Married To An Alcoholic Farang

[taxexile]

your husband is a selfish man.

he chose the road he now finds himself travelling on.

if he wants to stop he will.

if he doesnt want to stop he wont.

he is responsible for the sorry state he is in.

i dont go much on counselling or sympathy for those addicted to alcohol , drugs or tobacco.

you married a weak man.

if he has will power and can appreciate and accept the support of a wife then he will stop.

if he doesnt stop then get out.

dont let him drag you down into a depressive existence with no way out.

he only thinks of himself , there must come a time when you have to think of your future.

[duke69]

your husband is a selfish man.

he chose the road he now finds himself travelling on.

if he wants to stop he will.

if he doesnt want to stop he wont.

he is responsible for the sorry state he is in.

i dont go much on counselling or sympathy for those addicted to alcohol , drugs or tobacco.

you married a weak man.

if he has will power and can appreciate and accept the support of a wife then he will stop.

if he doesnt stop then get out.

dont let him drag you down into a depressive existence with no way out.

he only thinks of himself , there must come a time when you have to think of your future.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are right! Only weak people fall into that.

But we are all weak in some moments of our life, some are luckier some others are not.

When you have a beloved fallen in such a s h i t the only thing you can do is to help him, no need to know why and what. Just help him with professional approach, books, movies, suggestions from friends are only delaying his recovery. If the situation is bad (as described), only a medical/psicological approach can restore him to a normal life.

[duke69]

What's gotta happen is the guy (or gal) has to hit rock-bottom before there's any improvement.

One of the things I love about Thailand is when a man reckons he's "over the line", he checks himself into the local Wat for an extended stay.

I have a brother-in-law in this situation and he's happier now than he's ever been and doesn't plan to ever leave the Order.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What the ###### of advice is this?? This is a serius post and if you have nothing to say, don't screw the post!!!!

Yes now all the alcoholist in the church becoming monks and all the prostitutes becoming nuns!!! Such qualitity of an advice!!!

Rock bottom??? Was it on a porno DVD???

My Grandpa was alcoholist and I can tell you that there is no rock-bottom at all, the sooner you act the better it is (also for the health).

Only professionals (AA) can do something.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Have you been drinking too duke? Boons responce was resonable and going to a Temple here can help many people.Just because your grandfather was an "alcoholist" dosn't mean that everybody is the same!

OP, try taking a hidden video of him when he is drunk.If you show him it when he is sober, it might make him seek help.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Alchoolism is a srius/true sickness, unless inside the temple there is a AA branch .....

May be we should suggest this wife to ask her husband in Europe to seek for a Buddist temple (or a church) and pay a visit, ......

We are talking about his health and life, not his soul

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Bud...you don't have a clue...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Both!!! May be you don't have that clue and just feel pissed cauz you feel like a little baby caught with the hands in the jar!!!

[frodo]

This is a real stituation. I'm faceing it every day. I wrote that for months but never wanted to post here until now, I think it the right time.

No time like the present.

Personally, I don't think the op is a troll. In the worst case scenario it could be true, even so, it is an important topic here. I do see possible warning flags in this. Without knowing either party and looking at what information has been given, it is highly possible that the husband suffers a lot from self-esteem issues. Others here have noted this as well. Loser, selfish, or weak are a few of the terms used. All these adjectives do describe an alcoholic.

There are some western men who for some reason or another, subscribe to the fallacy that Asian women in general are compliant, obediant, and essentially a servant to them. I stress "some" meaning that not all western men sterotype like this. When reality hits they do have to take a self-inventory. Either change their attitude or make changes in their life. But, that's another issue.

With someone who has low self-esteem and may subscribe to this sterotype, they can't accept the fact that they cannot change a person. People sometimes forget that we can never change people, places, or things. When they try, it is an issue of control or feeling out of control, which makes that desire even more dominant. When they feel their frail egos can't accept the reality of this, they have a tendency to drink or abuse other substances. What do they say? "I can control my drinking." "I can control my using." "I'm not the one with the issue...you are." On a basic selfish level, there might be a lot of control issues. If the husband had thought in the above sterotyped fashion about Asian women in general and he found the opposite was actually true, of course he will make sure she is blamed for everything from pollution to the war in Iraq (okay, I'm exaggerating a bit), but you get the picture? Transference is also a big issue when dealing with alcoholics. They are never wrong, it's everyone elses problem.

Much of the advice has been very good, and I will also concede that A.A is not for everyone. It is an option, however.

To the op, look at the reasons why you have stayed this long. Was it from fear from him or the unkown? Economic dependency? A belief he will change? Cultural reasons? Maybe isolation from others? Do a self-inventory and ask yourself for the reasons. Weigh the good and the bad. Look at what events took place after the abuse. Were there empty apologies (apologies followed later with the same stuff)? Remember, you're not alone. Others have been through this and worse and have managed to cope and effectively deal with this type of "relationship."

I'm not saying this is the case, but look at this diagram. Can you see yourself in this? If so, the odds are that if you stay as you are now, you could be in for a more difficult life ahead and perhaps a dangerous one at that.

TENSION BUILDING

EXPLOSIONHONEYMOON

Tension Building

During this stage, conflicts occur regularly, stress levels are high and communication is cut off.

The victim tries to smooth things over, behaves in a compliant manner, tries to stay out of the way and attempts to anticipate the abusers whims. The abuser becomes more controlling; jealousy is often present.

Explosion

Usually some form of abuse which evokes fear. Abuse can take many forms including physical, emotional or sexual abuse.

Honeymoon

This is a time of reconciliation and peace, when both minimize and rationalize the abuse. The abuser may beg for forgiveness and promise that the abuse won't happen again. The abuser may be loving and show changes in behavior (ie. stop drinking, take their partner out, spend more time with the children etc.). The victim believes that this time it will be different and that the past is behind them. The victim convinces her/himself that the "loving personality" is the abusers real self. Intimacy prevails at this time between the pair.

It's a cycle that's hard to get out of.

Stay safe and be good to yourself.

Frodo

[Rhys]

Sorry to hear about your plight.. Certainly you have tried.. failed.. and blame yourself.. for things you things.. you think would have changed the situation. but. .it is not yours.. Be Strong... BE strong to make the tought decision you must make with an Aloholic... do not fall in the the pity me.. syndrome of a disease..

BE strong.... sorry.. na. TING.. "U con dee ooo" mai me priayot..

More awaits.. Ting..

[chownah]

I think the OP is a troll.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It might be a troll since the level of this English is too good for a Thai woman (no offence, sorry for the statement), but the argument is interesting and real.

When you have a person coming home totally drunk peeing in the drawer and vomiting on the fabric sofa, then you will understand what alchoolism really is!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You may want to try to consider hanging out with a different type of Thai woman. Her English is very good, but with experience, one can see the few common errors in her writing.

For chownah, I'm sure she's a troll and been waiting 19 months on TV just to trip you up and egg you on during your first month on TV.

For OP, I am very sorry to hear of your troubles. Living in a foreign country is never easy, and to deal with an alcoholic abuser and verbal abuser makes it impossible.

Unless he is willing to get help, there's not much alternative for you then to leave him.

I can tell from your writing and your previous posts that you are an intelligent woman who deserves far more than you are receiving at present. You should feel proud of yourself and not let his difficulties become your guilt.

I wish you all the best of luck whichever way you decide.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for letting me know you agree with me. It means alot to me that someone with so many great posts under their belt will take their time to encourage me...a mere beginner here at TV.

[snoophound]

I feel this is not written by a thai

The grammar is pretty good.

Def a cry for help,whatever the scenario as its a real problem for many.

What's gotta happen is the guy (or gal) has to hit rock-bottom before there's any improvement.

One of the things I love about Thailand is when a man reckons he's "over the line", he checks himself into the local Wat for an extended stay.

I have a brother-in-law in this situation and he's happier now than he's ever been and doesn't plan to ever leave the Order.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What the ###### of advice is this?? This is a serius post and if you have nothing to say, don't screw the post!!!!

Yes now all the alcoholist in the church becoming monks and all the prostitutes becoming nuns!!! Such qualitity of an advice!!!

Rock bottom??? Was it on a porno DVD???

My Grandpa was alcoholist and I can tell you that there is no rock-bottom at all, the sooner you act the better it is (also for the health).

Only professionals (AA) can do something.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Have you been drinking too duke? Boons responce was resonable and going to a Temple here can help many people.Just because your grandfather was an "alcoholist" dosn't mean that everybody is the same!

OP, try taking a hidden video of him when he is drunk.If you show him it when he is sober, it might make him seek help.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Alchoolism is a srius/true sickness, unless inside the temple there is a AA branch .....

May be we should suggest this wife to ask her husband in Europe to seek for a Buddist temple (or a church) and pay a visit, ......

We are talking about his health and life, not his soul

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Boon Mee]

Man...never seen so many newbie posts w/out a clue in the whole history of TV...

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(Boon Mee @ 2005-05-30 07:58:56)

What's gotta happen is the guy (or gal) has to hit rock-bottom before there's any improvement.

One of the things I love about Thailand is when a man reckons he's "over the line", he checks himself into the local Wat for an extended stay.

I have a brother-in-law in this situation and he's happier now than he's ever been and doesn't plan to ever leave the Order.

What the ###### of advice is this?? This is a serius post and if you have nothing to say, don't screw the post!!!!

Yes now all the alcoholist in the church becoming monks and all the prostitutes becoming nuns!!! Such qualitity of an advice!!!

Rock bottom??? Was it on a porno DVD???

My Grandpa was alcoholist and I can tell you that there is no rock-bottom at all, the sooner you act the better it is (also for the health).

Only professionals (AA) can do something.

Boon Mee, good advice.

Duke69, there most certainly is a rock bottom for every alcoholic. Unfortunately, death, and instututions are many peoples. I am talking about alcoholics here, NOT heavy drinkers who can take it or leave it.

AA is not professional, but are generally accepted as leading the field in terms of success rate, although very low. I am not speaking for AA, btw.

There is a product available in two forms: pills to take (twice a day) and grafted under the skin, slowly dissolving in about 6 months to a year. Makes you violently ill when even sniffing acohol. In Belgium it is sold unter the name "antabuse". Check with your doctor.

My experience and many of my friends is that in the long term it doesn't work. I used to drink on top of antabuse.

I think your wrong its called "TOUGH LOVE" This lady can not go on like this she has to look after her own future well being and hapiness

That is what it is called. OP, I urge you to look for Al Anon meetings.

I know a Thai lady married to a recovering alcoholic in Denmark. If you want I can give you her telephone number. PM me.

your husband is a selfish man.

he chose the road he now finds himself travelling on.

if he wants to stop he will.

if he doesnt want to stop he wont.

he is responsible for the sorry state he is in.

i dont go much on counselling or sympathy for those addicted to alcohol , drugs or tobacco.

you married a weak man.

if he has will power and can appreciate and accept the support of a wife then he will stop.

This is the kind of attitude that stops people getting better as the think it is THEIR fault. It is NOT. Next time you have diahoerria Taxexile, try using your will-power to stop it.

[taxexile]

This is the kind of attitude that stops people getting better as the think it is THEIR fault. It is NOT.

then whose bleedin' fault is it ?

if i decide of my own free will to drink 2 bottles of whisky every day for the next year and my liver packs in , who's fault is it ?

if i become alcoholic , whos fault is it?

nobody is forcing me do it.

its my choice and i should take full responsibility for the consequences of my actions.

if i do it , its down to me if i become an alcoholic , and it will be down to me to get myself out of the gutter.

if a good friend or my wife wants to help me then good.

but if i reject that help and pick up a bottle again , then i cant moan should they leave me to rot.

i dont deserve any sympathy for self inflicted abuse and nobody deserves to suffer at my hands due to my selfish disregard for myself and others once that rot has taken hold.

as with anything in life , i should think hard before i take any course of action as to where that action might lead.

i'm sorry neerenram , i know from your previous postings that you had problems with drink and drugs , and thankfully you have overcome them. more power to you.

but had you thought on more , you would not have found yourself in the position you found yourself in in the first place.

addicts of substances , self administered , have NOBODY to blame but themselves.

it IS their fault.

[Erwin1011]

There is a product available in two forms: pills to take (twice a day) and grafted under the skin, slowly dissolving in about 6 months to a year. Makes you violently ill when even sniffing acohol. In Belgium it is sold unter the name "antabuse". Check with your doctor.

My experience and many of my friends is that in the long term it doesn't work. I used to drink on top of antabuse.

I can assure you that if you would be drinking on top of Antabuse on a regular basis, you would not be writing this post, unless you can do it from 6 feet under.

Antabuse creates extreme severe physical reactions and regular medical follow up is required. After the implant is done, most physicians will suggest to carry a notification with you that indicates you're under Antabuse treatment.

[gburns57au]

The one thing that everyone seems to have overlooked....You go on about AA and antabuse.....but before these can be looked at...... the husband has to admit he has a problem and wants help....that is something that only he can do...

If he doesnt admit to his problems and want to fix his problems then she should get out before he turns from verbal to physical abuse which is usually the next step in the process.

[chownah]

The one thing that everyone seems to have overlooked....You go on about AA and antabuse.....but before these can be looked at...... the husband has to admit he has a problem and wants help....that is something that only he can do...

If he doesnt admit to his problems and want to fix his problems then she should get out before he turns from verbal to physical abuse which is usually the next step in the process.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree completely. Let's get the husband on TV here to tell his side of the story. Can Mydrawingtable get the hubby to post? If he won't take this simple step to post on TV (should be easy with Mydrawingtable's help) then I say forget him. If he wants to wallow in his crapulance then what I do in a situation like this is go really far away to give him plenty of room to act out his feelings of self worth to his hearts content and I'd advice Myendtable to do the same.

I just noticed something. When typing in a response just below this window I"m typing in there are two boxes on is called Enable emoticons? The other is called Enable signature? For this topic there should be one called Enable the alcoholic?

Edited May 30, 2005 by chownah

[itsme]

this topic should be moved to Health and medicine, so that people with some knoledge and experience can give the right suggestion.

here we can get only (next??) a sicilian suggesting to take her hubby to Lourdes .......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What's wrong with sicilians going to Lourdes?

[Neeranam]

i'm sorry neerenram , i know from your previous postings that you had problems with drink and drugs , and thankfully you have overcome them. more power to you.

but had you thought on more , you would not have found yourself in the position you found yourself in in the first place.

addicts of substances , self administered , have NOBODY to blame but themselves.

it IS their fault.

Tax, didn't we have a similar argument before?

Let's agree to disagree.

There are many who say that alcoholism is a genetic "disease", and after drinking that first drink then it is downhill from there.

If you drink 2 bottles of scotch a day then you may become dependant on it, but that does not mean you will be an "alcoholic".

Alcoholism is described by some as a mental illness, including me.

Could you say the same for someone who has clinical depression, just get a grip you are a weak person? Could a strong-willed person with psychizophrenia will their disease away?

I can think of many strong-willed famous people that were alcoholics, afraid I can't name them for annonimity reasons. Most would say that they couldn't get better by themselves. I personally have never known an alcoholic to recover by themself through sheer will-power.

I can assure you that if you would be drinking on top of Antabuse on a regular basis, you would not be writing this post, unless you can do it from 6 feet under.

Antabuse creates extreme severe physical reactions and regular medical follow up is required. After the implant is done, most physicians will suggest to carry a notification with you that indicates you're under Antabuse treatment.

This is true. I don't know about the implants, but I used to take the pills and drank sometimes on them. Some people can die, luckily I didn't. I got a very very severe reaction, but my craving for a hit made me try.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I think the OP is a troll.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It might be a troll since the level of this English is too good for a Thai woman (no offence, sorry for the statement), but the argument is interesting and real.

When you have a person coming home totally drunk peeing in the drawer and vomiting on the fabric sofa, then you will understand what alchoolism really is!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

We don't know that she doesn't have to put up with that, and I don't think it is a troll post, but I think she should think about her happiness.

No kids involved and only a year into the relationship?

I think she's better off out, it's very selfish of him not to sort himself out just because she is living in his country and maybe he feels she won't leave because of this.

She's a smart woman, I doubt she'll have much of a problem finding a man who deserves her.

That's not to say he shouldn't be given a chance... I've drunk too much many times but I've alwways known when it's in danger of getting out of hand.

[Bizz]

We cannot tell you or your husband what you or he should do.

We can only suggest and speak from our own experiences.

Finding someone in ALAnon Get help for yourself everything will seem clearer.

Yes, your husband has to except that he is an alcoholic then and only then can he move forward.

Yes, he will need help but you also have to be selfish think of yourself first. You may have to leave him for him to come to his senses.

It is a long hard road.

God grant me the serenity to except the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

[sriracha john]

I think the OP is a troll.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

For chownah, I'm sure she's a troll and been waiting 19 months on TV just to trip you up and egg you on during your first month on TV.

Thanks for letting me know you agree with me. It means alot to me that someone with so many great posts under their belt will take their time to encourage me...a mere beginner here at TV.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The sarcasm of my agreement with you that she's a troll is only surpassed by my sarcasm that this is your first month on TV...

Most likely you have far more posts than I if one adds the total from your various past personalities.

Edited May 30, 2005 by sriracha john

[Bilko]

MyDrawingtable, I think you will be in for a hard time living with an alcoholic, if his drinking is really so out of control why should you suffer the consequences ?

He will have to come to terms with the fact that he has a severe problem, and if he wants to save his relationship with you, he will have to work on solving that problem.

It's up to him at the end of the day, if he does not want to stop drinking himself, it will be impossible for you to make him stop.

HE has to WANT to stop.

Edited May 31, 2005 by Bilko

[OxfordWill]

It might be a troll since the level of this English is too good for a Thai woman (no offence, sorry for the statement), but the argument is interesting and real.

When you have a person coming home totally drunk peeing in the drawer and vomiting on the fabric sofa, then you will understand what alchoolism really is!!

Come on Duke, don't show yourself up here. There are Thais who write our language far better than you or me. Oh, and they get married too.

[kreon]

i think its the plight of most farangs in europe, oz and the us

they come to thailand, have during their two weeks holiday, the time and woman of their life, and then have to go back to their drab apartments, rotten jobs, miserable life and weather, and then work for 50 weeks to save for their next two week holiday

you only have the see the sad french last sunday, viva bangkok and chardonney

to the op, come back to thailand and your senses

[taxexile]

Tax, didn't we have a similar argument before?

I have a lot of arguments here , sometimes its hard to keep track of them.

Let's agree to disagree.

I'll drink to that !!

[chownah]

It might be a troll since the level of this English is too good for a Thai woman (no offence, sorry for the statement), but the argument is interesting and real.

When you have a person coming home totally drunk peeing in the drawer and vomiting on the fabric sofa, then you will understand what alchoolism really is!!

Come on Duke, don't show yourself up here. There are Thais who write our language far better than you or me. Oh, and they get married too.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

William Shakespear had a style...and it was his own. It is almost impossible to copy his style in composing an article since it is uniquely his. Experts can spot the imposter...and usually quite easily. The OP has two styles!!!! One I think is real and the other is faked....I'll let the interested observer decide which is which.

[Neeranam]

When you have a person coming home totally drunk peeing in the drawer and vomiting on the fabric sofa, then you will understand what alchoolism really is!!

Come on Duke, don't show yourself up here. There are Thais who write our language far better than you or me. Oh, and they get married too.

William Shakespear had a style...and it was his own. It is almost impossible to copy his style in composing an article since it is uniquely his. Experts can spot the imposter...and usually quite easily. The OP has two styles!!!! One I think is real and the other is faked....I'll let the interested observer decide which is which.

Why does someone want to do this? They would have to be sick.

Edited May 31, 2005 by Neeranam

[OxfordWill]

No doubt you're right chownah, just object to the implication that a post might contain english that is 'too good for a Thai to have written.'

[chownah]

No doubt you're right chownah, just object to the implication that a post might contain english that is 'too good for a Thai to have written.'

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry! I misunderstood you....I'm with you totally.

[meadish_sweetball]

It might be a troll since the level of this English is too good for a Thai woman (no offence, sorry for the statement), but the argument is interesting and real.

When you have a person coming home totally drunk peeing in the drawer and vomiting on the fabric sofa, then you will understand what alchoolism really is!!

Come on Duke, don't show yourself up here. There are Thais who write our language far better than you or me. Oh, and they get married too.

William Shakespear had a style...and it was his own. It is almost impossible to copy his style in composing an article since it is uniquely his. Experts can spot the imposter...and usually quite easily. The OP has two styles!!!! One I think is real and the other is faked....I'll let the interested observer decide which is which.

Most current experts on Shakespeare agree that large portions of what is traditionally attributed to the Bard is actually the work of many, since that is how playwriting was carried out back in those days. I am sure you can find more information about this if you Google a bit.

[chownah]

It might be a troll since the level of this English is too good for a Thai woman (no offence, sorry for the statement), but the argument is interesting and real.

When you have a person coming home totally drunk peeing in the drawer and vomiting on the fabric sofa, then you will understand what alchoolism really is!!

Come on Duke, don't show yourself up here. There are Thais who write our language far better than you or me. Oh, and they get married too.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

William Shakespear had a style...and it was his own. It is almost impossible to copy his style in composing an article since it is uniquely his. Experts can spot the imposter...and usually quite easily. The OP has two styles!!!! One I think is real and the other is faked....I'll let the interested observer decide which is which.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Perhaps not the best example to drag up in this situation... I took some Shakespeare credits at Uni, and most current experts on Shakespeare agree that large portions of what is traditionally attributed to the Bard is actually the work of many, since that is how playwriting was carried out back in those days. I am sure you can find more information about this if you Google a bit.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Me thinks he doth protest too much!!! You are correct, sir! Many think Shakespeare never wrote a word!!! And some think it was all written by that other famous guy...what's his name? And how do they try to determine which things were written by others?....they analyze the style.....and it is variation in style that is the give away......just like in the original poster here....back on topic.

[sriracha john]

Ahhh... from Shakespeare to Sherlock now....

so just what is it that the forensic linguistics specialist has to say in this case??

Edited May 31, 2005 by sriracha john

[MP5]

It might be a troll since the level of this English is too good for a Thai woman (no offence, sorry for the statement), but the argument is interesting and real.

When you have a person coming home totally drunk peeing in the drawer and vomiting on the fabric sofa, then you will understand what alchoolism really is!!

Come on Duke, don't show yourself up here. There are Thais who write our language far better than you or me. Oh, and they get married too.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

William Shakespear had a style...and it was his own. It is almost impossible to copy his style in composing an article since it is uniquely his. Experts can spot the imposter...and usually quite easily. The OP has two styles!!!! One I think is real and the other is faked....I'll let the interested observer decide which is which.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Perhaps not the best example to drag up in this situation... I took some Shakespeare credits at Uni, and most current experts on Shakespeare agree that large portions of what is traditionally attributed to the Bard is actually the work of many, since that is how playwriting was carried out back in those days. I am sure you can find more information about this if you Google a bit.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Me thinks he doth protest too much!!! You are correct, sir! Many think Shakespeare never wrote a word!!! And some think it was all written by that other famous guy...what's his name? And how do they try to determine which things were written by others?....they analyze the style.....and it is variation in style that is the give away......just like in the original poster here....back on topic.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OK we had this discussion on the Pattaya forum. I am not passing judgement and I do agree AA is not the answer for every one and yes to solve any problem it has to identifed and admitted. So try this one:

Most drinkers do not have to think twice about this question.THEY KNOW! Is your whole life and thinking centered around your addiction in one form or another - always scheming and plotting to find ways to feed your addictions. Live to use and use to live. Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by a substance or action. People in the grip of a continuing and progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions, illness, poverty, and death.

Only you can decide if you have an addiction, and whether or not a 12 step recovery program can help you. The following questionnaire may help you make this decision. If you answer YES to four or may questions, you may have a problem that can be helped by the steps. See how you do. Remember that there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem!

Answer YES or NO to the following questions.

Substitute "drinking" for your addictive behavior.

1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?

Yes No

2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?

Yes No

3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?

Yes No

4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?

Yes No

5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?

Yes No

6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?

Yes No

7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?

Yes No

8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?

Yes No

9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?

Yes No

10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?

Yes No

11 - Do you have "blackouts"?

Yes No

12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?

Yes No

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What's your score?

Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably addicted. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in recovery have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves — the hard way.

But again, only you can decide whether you think a 12 step recovery program is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, there are many recovery organizations waiting to help you. Just call.

12 step programs do not promise to solve your life's problems. But they can show you how to learn to live without using "one day at a time."

AA is advertised on most local publications.

Don't please do the Drink and Drive or Ride routine

I like dancing on Funday. To be honest I stopped drinking to stop cigarettes. I was OK with out a smoke but as soon as I had a beer they just went hand in hand having acquired both habits at an early age. I just woke one day 3 years plus ago after another friend had died of a heart attack, my own mother from cancer. It was like hey do I wanna be around when the kids get married.

Smoking was the problem not the beer for me and I do genuinely feel and look better for it.

Well they still call out handsom man where you go.

I did go to an AA meeting twice the second time to resign

Sorry Mods it was so much easier to cut and paste from P to here. Can you get the pictures here for these guys? I'm sure they would love the alternative 12 step program!!