Sex In The City-Pattaya Style

[PattayaOneTeam]

High Season Street Dramas Continued

In the two weeks of slightly less high season since my last column, my sightings of high season street dramas show no signs of let up.

I don't know whether Pattaya is changing, or whether I have a finely-developed eye for trouble, but I am seeing it everywhere.

For instance one night recently a friend and I were walking into a bar on Walking Street when three Arabs were being thrown out for manhandling the girls.

The tallest of the Arabs, clearly drunk or drugged, squared up to one of the bouncers, threw him a moody chin and what must pass for a threatening glare on the streets of Tehran, but on Walking Street, it only resulted in the bouncer, about half his size, springing up to hit him.

The Iranian unwisely pushed the bouncer and was punched, hard.

He fell back, stumbled, then ran as fast as he could, chased down the road by the irate bouncer, having learned another basic but painful Pattaya lesson.

On another night on Walking Street I was looking at the huge crowd of free entertainment-gawkers those pathetic break dancing kids attract, baffled by what on earth people stop to watch them for (on second thoughts maybe they're all Pattaya columnists thinking what I'm thinking), when a Turkish guy snaked through the crowd and, not content with sexually assaulting one girl, he grabbed the backsides of TWO of them before slipping away quickly, leaving two very angry young woman searching for him.

Later I saw him again, in a 7:11, and overheard his Turkish (I speak some, believe it or not).

Keeping with public sexual assaults, I saw an utterly disgusting sight on beach Road up near Soi 2, one night. I saw a man standing very close to a girl sitting in the shadows. I then realized he had his tackle out, almost in the face of the girl, and I thought he was being given some inappropriately public oral assistance.

Stuck between being an outraged resident, a voyeur and a columnist, I hung around so I could work out what exactly was going on. Eventually he clocked me, and walked off. I went up to the girl and asked her what had happened, as she clearly wasn't doing anything with him. She said, angrily: “Arab man want show me his cock.” So he had indecently exposed himself and had been making love to himself inches away from her, on Beach Road. Nice.

At 3am recently as I bought a kebab in Marine Plaza (class act me), a group of four Arab guys came hurtling out of a nearby hotel, in utter panic. Between them they carried the comatose body of a bar girl, which they hurled into a baht bus they flagged down, which sped off into the night, presumably to the nearest emergency room.

How she had got into that state, who knows, but at least they stuck with her. I suspected a drug overdose, hence the sheer terror on these guys faces.

Moving back down to Walking Street and our Russian-speaking friends.

Where do I start with them?

Recently, when a group of already-dead drunk Russians staggered into a bar I was in, roughly plonked themselves down next to me, and proceeded to glower in that drunkenly oafish way at everyone around them, and then ordered 12 tequilas between four of them, I drank up, paid my bill and left. There is nothing pleasant about being near a drunken gang of anyone in Pattaya, and Russians are no exception.

I have seen three comatose Russians being “golf-carted” off Walking Street recently, and numerous shirtless, drunken confrontations involving Russian speakers around the town.

I have decided this level of unpleasant drunkenness is something I have to get used to, because this is the way Pattaya's going. And it CAN get much worse, as the price of holidays in Thailand comes down, the Baht sinks against the Rouble, and the Russian economy recovers, allowing even poorer and ruder Russians to descend on Pattaya.

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-- Pattaya One 2011-02-03