Can You Get Thai Friends?

[Delphy]

ChrisP, Thanks for your answer.. But where is Soi Cowboy? One more question.. when you walk pass someone, how do you know that he is gay or not? Is there any hint? How can I trace them?

Delphy

[ProThaiExpat]

I am not trying to answer for Chris as I am terrible at "cruising", which is what you allude to Delphy.

In western cultures, it is often said you can tell a gay man in passing as he will hold your gaze while a straight man will look away normally. Another gay who is not interested in you will look away very quickly so as not to give you the impression of interest.

In Thailand, I have no clue. It seems many hold my gaze but I think it is curiosity not an indication of their being gay. Help on this please!!!

[Ijustwannateach]

endure

Thank you

Ijustwannateach

Thanks for your suggestion, but I am proud of my Thai+Chinese blood. So I do not think I will take it off. If someone will love me, he must love me at what I am. It's a better idea that I give all useful information to let him make his right decision.

Delphy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just trying to offer practical advice based on how I would think, searching online. If you're having trouble meeting people based on your web presence, maybe you should emphasize different aspects of your character. Then once you get to meet them in person you can charm the pants off of them. The fewer barriers you make to that initial meeting, the better. It doesn't mean that your being Thai-Chinese remains a deep, dark secret forever- it just means you don't make that one of the factors in your first date. But, as they say, up to you!

"Steven"

[slapdashkitty]

Where to meet good guys..oh to answer that one would make you the richest queen in gaydom...

Missy they are out there...keep on kissing frogs and your prince will come...

And as for making friends it's EZ, SMS every guy you ever met online, buy a bunch-o-booze, and tell them to each bring a friend...

VOILA!

PM if you want an invite...sounds cute...

Edited July 31, 2005 by slapdashkitty

[Ariya]

endure

Thank you

Ijustwannateach

Thanks for your suggestion, but I am proud of my Thai+Chinese blood. So I do not think I will take it off. If someone will love me, he must love me at what I am. It's a better idea that I give all useful information to let him make his right decision.

Delphy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi Delphy,

I have been following this discussion with great interest. Being South Asian I have noticed that farangs, and we call them that in India and Pakistan because the word is of Urdu origen, generally go for the more uneducated type, sometimes because they are more readily available but also because they are reluctant to face guys who are on the same intellectual level, or higher, than themselves.

Once, a farang approached me because he had heard me speaking English simply to ask me to help him find "rough" boys who didn't know a word of English. He was willing to pay even though educated boys, who were much better looking, would cost him nothing. In fact, some of them would have taken him to dinner or to the cinema.

I think it is harder to find rough guys in Farangistan and this makes the Asian rough guy so desirable. Or do they get pleasure in being able to control someone who is on the lower rungs of the social ladder?

[Guest endure]

Or maybe they enjoy helping someone who is 'on the lower rungs of the social ladder' to climb that ladder a little?

[ChrisP]

^^ Hmm...

I'm not one of those Farangs... I'd be MORE than happy to let an educated cute Thai take me to dinner and a movie! (I'm not proud!!)

Btw, Soi Cowboy is somewhere in Sukhumvit, near Soi Nana, it's the hangout of the Straight Crowd....

Chris P

Mod

Edited August 6, 2005 by ChrisP

[ProThaiExpat]

Quote: Ariya

"Hi Delphy,

I have been following this discussion with great interest. Being South Asian I have noticed that falang and we call them that in India and Pakistan because the word is of Urdu origen, generally go for the more uneducated type, sometimes because they are more readily available but also because they are reluctant to face guys who are on the same intellectual level, or higher, than themselves.

Once, a farang approached me because he had heard me speaking English simply to ask me to help him find "rough" boys who didn't know a word of English. He was willing to pay even though educated boys, who were much better looking, would cost him nothing. In fact, some of them would have taken him to dinner or to the cinema.

I think it is harder to find rough guys in Farangistan and this makes the Asian rough guy so desirable. Or do they get pleasure in being able to control someone who is on the lower rungs of the social ladder?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

"

Let's see now, falang don't like your type because your more intelligent than they are and are not "rough" enough for their taste. Likewise, they look for Asian "rough" types because there are no "rough" types back home.

In reality, there is no accounting for peoples taste, whether they be falang or Asian.

INHO there are far more "rough" gays in western culture than in any Asian culture, hands down.

There are many reasons falang don't seek out "intelligent" "dinner taking" out Asians, but I submit that a falang, on vacation, looking for sexual encounter would not put "intelligence" very high on his criteria for a short term mate.

Many people, in general, who are of high intelligence themselves, do not put intelligence high on thier priority list in looking for a LTR, as they are interrestd in other things first. Looks, body, heart, compassion, caring, attitude, fidelity and all the other characteristics of human behaviour, that are not intelligence based, are sought before intelligence is even considered. As ChrisP pointed out, if intelligence is in the package, along with the other higher priority items, great.

My personal experience in the gay world over many years, has taught me that with intelligence, often comes attitude, in many cases, and it is not an attractive quality. Of course if the person is truly intelligent and not just intellectual, he would be smart enough to downplay this quality and emphasize the other qualities he has that most gays are looking for first.

There is someone out there for everyone, it is just a matter of finding them. Rather that make broad derogatory allegations about all falang which are clearly erroneous, sound very defensive in nature and based on your limited experience, I suggest you keep looking and trying to find your ideal mate, falang or Asian.

Edited August 7, 2005 by ProThaiExpat

[ProThaiExpat]

As I promised in post #3, here is an update.

After cancelling the first scheduled lunch meet on a Saturday, due to a "meeting", Ajarn must have been in a snit Thursday night during tennis, because the re-scheduled Saturday lunch date has gone by the wayside as did the original date.

Evidently, Ajarn was putting everyone at the tennis venue "down" according to my Thai and put my Thai down as well for making sounds of enjoyment and exclamation during play. While I know many serious tennis players who abhor any form of exclamation during play, unless your the better player on the court, you generally don't have much say as to the conduct of the far better player. My Thai is a far better player than Ajarn so Ajarn is really in no position to critisize unless he brings his off-court life onto the court, which is a no-no for most tennis players.

My Thai took offense to Ajarn's complaints and admonitions of my Thais conduct on the court and they now are not speaking to each other.

So much for my first effort to make a Thai friend who speaks English well and is of some status in Thai society.

I wonder how long my relationship would have lasted with Ajarn if we had met some time ago and were good friends and then my Thai and he got into it. Would I have been able to maintain a friendship, when my Thai partner was at odds with the other Thai?

Edited August 7, 2005 by ProThaiExpat

[cottmann]

Soi Cowboy is close to the intersection of Sukhumvit Road and Asoke Road, near the entrance to the MRT. It is just about 100 meters from the intersection and connects Asoke Road with Soi 23 Sukhumvit and runs parallel to Sukhumvit Road. It is all girlie bars, though.

[Totster]

Soi Cowboy is close to the intersection of Sukhumvit Road and Asoke Road, near the entrance to the MRT. It is just about 100 meters from the intersection and connects Asoke Road with Soi 23 Sukhumvit and runs parallel to Sukhumvit Road.  It is all girlie bars, though.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh, so that's where it is....

totster

[Delphy]

^^  Hmm...

I'm not one of those Farangs...  I'd be MORE than happy to let an educated cute Thai take me to dinner and a movie!  (I'm not proud!!) 

Btw, Soi Cowboy is somewhere in Sukhumvit, near Soi Nana, it's the hangout of the Straight Crowd....

Chris P

Mod

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ooopsss....I just threw two tickets away.. Perhaps they are still in a bin//

Thanks for telling where Soi Cowboy is.. Somedays I will go..

Karut

[ChrisP]

To the reverse of ProThaiExpat, I made a friend of a Farang in BKK who was already known by my Thai bf (and seemingly disliked by him too).

When I expressed that I was going for dinner with him, my Thai dragged out all the negative feelings, stories and epithets he could find.. and became somewhat moody about the whole issue. I still went. When I returned, my Thai asked some basic questions about the evening.. then dropped the topic.

I think he's accepted it. It doesn't suit him, but then I don't choose his friends either.

ChrisP

Edited August 8, 2005 by ChrisP

[Ijustwannateach]

Regarding intelligence and dating:

Very often a high level of intelligence means that ideas become very important to a person. If two persons with high intelligence but different ideas get together, the results are not so good. Furthermore, people are usually looking for things in a dating partner that they cannot supply for themselves or through their friends, and intelligent people generally have arranged for themselves to have a crowd of intelligent friends. Intelligence would not be the highest item on the list for a partner for them.

Fortunately, one can have integrity, be funny, be warm, loving, honest, friendly, and competent, all without having a particularly high level of book learning or academic-style intelligence. Add in good looks and why do you need them to have a big brain?

"Steven"

[ProThaiExpat]

So much better said than I, IJWT. Thanks

[ChrisP]

Wow.. I agree.

IJWT, you should write a book on this stuff...!

ChrisP