Parrot Shooting

[Boon Mee]

One day, a man decided to learn some new sports. He spent some time finding

out what was available for him, but after a few months, he called some of his

friends out to watch him trying out some of his ideas.

They all followed him up to the top of a local cliff. Not a big cliff, but still they were puzzled about why he had taken them there.

"Let me show you," he said, and produced from a cage a small yellow bird. He held the bird by the feet, and proceeded to jump off the cliff.

His friends were obviously worried, but he was fine, albeit slightly bruised, and returned to the top of the cliff.

"Well, " he said, after a pause, "I don't think much of this budgie-jumping."

So, then he revealed that he had also brought a chicken with him. His friends

were forced to watch an almost identical sequence of events all over again.

Once again, he hit the sand at the bottom of the cliff, trudged back to the

top, and said to his by now growing audience, "Hen-gliding doesn't seem to

work for me either."

Finally, he tried once more. This time, it was a parrot. Again, he leapt off the cliff holding the unfortunate bird by the feet. This time though, as he jumped, he pulled out a hand gun, and shot the bird as he fell.

The end results were pretty much the same, though, and he arrived at the top of the cliff with yet more bruises.

The crowd waited to hear what he would say this time....

He paused, scratched his head, and opened his mouth.

The crowd hushed....

Finally, he said: "And that's the last time I try parrot-shooting too."

[Emiia Buhus]

Two Irish menwalk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat''s dem!" The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we''ll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag."

The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry''s van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?" says Gerry.

"Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy. They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss.

"I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a ''SPLAT''. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, "dis budgie jumpin'' is too dangerous for me!"

A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop. He walks up, carrying the familiar peeper bag. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.

"Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot''s head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry''s remains at the bottom.

Paddy shakes his head and says, "An'' oim never troyin'' dat parrotshooting nider!"

A few minutes after Seamus splats himself, Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar ''peeper bag''. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself off the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy shakes his head. "First der was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now you, hen gliding!"