Why Farang Men In Thai Like Thai Woman?

[gerryfarang]

I just recently returned from 1 year in Thailand...where I met alot of very hostile farang males. They became hostile when the subject of farang woman was brought up.

I was interested in farang womans views regarding why the farang men are so hostile to them...I already got the thai/expat/farang male view on why they did not like farang woman....now I would like to understand the views of some farang woman regarding WHY FARANG MEN (most long term expat types)IN THAILAND OFTEN DO NOT LIKE FARANG WOMAN AND ENJOY TO BE WITH THAI WOMAN BETTER.

any thoughts?

Thank you ...Gerry

[Nat]

WHY FARANG MEN (most long term expat types)IN THAILAND OFTEN DO NOT LIKE FARANG WOMAN AND ENJOY TO BE WITH THAI WOMAN BETTER.

Hi gerryfarang

We women can only speculate and assume why this is - the males you spoke to would have given you the most accurate answer. I must say, that in bangkok, I have more farang male friends than female ones and never encountered hostility.

The trend seems to be that many males have been badly treated in the past by western women - can only assume that the ones who hold resentment are stereotyping all western women. In a way there's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy here. If one walks around with the idea that "all western women are mean, arrogant, opinionated, etc (all those lovely things written about the beached whales )" then they are more likely (possibly unconsciously) to project these views when they encounter a western woman. This in turn would result in a defensive response from the female, who not realising simply reinforces the stereotype. This is just a theory - there are many reasons why farang men are hostile to farang women, just don't think it's fair to label us all.

Have to point out that the few women I do now in bangkok, are here cause they've been treated badly by western men. However, they don't tend to stereotype western men - if anything they hold them in a high regard and are aware that their personal experience are just that "personal".

[gerryfarang]

hahaha thanks for your reply...

You said

"The trend seems to be that many males have been badly treated in the past by western women "

Yes I agree on this point, many of the guys I talked to especially in the bar areas were divorced and bitter. They said all the same things you mentioned..western woman are:

ANGRY

CONTROLLING

UGLY

FAT

OLD

TO BOSSY

MONEY HUNGRY

etc etc

I think that alot of the bitterness was related to problems they had in there past lives and that they then put all farang woman into the same category often forgeting to look at themselves.

I was just surprised that I saw so many farang men in non bar areas, guys who owned businesses were retired etc who had ONLY Thai wives and gfs and told me they wanted nothing to do with farang woman.

[sbk]

I have always wondered if people with unsuccessful relationships tend to continue on that way by the partners they choose? I mean, my uncle had 3 wives before he died and none of them were that nice while my father has been married twice, 35 years to my step-mom, perhaps he just made a better choice the second time around? Woman who get beaten by their husbands often find themselves in abusive relationships over and over. So, perhaps these guys find themselves disillusioned with farang women because they have always made poor choices? There are millions of successful farang/farang relationships, far more so than farang/Thai, so not ALL farang women can be that bad, eh?

[Pink Mist]

Lets look at the situation.

In Thailand the majority of people are Thai therefore the chance of a Farang/Thai relationship is higher whichever gender combination.

Most of my friends married to Thai women never speak about, bossy, controlling, angry farang women, they are just happy with their choices and clearly in love.

Mostly women are women (sorry girls) whatever the race.

My Thai wife is bossy and controlling when she needs to be but we work in a partnership and I do get out of line (I love a beer with mates down pub) occasionally so I need a tune up.

As was mentioned before a lot of bar talk is about Farang women, bad treatment etc. but it's bar talk.

I have some Aussie girl mates and the're great it's just my choice of wife was different for only one reason compatibility and love, oops thats 2

[Scarlett]

By the insults and bias that many farang men have shown toward western women on this forum (not all men here, but many) you would think that these men have no mothers or sisters.

The question asked in this thread has become a very real issue for me since I began living in Thailand. It is difficult to make friends wherever you relocate, but for an expat woman in Thailand it is extremely difficult. There are not many other foreign women to associate with (at least where I am living) and many western men shun us. Further, when my western husband goes alone anywhere he inevitably returns with tales of whom he met...the farang men urge him to drop his western woman (though they have never met me) in favor of the hedonistic lifestyle one may enjoy with a TG. Apparently they are so content they need to make sure everyone is living it up with them. Meanwhile they tell their tales of woe with these women- betrayal, thievery, manipulation, duplicity, etc. My husband is also constantly thronged by Thai women offering all sorts of sordid services and companionship, even when I am gone from him only a few minutes in the restroom at a restaurant, and often overtly in my presence.

While my husband is exceptionally handsome, actually gorgeous, I have yet to meet or see one other handsome expat male living here. Typically, these men who seem to think they are God's gift to Thailand have many unsightly physical characteristics...not to mention their often lacking personality or scruples. And by the way, all too often I see these "studs" in a restaurant with their Thai girlfriends...the bored looks on these ladies faces reveal so much about their successful, exciting relationships. Oh, and before you winners all chime in about how it is more than economics...well don't bother. I've talked with these gals plenty of times and you should hear what they have to gossip about you when you aren't around to hear. Let's just say all the things you abhor in western women aren't exactly appreciated in you either (by Thai or western females!) Thai women have one good reason to put up with their walking ATM machines.

The arrogance of some of the men on this forum calling farang women "beached whales" as well as other slanderous remarks against the looks and characters of farang ladies makes me curious as to the exceptional charms of these harsh critics. Why are such gorgeous, talented, personality pleasers combing the globe in search of someone to love them...or at least have sex with them??? It does make one wonder. Oh, but I forgot it is their special preference for the best looking women on earth...the ladies of Thailand.

This brings me to another point I have never seen anyone else point out. While I agree that Thai people are in general a nice looking race, by far do I think that ALL Thai people or women are even good looking or beautiful. I can see where it would be misleadingly easy to think that MOST Thai women are good looking if you have most of your encounters in bars, tourist, and expat areas. The women there have been hand picked for their looks and their mannerisms have been carefully cultivated to extract money/and or relationships with men. These are the cream of the crop (in looks anyway) that Thailand has to offer. Conversely, I have been in the company of your average Thai women and men at seminars and business meetings and the village I live in, and like westerners they run the gamut of ugly to exceptional. These are the real people of Thailand, and I might add potentially make for better relationship material than the lovely bar girls and hookers on sale.

To the single western ladies of this forum may I suggest a trip or a relocation to Bali. I was there recently and while I found it quite safe and pleasant for a vacation, I was amused to find the opposite relationship situation exists...Paradise for women-young native men hanging out on stoops and bars propositioning western ladies. I saw a great many interracial families... the majority western ladies (mostly young and good looking though a few were older and plain) with nice looking, nicely dressed Balinese men.

Many Balinese people, when they discovered that I am living in Thailand, wanted to know if it was true that everywhere in Thailand Thai women are "for sale". They told me male tourist often came to Bali and complained that Thailand was better for procuring women-they often shortened their trips so as to get back to Thailand where they could score. Funny how God's gift is most successful in a particular country...are Bali women beached whales, or

"ANGRY

CONTROLLING

UGLY

FAT

OLD

TO BOSSY

MONEY HUNGRY

etc etc

????

The men who stereotype any women into such unflattering categories-I suspect that it is to them that such descriptions are aptly applied and this is why they have fled their home countries and despise western women so ardently!

For those men who can’t contain their misogyny toward western women, must you persist on posting your hateful comments to a section intended for information and friendly banter among Farang Ladies???? Please stop…it is very offensive and unnecessary to say the least! Save it for the confidences of your lovely TGs who hang on your every charming, god-gifted word.

[sbk]

Watch out Scarlett, the thought police will get you! Some posters seem to think that it is perfectly alright for the men to say awful things about farang women but WHOA! watch out if you say anything in return! Naughty naughty, nice girls shouldn't say things that aren't nice!

[munchkin]

scarlett - you're my idol. wish i could write that clearly! good on ya gal!

[marquess]

Scarlett, there are beautiful women all over the world including farang women. Personally I don;t think that you can beat the varitey of a eye colour and hair shades that Caucausian women have.

However the genetic tendency is that once they have had child or over the age of 35 it really shows. Also I have found that in Western countries, women tend to have the sexual power in their favour. Here of course this is not so. Once a man has tasted that freedom, it is difficult to go back to the way things were before. Personally for me it is mainly aesthetics.

[Maximus]

Hi ladies~ I will be relocating to Thailand (from New York) in a few weeks and wouldn't mind having some western female friends (I dislike using the word 'Farang', tends to be a bit derogatory!) to hang out with. I don't discriminate based on age, size, color or religious belief...I'm also fun, and not unpleasant to look at...so lets chat! Drinks are on me!

[Scarlett]

You are so right SBK, we bitches must not say anything that might goad our superior western comrades into reprimanding us for our innately inferior looks, personalities, and dispositions! However, after having tried to ignore the asinine comments by some men about women often posted on this and other Thailand expat boards I am totally fed up. Someone needs to set these losers straight. So, nice girl be gone…I don’t intend to be nice but very, very, naughty in deed!

Firstly, there are many decent men who post here-my message is only directed at the ones who make fair game of the fairer sex. So to them I say, bring it on! To begin with, I would confidently go up against any of these dorks in a beauty contest. I’m 7 months pregnant and I am certain that at least half of them would have a bigger belly than I currently do-but watch out, 2 months from now my midriff will have amazingly slenderized while the world and your lovely TG will be stuck gazing at your cute beached whale belly for time immemorial. The other half of them will lose out on account of their follicular condition, lacking on top and prolific from eyebrow to ankle…but I forgot, Thai ladies love bald-headed apes.

A majority will also be docked for their hideous skin conditions-what are those craters, legions, and crap growing on your face? Ewwww, and those yellow and brown, plaque encrusted, crooked teeth-may I recommend the excellent services of the Dental Hospital on Sukumvit Soi 39? Most of these guys could use a Thailand long-stay in Bangkok at the cosmetic surgeons to correct their hideous aquiline shnozzes, their sagging turkey-gizzard necks hanging from their grossly receding chins, and their wrinkled-weather beaten-aging skin, (and this is just for a start). And guys, bag the luggage, don’t lug the baggage -those under eye areas are rife for improvement as well!

Come to think of it, now that I am forcing myself to relive the horror of looking at these cretins in public, it has dawned on me that perhaps they are not fleeing their home countries in search of an easy place to score, rather they might have been made to leave on account of their unsightly physical predicament!

If the hapless contestants are even able to pass the swimsuit portion of the competition, they will undoubtedly fail in the fashion, talent, and personality segments. Most of these ugly, aging hypocrites look more like bedraggled castaways (I’d cast ‘em away) than suave conquistadores, judging from their wardrobes. I suppose when Thai women are clamoring to rip off your clothing and get you naked into bed, it makes good economic sense to be clad in rags and cheap disposable tourist duds.

Talent? Let’s see-when the question comes up about what you plan to do when you grow up and how you can make a difference in the world make sure to state in your typical pedantic rhetoric those highly novel business and social plans you have in store here in Thailand. Explain first, your very original ideas to open a bar or restaurant that will be a huge smash in this backward place. You will succeed where others continually fail because you know what western tourists want. You will hire nice looking Thai girls to lure tourists in and keep them captive drinkers and eaters. Not only will you be a popular pimp-daddy, but you will accomplish goal two-making a difference in the world -when you provide well needed employment to poor upcountry Thai girls as bar girl/hookers. In addition, sex tourists will undoubtedly be dazzled and unable to leave their bar-stools as you recount your scintillating exploits with Thai girls a fraction of your age and your fascinating insights into the physical and emotional makeup of farang women.

None will make it through the personality phase-after all your habit of cutting down women and making trite generalizations is not very cute or endearing to anyone. You only come out looking like a sore loser!

However the genetic tendency is that once they have had child or over the age of 35 it really shows. Also I have found that in Western countries, women tend to have the sexual power in their favour. Here of course this is not so. Once a man has tasted that freedom, it is difficult to go back to the way things were before. Personally for me it is mainly aesthetics.

In response to this person’s comment. You sound like a nice fellow, your comments are fair enough. However, I hope to point out that you are misguided in your assessment.You must have never visited the Netherlands-I can tell you that Hitler was correct in his theory that the Dutch were genetically superior to all physically. Dutch people do have it all: long legs, thin frames, tall well proportioned bodies, wide chiseled faces, flawless skin…more specifically, you wouldn’t know to look at a Dutch woman’s perfect figure that she has a whole flock of children at home. By the way, when asked, The Dutch modestly attribute their fine physiques to their love of cycling.

On the other hand, Thai ladies apparently have an unfortunate pre-disposition toward grotesque stretch-marks and saggy bellies from pregnancy. I learned this first hand from all the Thai women who have advised me on my pregnancy. I also verified this on the infamous Stickman site where many a farang man has posted his horror story of taking a hot Thai chick back to his place only to be forced to overlook her twisted and scarred stomach while having cheap missionary-position sex with her (the nerve of these girls!)

Incidentally western ladies, Stickman’s site is a must-read if you want to see what these winners are up to and how their little minds think. Basically, it boils down to the two part saga we all have suspected: how and where to go to get the naughtiest sex with the youngest and best looking girl at the cheapest price and least commitment. Next saga: shocked and stunned-I thought she loved me but she was only using me for money, poor me she seemed so different! How can I make her play fair???

But who wants more insight into their minds? My preference is that they would quit sharing their unsavory opinions of us and focus on solutions to visa and expat problems. So long as they continue their inarticulate tirades, I promise to lambaste them with litany in kind. Bring it on losers!!!

[sbk]

OOH, go get 'em tiger! I bring up intelligent rebuttals i.e. all thai men go with farang girls because the girls pay for everything by pointing out that my husband doesn't need my money and am lambasted for being money oriented!

Perhaps fighting fire with fire makes more sense than my approach. Why oh why do I always think some people will actually get it if it is pointed out to them? When, usually, their pointy little minds are already made up and it wouldn't matter what I said because it would make no difference anyway? Maybe this is the true fault of women, we always expect too much from people (common sense, compassion, empathy)??

Be prepared Scarlett! Oh, and check out the farang man/farang girl posting--look like your area of expertise!

[Scarlett]

Yes, I noticed that hypocrisy about money directed toward you before. You were merely making a very valid point-I for one knew exactly what you meant-your Thai husband wasn't involved with you over money.

These guys must be frustrated with their own situations. Actually, I don't get it-they claim that back in the west women are materialistic and overly concerned with money. They come here, they trade money for sex, they buy expensive gold jewelry and pay for everything for the girls they like, upon marriage they must pay a dowry and they are expected to pay for all sorts of other familial debts and duties. They are ripped off and sometimes killed over money and property by TG and Thai wives, and yet they still uphold their skewed beliefs about western women. What gives?

They most definitely are from a different generation than am I, -I don't have a single friend back home that lives off a boyfriend or husband, every single girl I know pays her part. And let me state here in anticipation of the cretin's urge to comment-that every single friend I have back home is absolutely gorgeous, talented, and smart...the biggest concern for women in the west nowadays is to actually locate a man of their own physical and mental caliber who isn't a bum, a loadie, or a sponge. Hmmm, maybe this could be the answer to why the men here struck out back home and hate western women????

[mrentoul]

who isn't a bum, a loadie, or a sponge

That just might describe most westerners living here...you never know.

[marquess]

In response to this person’s comment. You sound like a nice fellow, your comments are fair enough. However, I hope to point out that you are misguided in your assessment.You must have never visited the Netherlands-I can tell you that Hitler was correct in his theory that the Dutch were genetically superior to all physically. Dutch people do have it all: long legs, thin frames, tall well proportioned bodies, wide chiseled faces, flawless skin…more specifically, you wouldn’t know to look at a Dutch woman’s perfect figure that she has a whole flock of children at home. By the way, when asked, The Dutch modestly attribute their fine physiques to their love of cycling.

On the other hand, Thai ladies apparently have an unfortunate pre-disposition toward grotesque stretch-marks and saggy bellies from pregnancy. I learned this first hand from all the Thai women who have advised me on my pregnancy. I also verified this on the infamous Stickman site where many a farang man has posted his horror story of taking a hot Thai chick back to his place only to be forced to overlook her twisted and scarred stomach while having cheap missionary-position sex with her (the nerve of these girls!)

Incidentally western ladies, Stickman’s site is a must-read if you want to see what these winners are up to and how their little minds think. Basically, it boils down to the two part saga we all have suspected: how and where to go to get the naughtiest sex with the youngest and best looking girl at the cheapest price and least commitment. Next saga: shocked and stunned-I thought she loved me but she was only using me for money, poor me she seemed so different! How can I make her play fair???

Truth is that flesh is an illusion, whilst your comments about stretch marks are true. Unless you are possesed of x-ray vision, they are not usually visable through clothing. There is no such thing as perfection in flesh or anything else. However that which destroys the illusion only helps to show it for what it truely is.

As to the other woman talking about Farang men paying for everything. I have been married to a Thai woman for the last three years. During which time all bills and household expenses are shared. From the start of our relationship I made this quite clear. My wife has often asked me to buy her gold. My reply, is what good will it do you when you are long gone and it is still here, in the hands of another? Would you not rather broaden your experiences by travelling the world? I will leave you got guess the answer. No doubt there are those who wish to pay for everything, and good luck to them! I however have had to work for all that I have and do not intend to subsidise someone who is prepared to do nothing. I am sure that I am not the only farang man here with that attitude. Over to you Scarlett!

[Skywise]

Yawn, going, going, gone

Edited December 24, 2003 by Boo

[stocknowledge]

As Shakespeare would say: "Me thinks the lady doth protest too much."

[mrentoul]

Say what you like, but dammit, she can write!

[Skywise]

Boring, edited cause he's a moron

Edited December 24, 2003 by Boo

[Scarlett]

You sound pretty smart encouraging your wife to see the world instead of wearing gold. It would be good for Thailand if more of their people traveled outside their country. The few Thais I know who spent time abroad seem to be better business and sales people - at least that is my little observation.

One of my neighbors is monitarily shrewd with his TG to the point of, well lets just say I've heard her complaining that he won't buy a TV because he hates watching it. We westerners know that its his strategy to keep her cleaning and cooking-really this poor lady seems like a virtual slave. Of course, what he doesn't know is that she skims money and pads the prices of things when he sends her to buy things. I think she ought to buy her own darn TV set with the embezzled cash.

[taxexile]

there are lots of western/asian men in thailand purely for the ease in which they can find younger sexual partners for fun .if that is what makes them both happy then so be it.

a lot of men claim that in supporting a thai bargirl they are performing a selfless public service. my view is that are making the girl dependant on the controlling influence of the man and encouraging laziness and avarice.the men see their donations as generosity, the girls see the men as a meal ticket. love does not enter the equation

some men marry bargirls and form satisfying and longstanding relationships with them. lucky them.mutual love forms part of the equation.

to western eyes, thai girls have a beauty and femininity that is very different from western women, and its not only physical.

but it is alluring.

thai women have developed flattery and the acceptance of compliments to a fine art. the westerner bombarded by this onslaught needs to understand that this kind of flattery is all part of thai social interaction and the sub-text of it is very different to western compliments. praise a woman for her looks or femininity in the west and you can find yourself in court or in the headlines.

if a western woman praises a man for his looks, it will be interpreted as flirtation.

the thais will praise quasimodo for his looks to enable him to feel comfortable.

the stereotypical submissive thai girl does not exist. they can assert themselves and more when they feel it necessary.

as for relationships with bargirls, a lot of men like feed their egos by being seen with pretty women,but when you cant converse more than a few words or explore views and thoughts in depth, then the relationship is bound to come to grief when the sexual thrill wears off

but there is little of the mixing of roles in the relationship. the male is expected to provide certain things for the female and the female is expected to provide certain things for the man.its equality,but not as we know or understand it in the west. its not black and white, from what i've seen the girls here run rings around the men. thats in a way due to the fact that if the man cant speak good thai in thailand then he is at a great disadvantage and its easy for misunderstandings and suspicions to arise.

as for the men that slag off western women with silly insults etc. well they are just inadequates unable to relate to women in any other role other than client/prostitute. they should stick to what they are happy with and wash their mouths out with soap.

to scarlett,your postings are terrific, keep em'coming.

if you want to see men at their absolute rock bottom,self esteem wise, then go to the bangkok tonite forum, its linked to this site..(i dont know why).. and is inhabited by degenerate sex tourists and expats.it really is a damp dark basement of thought,but it does make fascinating reading and will make you glad that you are in a good relationship with your husband. stickman is the archbishop of canterbury by comparison to some of the characters in bangkok tonite.

but at the end of the day, there is room on this planet for all sorts and if these guys are happy with their lives then good for them. happiness is a commodity in short supply and people find it in different ways.

[maerim]

Scarlett

You are not a bad act but you are on a bit too long.

It's O.K. I asked my Thai better half (without stretchmarks by the way)if it was O.K. to say this.

[sbk]

Well, we can certainly ignore the comments of skywise, if anyone is bitter from bad relationships it is that person.

as for the men that slag off western women with silly insults etc. well they are just inadequates unable to relate to women in any other role other than client/prostitute. they should stick to what they are happy with and wash their mouths out with soap.

well said.

As for taxexile, interesting comments, I see alot of truth in what you say but also I would hate to say it applies to all Thai women. I know many straightforward ones, many independent ones. I think, if you meet educated Thai women you will find that many of them don't deal in this manner anymore. As women gain some equality in this country you will find them more and more in charge (who is head of the Dusit chain of hotels? A Thai woman) and a woman can't get into a position of importance by flattery and dependence upon men.

Marquess, just might add, I said nothing about farang men paying for everything, I objected to someone saying that the farang women pay for everything and that's how they get thai men!

[taxexile]

As for taxexile, interesting comments, I see alot of truth in what you say but also I would hate to say it applies to all Thai women. I know many straightforward ones, many independent ones. I think, if you meet educated Thai women you will find that many of them don't deal in this manner anymore. As women gain some equality in this country you will find them more and more in charge (who is head of the Dusit chain of hotels? A Thai woman) and a woman can't get into a position of importance by flattery and dependence upon men.

i didnt intend my comments to apply to all thai women. in my opinion thai women are much stronger than thai men, most men in fact. they run most businesses here

even if the ceo is a man.

as for the flattery that i mentioned, its not flattery with a view to seduction or deception, its a part of thai social intercourse to pay compliments and make everybody feel good/welcome in a non-confrontational atmosphere.

the fact that foriegn males interpret it as something else has led to endless misunderstandings between thai females (who are not from the "entertainment" industry) and foriegners.

i dont see well defined roles within a relationship as a sign of dependance either.

even if in some cases those roles would be seen as old -fashioned in the west.

these days economic necessity here as in the west is changing those roles and i believe that along with those changes will come family fragmentation and break-ups just as it has happened in the west.

judge it as progress or a backward step for society as you wish.

[Scarlett]

Tax Exile, I like your post-I'm with you on most everything you said.

To snide dumbass-you were exactly the irritating worm I intended to lure out from the crevice of the moldy rock you live under...gee, it was too easy. Now let us see, I looked up your posts and out of 24 to date, 18 have been in the Farang Girls section, most of which are maligning western women. Makes one wonder about you, and why you are so eager to muster negative consensus about us!

Scarlet is nothing more than a bitter hag who has (it seems) had relationships with some rather hideous looking men. I find your Jealous rant quite amusing, and a bit sad. Might I suggest you go find a stretch of sand to beach yourself upon. 

Good for you snide-dumbass for finally learning how to spell "beach" . Incidentally, unaided by your sarcastic little suggestion, I have found myself a rather nice stretch of beach in a very desirable area. It is the highlight of my existence here in Thailand to wake up with my gorgeous husband each morning and look out the window of the awesome house we built on the beautiful sandy shore we chose to beach ourselves upon.

Now go crawl back under your musty old rock you insignificant little worm before I continue my Orca-like pounding upon your withered, slimy existence!

[Boo]

Dear all, As fun as it has been for me to read all of these posts (& to remove all of skywises poisionous ones) I think it is time to close the thread.

Personal attraction is exactly that, personal, & as I have said before, if you don't like farang women, fine, but please keep the insulting comments to yourself, I for one couldn't give a monkey's, up to you, as the thais like to say.

P.S Skywise has been banned for 121 days & anyone else who chooses to ignore my previous comments will go the same way. Got it.