, cool off)...

its just that about thee quarters of the posts start along the same lines and a majority of people here are a bit jaded:

yes its a bit strange that u didnt meet the family first; even my husband called his mom and sisters after i agreed to marry, and made me talk to them (we were over seas and i only met them half a year later.)but i would have liked to meet them first. gives u a good idea of who /what family u are marrying.

baht gold is teh measurement of gold in thailand , try googling thai baht gold for a good explanation

no, chocolate does not go over well. yes, perfumes, gold (thai gold, not european stuff that thais dont seem to consider gold, read other threads to understand why); depending on the financial situation of the parents and their expectations of their farang son in law, gifts of whiskey (either good quality or thai whiskey, equally appreciated), and /or name brand handbags etc depending on social status of mom and family.... a small amount of money (wife can tell u how much) given with a deep wei and presented nicely is also a good gift ; thats what we gave , we gave it ceremonially and not just handed it over... its all up to how much u can afford because u will set a precedent, and also, how and what your wife says u should give....

bina

israel

One has to examine why people are so jaded .

He met her whilst travelling,knows nothing of what he is getting into. Does anyone think it will be only the man and his girl, that the girls familly will have no bearing on him.

He shouldve at least meat the family before saying im doomed

[rgs2001uk]

The MIL is probably pissed with the daughter because she didnt recieve 500,000 baht sin sot.

I would also hazard a guess she hasnt been recieving her 30,000 baht allowance fom the new farang son in law.

Probably also suffering from major loss of face because the builders havent yet started work on her new mansion.

I could of course be way off the mark, but no doubt the op discussed all these minor little details before his marriage, and his wife explained in great detail Issan culture and expectations.

[ignis]

Central Plaza do Gift Vouchers, you can buy as many baht worth as you want, she could then use them to buy anything she wanted

[needforspeed]

Central Plaza do Gift Vouchers, you can buy as many baht worth as you want, she could then use them to buy anything she wanted

Not sure if there is a Central Plaza in Roi et.

[simpathy]

a nice farm animal would be nice. it would help the mil tend the family farm.

[TAWP]

Give money now and expect their hands to reach into your pocket 10-fold in the future.

You set the bar.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

He's just asking for gift ideas for one of the most important people in an extended family. No need to treat that with such suspicion.

Mothers in Law are the second best thing in Thailand. (Second only to their daughters. )

[Powerband]

a muzzle would have served well for my ex mother in law.

[whistleblower]

He's just asking for gift ideas for one of the most important people in an extended family. No need to treat that with such suspicion.

Mothers in Law are the second best thing in Thailand. (Second only to their daughters. )

One of the most important people in an extended family that he didnt meet before he got married? Why would there be suspicion?

He thought i was giving him grief. But all i was trying to point out is the fact that a present for the M I L depends on how u r perceived by the family.

If he had met the MIL before and had paid a decent sin sot then a small gift would suffice. If he has married her on a whim cos the other brain was working that day, without meeting the family, going through the normal marriage celebrations. Then they are going to view him with (slight?) suspicion as to why he didnt do the (honourable) normal custom type marriage in Thailand. In that case a bloody big (expensive) gift would go a long way to pacifying the MIL.

To the OP I never intended belittling you, but after 12 years permanently living here i find the whole 'met her in a bar and hit it off' story not unbelievable but slightly naive on your part. A whirlwind romance sounds 'fairytale' and i hope all goes well for you. But if i were a betting man, i would say that you will probably be back on TV soon asking for more advice when it goes wrong!

For your sake i hope i am proved wrong.

[ALFREDO]

-dazk-

So when is the visit? Not Songkhran would have been the perfect fitting date to meet the whole family.

I hope you keep us up to date. Thank you.

Regards Alfred

[dazk]

-dazk-

So when is the visit? Not Songkhran would have been the perfect fitting date to meet the whole family.

I hope you keep us up to date. Thank you.

Regards Alfred

Hi Alfred

Not sure of date i have to do things last minuet as i have a business to run here in the uk, your right Songkhran would have been a good time to go and meet the family. Not posted any more on here about the subject as im a bit put of by the negative and some dame right rude replies although some members do have some positive things to say. Wont say any more as don't want to get into an argument that's not what i come here for.

[wallhigh]

she does not have money, supported by her daughter.

would like to take something from the uk as gift

money is always welcome by those who dont have any, especially from a

rich foreign bf - would elevate you to the "good man have jai dee" status.

but once the floodgates (or wallet) is opened...

[needforspeed]

-dazk-

So when is the visit? Not Songkhran would have been the perfect fitting date to meet the whole family.

I hope you keep us up to date. Thank you.

Regards Alfred

Hi Alfred

Not sure of date i have to do things last minuet as i have a business to run here in the uk, your right Songkhran would have been a good time to go and meet the family. Not posted any more on here about the subject as im a bit put of by the negative and some dame right rude replies although some members do have some positive things to say. Wont say any more as don't want to get into an argument that's not what i come here for.

Not posted any more/negative and some dame right rude replies

Listen Dask there been lives saved with this slap in your face wake up replies, no reason not to posted anymore.

Love makes blind and it is good to get the whole picture from some people who know the in and outs over here, just read and store it in the the back of your mind, maybe one day you open this information box and it is going to help you.

Nothing to worried about

Cheers