What Age Is The Right Age?

[mrbojangles]

A post someone made earlier today (I’ll protect the innocent) got me thinking about a situation that my mother and father told us about when I was younger.

My Father was 17 and my Mother was 16 and they had an accident, resulting in my Sister being born 9 months later. I always remember my father complaining about how stupid the Law is (this is UK related law) that they where old enough to have sex but not old enough to go to the cinema and watch it. They where old enough to get married (with parents consent) but not old enough to celebrate their wedding with a drink (UK Law 18 years old). They where old enough to go out and work and pay taxes but not old enough to have any say (voting) in how the country was run.

So my question is – What age, is the right age, to be given a right of say or to be taken seriously? This could range from, when is it right to expose your children to the “facts of life” to “what should be the age of consent” to “when should you be able to vote” etc.

Here on TV there is a wealth of knowledge, across many cultures and languages and across a huge age span. I feel that listening to others points of view, as well as making your own, can lead to very useful “food for thought” when making decisions in life.

I feel that this may get many different and sometimes conflicting, views, so can I suggest some rules.

This is an “adult” DEBATE and so:-

Keep the views constructive

Don’t take peoples views personal

Don’t make personal attacks on views you don’t agree with

MrBoJ

[zaz]

Well I'm a bit old fashioned and as far as kids and nooky is concerned I think they should not even have sx before marriage anyway. However, it's all down to how responsibly the child either learns about it or is taught it.

I certainly don't think teenagers are mature or responsible enough to have children and therefore shouldn't even expose themselves to the risk of having them. Some adults can't cope with children never mind teenagers.

With regards to voting rights I think the age of voting should perhaps be brought down to 16. Kids are begining to think about the real world at that age and should be more involved in politics.

Appropriate ages for marriage etc difficult to say, depends on how ready they feel but again shouldn't be exposed to the risk of ruining their lives.

Kids are so varied in their adolescence it's very difficult to apply a standard to suit them all.

[meom]

Depends the circumstances. I took the 10 yr old that pointed a gun at me more seriously than the sixty year old shouting his mouth off.

[loong]

So my question is – What age, is the right age, to be given a right of say or to be taken seriously?

I'm not sure we are ever really mature and knowledgable enough.

Kids start to form their opinions at a fairly early age, but the age of maturity varies from person to person. So I don't believe that maturity can be measured in years.

I would say that on average, 18 years old is a good median.

[britmaveric]

Everyone matures at different ages - I say you need to take it on a case by case basis.

[mrbojangles]

Everyone matures at different ages - I say you need to take it on a case by case basis.

I agree with that Brit and in the case of telling your own children about the "bird's and the bees" it's down to you when you do it, although they teach it in schools when the Educational system says so.

But how do you set rules to for everyone on a case by case basis. i.e. everyone can have sex at 16 and have a drink at 18 etc.

[BambinA]

So my question is – What age, is the right age, to be given a right of say or to be taken seriously? This could range from, when is it right to expose your children to the “facts of life” to “what should be the age of consent” to “when should you be able to vote” etc.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

IMHO , methinks .. the appropriate age is 18 y/o up ... i think that people who have 18 yo up is starting to be "mature" and if they study(in school) mean they know much enough to know how to live in this world ,

for younger age than that , it has fluent of homonal change ..and make emotional not constant enuf ..it's between teenager and adult .. and there are many things in body changed that have some effect to emotional status

anyhow, flash back when i was teenager ..15-17 yo .. i thought im mature enuf and never understand why family (and other older people) thought i still be a baby ..

for now when i look back, i agree with them ... that time i was a silly teenager indeed .. lack of potential decision...and mood leads reason

BTW i found that , some teenagers who are younger than 18 yo ... they are mature too (depends on experience,family,resposible,education, ervironment,IQ,EQ ...etc)

Bambi

ps.. in my family's eye i still be a baby for them even im 32 already

Bambi

[zaz]

ps.. in  my family's eye i still be  a  baby for them even im 32 already

Bambi

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow Bambi you don't look 32.....

[mrbojangles]

So my question is – What age, is the right age, to be given a right of say or to be taken seriously? This could range from, when is it right to expose your children to the “facts of life” to “what should be the age of consent” to “when should you be able to vote” etc.

IMHO , methinks .. the appropriate age is 18 y/o up ... i think that people who have 18 yo up is starting to be "mature" and if they study(in school) mean they know much enough to know how to live in this world ,

for younger age than that , it has fluent of homonal change ..and make emotional not constant enuf ..it's between teenager and adult .. and there are many things in body changed that have some effect to emotional status

anyhow, flash back when i was teenager ..15-17 yo .. i thought im mature enuf and never understand why family (and other older people) thought i still be a baby ..

for now when i look back, i agree with them ... that time i was a silly teenager indeed .. lack of potential decision...and mood leads reason

BTW i found that , some teenagers who are younger than 18 yo ... they are mature too (depends on experience,family,resposible,education, ervironment,IQ,EQ ...etc)

Bambi

ps.. in my family's eye i still be a baby for them even im 32 already

Bambi

Some good points there Bambi, as usual especially the one's highlighted in red. I remember my parents not letting my older sister do lots of things, like going on holiday with her friends, until she was about 19 or 20. However, they let me go with my friends when i was 16.

edit/ change of font colour

Edited August 25, 2005 by mrbojangles

[BambinA]

Wow Bambi you don't look 32.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

look like 80's?

bambi

[AmeriThai]

Some kids may be more mature physically, mentally and emotionally than others, but those may be exceptions to the rule, so to speak. However, most haven't reached those levels of full maturity. To be fair, maybe no one else does either. But because most are not fully developed, a standard of thought as to 'how old is old enough' is established by certain societies.

Just because a kid is able to have sex and reproduce doesn't necessarily mean they're ready or mature enough to take on the responsibilities that can go along with it.

Lemme give an example. In the US, many States allow kids to have a drivers licence at the age of 16. Insurance rates are very high for kids because the rate of accidents is much higher. Part of that has to do with decisions and reactions. At teen ages, hormonal levels are surging through them at full force. That seems to have an effect on how kids make decisions which sometimes aren't always the best decisions. Driving requires more experience in taking certain precautions. So lack of experience combined with high levels of hormones can be risky for driving.

As for voting, a lot depends on knowledge and experience. Although kids today are certainly a lot smarter than ever before, most are still in the stages of development. Still, they do have opinions and they do need to exercise their experiences at some point.

I don't think there's a magic age that's right. It really depends on the level of maturity of the individuals. For some, maybe 14 is reasonable. For others, maybe 24 is still not reasonable. Somewhere along the line a reasonable average has to be found which is why certain ages are established for various 'rites of passage into adulthood'. But again, there may be exceptions. But I don't know if it would be fair to say it's okay for all because then the majority would be excluded. Establishing certain ages is a way to cover all the bases in a legal or socially acceptable sense. That doesn't mean it's always right, but I don't know of any other way that would be fair to all.

[BambinA]

anyhow believe me one thing ..even we are 50-60's ..if our parents (and other older relatives) still alive

we re always BABY for them

Bambi

[mrbojangles]

Some kids may be more mature physically, mentally and emotionally than others, but those may be exceptions to the rule, so to speak. However, most haven't reached those levels of full maturity. To be fair, maybe no one else does either. But because most are not fully developed, a standard of thought as to 'how old is old enough' is established by certain societies.

Just because a kid is able to have sex and reproduce doesn't necessarily mean they're ready or mature enough to take on the responsibilities that can go along with it.

Lemme give an example. In the US, many States allow kids to have a drivers licence at the age of 16. Insurance rates are very high for kids because the rate of accidents is much higher. Part of that has to do with decisions and reactions. At teen ages, hormonal levels are surging through them at full force. That seems to have an effect on how kids make decisions which sometimes aren't always the best decisions. Driving requires more experience in taking certain precautions. So lack of experience combined with high levels of hormones can be risky for driving.

As for voting, a lot depends on knowledge and experience. Although kids today are certainly a lot smarter than ever before, most are still in the stages of development. Still, they do have opinions and they do need to exercise their experiences at some point.

I don't think there's a magic age that's right. It really depends on the level of maturity of the individuals. For some, maybe 14 is reasonable. For others, maybe 24 is still not reasonable. Somewhere along the line a reasonable average has to be found which is why certain ages are established for various 'rites of passage into adulthood'. But again, there may be exceptions. But I don't know if it would be fair to say it's okay for all because then the majority would be excluded. Establishing certain ages is a way to cover all the bases in a legal or socially acceptable sense. That doesn't mean it's always right, but I don't know of any other way that would be fair to all.

Excellent, balanced post Amerithai

Although it's early days, as far as posts are concerned. There seems to be an opinion building that the age of voting could be brought down, as teenagers are more, shall we say "smarter and worldly".

[britmaveric]

Everyone matures at different ages - I say you need to take it on a case by case basis.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with that Brit and in the case of telling your own children about the "bird's and the bees" it's down to you when you do it, although they teach it in schools when the Educational system says so.

But how do you set rules to for everyone on a case by case basis. i.e. everyone can have sex at 16 and have a drink at 18 etc.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

MrBoJ: I know lads in their 40(s) and 50(s) that act no better than children. So its safe to say I'll stick with the case by case basis.

Sex- think basically as long as you can handle the responsibilties that go along with shagging than 16 or so would be a faire age. (stds, pregnancy, emotional hangups)

[Ice Maiden]

I agree with the majority that have said different people mature at different ages. That is right. It also depends on the enviroment in which you grew up in (like Bambi said). In some cases a young person can be given alot of education but it depends on how the person uses it and also the views and opinions of that person come into play as well.

A fellow college student my age has just as much education as myself but dosen't know a great deal about "The Real World" as you adults like to call it. And her opinions on "The Real World" basically imply it's easy and she could do it too. IMO that is being immature and ignorant because she knows nothing about that. It just goes to show that education alone can not determine the maturity of somebody. But myself on the other hand knows quite a deal more because of the situation I've been in aswell as education. But life is a constant learning process and we are all getting more mature as time goes on and the different obstacles we face help us mature on the way.

So deciding what age is right is a hard one.

[meom]

...

So deciding what age is right is a hard one.

Wouldn't worry 'bout that if I were you. With viagra any age can get hard one these days.

[mrbojangles]

MrBoJ: I know lads in their 40(s) and 50(s) that act no better than children. So its safe to say I'll stick with the case by case basis.

Yep, 100% agree Brit

But life is a constant learning process and we are all getting more mature as time goes on and the different obstacles we face help us mature on the way.

Good points made Icey.

I've just been thinking about this point of everyone develops at different rates and case by case basis.

Don't beat me up too much for this, as it's off the top of my head, and i haven't thought about how it would be implemented etc. It's more of a brainstorming idea, than a well thought through one.

How do you think something like a "Maturity Psychometric" test would work? Kids take exams regularly from a young age, so it wouldn't be too much for them to do one extra. They could take the test and when they have passed, it makes them eligable for the next step in maturity and resposibility. i.e. voting, drinking etc. ID cards are becoming commonplace the world over and the "chip" or "check box" could carry the information, that the holder is considered responsible enough to vote and drink and watch adult movies etc?

Comments?

[daleyboy]

Judging by some of the recent posts on here, unless you are aged over 70 you cannot possibly make any valid points or comments, because we are just not worthy. What i think is the real reason behind this thinking is jealousy, that when these certain people were younger they werent allowed to have their own opinions so therefore they must berate the younger members on here because thay have their own points of view.

[Ice Maiden]

Good idea Mrboj.

But the only thing I was thinking is if immature young people realise all they had to do was act mature enough on a piece of paper and they'd get a ticket to drinking maybe that would influence their answers to get the answer they wanted?

But on your test idea surely there must be some way in which we can tell a mature person from someone who is trying to be mature?

[mrbojangles]

Good idea Mrboj.

But the only thing I was thinking is if immature young people realise all they had to do was act mature enough on a piece of paper and they'd get a ticket to drinking maybe that would influence their answers to get the answer they wanted?

But on your test idea surely there must be some way in which we can tell a mature person from someone who is trying to be mature?

Your right Icey, that you wouldn't want immature people "revising" the right answer in order to pass. I've had to take these kinds of tests to get various positions in Management and they're pretty hard to fool. Although, to my knowledge there isn't one based on "Maturity". The thing about this type of test is that, there isn't any right or wrong answer, they're just about how you view things or react in certain instances and the questions are really obscure

[Guest endure]

As the law stands in the UK it's legal for two 16 year olds (of any sex) to have sex with each other. If they're caught with a photograph of this sexual act they can be imprisoned and put on the sex offender's register

[Davey]

I would be inclined to agree with Britmaveric on this, you cannot treat every individual the same. However, having such laws like being 18 year old to drink is the only viable option. unfortuneately we cannot have 'maturity tests' to determine whether or not you should be allowed to drink, or capable of voting etc. It's just not feasible.

I think with experience comes maturity. The rate at which you experience different things depends totally on the individual and their own unique circumstances, certainly not on their age.

Being only 18 myself I'm certainly not the most qualified to talk about maturation, although some may find that to be a contradiction of the above?

[Chickenlegs]

So my question is – What age, is the right age, to be given a right of say or to be taken seriously? This could range from, when is it right to expose your children to the “facts of life” to “what should be the age of consent” to “when should you be able to vote” etc.

MrBoJ

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

IMHO – children and adults of all ages should have the right to speak and be listened to and taken seriously. That is not to say that children should be given everything they ask for, but they should know that they are not less important just because of their age.

As for the facts of life – in my experience (two grown up children) children are curious about how babies are made from a very early stage, especially when mum, or auntie etc. is expecting. I think it is a good thing to explain in honest terms, but using appropriate language that they will understand and will not confuse or scare them. As they get older and start to worry about changes to their bodies and feelings towards others they will at least understand that this is normal.

I think the age of consent in the UK (16Yrs) is about right. Not that I would encourage teenagers to be sexually active, but I just don’t know how you could stop them (remember how strong your desires were at that age). At least the 16 yr limit helps protect (particularly girls) from sexual predators.

The voting age should be lowered to 16 on the basis that they should be entitled to their say if they are already old enough to be working and paying taxes. The only worry is that so few UK citizens bother to vote nowadays that if all the 16-18 year olds went to the polling stations they could easily be the majority and elect Eminem or Westlife as Prime Minister (or worse - Tony Blair again).

[mrbojangles]

Being only 18 myself I'm certainly not the most qualified to talk about maturation,

That's where IMHO, i think your wrong Davey, the rest of your post shows great maturity and the fact that your in the midst of the, shall we say "transition", probably makes your "voice" just as valid, if not more, than anyone elses. In my last job, i was in charge of 200 people ( i didn't realise it then but i miss it now). I had a layer of Managers below me and then the shop floor workers. Where do you think i went, when i wanted to ask about process improvements? To the people who do the job at the "coal face"and the people who know the day to day workings of the process. Your at that "coal face" in regards to this discussion, so your views are more than welcome.

[mrbojangles]

The only worry is that so few UK citizens bother to vote nowadays that if all the 16-18 year olds went to the polling stations they could easily be the majority and elect Eminem or Westlife as Prime Minister (or worse - Tony Blair again).

Good point

[SiamOne]

Everyone matures at different ages - I say you need to take it on a case by case basis.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

exactly! so the question cannot have an answer, it depends on the person

everyone has different experiences, has different brain and way of appreciating those experiences,

I know young girls who are ready, both emotionally and physically, for sexual relations, and older ones who are not

same goes for any "adult" activity, drinking, gambling, marriage etc

dont try to generalise and average people, it doen't work

[SiamOne]

How do you think something like a "Maturity Psychometric" test would work? Kids take exams regularly from a young age, so it wouldn't be too much for them to do one extra. Comments?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

like any test (IQ test etc) it is debatable what exactly you are measuring

something like maturity is not easily pinned down

[Nickerelastic]

Agreed there's no point in generalising.

[mrbojangles]

How do you think something like a "Maturity Psychometric" test would work? Kids take exams regularly from a young age, so it wouldn't be too much for them to do one extra. Comments?

something like maturity is not easily pinned down

I agree, it isn't easily pinned down but Governments all over the world do exactly that but differently. For instance why is the legal age for drinking in Thailand 20, when the legal age for drinking in England is 18?

Out of interest, can you post on here what the legal ages are for the following in their country of origin. I will start with English laws.

Age for drinking (alcohol) = 18

Age of consent = 16

Eligable to Vote = 18

[BambinA]

Out of interest, can you post on here what the legal ages are for the following in their country of origin. I will start with English laws.

Age for drinking (alcohol) = 18

Age of consent = 16

Eligable to Vote = 18

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

THAI

Age for drinking (alcohol) = 20

Age of consent = 17

Eligable to Vote = 18

Age of consent* in Thai's law people who have age 17-20 , are not reaching to the one's majority yet ..so if they want to marry , they need to be allowed from Parents before

Bambi