If I Died In Thailand / If My Wife Died In Uk ?

[scorpio]

after seeing my wifes father pass away last week it has really got me thinking . my wife and i have 1 baby 2 year old girl , if my wife died in uk what could i do ? i mean we couldnt get her buried in uk , nor would i or she want to !! if any of us die we want to be cremated in our villiage in thailand. if i were to die in uk i have told my wife to cremate me in uk but take my ashes to thailand . if i were to die in thailand then could i be cremated in our villiage wat ? i hate the thought of being buried in uk !! my wife and i dont want to go back there but she has to for our daughters school and we do not have a lot of money to stay out here in thailand. i think this is a really valid question as not a lot of people really think about it but i have had hep b in last year ( my wife is also hep b carrier ) and i also have to go back to uk to see a consultant and check for cancer as i have pain in my stomach/ blood in my urine and pain in testes ( i missed my last appointment with him and they wanted to keep me in for tests. ) so its not me being negitive or morbid but a really valid question which i need answers to from anyone who has been in our situation.

p.s there is only me, wife and 2 year old baby, i have no family whatsoever in uk, my wifes family in thailand are very very poor so no support or anything from anyone. is it time to take out life/ health insurance now and with which company ? an insurance company in uk wouldnt touch me with a bargepole i dont think. i smoke and drink and have a few health concerns in past and also as i say my wife is hep b .

no funny remarks please as this has got me thinking now especially as we have a 2 year old baby and apart from her parents she has nothing else left in this world and will be alone !!

THANKS IN ADVANCE

[Beetlejuice]

You and your wife have certainly had problems in the past.

Only need to check out your previous threads.

So are you and your wife back together now or planning to stay together for the future?

The reason I ask is; because if not, then your questions on this thread are extraneous.

Edited November 18, 2011 by Beetlejuice

[trevorg]

Scorpio

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with Beetlejuice. You seem to be jumping from 1 disaster thread to another. I feel sorry for your baby daughter. Perhaps you should try giving up drinking and smoking and save that money for your daughter, in a way that she will be able to benefit should you and your wife separate/ die whether that be in the UK or Thailand. It may also help with your depressive tendencies?

There is plenty of information on the internet and maybe ThaiVisa is not the best place for you to 'hang out' with your problems.

I wish you and your family the best of luck.

[scorpio]

that is correct we are going through some very testing times ( who doesnt in their lives at some point ? ) in hindsight i would of thought long and hard about jumping into a marriage with a lady from a different culture and also bringing a baby into the world. though we are back together now ( hopefully for good ) even for the babies sake and i have got work offshore secured for next 2 years ( fingers crossed ) my daughter has got £22 per week paid into a trust fund from she was born 2 years 7 months now and we will continue to get her as much money into her account as long as i am around. yeah lifes a bitch but ive had friends who have went through much worse than me/us ( i can tell you some horror stories , but you,ve allready heard them a million times and read the book ) though my question still remains unanswered.

thanks

[South]

It makes no difference, we're all going to be worm food at some stage. Might sound ruthless, but it's reality!

Just try and do/provide as much as you can now for your daughter's future. Good luck.

[trevorg]

that is correct we are going through some very testing times ( who doesnt in their lives at some point ? ) in hindsight i would of thought long and hard about jumping into a marriage with a lady from a different culture and also bringing a baby into the world. though we are back together now ( hopefully for good ) even for the babies sake and i have got work offshore secured for next 2 years ( fingers crossed ) my daughter has got £22 per week paid into a trust fund from she was born 2 years 7 months now and we will continue to get her as much money into her account as long as i am around. yeah lifes a bitch but ive had friends who have went through much worse than me/us ( i can tell you some horror stories , but you,ve allready heard them a million times and read the book ) though my question still remains unanswered.

thanks

Skorpio, your question remains unanswered! Your original post contained 3 questions - as follows.

if my wife died in uk what could i do ?

could i be cremated in our villiage wat ?

is it time to take out life/ health insurancenow and with which company ?

Your'e second post on this thread had rhetorical question who doesnt in their lives at some point ?

I will answer each of these and offer some further advice.

1) find the money to either have a funeral ceremony in the UK and her buried (expensive) or cremated, or have her dead body sent back to Thailand (really expensive) and cremated.

2) Yes, providing you have donated and left sufficient money to pay for your own funeral at the village Wat (and you haven't topped yourself)

3) Life and Health insurance are two completely different subjects. If you can only afford 22 quid a week into your daughters trust fund, then I doubt you will be able to afford a reasonable insurance policy for either (if you give up smoking and drinking, then you may have a spare 60 quid a week that you could spend on these insurance policies)

4) (Apologies for answering your rhetorical question). You're right, everyone has to go through and deal with testing times in our lives.

You say that you have 'offshore' work secured for 2 years. Is this 'offshore' away from your wife and child and if so, are they 'left in the UK' or back 'home' in Thailand. You need to be thinking about your daughter, work offshore and put every 'un-taxed' pound/ dollar/baht' into her trust fund. Things may seem tough at the moment, you, and only you can step up and make changes in your life to push forward!

Again, I wish you and your family the best! You know that you can do it!

[Mario2008]

You can decide where and how you want your funaral arrranged.

If you die in Thailand you can be cremated at the local temple without any problems. Only if you are not married will your embassy contact your family to see how they want to proceed with your funeral (and if they are willing to pay for the repatriation of the body).

Make a will and also state your wishes regarding your funeral in it. makes it clear for everyone.

[travelmann]

you'll be dead , get over it its not like youll be worrying about it is it?

[mikecwm]

Am I right in thinking that existing health problems are not usually covered if you take out medical insurance? Or at least if they are covered the premium is beyond what most people could afford.

Advice given above to give up smoking and drinking and put that money conscientously into a fund for your daughter seems like a good move.

The comment that when you're dead you don't worry anymore may work for some, but won't help your dependants. Plus - if the Buddhists (or followers of "A Course In Miracles', as I am - similar to Buddhism, but with the beginning and end bits explained to my satisfaction), are right, then you will still have to deal with any decisions made in this lifetime, in a future lifetime.

Good luck and good planning.

[Ricardo]

If your Thai wife died in the UK, might it not perhaps be possible to have her cremated, at one of the Thai wats there ?

And a farang friend died here in Chiang Mai, a few years ago, and was buried in the local foreigners-cemetary.

Just a thought. :jap:

[scorpio]

the reason i ask also about my wife is she has stated " i die soon for sure " bizzarre !!! also threatened to kill herself. if you see previous posts i think she suffers from post natal or even manic depression but this she does not recognise, have tried to get her on anti depressents 2 times but after 2-3 days she fails to take her " happy medicine" i am thinking ahead and i am thinking about the future of our baby girl who will be left alone. also will be taking advice ( which i know allready ) and will be ploughing as much money as possible into my daughters fund.

Edited November 20, 2011 by scorpio

[thaibeachlovers]

You should be able to find out the cost of cremation in either country, and put aside enough to cover that. It's all the extra stuff that ramps up the cost, so if you just go for the cheapest coffin and no service etc should be able to do reasonably cheaply.

Remember that the service etc is for the benefit of those left behind, not for yourself, so ask her what she wants and put aside enough accordingly.

[MrMuddle]

You can decide where and how you want your funaral arrranged.

If you die in Thailand you can be cremated at the local temple without any problems. Only if you are not married will your embassy contact your family to see how they want to proceed with your funeral (and if they are willing to pay for the repatriation of the body).

Make a will and also state your wishes regarding your funeral in it. makes it clear for everyone.

I've been to several funerals in the small village where I live. The days before the cremation have monks chanting at the family home, and through the night various undesirables appear (it's the same bunch at every funeral), who do all kinds of gambling, (and trick the locals out of their money), and eating and drinking at the bereaved family's expense. The police seem to turn a blind eye to this gambling at funerals, though I suspect, there's "tea money" to be had. Personally I hate gambling, I think it's just an excuse for fools to lose their money.

If I put in my will that i don't want gambling at my funeral, what would the consequences be for my wife (assuming I die first). I did mention this to her, but she got really upset, and made comments about did I want her to be alone all night, with my body. Any idea why she doesn't want me to specify this ?

[Kimera]

You can decide where and how you want your funaral arrranged.

If you die in Thailand you can be cremated at the local temple without any problems. Only if you are not married will your embassy contact your family to see how they want to proceed with your funeral (and if they are willing to pay for the repatriation of the body).

Make a will and also state your wishes regarding your funeral in it. makes it clear for everyone.

I've been to several funerals in the small village where I live. The days before the cremation have monks chanting at the family home, and through the night various undesirables appear (it's the same bunch at every funeral), who do all kinds of gambling, (and trick the locals out of their money), and eating and drinking at the bereaved family's expense. The police seem to turn a blind eye to this gambling at funerals, though I suspect, there's "tea money" to be had. Personally I hate gambling, I think it's just an excuse for fools to lose their money.

If I put in my will that i don't want gambling at my funeral, what would the consequences be for my wife (assuming I die first). I did mention this to her, but she got really upset, and made comments about did I want her to be alone all night, with my body. Any idea why she doesn't want me to specify this ?

Very common its simple at a funeral who wants to stay and eat for maybe as long as three days, the family will encourage people to stay and (sometimes will pay) as friends for the deceased until their time comes to go (ie keep them company) gambling is permitted for this reason (in some areas) by the police. Your wife wants you not to be alone when you go!!

[onionluke]

There is a guy comes round our house once a month, in the village , and he collects 60 bhat as some kind of funeral charge cover at the local wat . My wife has reserved a place at the wat in some kind of burial wall . Personally I wish for my cremated ashes to be thrown to the wind .

[robblok]

There is a guy comes round our house once a month, in the village , and he collects 60 bhat as some kind of funeral charge cover at the local wat . My wife has reserved a place at the wat in some kind of burial wall . Personally I wish for my cremated ashes to be thrown to the wind .

Not to break your dream..but have you actually ever witnessed a thai cremation. Bones are left its not like a cremation in Europe or the US where there are only ashes left. So those bones go in that wall. Nothing is done with the ashes as far as i know.

[ludditeman]

There is a guy comes round our house once a month, in the village , and he collects 60 bhat as some kind of funeral charge cover at the local wat . My wife has reserved a place at the wat in some kind of burial wall . Personally I wish for my cremated ashes to be thrown to the wind .

Not to break your dream..but have you actually ever witnessed a thai cremation. Bones are left its not like a cremation in Europe or the US where there are only ashes left. So those bones go in that wall. Nothing is done with the ashes as far as i know.

Bones are left in the US and Europe too.

You just don't see them and they are ground up later, usually along with everyone else done that day.

Usually just chucked away, only a small portion of the ashes are put in an urn and given to relatives.

Edited November 21, 2011 by ludditeman

[jackr]

It makes no difference, we're all going to be worm food at some stage. Might sound ruthless, but it's reality!

Just try and do/provide as much as you can now for your daughter's future. Good luck.

Exactly. While I fully understand wanting to provide for those left behind, etc, does it really bother you that you may end up buried in the UK? What is the big deal? Forget cremation and screwing the atmosphere even more, get yourself in the ground and give back. It doesn't matter where.

I love this quote by Neil Degrasse Tyson, who owned a religious nut in the audience while giving a talk with Richard Dawkins:

"I would request that my body, in death, be buried, not cremated, so that the energy content contained within it gets returned to the earth, so that the flora and fauna can dine upon it, just as I've dined on flora and fauna throughout my life."

Fantastic.

Regards life insurance, try William Russel, who will also deal with expats.

[onionluke]

There is a guy comes round our house once a month, in the village , and he collects 60 bhat as some kind of funeral charge cover at the local wat . My wife has reserved a place at the wat in some kind of burial wall . Personally I wish for my cremated ashes to be thrown to the wind .

Not to break your dream..but have you actually ever witnessed a thai cremation. Bones are left its not like a cremation in Europe or the US where there are only ashes left. So those bones go in that wall. Nothing is done with the ashes as far as i know.

I'll need to amend my last will and testament and request to be cremated and have my bones thrown to the wind , uch I don't mind what they do as long as there is a piper and plenty of whisky .