Western Women Are Happier Blind?

[sanmig]

Women say that western men who have sex in Thailand can’t get it at home.

The reason why women rarely write in web forums is that women generally are too lazy to learn how to talk. The want to be seen as contributing more than competing, and this deadens their critical instincts.

It isn't that men are a rough and tumble bunch. It is that women use words as if they were similar to make-up. When in the course of conversation the make-up is forcefully removed, the woman, unused to the indignity of being publicly exposed, forgets that she is supposed to have a there there, something to actually say, something to actually be. Women generally only post a few times on any web forum. They prefer chat rooms.

Perhaps you've heard that women are meant to be linguistically and socially superior. Like young teens are superior at filling up the vacuum in their life with skill at video games. Skill at gossip is only useful to sell a product or to win an election. It isn’t a useful life skill.

Gossip is the skill of manipulating opinion. Gossip is a political TV commercial. Conversation is the skill of tearing down ideas that are inconsistent with experience and building up new ideas and ways to see the world. Conversation requires seeing behind what you want other’s to agree with to see if there is a there there, and that requires being publicly wrong and having commitment to truth more that to image. Substance and novelty over feeling good about oneself. Conversation loves the beauty of argument and competition; it comes from the feelings in the heart of longing for truth, and the thrill of the search for it. Being wrong feels good, showing someone else as wrong feels good, as both are the same movement towards uncovering something real. Gossip loves the beauty of someone being better than someone else.

The Philippines is to gossip as China is to manufacture. It is the point and purpose of the country. Women forever lying to each other, trying to gain some social position over each other by tearing each other down. It is not a culture ready for self examination, because anything you say can and will be used against you.

---"Perhaps someone can answer me without resorting to all the "fat, white, demanding western women" clichés? Face it guys, you aren't exactly "Brad Pitt meets Mahatma Gandhi" yourselves you know!! Chances are if you're a sad old git at home, you'll be a sad old git in Thailand."

Why must every woman, when faced with the fact of men having sex in Thailand, view the whole group as unattractive? It's like thinking that motorcycles are loud, because the only motorcycles you notice are the ones that annoy you. There are many attractive men having sex in Thailand. All ages and all ranges of attractiveness are represented. There are many more young, fit, and attractive westerners having sex in Thailand than there are the old and ugly.

But so what? Are the old and ugly supposed to hide indoors, unfit to be publicly exposed as having the same sexual interests as the attractive? What, exactly, is the argument against the fat and ugly having attractive dates? Is it wrong? Does it hurt your sensibilities?

To women who have a problem with men having sex in Thailand, please don't berate them for being old or balding. Like the many sight gags in movies of men being hit in the balls, the reference to being ugly is not humorous, it is in bad taste. Like making fun of a woman's big feet. Choose something specific to hate that is worth hating. Ugliness is a poor cause.

Yes, it is easier for westerners to find sex partners in Asia. Don't feel left out, many older western women go to Bali for the same reason. Although many of us can and do find women to date in the west, we still have sex in Asia. But what if someone who can't find a date in the west comes here for intimacy? I do know one fat loser who is so socially inept that he has to pay for sex. Although many would gladly marry a fat man, and he wants a relationship, he can't maintain a woman's interest. So he pays. So what. He knows he is paying, why bother "informing" the losers that they are losers? They know it as well as you. Painting all men who have sex in Asia as having smelly armpits is mean spirited. Ugly losers know how to bathe, and they are aware that they are paying for sex.

The young guys scoring with new women every night are a different story.

I met a thirty-two year old fellow last night at the local disco in Cebu, Philippines who had the poor judgment to have thinning hair. In three weeks he had gathered 120 phone numbers and who knows how many bed partners. He seemed enthused, but listening to him made me feel empty and sad inside. Sex if fun partly because it brings people closer. If he is having fun getting close, why doesn't he follow through and spend more time with someone? I can understand 10 or 20 flings as fun, but eventually most of us want a more meaty connection. He told me that he had spent 4 hours that day having sex. Good on him! A man after my own heart! Then I heard he had used Viagra. Wow. He's only thirty two. I had sex for more than four hours a day with my girlfriend for the first three months of our connection, because of passion and sexual chemistry. To use drugs to keep a hard-on seems like raising the dead into the un-dead. Why bother? In one breath he let out how great it was that he could get so many women, in the next he told me that he was by now sick of pussy and needed a break. Serious disconnect between speech and heart, and I think also between dick and heart. What is he looking for, and is he finding it if he has to use Viagra? Viagra isn't a performance enhancer, it just makes your dick hard. He said the women love it, but I can't see how that could be. If he isn't naturally passionate, but has a hard dick, that is only superficially sex. Superficial sex, isn't passionate sex. Next please! Why? I can't believe he is as enthused as he was claiming. I became sad listening to his happiness.

He was recently divorced. I guess he'll figure out his bodies needs eventually. But with Viagra in him, I can't see how he can be sensitive to his own feelings. Treating himself like a machine. Push this button for fun, this one for sleep, this one for sex. I would guess that such a lifestyle would tend to deaden his sexual responses more than free them.

That kind of attitude is worth demeaning men, and women for. Being ugly is not. Being fat, maybe.

---"One last thing guys; there's a VERY fine line between bedding a 19 year old bargirl (whoremonger) and bedding a 13 year old girl (pedophile). Let's hope most of you are the former because there most definitely is something awry with a 60 year old banging a 20 year old, and that goes for both sexes. "

When I was in my early twenties I tended to date women over 40. There was not anything definitely awry. Now that I am pushing forty I tend to date women in their early twenties. There is still not anything definitely awry. People choose their priorities, consciously or not. At my age a very attractive sexpot holds more interest than an older woman with something to say. So? Do you resemble that remark? Does the sight of an older unattractive man with a sexpot somehow slight you? Some of us choose youth, and some of us choose age. No one is holding a gun to anyone’s head. You might be surprised at how various the sexual inclinations of both men and women are. Plenty of young women also enjoy the attentions of an older man, just as plenty of young men also enjoy the attentions of an older woman. My poor neighbors, having to put up with screams of "Daddy, oh Daddy" from my Thai girlfriends. When in Thailand I dated a 19 year old for about eight months, up until I left. She had been a virgin when we met. It was a great loving relationship, a treasure. There was never any money involved, nor expectation of any kind of long term return such as marriage. My head is balding. Any objections? A dirty old man is just a guy who is getting more youthful sex than you are. I'm proud to maintain a high sex drive into this age, and will do so as long as I can.

There are many reasons that westerners find it easy to find sex partners and life partners in Asia. The Hollywood effect and infatuation with western features, novelty, the allure of an experienced and traveled male, the chance to be entertained, we have bigger dicks and are better lovers, money. Rich Asians will date poor westerners, just for kicks, and a motivated man can easily have one or more girlfriends of any class to whom he never gives a dime. Anything is possible, and everything happens. To constantly bring up the image of the fat smelly German at the beer bar who thinks he’s all that is propaganda that dehumanizes.

Men get conned in Thailand. We get conned in the west too, only there it is invisible to us until after the divorce settlement. Unless you travel, it’s hard to even notice all the little expectations that are placed on us that we take on, in order to be a “real” man. In Asia a man has a chance to try to re-define himself. Say no. No, no thanks, no marriage. No kids. No monogamy. Or to say yes. Getting conned is part of the game, and just because a man hasn’t learned the game, doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

How else to learn? Stay at home? Smacking up against a different culture is a great way to smack up against yourself. One of my girlfriends, Sa, conned me for a year, saying she had only ever had one other lover, all the while stringing on several. I still miss her sometimes. I know myself, women, and the world better for how we mis-treated each other, and now my priorities are just that little bit more refined. We come here and dive right into the deep end. What other choice is there? Getting ######ed over, hit on the head, crapped on, for some of us, it’s the only way to get through our thick heads. We learn to see more clearly, penetrate into the heart of things that much deeper, and even to love people better, through experience.

Mature women who see men choose young Asian hotties might feel unwanted and insecure, passed over, but don’t let that emotion cloud your thinking. Men have sex in Asia. All sorts and for all reasons. Not just fat German losers, but even the fat German losers are here for a reason. Maybe, we just might live a decent life through our decadence and learn something. It’s not a bad option to try. Not bad at all.

[Braccobaldo]

...wow, so long...your start was "women say that western men who have sex in Thailand can't get it at home"...well...this is even true...

[soi lurker]

Everyone has an opinion, i found myself getting lost in yours.........but i found valid points as well.....

[RamdomChances]

sanmig

Did you actuall write all that or is it just a cut and paste, usually people give the source.

[sriracha john]

A long, rambling, non-sensical, San Miguel (sanmig?) beer-fueled, illogical, diatribe for a first post...

LOL....

a perfect addition to the thaivisa family

[siamesekitty]

Um, okay. If you say so.

[Firefan]

My head is still spinning from trying to read that....

[gintOnic]

My head is still spinning from trying to read that....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I assume you have done reading the post - could you help to summarize them in to one line for me?

gintOnic

[siamesekitty]

could you help to summarize them in to one line for me? 

gintOnic

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

"Shut up and let us dirty old men boink our lovely young ladies in peace."

[Pink Mist]

I suggest the Op start a blog, it really sounds like the posting style of another member here

[gintOnic]

"Shut up and let us dirty old men boink our lovely young ladies in peace." 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Kitty, that looks 2 lines to me - still too long girl!

gintOnic

Edited September 4, 2005 by gintonic

[siamesekitty]

"Shut up and let us dirty old men boink our lovely young ladies in peace."  

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Kitty, that looks 2 lines to me - still too long girl!

gintOnic

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

get a bigger screen si ka

[kat]

A long, rambling, non-sensical, San Miguel (sanmig?) beer-fueled, illogical, diatribe for a first post...

LOL....

a perfect addition to the thaivisa family

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah, but I appreciate his unadorned honesty.

[Boo]

Did anyone get to the bottom of that, I got lost on the first sentance. One word.....YAWN

changed my mind about that one word

To the OP, why do you care so much, is this something that bothers you cause you think your doing something wrong or do you need the approval of complete strangers so much that you spend your life trying in turn to slag them off with posts like the above??

If it's the former then get over it, I, as a western women, couldn't give a crap if you are short, fat ugly, bald, got a gimpy leg & cross eyes or an adonis, do what you want, your life & you are dot in my vision as I have my own happy life, same for the rest of the guys who spend their life trying to work out what western women think of them. Get over your own ego, we don't think anything about you as we are too busy living. & if you perceive that western women are looking down on you or giving you dirty looks, then, again, WHY do you care? Got something to feel ashamed about?? No, So why get so indignant about it?

I don't post on here my thoughts on what you think about me in thailand as I couldn't give a crap & when some of you, uninvitedly give your opinion, I will tell you again, I don't care, so please give up trying to justify/ explain your reasons for being here & look at yourself for a change & think about why you need to ask.

[Pink Mist]

Did anyone get to the bottom of that, I got lost on the first sentance. One word.....YAWN

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Boo]

Oh yeah, I just woke up & gave up smoking 5 days ago

[sbk]

Don't hold back now Boo!

And Sanmig, nice try but I couldn't be bothered reading past the first hate filled anti women diatribe in the first paragraph. You obviously have some major issues or you wouldn't need to spend so much of your energy hating a very large percentage of the population.

And btw, I have seen some very hot western guys here, but I am married to a wonderful guy already so I just look.

And somehow, Sanmig, I really doubt you are one of the ones I am looking at

[daleyboy]

My head is still spinning from trying to read that....

I assume you have done reading the post - could you help to summarize them in to one line for me?

gintOnic

I can summarise for you.

Its says blah blah blah i hate women, blah blah blah, they think i am fat and ugly, blah blah blah, why doesnt anyone like me, blah blah blah

[Pink Mist]

Don't hold back now Boo!

And Sanmig, nice try but I couldn't be bothered reading past the first hate filled anti women diatribe in the first paragraph. You obviously have some major issues or you wouldn't need to spend so much of your energy hating a very large percentage of the population.

And btw, I have seen some very hot western guys here, but I am married to a wonderful guy already so I just look.

And somehow, Sanmig, I really doubt you are one of the ones I am looking at 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

did you actually read it mate, it reminded me of one of scampies diatribes, so I naturally turned off

[thaibebop]

The op lost me on the second line with the women are too lazy to learn how to speak. Yeah, I guess that's why women are better at expressing themselves, they're lazy.

I thought men were the lazy ones.

[Ice Maiden]

Women prefer chat rooms? Sanmig, the question I have for you is are you male or female?

You talk about the female population like you know it better than your own. How would you know all this about females? I wouldn't attempt to come up with a big paragraph all about males because for the simple fact I don't know that much about males. You assume you know so much about females, so are you called Betty on weekends then?

[Dragonman]

Women prefer chat rooms? Sanmig, the question I have for you is are you male or female?

You talk about the female population like you know it better than your own. How would you know all this about females? I wouldn't attempt to come up with a big paragraph all about males because for the simple fact I don't know that much about males. You assume you know so much about females, so are you called Betty on weekends then?     

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You can only call him Betty if he can call you Al. ( thanks to Warner Bros, Paul Simon, Graceland 1984) Sorry, before your time Ice.

[meadish_sweetball]

I read about half. It's funny though how the whole thing seems to be an appeal for understanding neglected men and telling women not to badmouth them, while at the same time spending so much time trying to badmouth and belittle women.

Getting sick of these posts. There have been so many.

[TRIPxCORE]

I tried to read it all but couldn't get through the whole thing. This quote here was my favorite.

At my age a very attractive sexpot holds more interest than an older woman with something to say. So? Do you resemble that remark?

So people, do you "resemble" that remark????

Edited September 5, 2005 by TRIPxCORE

[mrbojangles]

First time i looked at the original post, i got to para 3

After reading comments, i thought, no, i will read it all. So, second time i read, i got to para 2

[siamesekitty]

I read through the whole thing on the second try. Just about as frustrating as one of those condensed GMAT passages!

[OxfordWill]

Women not suited to forum posting? Are you kidding! Maybe you should look further than the barladies forum before saying that?

[sanmig]

I underestimated how much people would dislike the misogyny. That was meant as polemic to get attention and get things going. And there is some small bit of truth to that misogony of many women being uncritical gossips, I think, although it can be applied nearly as equally to men.

I have no defense about the post being long. Rambling and boring? Hmm, perhaps the subject matter was not of interest to the most readers. Someone wanted a summary of what was trying to be said. Ok, here it is without the polemical mysogyny:

Many people like to look down on westerners who come to Asia to find bed partners. They way they express their dislike is often distasteful, and sounds more like gossip than any reasoned examination. Many men of all ages and attractiveness come and have an infinite variety of types of relationships. I'm tired of hearing the same silly insult by western women that the men who come here are by and large unable to get laid at home. There are other good reasons to demean men for their activities here, but that is not one of them. Also, I wanted to start a discussion about age differences. It seems to me that many people find a big age difference or a big attractiveness difference as inherently distasteful, but can't quite put their finger on why.

[SiamOne]

Many people like to look down on westerners who come to Asia to find bed partners.  They way they express their dislike is often distasteful, and sounds more like gossip than any reasoned examination.  Many men of all ages and attractiveness come and have an infinite variety of types of relationships.  I'm tired of hearing the same silly insult by western women that the men who come here are by and large unable to get laid at home.  There are other good reasons to demean men for their activities here, but that is not one of them.  Also, I wanted to start a discussion about age differences.  It seems to me that many people find a big age difference or a big attractiveness difference as inherently distasteful, but can't quite put their finger on why.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh yes? I find that when I go back to europe with my (older) hubbie, it is the middle aged women who tend to be unpleasant and bitchy. Remarks have been made like "he has ruined her life", "dirty old man", disgraceful" etc etc. It is as if I was a 15 year old who had no experience of life and had been sold to him.

I am 30, he is 60, it is a big difference, but I was no innocent when I met him, having Thai and Farang boyfriends before. He is just a lovely man, respects me and looks after me.

The "why" of the distasteful remarks can just be seen as jealousy of the ageing unattractive women. I cant think of anything else. Luckily, those who do say nasty things are the people it is not worth bothering with.

it is all the assumptions that are made, without any knowledge of the real situation. My hubbie did not come to Thailand to get a "bed partner", and we met almost by accident. He had a youngish (33) year old western g/f before me, and there were no remarks that he knew of, so it is just reserved for Asian women.

oh well, we are happy, I hope you can be!!

[britmaveric]

Hmmmm this seems to be much of the same - shame search button isnt used more.