Half Thai Children

[seonai]

Hi, I am a farang married to a Thai man for a second time !!!! Are there any other, especially British, women out there in the same position who are able to chat about our children's status here, education, divorce to a Thai man, remarriage etc etc etc ?

Totally open to hearing from farang men too of course, who have Luk Krueng children/mixed race children and are having probs with an ex spouse or girlfriend regarding their kids.

SC

[Boo]

This is a interesting subject. I myself am British & married with a thai man & although we don't yet have children we have talked about what would happen to them if one of us should die or if we split up in the future. Does anyone know how strong a signed legal agreement between a man & wife on future custody of children would be between a foreign women & a thai men in LOS?

[seonai]

Hi Boo,

Thanks for replying. I am quite new to this forum so excuse me if I don't get it right. What is LOS - oh, Land of Smiles ?????

Well I can tell you that it's quite a difficult thing having children as a farang here. That is if you split with your partner or whatever. I've been here years and years and still can't fathom it out cos the Thai 'mai pen rai' thing prevails. I have one son aged 10 now and I'm still having enormous problems with his father.

One interesting and astounding topic is the British Embassy.

I brought up my son in London and Thailand myself until he was 8. Then his Thai father abducted him. I didn't see him for two years and no one would/could help us.

When he abducted him, his Thai father took his British passport. The British embassy then told me that to cancel a passpoet or make a new one..... I needed the Thai father's signature !!!!!! So My son is a virtual prisoner here.

There's more. Let me know if you want to raise any other issues. I'm still working it out.

My son is now back with me after two years in Issan with his father's family.

His father never lived with him nor provided for him in the two year period. I took him back about 4 months ago for his own wellbeing and his future.

SC

[seonai]

Boo,

Another interesting topic would be to dicuss the reality of being married to a Thai man. I don't know about you but I certainly have had to give up a lot of my own personality to fit in. Are there any other women out there who have stories to tell about rels with Thai guys? Oh and can we exclude flings please....... boring.

Sc

[Vit42]

SC, I hate to relate a similar story to you ladies but be forewarned. Whatever rules, laws, regulations are in place, when dealing with custody by parents of two different nationalities (not just Thailand), there’s bound to be trouble if there is a battle over the kids and the parents aren’t being amicable.

The story: my good friend, half-thai and half-american, went through a terrible ordeal. Her thai dad was married to her mom in the u.s. They decided to split and things got ugly to the point that the dad took her without permission to live in Thailand. Call it love or spite, she ended up growing up in Thailand without her mom. The mom tried in vain to get her back but eventually suffered in depression. The daughter came back to the u.s. but could never recover the relationship with the mom. All lives were messed up and still are.

Lesson learned? Be careful who you have children with cause if things go sour, it’s the children who could suffer even more. And remember, enforcing rules for family disputes is difficult enough in one country and almost impossible across borders.

SC, you're very lucky to get your boy back, how did you do it? Keep hold of him tight and best of luck to you.

P.S. not all thai guys are that bad, at least that's what my wife tells me!

[wolf5370]

[Edit: Sorry was refering to the "Does anyone know how strong a signed legal agreement between a man & wife on future custody of children would be between a foreign women & a thai men in LOS?" question from Boo - posts came in so thick and fast, it made it 4 posts down!]

Probably worth as much as it would be in the UK. Hardly the price of the paper.

In the UK the court (if a custody hearing) will over rule and often generally ignore such 'contracts' as they are not pertininat to children (in the same way you can't leave your children to someone legally in a will - well you could try, but it would merely signify your preferance at the time of writing and would hold no legal weight).

In the UK the couple would be sent to mediation and the kids would almost invariably be given to the female party (if they are too young to decide themsleves, that is). Family councilors would make a pointless report to the court as part of this process.

Kids are not furniture or savings accounts.

In LoS I have heard of Thai men making such things very difficult for women, especially when they are with another partner - even after divorce. Of course, its only these stories we ever hear, not the amicable ones. As always in these sort of things, see a lawyer for advice (preferably before you go ahead with any action - even the divorce - so you can prepare yourself legally to make things easier).

Edited August 3, 2005 by wolf5370

[seonai]

Thanks Wolf and Vit for your comments all very valid. I got my son back by talking directly to the family. They realised, probablt for financial reasons, that my son would benifit from being with me, his mother. I don't have much money so I could not enlist the help of a lawyer. I did consult several, all of them said about two yeras of court fighting to get your son back.

In the end, because my son is 10 now, I asked him by telephone what HE wanted and he wanted to be with me. So I took planes, buses, motorbike taxis and boats and I went to get him.

But now his status in Thailand is dodgy. He's registered as British as I gave birth in London. But there are problems with the school. He has been in Thai schools nearly three years.

It's very hard, as a Mum who is trying to look after the best interests of her son. to be in this situation.

And.... going back to Uk????? No way am I going to be a single parent of a mixed race son there again. Not easy stuff.

Thanks guys for your comments and support.

SC

[cmsally]

Sorry it sounds like a tricky situation but as the child of a UK mother and Thai father he should get both nationalities.

In a Thai school he needs documentation to get his certificate for passing Prathom 6 level, so better sorted out sooner than later.

I suppose to renew the UK passport your husband needs to sign as you are not divorced??

Logically it would be better to sort out the Thai nationality before you get divorced (unless you already are).

The UK part should be no problem but I imagine they need to either see proof of divorce or fathers papers and signature.

I presume you have no Thai birth certificate which would be required to put him on a Tabien Bahn. One possible option might be a combination of UK birth certificate (with father's name) and a letter provided by the district chief/headman/kamnan whatever where he lives signed saying the father is Mr... of ... address etc.

Might work I don't know, I'll try and ask someone who might know more and get back to you.

[seonai]

Hi CM Sally,

I'd really appreciate that if you do findout more please let me know. For the record, I divorced in Scotland in 1998 or so. The exhusband is now resident in UK and non communicative.

Does anyone know about divorce..... I married in BKK in 1994 and divorced in UK. So am I divorced here???????

Seonai

[cmsally]

Sorry , only just caught up with this thread. I can't see there being a problem with UK Embassy on passports as proving nationality is not a problem. Their problem seems to be with parental responsibility which normally rests with father under UK law.

You need to approach them from the angle , only mother has parental responsibility what does she need to prove it. Often with this paperwork stuff the person you are dealing with doesn't know fine details and you have to get ahead of them to produce something constructive. Tell them you know father normally has parental responsibility but not in your case. Ask them what extras they need to be able to issue new passport.

You also need to make it clear you have made every effort to retrieve old passport but cannot.

The Thai one sounds trickier. Does your son have a Thai birth certificate. Is he on a Tabien bahn? You may need officials in husbands home district to sign . If you don't have documentation that is the normal way to go but can be very difficult. Were you married under Thai law at time of birth.

[uncle paul]

get son back to the uk and get him made a ward of court. this way he cant be taken out of the country without x husband being liable to prosecution