Wife Telling Fibs

[ozzieovaseas]

I wouldn't be too hard on her. I forgot my own birthday this year.

Lucky you

For one thing, birthdays are not important to most Thai people and she probably forgot it. She was then embarrassed to tell you she forgot it. And yes, it is good if your partner acknowledges the things that are important to you, but does she realize that it is important? Have you ever taken her to your home country so that she has a better understanding of you and where you come from?

And many Thais tell white lies. Not saying its a good thing, but its not always a bad thing. Sounds to me like you would be better off sitting down with her and having a real heart to heart talk about it in a calm and rational manner.

SBK, your advice is absolutely faultless in western terms, but im sure you will forgive me in assuming you havent had much "intimate" experience with Thai girls.

Your comments i highlighted:

Firstly: I've yet to meet ONE Thai female who has seriously enquired of ANYTHING about my country or its culture, other than to find out what i own, how much money ive got, and how many brothers and sisters ill be sharing my inheritance with.They certainly would not choose to go to my country if they had to pay a single satang out of their own pocket.

Although i guess its possible I might just still be unlucky, even after the XXth time.

Secondly: Talking in a calm and rational manner??

WELL, Now i KNOW you havent had any intimate dealings with Thai females

[cardholder]

I wouldn't be too hard on her. I forgot my own birthday this year.

Lucky you

For one thing, birthdays are not important to most Thai people and she probably forgot it. She was then embarrassed to tell you she forgot it. And yes, it is good if your partner acknowledges the things that are important to you, but does she realize that it is important? Have you ever taken her to your home country so that she has a better understanding of you and where you come from?

And many Thais tell white lies. Not saying its a good thing, but its not always a bad thing. Sounds to me like you would be better off sitting down with her and having a real heart to heart talk about it in a calm and rational manner.

SBK, your advice is absolutely faultless in western terms, but im sure you will forgive me in assuming you havent had much "intimate" experience with Thai girls.

Your comments i highlighted:

Firstly: I've yet to meet ONE Thai female who has seriously enquired of ANYTHING about my country or its culture, other than to find out what i own, how much money ive got, and how many brothers and sisters ill be sharing my inheritance with.They certainly would not choose to go to my country if they had to pay a single satang out of their own pocket.

Although i guess its possible I might just still be unlucky, even after the XXth time.

Secondly: Talking in a calm and rational manner??

WELL, Now i KNOW you havent had any intimate dealings with Thai females

Absolutely 100%, 24 carat, SPOT ON !

Thais have no interest in anything outside their immediate attention span - and that rarely includes ANYTHING to with a Falang

[pjclark1]

[........ Secondly: Talking in a calm and rational manner??

WELL, Now i KNOW you havent had any intimate dealings with Thai females

I would actually contest your theory

As I believe SBKs statement indicates a total lack of intimacy with females of any nationality.

[justaphase]

Why did the OP go away on his BD if it was so important to him?

For me, if you ain't got trust, you've got nothing. If it's all give and no take then what's it worth..?

How long u been married?

Where did you meet her?

Did she finish M3?

All these things could affect what is the right way to go.

How bad is the language barrier?

Is there a "brother" around all the time?

Oooooh.. Thailand. Millions come here and just get fuc_ked over..

[cardholder]

Oooooh.. Thailand. Millions come here and just get fuc_ked over..

...... and that is just the Thais..

[tonititan]

Absolutely 100%, 24 carat, SPOT ON !

Thais have no interest in anything outside their immediate attention span - and that rarely includes ANYTHING to with a Falang

Really? You really think that is 100% true? I'm shocked when people make such sweeping generalizations, and I have to disagree. Maybe the Thais that YOU associate with have no interest in your life or anything that doesn't directly affect them, but that's not true of everyone. It's certainly not true of my experiences. I have quite a few Thai friends - some acquaintances, and some very close friends. They are all very interested in my life, my home country, other countries I've been to, etc. In general, we talk about me way more than we talk about them and their lives. A lot of them are poor, but they don't want money - they don't want anything from me. They are just interested and want to learn.

I'm sorry that the Thais you have encountered are all people who, for whatever reason, have no interest in you or your life.

[snarky66]

it's already been stated in this thread but if I might try & distill it.

Don't ask for any third party help. She'll lose face & game over.

Sit her down & tell her the following.

Honey I love you.

Honey I have always been 100% honest with you. In return I need you to be 100% honest with me. As hard as this is to say if I catch you telling me one more lie we go to Amphur to sign the book. This includes "little white lies".

It's not acceptable.

Be ready to divorce her butt. I would. After this heart to heart set a few traps. Test her. I am 99% sure she can not change & it's time to trade in for a new model.

Best of luck.

[ozzieovaseas]

it's already been stated in this thread but if I might try & distill it.

Don't ask for any third party help. She'll lose face & game over.

Sit her down & tell her the following.

Honey I love you.

Honey I have always been 100% honest with you. In return I need you to be 100% honest with me. As hard as this is to say if I catch you telling me one more lie we go to Amphur to sign the book. This includes "little white lies".

It's not acceptable.

Be ready to divorce her butt. I would. After this heart to heart set a few traps. Test her. I am 99% sure she can not change & it's time to trade in for a new model.

Best of luck.

one that runs on different software maybe?

[MSingh]

I wouldn't be too hard on her. I forgot my own birthday this year.

Lucky you

For one thing, birthdays are not important to most Thai people and she probably forgot it. She was then embarrassed to tell you she forgot it. And yes, it is good if your partner acknowledges the things that are important to you, but does she realize that it is important? Have you ever taken her to your home country so that she has a better understanding of you and where you come from?

And many Thais tell white lies. Not saying its a good thing, but its not always a bad thing. Sounds to me like you would be better off sitting down with her and having a real heart to heart talk about it in a calm and rational manner.

SBK, your advice is absolutely faultless in western terms, but im sure you will forgive me in assuming you havent had much "intimate" experience with Thai girls.

Your comments i highlighted:

Firstly: I've yet to meet ONE Thai female who has seriously enquired of ANYTHING about my country or its culture, other than to find out what i own, how much money ive got, and how many brothers and sisters ill be sharing my inheritance with.They certainly would not choose to go to my country if they had to pay a single satang out of their own pocket.

Although i guess its possible I might just still be unlucky, even after the XXth time.

Secondly: Talking in a calm and rational manner??

WELL, Now i KNOW you havent had any intimate dealings with Thai females

That would probably be because SBK is a Female herself & isn't a Lesbian...

[justaphase]

it's already been stated in this thread but if I might try & distill it.

Don't ask for any third party help. She'll lose face & game over.

Sit her down & tell her the following.

Honey I love you.

Honey I have always been 100% honest with you. In return I need you to be 100% honest with me. As hard as this is to say if I catch you telling me one more lie we go to Amphur to sign the book. This includes "little white lies".

It's not acceptable.

Be ready to divorce her butt. I would. After this heart to heart set a few traps. Test her. I am 99% sure she can not change & it's time to trade in for a new model.

Best of luck.

one that runs on different software maybe?

Or a complete new Operating System..?

[ozzieovaseas]

[........ Secondly: Talking in a calm and rational manner??

WELL, Now i KNOW you havent had any intimate dealings with Thai females

I would actually contest your theory

As I believe SBKs statement indicates a total lack of intimacy with females of any nationality.

hehe, well said.

But hang on, she is a female herself, so i fear the longer she waits to respond the more serious a tongue lashing we are gonna be in for

[cardholder]

Absolutely 100%, 24 carat, SPOT ON !

Thais have no interest in anything outside their immediate attention span - and that rarely includes ANYTHING to with a Falang

Really? You really think that is 100% true? I'm shocked when people make such sweeping generalizations, and I have to disagree. Maybe the Thais that YOU associate with have no interest in your life or anything that doesn't directly affect them, but that's not true of everyone. It's certainly not true of my experiences. I have quite a few Thai friends - some acquaintances, and some very close friends. They are all very interested in my life, my home country, other countries I've been to, etc. In general, we talk about me way more than we talk about them and their lives. A lot of them are poor, but they don't want money - they don't want anything from me. They are just interested and want to learn.

I'm sorry that the Thais you have encountered are all people who, for whatever reason, have no interest in you or your life.

Obviously, I exclude the Bangkok hi-so's.

I also accept that such a statement can NEVER be 100% true.

A generalisation is more appropriate in that they GENERALLY have "little or no interest" in anything outside their sphere of activity.

I can accept that close friends or acquaintances (of any nationality) might be interested in your life etc. The truth remains that MOST do not have that interest and many have no interest in learning.

Edited March 10, 2011 by cardholder

[sbk]

[........ Secondly: Talking in a calm and rational manner??

WELL, Now i KNOW you havent had any intimate dealings with Thai females

I would actually contest your theory

As I believe SBKs statement indicates a total lack of intimacy with females of any nationality.

hehe, well said.

But hang on, she is a female herself, so i fear the longer she waits to respond the more serious a tongue lashing we are gonna be in for

Indeed, its true, I am a woman and its also true that I have close relationships with Thai women and have found that being calm is generally a good idea. But then I don't go into it assuming she is an idiot or a child but an adult and a human being who deserves respect and attention

[Kilgore Trout]

Are you suggesting only people who have finished high school, be allowed to have relationships?

(Quite a lot of Thais leave school at age 13)

And what countries high school standards do you propose to take as your benchmark?

(American high school standards are well below British high school standards, etc.)

I've yet to meet a woman that I could communicate with, to my satisfaction.

I think I would have to go gay in order to meet the communication standards you set.

Don't be silly, I am not talking about finishing high school, nor any level of institutional education. But I do think that two people who are married should have the language capabalities to be able to communicate at a level of a normally developed high school aged KID (14-17 yrs old). Thats not to say it has to be that way when they meed, but it should be a process with a goal to get to at least a "proper" level.

I have seen too many marriages where they communicate like 7 year olds with absolutely no effort or willingness to improve. What kind of marriage is that? By definition it is impossible to have a meaningful relationship (imho).

BTW, your comment really shows how little you know about education in the states as there are no "American high school standards." Each state has their own standards, and if you weren't aware there are 50 of them. Of course we don't have a perfect system but don't even get me started on the many, many problems not only with the british system but the way it is carried out.

In conclusion; wise up, smart guy

Edited March 10, 2011 by Kilgore Trout

[mstribling]

Perhaps two people don't have really high word quotas they feel obligated to fulfill ever waking moment of the day. Maybe they don't feel the need to add fluff to their conversations such as" by definition" which isn't used in the proper context of the sentence.

Some people understand that silence doesn't equate to stupidity.

Some others? Well...

"dog shit! No step!" has the exact same meaning as " Beware where you are about to place your foot. I seem to have noticed that there is dog excrement on the soil"

It seems a lot of emphasis is placed on the speaking and not much on the listening.

[jimbeam1]

Birthdays have no significance in Thai culture. Asking her to remember your birthday is the same as asking you to remember which animal in the Chinese calendar she was born under. The 'lie' was to save both of you the embarrassment of admitting your lack of knowledge. If you were Thai the situation wouldn't have happened. If you're offended by such insignificant things perhaps you ought to consider moving to Clacton.

Absolutely the celebration of a birthday is totally new to them. They can't even sing the song properly.

jb1

[jimbeam1]

A relationship is in many ways like a war. Some days a wife can be an ally and others an enemy depending on mood, tides, phases of the moon and the rainy season.

I would suggest remembering the capture of an Enigma decoding machine by the Brits in WW II or the breaking of the Japanese Naval code by the US.

Neither of these discoveries would have been of any value if the other side knew about them.

The Brits didn't send a telegram to the Germans informing them how stupid they were to let someone steal a coding machine.

The upper hand always goes to the one with more information. Shut up and watch and listen and remember. If they lie they also cheat and if they cheat they also steal. If you have a significant other who does none of these things, quick take your pulse, because you are probably dead and in heaven.

:cheesy:

Good one Mark, but Thai girls DO NOT go to heaven,

Is not because they are bad girls mind you, but being buddhist and such, they believe in reincarnation..

This way they have the freedom to make their way back to Pattaya in the afterlife..

Besides, no such thing as bars and dodgy farangs in heaven, and id presume money would be in pretty rare supply too.

Since these are the three things that Thai girls worship, i dont think life in heaven would be for them....thats even if they were allowed in

Is that why my g/f tells me she wants us to be together for 200 years ? Hmm what has she got planned after that?

jb1

[mstribling]

OP- Sorry I jacked your thread. Your wife is lying to you? Well no shit!

I'd follow Mark's advice. Don't let on that you know and learn her "tell"

If you caught someones tell in a game of hold 'em, you wouldn't blurt it out. Same.

Call or fold. If she's really hot looking. I would call.

[Pattel]

When I first came to Thailand (many,many years ago) I was told there were two golden rules to remember, and if you did you wouldn't go far wrong.

Rule Number 1. Thais lie.

Rule number 2. They always f------g lie.

I haven't seen much over the years to contradict this.

[mark45y]

OP- Sorry I jacked your thread. Your wife is lying to you? Well no shit!

I'd follow Mark's advice. Don't let on that you know and learn her "tell"

If you caught someones tell in a game of hold 'em, you wouldn't blurt it out. Same.

Call or fold. If she's really hot looking. I would call.

I feel bad about saying you are right on but that's a good example. Don't tell them about the tell.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em

Know when to walk away and know when to run.

Cause every hands a winner and every hands a loser.

And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

Count your money in your wallet before you go to sleep and again in the morning. And if you are with my ex girlfriend count the gold fillings in your teeth also.

[StreetCowboy]

[........ Secondly: Talking in a calm and rational manner??

WELL, Now i KNOW you havent had any intimate dealings with Thai females

I would actually contest your theory

As I believe SBKs statement indicates a total lack of intimacy with females of any nationality.

hehe, well said.

But hang on, she is a female herself, so i fear the longer she waits to respond the more serious a tongue lashing we are gonna be in for

Indeed, its true, I am a woman and its also true that I have close relationships with Thai women and have found that being calm is generally a good idea. But then I don't go into it assuming she is an idiot or a child but an adult and a human being who deserves respect and attention

I was vicariously hoping for a more thorough tongue lashing...

My recommendation when talking to ladies of any nationality is to think of something interesting and pleasurable, smile politely, nod occasionally, and if you can concentrate on two things at a time, mumble something during the silences. You might find that writing down apparent key words helps, if that does not distract you from your daydream.

SC

[sam666]

The op is obviously trolling, because no one is that stupid in real life.

I'm glad you said that, because I've been wetting my self reading this thread and stupidity of some people.

Just goes to show how many old pig lookalikes with hot young girls there are in thailand with the all the stupid comments I see in this thread really comes alive. Like "its normal" and "thai girls lie" etc, no it isn't ... if my gf (thai) didn't call me first thing in the morning on my bday I would sleep with her cousin (who I have to beat off with a stick when I see her drunk) . Let alone buy me a present (not with my money) jeez, get some standards ...Me and the GF like to play Love or Money on a Friday night when out drinking, some amusing stuff I've seen, bit like this thread.

A* for the OP's troll thread

Edited March 10, 2011 by sam666

[MSingh]

... if my gf (thai) didn't call me first thing in the morning on my bday I would sleep with her cousin (who I have to beat off with a stick when I see her drunk) .

[TheLaughingMan]

The op is obviously trolling, because no one is that stupid in real life.

I'm glad you said that, because I've been wetting my self reading this thread and stupidity of some people.

Just goes to show how many old pig lookalikes with hot young girls there are in thailand with the all the stupid comments I see in this thread really comes alive. Like "its normal" and "thai girls lie" etc, no it isn't ... if my gf (thai) didn't call me first thing in the morning on my bday I would sleep with her cousin (who I have to beat off with a stick when I see her drunk) . Let alone buy me a present (not with my money) jeez, get some standards ...Me and the GF like to play Love or Money on a Friday night when out drinking, some amusing stuff I've seen, bit like this thread.

A* for the OP's troll thread

Actually I was completely joking, I've been reading this forum for 6 years and I assure you I fully know they ARE that stupid. Yes they will make excuse after excuse to explain away the obvious contempt and disrespect these guys "wives" have for them, and try to convince everyone else within range that it is normal and no other way to go about it, just accept that your wife will lie and cheat and plan your death. Any wife of mine that forgot my birthday or constantly lied wouldn't be a wife much longer, and with a gazillion other available women in this country there really is no excuse for settling for a retard and compulsive liar.

[vreemd13]

Birthdays have no significance in Thai culture. Asking her to remember your birthday is the same as asking you to remember which animal in the Chinese calendar she was born under. The 'lie' was to save both of you the embarrassment of admitting your lack of knowledge. If you were Thai the situation wouldn't have happened. If you're offended by such insignificant things perhaps you ought to consider moving to Clacton.

Absolutely the celebration of a birthday is totally new to them. They can't even sing the song properly.

jb1

Today on telephone I had to ask 3x

"what 'birthday party' of your friend you tell me about within one half year".

Yeah, 555, don't fool me for playing around!?!??

Turned out to be 'hurtday party'.

Sorry, my misunderstanding for not understanding immediately, sure a bad connection

[frankpelagic]

I'm the OP on this thread, and it's time to comment on the replies. Thanks for some 'sage' advice from genuine posters, and I offer my sympathy to a few sad individuals who seem to have such a poor regard for Thais and Thailand that it may be in their interests to go home. I mean who would want to live in a country where they had such a low regard for their hosts ??

If you read my original post correctly, my intention was ask people's advice on how to handle an issue that was was irritating me. I have known my wife for three years, she has been to my home country three times. She managed to acccrue 20,000 baht on one visit, (no, not by selling herself) and to my surprise, when we got back to Thailand she spent the lot on a gold necklace for me. In the three years, she has never asked me for a penny. I give her a sensible amount every month, as she has no other income. She often buys food or something for my condo or for me when she goes out. In her small way, she constantly tries to contribute to our lives. I do trust her completely in the material sense. Many will say that is foolish, but I cannot lead a sad life of mistrust. Having said that, as with any significant other, I do keep my financial affairs safe and protected, as I would with a partner of any ethnicity. Many men have been taken to the cleaners by their English/Australia/American wives. You do not have to come to Thailand to get fleeced. People forget that. Ask Tiger Woods!.

One poster kindly provided me with the lyrics of a Kenny Rogers song, now bearing in mind my wife isn't an 18 year old doll, but an average woman in her mid 30's, here are some other lyrics.......... If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!!

Picking out the well meant advice from the nonsense, I think I will just choose to ignore the trivial lies, and accept the fact that they are not malicious, or with the intention of gaining something from me, but a combination of a reluctance to put herself in conflict or confrontation with me, and a cultural/peer influence. At the same time, I will keep my eyes open, as everyone should do in any relationship.

Oh, for the person who called me a "troll" After my name there are the following letters BSc Applied Biology, BSc Rural and Remote Health, MSc Rural Health. Troll ???

There you are then.

[tonititan]

Many men have been taken to the cleaners by their English/Australia/American wives. You do not have to come to Thailand to get fleeced. People forget that. Ask Tiger Woods!.

:D:D You chose Tiger Woods as your example? Should we feel sorry for him that his wife was awarded some of his money? I guess, why not feel sorry for him?....he was such a loyal, honest, dutiful husband....except for the whole whoring it with a bunch of different girlfriends and prostitutes....oh, and convincing them to hide it from his wife who was at home alone taking care of his children.

[StreetCowboy]

I'm the OP on this thread, and it's time to comment on the replies. Thanks for some 'sage' advice from genuine posters, and I offer my sympathy to a few sad individuals who seem to have such a poor regard for Thais and Thailand that it may be in their interests to go home. I mean who would want to live in a country where they had such a low regard for their hosts ??

If you read my original post correctly, my intention was ask people's advice on how to handle an issue that was was irritating me. I have known my wife for three years, she has been to my home country three times. She managed to acccrue 20,000 baht on one visit, (no, not by selling herself) and to my surprise, when we got back to Thailand she spent the lot on a gold necklace for me. In the three years, she has never asked me for a penny. I give her a sensible amount every month, as she has no other income. She often buys food or something for my condo or for me when she goes out. In her small way, she constantly tries to contribute to our lives. I do trust her completely in the material sense. Many will say that is foolish, but I cannot lead a sad life of mistrust. Having said that, as with any significant other, I do keep my financial affairs safe and protected, as I would with a partner of any ethnicity. Many men have been taken to the cleaners by their English/Australia/American wives. You do not have to come to Thailand to get fleeced. People forget that. Ask Tiger Woods!.

One poster kindly provided me with the lyrics of a Kenny Rogers song, now bearing in mind my wife isn't an 18 year old doll, but an average woman in her mid 30's, here are some other lyrics.......... If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!!

Picking out the well meant advice from the nonsense, I think I will just choose to ignore the trivial lies, and accept the fact that they are not malicious, or with the intention of gaining something from me, but a combination of a reluctance to put herself in conflict or confrontation with me, and a cultural/peer influence. At the same time, I will keep my eyes open, as everyone should do in any relationship.

Oh, for the person who called me a "troll" After my name there are the following letters BSc Applied Biology, BSc Rural and Remote Health, MSc Rural Health. Troll ???

There you are then.

Even the best-qualified of us fall on hard times and have to sleep under bridges from time to time

Dr SC

There are many here who would be delighted if you could lead a life of sad mistrust, for the comradeship it would bring to them

Edited March 11, 2011 by StreetCowboy

[pjclark1]

:D You chose Tiger Woods as your example? Should we feel sorry for him that his wife was awarded some of his money? I guess, why not feel sorry for him?....he was such a loyal, honest, dutiful husband....except for the whole whoring it with a bunch of different girlfriends and prostitutes....oh, and convincing them to hide it from his wife who was at home alone taking care of his children.

So a married person who behaves badly in a relationship should have to give huge amounts of money away as compensation?

But murderers don't have to do that!

[Kilgore Trout]

Perhaps two people don't have really high word quotas they feel obligated to fulfill ever waking moment of the day. Maybe they don't feel the need to add fluff to their conversations such as" by definition" which isn't used in the proper context of the sentence.

Some people understand that silence doesn't equate to stupidity.

Some others? Well...

"dog shit! No step!" has the exact same meaning as " Beware where you are about to place your foot. I seem to have noticed that there is dog excrement on the soil"

It seems a lot of emphasis is placed on the speaking and not much on the listening.

Of course people don't have to speak all the time but they should have the ability to be able to express their thoughts and feelings, lack thereof prohibits what most people would consider a necessary basis for a healthy relationship.

Kids in the mix also adds a scary dimension, the types of people I talk about often have children who can't speak English at all (despite having a native speaking father) and speak Thai like an issan bargirl. These children have a bleak future as they will not be accepted by western or thai society.

But, if thats what you want in your life and for your kids future, go right ahead and marry someone you will never be able to communicate with properly. And again I said "properly."

If you need more clarification you are missing the point and I'm wasting my breath.

Bottom line; do whatever you want but don't be surprised when people look down on you and assume (in many cases truly) that you have bought youself a wh#re, plain and simple.