Wife Telling Fibs

Derifo · March 13, 2011

Wow , sorry but lying to you is a no ,no, how can you have trust in a relationship if you or your wife constantly lies ,we all do the occasional fib ,but lying ,sorry but in all the years my wife and i have been married she has never forgotten my b/day and even when i told her i wantede nothing for xmas , she got her familly to deliver a suprise prezy for me . If there is no trust then by by.

by the way its not a Thai trait ,anyway not the Thais i have known and there have been very many.

Mine forgot my birthday three years ago. I didn't remind her. she called me while I was at work the next day to say, "Sorry, I forgot yesterday was your birthday."

We used to spoil each other on our birthdays ( just 5 weeks apart ) before that.

mark45y · March 13, 2011

On the subject can some of the more experienced fellows comment on the following...

When a farang partner frquently tells his Thai partner little white lies because he wants to avoid conflict and not lose face is she totally cool with that? She is right? I mean, it's the Thai way, it's what they're used to and internally think that it's acceptable. Or are double standards apart of the 'Thai way' too?

I have told some of the most outrageous porkies to my Thai ladies and they don't seem to mind. Nor do they constantly bring them up after the fact.

“I could not have been with that woman because you know I don't like skinny young women.”

“That condom has been in my pocket for three years since before I met you.”

“That woman smiles at me because I know her from the restaurant where she is cashier (lady was wearing red slit skirt and fishnet stockings).”

“Those women were my students 6 years ago and remember me (group of smiling women sitting outside of a bar).”

“She calls looking for my friend Ian.” I use that one a lot when the phone rings at 2AM.

In the West with my last wife, one misspent afternoon at a seaside resort motel with my attractive young assistant manager became the topic of conversation at least once a week for 6 years until we finally got a divorce.

mark45y · March 13, 2011

Thais women like gold. Thai women like rings.

Why do you think that Thai women don't wear wedding rings?

A million dollar question.

Mine took off her ring the very day I bought a car, and when I asked for it, she told me it was in the pawn shop. I found out it was hidden in the bedroom the day I threw her stuffs out.

I used to tutor Thai female doctors who worked at a large private hospital after work. They were all married but none of them wore wedding rings. At first I thought they were flirting with me. One told me her husband was only home on weekends and that conversation was not in the context of teaching. Another told me when I asked her if she was married, “well, most of the time I am.” I see a few Thai women wearing wedding rings some even with a diamond engagement ring combination, I have always assumed they were married to Falangs.

TheyCallmeScooter · March 13, 2011

On the subject can some of the more experienced fellows comment on the following...

When a farang partner frquently tells his Thai partner little white lies because he wants to avoid conflict and not lose face is she totally cool with that? She is right? I mean, it's the Thai way, it's what they're used to and internally think that it's acceptable. Or are double standards apart of the 'Thai way' too?

Good luck attempting to impart the concept of empathy to the brilliantly self-involved. Thai cultural peculiarities are glorious because, like Mark's medical student above, they only apply some of the time.

Rest assured, the some does not apply to you (where you = anyone but the specific person deciding when Thai culture applies and when it doesn't).

anterian · March 13, 2011

Thais lie all the time, it is part of the cultures, both to save their face and yours. But they rarely lie about relationships, just money.

harrycallahan · March 13, 2011

And another thought, are the logical leaps so great that the following can't be understood...

"I want myself and my husband to be happy, minimal conflict..." (face loss?)

"My husband doesn't like being lied to, it troubles him and he gets upset when I do that"

"Ipso facto, I will try not to lie to my husband especially over trivialities where the lies themselves are sure to cause more trouble than being truthful." (and won't tell those stupid lies which are so obvious... see TheyCallMeScooter's previous post)

Yep, self involved says it all.

aries27 · March 13, 2011

At the second year of marriage, partners should still be on honeymoon stage, staging surprise birthday parties and special presents.

harleyclarkey · March 13, 2011

Frank...you are joking? I don't want to sound harsh but do you really need advice??!

The woman, from what you have told us, is taking you for a fool. You seem a decent, caring man and deserve better. If she lies from day one then where is the trust? She doesn't care enough about you to call you on your birthday after 2 years married?? You know she lies about trivial matters...do you know if she lies about major matters? You can bet your last dollar she does.

No way Frank...cut your losses and find a real woman.

harleyclarkey · March 13, 2011

At the second year of marriage, partners should still be on honeymoon stage, staging surprise birthday parties and special presents.

Right on....she seemed to be glad he was abroad.

mstribling · March 13, 2011

At the second year of marriage, partners should still be on honeymoon stage, staging surprise birthday parties and special presents.

Funny post of the day.

Right on....she seemed to be glad he was abroad.

steve C · March 13, 2011

This usually happens when their mouth is moving

mark45y · March 13, 2011

Frank...you are joking? I don't want to sound harsh but do you really need advice??!

The woman, from what you have told us, is taking you for a fool. You seem a decent, caring man and deserve better. If she lies from day one then where is the trust? She doesn't care enough about you to call you on your birthday after 2 years married?? You know she lies about trivial matters...do you know if she lies about major matters? You can bet your last dollar she does.

No way Frank...cut your losses and find a real woman.

I don't know if a real woman is the answer. Ladyboys are fun and can also do some of the heavy lifting.

ttthailand · March 13, 2011

I think everyone lies from time to time but I find some ( not all) Thais lie every time they open their mouths. I have traveled the world and have never come across this before. I have had two bg friends and both lied like crazy..about everything!!! One girl I was with for 3 months ( biggest liar in the world) and another for over a year. Most of the lies didn't really mean anything but sometimes I would question them on major things like phone calls and sure enough...she would be hiding something that needed a good lie to get out of. Sweet young bgs have too many old customers that keep in contact. Only problem was I never trusted them anyhow. I put up with the lies because we had fun and enjoyed our time together. ( never trust a bg) Both relationships ended because of the lies. My current Thai gf and I have been together for over 10 years and I can say that she never or almost never lies...hard to believe but it's true !!! She never did the bar thing nor drinks or smokes. She goes to the Wat, helps dogs, helps the poor, almost a saint.... She sometimes puts me to the test about lying. I find it difficult to lie to her as she always knows when I do....even farang lie. So there are some Thais that don't lie.

I would say if she is lying she is hiding something. Maybe important maybe not. If I don't love the girl and am only with her for the bang then I don't really care what she does. I could not however stand the girl I love lying to me all the time. It would drive me crazy loving her and not trusting her.

cardholder · March 13, 2011

Frank...you are joking? I don't want to sound harsh but do you really need advice??!

The woman, from what you have told us, is taking you for a fool. You seem a decent, caring man and deserve better. If she lies from day one then where is the trust? She doesn't care enough about you to call you on your birthday after 2 years married?? You know she lies about trivial matters...do you know if she lies about major matters? You can bet your last dollar she does.

No way Frank...cut your losses and find a real woman.

I don't know if a real woman is the answer. Ladyboys are fun and can also do some of the heavy lifting.

:cheesy:

3,000+ posts and this has got to be one of the funniest.

mkawish · March 13, 2011

I've been here for several years and still don't understand why western men enter into marriage with someone they can't communicate with. Oh yeah, I understand that most of the early "communication" is in a universal language, but after a while you have to get out of bed. OK, here's my view -- maybe it's just easier for your wife to tell little short lies than to actually attempt the language to explain what's going on. It's time for you to learn Thai!

NancyL....

You are so wise.... so wise beyond your year....

I second your motion and thought....

What a pity.... most people want the other party to change.... without thinking or considering that they themselves perhaps need to make the necessary change first....

I always say.... women are generally much smarter than men....

Yes, the poster should by all means.... attempt to learn Thai.... to match wit with her....

How about you, Nan...? POOD THAI DAI MAI.... Do you speak Thai....? :jap:

tarn kow gun mai.... ?

dananderson · March 13, 2011

Live together first for a couple years before you get married. Were you foolish enough to pay sin sod? Marriage is hardly a necessity in my book for 2 people to share their lives together. Som nom na

Kilgore Trout · March 14, 2011

The gentleman you're (rather rudely) lecturing at simply desires something completely different than you do. I completely side with you, on what we hope for out of a relationship. I think sex is over-rated and (as you can probably surmise), I'm a talker and would be bored out of my mind in a relationship with someone who couldn't hold their own in an amusing, fast-paced conversation. But I completely side with the other gentleman's approach to discussing the opposing viewpoints. I did not see him rudely insult you for wanting a communication-based relationship...?!

You only degrade yourself when you assert that anyone who doesn't want what you want from a relationship....is somehow 'less intelligent' than you are or, or has married a 'whore'.

And...it has been my experience that people who worry too much about what other people think of them...aren't usually thought of very highly by those they wish to impress.

You are missing the point, please point out where I asserted that anyone is less intelligent than I?? I am only saying that if you can't communicate with your wife "properly" then in addition to being looked down upon (whether that is an issue or not) then you deserve what you get. How can you know or trust someone you can't communicate with at least at the level of a 12 year old? So when your "wife" turns out to be a liar then don't be surprised and don't come on this forum complaining about it.

In conclusion; don't be so stupid as to MARRY someone you can't communicate with properly

pjclark1 · March 14, 2011

You are missing the point, please point out where I asserted that anyone is less intelligent than I?? I am only saying that if you can't communicate with your wife "properly" then in addition to being looked down upon (whether that is an issue or not) then you deserve what you get. How can you know or trust someone you can't communicate with at least at the level of a 12 year old? So when your "wife" turns out to be a liar then don't be surprised and don't come on this forum complaining about it.

In conclusion; don't be so stupid as to MARRY someone you can't communicate with properly

I can speak, read and write Thai (but choose not to speak Thai in public)

My lady has learnt very good English in less than a year (very bright girl)

So what.

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO.

If a man claims it isn't about sex, then I would assume either he is ill (rare), very old (over 70), or making the best of a bad situation where his partner refuses him sex (most common).

In the western world I was with a male group of over 50s discussing if they had found their sex drive diminishing with age, all answered 'no', but they had extremely restricted access to sex, and so had learned to either do without or wack off in the shower a lot.

In Thailand most ladies will do their duty, whether in the mood or not, if not, plenty of 'bars with fairy lights'

Edited March 14, 2011 by pjclark1

mkawish · March 14, 2011

You are missing the point, please point out where I asserted that anyone is less intelligent than I?? I am only saying that if you can't communicate with your wife "properly" then in addition to being looked down upon (whether that is an issue or not) then you deserve what you get. How can you know or trust someone you can't communicate with at least at the level of a 12 year old? So when your "wife" turns out to be a liar then don't be surprised and don't come on this forum complaining about it.

In conclusion; don't be so stupid as to MARRY someone you can't communicate with properly

I can speak, read and write Thai (but choose not to speak Thai in public)

My lady has learnt very good English in less than a year (very bright girl)

So what.

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO.

If a man claims it isn't about sex, then I would assume either he is ill (rare), very old (over 70), or making the best of a bad situation where his partner refuses him sex (most common).

In the western world I was with a male group of over 50s discussing if they had found their sex drive diminishing with age, all answered 'no', but they had extremely restricted access to sex, and so had learned to either do without or wack off in the shower a lot.

In Thailand most ladies will do their duty, whether in the mood or not, if not, plenty of 'bars with fairy lights'

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO....

I am sure there are more able men here who would disagree with you heartily....

And me is one amongst those laughing at your silly and spurious assumption....

Come on.... don't make those pretty girls out there laugh at us too heavily....

Your comment appears to be so very shallow about human relationships....

Really now.... there are much more exciting reasons to have and to maintain a relationship with the opposite sex.... aren't there?

Note, I am not saying sex is not exciting and motivating now.... ok? But it never is the end of everything as you appear to point out here.... hope I am wrong again.... which I often am nowadays....

Kilgore Trout · March 14, 2011

You are missing the point, please point out where I asserted that anyone is less intelligent than I?? I am only saying that if you can't communicate with your wife "properly" then in addition to being looked down upon (whether that is an issue or not) then you deserve what you get. How can you know or trust someone you can't communicate with at least at the level of a 12 year old? So when your "wife" turns out to be a liar then don't be surprised and don't come on this forum complaining about it.

In conclusion; don't be so stupid as to MARRY someone you can't communicate with properly

I can speak, read and write Thai (but choose not to speak Thai in public)

My lady has learnt very good English in less than a year (very bright girl)

So what.

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO.

If a man claims it isn't about sex, then I would assume either he is ill (rare), very old (over 70), or making the best of a bad situation where his partner refuses him sex (most common).

In the western world I was with a male group of over 50s discussing if they had found their sex drive diminishing with age, all answered 'no', but they had extremely restricted access to sex, and so had learned to either do without or wack off in the shower a lot.

In Thailand most ladies will do their duty, whether in the mood or not, if not, plenty of 'bars with fairy lights'

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO....

I am sure there are more able men here who would disagree with you heartily....

And me is one amongst those laughing at your silly and spurious assumption....

Come on.... don't make those pretty girls out there laugh at us too heavily....

Your comment appears to be so very shallow about human relationships....

Really now.... there are much more exciting reasons to have and to maintain a relationship with the opposite sex.... aren't there?

Note, I am not saying sex is not exciting and motivating now.... ok? But it never is the end of everything as you appear to point out here.... hope I am wrong again.... which I often am nowadays....

Surely the types of relationships you are referring to are about sex, I'm not denying that

A healthy marriage however, is partly about sex, but at the very least equally but imho a much larger percentage is about communication. You will not find many who are not "sexpats" agreeing with you, and again don't make assumptions about the types of people who attend this forum as we are not all sex tourists.

I can't believe you are trying to make an argument to justify your behavior, ok, you are here for sex and want not a wife but a sex slave who you are unable to communicate with as an equal. Fine, but don't try to feed me this tripe that is is acceptable or justified in the eyes of the rest of the world because it is not.

She is not your wife, she is a girl you have bought for sex, plain and simple. Discuss this with your mother or ex-wife, see if she takes your side or mine

mark45y · March 14, 2011

You are missing the point, please point out where I asserted that anyone is less intelligent than I?? I am only saying that if you can't communicate with your wife "properly" then in addition to being looked down upon (whether that is an issue or not) then you deserve what you get. How can you know or trust someone you can't communicate with at least at the level of a 12 year old? So when your "wife" turns out to be a liar then don't be surprised and don't come on this forum complaining about it.

In conclusion; don't be so stupid as to MARRY someone you can't communicate with properly

I can speak, read and write Thai (but choose not to speak Thai in public)

My lady has learnt very good English in less than a year (very bright girl)

So what.

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO.

If a man claims it isn't about sex, then I would assume either he is ill (rare), very old (over 70), or making the best of a bad situation where his partner refuses him sex (most common).

In the western world I was with a male group of over 50s discussing if they had found their sex drive diminishing with age, all answered 'no', but they had extremely restricted access to sex, and so had learned to either do without or wack off in the shower a lot.

In Thailand most ladies will do their duty, whether in the mood or not, if not, plenty of 'bars with fairy lights'

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO....

I am sure there are more able men here who would disagree with you heartily....

And me is one amongst those laughing at your silly and spurious assumption....

Come on.... don't make those pretty girls out there laugh at us too heavily....

Your comment appears to be so very shallow about human relationships....

Really now.... there are much more exciting reasons to have and to maintain a relationship with the opposite sex.... aren't there?

Note, I am not saying sex is not exciting and motivating now.... ok? But it never is the end of everything as you appear to point out here.... hope I am wrong again.... which I often am nowadays....

Depending on what the relationship is about is key to understanding about telling the truth.

If the relationship is simply about sex then other issues don't become very important.

Although you make light of a man who thinks a relationship may only be about sex there are perhaps many of us who feel that way.

It may be the result of failed marriages, busted families and emotional storm and stress in general.

After a couple of marriages and children and extended families all crying for attention or emotional support or financial assistance sometimes it becomes too much. In the West one goes to the shrink and get some Prozac or other anti depressant medication and a couple of part time jobs in addition to the daytime gig. You can see these restless souls in the West prowling the pubs late at night or just standing and staring into space with lifeless eyes wondering what went wrong.

A few of the lucky ones because of Karma of a past life or luck get thrown the life preserver of Thailand. Nana Plaza at first seems like a lifeboat and finally they wash up on the shores of Issan with a 20 something Thai maiden munching som tom and drinking Chang beer. Truth, lies and beer Chang; sure it's all about sex. But who is to say who is better off.

mark45y · March 14, 2011

You are missing the point, please point out where I asserted that anyone is less intelligent than I?? I am only saying that if you can't communicate with your wife "properly" then in addition to being looked down upon (whether that is an issue or not) then you deserve what you get. How can you know or trust someone you can't communicate with at least at the level of a 12 year old? So when your "wife" turns out to be a liar then don't be surprised and don't come on this forum complaining about it.

In conclusion; don't be so stupid as to MARRY someone you can't communicate with properly

I can speak, read and write Thai (but choose not to speak Thai in public)

My lady has learnt very good English in less than a year (very bright girl)

So what.

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO.

If a man claims it isn't about sex, then I would assume either he is ill (rare), very old (over 70), or making the best of a bad situation where his partner refuses him sex (most common).

In the western world I was with a male group of over 50s discussing if they had found their sex drive diminishing with age, all answered 'no', but they had extremely restricted access to sex, and so had learned to either do without or wack off in the shower a lot.

In Thailand most ladies will do their duty, whether in the mood or not, if not, plenty of 'bars with fairy lights'

Relationships between men and women are about SEX, not communication IMHO....

I am sure there are more able men here who would disagree with you heartily....

And me is one amongst those laughing at your silly and spurious assumption....

Come on.... don't make those pretty girls out there laugh at us too heavily....

Your comment appears to be so very shallow about human relationships....

Really now.... there are much more exciting reasons to have and to maintain a relationship with the opposite sex.... aren't there?

Note, I am not saying sex is not exciting and motivating now.... ok? But it never is the end of everything as you appear to point out here.... hope I am wrong again.... which I often am nowadays....

Surely the types of relationships you are referring to are about sex, I'm not denying that

A healthy marriage however, is partly about sex, but at the very least equally but imho a much larger percentage is about communication. You will not find many who are not "sexpats" agreeing with you, and again don't make assumptions about the types of people who attend this forum as we are not all sex tourists.

I can't believe you are trying to make an argument to justify your behavior, ok, you are here for sex and want not a wife but a sex slave who you are unable to communicate with as an equal. Fine, but don't try to feed me this tripe that is is acceptable or justified in the eyes of the rest of the world because it is not.

She is not your wife, she is a girl you have bought for sex, plain and simple. Discuss this with your mother or ex-wife, see if she takes your side or mine

Kilgore, as I pull myself out of bed this morning after she had a few Smirnoff's last night and insisted I do my Elvis impression at the Karaoke for her friends; I wonder who is the slave.

My God she is an energetic young woman. She has not reached the point in her life where she realizes men are not creatures of boundless strength, durability and stamina.

She eats like a horse and rides me like one. The idea that there might be even a little bit submissive or some form of indentured servant is laughable.

Kilgore, I honestly pay her once a month to go upcountry and see her parents so I can get some rest.

This myth of men coming to Thailand buying a wife to be a sex slave is just that a myth. If any slaves exist in most houses in Thailand it is the men.

Have you ever talked to any farm ladies? “Husband work all day, come home drink whiskey, go sleep. I not happy.” How the farm ladies can work all day and re energize themselves after a shower and some som tom is beyond me but they do and they are insatiable.

mkawish · March 14, 2011