DanielToddGilbert Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 ................... As for posters who comment saying that farangs who marry Thai women are some sort of losers that is true in some cases ofc. Many however are normal men who are professionals or retired. Some men who divorced later in life have the means to live overseas and marry a beautiful younger wife. Why should they marry an older woman from the west who may have a lot of baggage. Face the facts unless a man in his 40 - 50's is rich he isn't going to find many good choices of younger brides. Why should men settle for less if they don't have too? They don't have to that's why many of us are here. I want a woman that when she walks in a room she lights up the place with her radiant smile not lights up a fag and talks about the Jeremy Springer show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenBravo Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Seems to me life is short and happiness elusive. If you find it, grab it with both hands and dam_n what anybody else thinks. If it happens that an ex-bargirl makes you happy, so be it. Nobody else's business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 There seems to be a awful lot of double standard and social (if not racial) prejudice around here. Honestly, what's so bad about a person (girl) who accepts money for sex? And how is that different from a non-professional, whom you invite for a drink and dinner and then hop in the sac with her? She didn't get any cash, but a dinner (worth 5,000). Or shall I stretch it a bit? You "pay" a girl 20k (or whatever) per month and you got a paper saying she said "Yes" and has your name now. In addition to provide for the carnal pleasures, she also has to cook for you and wash your cloth. And guess what she gets when you call it quits? Half of what you have! How is that for taking to moral high grounds? A person is good or she is bad. Period. Just because she takes money for a shag does not necessarily make her a bad person. I would guess that if a marriage between a Bg and a farang fails, more likely than not it's not because she was a BG, but because the two were not compatible. He may have thought he was morally superior to her, hence condescending and judge-mental and could not adapt to her culture and social background. And if I say "social background", I don't mean the bar scene, I mean her upbringing in Isan (or wherever), her education and ethnic environment, which all clash with his and both were not capable of adjusting to that. It was just easier for him to meet her that way. But in which ever environment he would have met her and married her, it would have been a failure. So IMO whether or not she was a BG before marriage has little to do with success or failure of the marriage. Nice one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ludditeman Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 ................... As for posters who comment saying that farangs who marry Thai women are some sort of losers that is true in some cases ofc. Many however are normal men who are professionals or retired. Some men who divorced later in life have the means to live overseas and marry a beautiful younger wife. Why should they marry an older woman from the west who may have a lot of baggage. Face the facts unless a man in his 40 - 50's is rich he isn't going to find many good choices of younger brides. Why should men settle for less if they don't have too? Don't agree with you. One of my colleague who's working in our European HQ, in her 40's, just got remarried a few month ago. We were chatting on the phone and she was joking there is a huge second hand market, people who have been married for 10-20 year and divorced or lose their other half and find they are too young to stay alone for the rest of their life. Of course you won't get a young girl half your age unless she has very good "motivation" . But decent people, there is no shortage. How many children do you think she can produce with him? If the answer is none, then why get married? No point in getting second hand if it's not in full working order IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardholder Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 ................... As for posters who comment saying that farangs who marry Thai women are some sort of losers that is true in some cases ofc. Many however are normal men who are professionals or retired. Some men who divorced later in life have the means to live overseas and marry a beautiful younger wife. Why should they marry an older woman from the west who may have a lot of baggage. Face the facts unless a man in his 40 - 50's is rich he isn't going to find many good choices of younger brides. Why should men settle for less if they don't have too? Don't agree with you. One of my colleague who's working in our European HQ, in her 40's, just got remarried a few month ago. We were chatting on the phone and she was joking there is a huge second hand market, people who have been married for 10-20 year and divorced or lose their other half and find they are too young to stay alone for the rest of their life. Of course you won't get a young girl half your age unless she has very good "motivation" . But decent people, there is no shortage. I don't fancy women of my own age - Thai or Western. Looks like I will just have to settle for being a loser with my partner who is 20 years younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakeopete Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 From what I've seen in my neck of the woods I don't think former occupation has much to do with it. If you associate with normal Thais you will see that every criticism posters are making about bar girls is true about non bar girls in Thailand (and the rest of the world) also. Its not about their former job but the morals of the person no matter where they are from. I haven't met many Thai/Farang couples in my area and of the couples we have met I don't know for sure if the women were bar girls. Only one of the couples have had there relationship go sour. The others seem like normal family people (kids go to same school as our kids) that seem happy. Seems a better success rate if you compare to divorce rates in the west. As for posters who comment saying that farangs who marry Thai women are some sort of losers that is true in some cases ofc. Many however are normal men who are professionals or retired. Some men who divorced later in life have the means to live overseas and marry a beautiful younger wife. Why should they marry an older woman from the west who may have a lot of baggage. Face the facts unless a man in his 40 - 50's is rich he isn't going to find many good choices of younger brides. Why should men settle for less if they don't have too? The "loser" tag assumes these guys tried & failed to snag a western woman, and had to "settle" for a Thai woman. This is often a slur made by western women because they don't understand why men would be attracted to women from a different culture and who speak a different language. I don't think they understand there is a strong genetic attraction that drives a lot of men to marry and have children with "opposites" to their genetic makeup. Not to mention the natural allure of Asian femininity, I like girly girls and the softness and demure of Asian women is hard to beat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Lovely thread. If 2 people can find happiness without damaging themselves or others, bless them and all the best. BTW, the comments about how western women have "burnt" western guys forcing them into the arms of bargirls illustrates why the guys got dumped: It's always someone else's fault. It takes 2 to have a fight and if one looks at some of the losers that saturate the beer bar venues, is it any wonder why the western ladies escaped the clutches of such losers? The man that can say, hey I found her interesting, and we clicked vs, the man that says the western women forced his hand blah blah blah. Who do you think will end up crying the blues in TVF after his Thai ladyf riend dumps him? Who do you think is probably having a happy life and may actually have a loving relationship? In any case if you want true love, please visit SCAD Bangkok or SoiDog as they have forever friends waiting for a home. Very well said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JurgenG Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 The "loser" tag assumes these guys tried & failed to snag a western woman, and had to "settle" for a Thai woman. This is often a slur made by western women because they don't understand why men would be attracted to women from a different culture and who speak a different language. I don't think they understand there is a strong genetic attraction that drives a lot of men to marry and have children with "opposites" to their genetic makeup. No, You get it wrong. There is no culture or race war. I have a couple of friends in their 40's / 50's even one in his 60's who found love in Thailand with "compatible" ladies (age, education, ...). And nobody, here or back home, has problem with that. The problem is with BG, not Thai women Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TingTawng Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Seems to me life is short and happiness elusive. If you find it, grab it with both hands and dam_n what anybody else thinks. If it happens that an ex-bargirl makes you happy, so be it. Nobody else's business. Well KarenBravo, for me this is truest comment in all these threads - you are right. Happiness is not prescriptive. Nobody can say do X, Y and Z and you'll be happy. If a person is truly happy with whatever their circumstances, it takes a bitter person to somehow argue against their happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TingTawng Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 From what I've seen in my neck of the woods I don't think former occupation has much to do with it. If you associate with normal Thais you will see that every criticism posters are making about bar girls is true about non bar girls in Thailand (and the rest of the world) also. Its not about their former job but the morals of the person no matter where they are from. I haven't met many Thai/Farang couples in my area and of the couples we have met I don't know for sure if the women were bar girls. Only one of the couples have had there relationship go sour. The others seem like normal family people (kids go to same school as our kids) that seem happy. Seems a better success rate if you compare to divorce rates in the west. As for posters who comment saying that farangs who marry Thai women are some sort of losers that is true in some cases ofc. Many however are normal men who are professionals or retired. Some men who divorced later in life have the means to live overseas and marry a beautiful younger wife. Why should they marry an older woman from the west who may have a lot of baggage. Face the facts unless a man in his 40 - 50's is rich he isn't going to find many good choices of younger brides. Why should men settle for less if they don't have too? The "loser" tag assumes these guys tried & failed to snag a western woman, and had to "settle" for a Thai woman. This is often a slur made by western women because they don't understand why men would be attracted to women from a different culture and who speak a different language. I don't think they understand there is a strong genetic attraction that drives a lot of men to marry and have children with "opposites" to their genetic makeup. Not to mention the natural allure of Asian femininity, I like girly girls and the softness and demure of Asian women is hard to beat. Yes - there is a lot to the gene diversity theories. Why would we NOT find the opposite attractive when gene diversity has so many benefits to offspring. It makes sense that nature would give men such an attraction to opposites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metisdead Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Profanity posts have been removed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Seems to me life is short and happiness elusive. If you find it, grab it with both hands and dam_n what anybody else thinks. If it happens that an ex-bargirl makes you happy, so be it. Nobody else's business. Spot on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinbin Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 (edited) Seems to me life is short and happiness elusive. If you find it, grab it with both hands and dam_n what anybody else thinks. If it happens that an ex-bargirl makes you happy, so be it. Nobody else's business. Well KarenBravo, for me this is truest comment in all these threads - you are right. It has to be worst comment of all on this thread.The lower quote is much better. Marry in haste, (and) repent at leisure. Prov. If you marry someone you do not know well, or decide to marry someone without first carefully considering what you are doing, you will probably regret it for a long time. Edited December 3, 2011 by sinbin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hooters Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Seems to me life is short and happiness elusive. Spot on! Life is not short, its the longest thing you can do Your life will seem never ending if you choose a wrong partner in haste or low morale standards choose wisely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ludditeman Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Life is not short, its the longest thing you can do Your life will seem never ending if you choose a wrong partner in haste or low morale standards choose wisely I spent two years choosing my UK wife (she had high moral standards, aka completely up herself), it was the most miserable 25 years of my life. I spent one week choosing my Thai partner, it has been the happiest two years of my life. My experiences are so entirely contrary to the 'superior posters' advice that I begin to believe that I am living in an entirely different reality or alternatively am certifiably insane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hooters Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Life is not short, its the longest thing you can do Your life will seem never ending if you choose a wrong partner in haste or low morale standards choose wisely I spent two years choosing my UK wife (she had high moral standards, aka completely up herself), it was the most miserable 25 years of my life. I spent one week choosing my Thai partner, it has been the happiest two years of my life. My experiences are so entirely contrary to the 'superior posters' advice that I begin to believe that I am living in an entirely different reality or alternatively am certifiably insane. you got lucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geriatrickid Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Not to mention the natural allure of Asian femininity, I like girly girls and the softness and demure of Asian women is hard to beat. Then the Thai ladyboy is for you as they can be quite girly. I am willing to wager my left nut that some of the bitterness expressed in this thread arises from guys that picked up ladyboys and are too ashamed to admit that they either had a preference for one or were confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardholder Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Life is not short, its the longest thing you can do Your life will seem never ending if you choose a wrong partner in haste or low morale standards choose wisely I spent two years choosing my UK wife (she had high moral standards, aka completely up herself), it was the most miserable 25 years of my life. I spent one week choosing my Thai partner, it has been the happiest two years of my life. My experiences are so entirely contrary to the 'superior posters' advice that I begin to believe that I am living in an entirely different reality or alternatively am certifiably insane. you got lucky He is not alone.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klikster Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Im constantly seeing people (myself inc) being slandered by others on tv about getting involved with an x bar girl or a poor farm girl So you decide to slander "poor farm girls" by implication with "bar girls". FYI, not all poor farm girls work in bars. Nor are all bar girls poor farm girls. You might want to get your own thinking straight before criticizing others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TingTawng Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Seems to me life is short and happiness elusive. If you find it, grab it with both hands and dam_n what anybody else thinks. If it happens that an ex-bargirl makes you happy, so be it. Nobody else's business. Well KarenBravo, for me this is truest comment in all these threads - you are right. It has to be worst comment of all on this thread.The lower quote is much better. Marry in haste, (and) repent at leisure. Prov. If you marry someone you do not know well, or decide to marry someone without first carefully considering what you are doing, you will probably regret it for a long time. I agree with the quote you supply - spot on. It also doesn't contradict what KarenBravo is saying. He's saying IF you find happiness, then go for it, and dam_n everyone else and what they think. In a sense, all us farangs go through this to a lesser / greater extent when we marry a Thai - bar girl or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TingTawng Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Not to mention the natural allure of Asian femininity, I like girly girls and the softness and demure of Asian women is hard to beat. Then the Thai ladyboy is for you as they can be quite girly. I am willing to wager my left nut that some of the bitterness expressed in this thread arises from guys that picked up ladyboys and are too ashamed to admit that they either had a preference for one or were confused. Hey everyone, somebody made a joke about ladyboys, and guys mistaking them for women! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 I don't fancy women of my own age - Thai or Western. Looks like I will just have to settle for being a loser with my partner who is 20 years younger. I am very sympathetic to your affliction.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapoon Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Only read a few pages _ I worked for a while in a university town. How many western girls do you think " WORK" their way thru uni? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 (edited) Doesn't apply to everyone... but probably applies to more folks than would like to believe it themselves: get yourself a condo in your own name BEFORE you buy your local her/him a house. Have seen far too many people lose their ONE home here to their local partner (and again, more often than not partners with a history of 'selling/renting their a$$' as a profession) going behind their backs and putting up their property as collateral on 2-3% a month interest loans without any means to pay it all back. Edited December 3, 2011 by Heng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenSnapper Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Only read a few pages _ I worked for a while in a university town. How many western girls do you think " WORK" their way thru uni? Hehe... Many American Uni girls have debts of 50000-100000$ at the end of their "studies". How is that going to be resolved? Hard work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAZZELL Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 (edited) There seems to be a awful lot of double standard and social (if not racial) prejudice around here. Honestly, what's so bad about a person (girl) who accepts money for sex? And how is that different from a non-professional, whom you invite for a drink and dinner and then hop in the sac with her? She didn't get any cash, but a dinner (worth 5,000). Or shall I stretch it a bit? You "pay" a girl 20k (or whatever) per month and you got a paper saying she said "Yes" and has your name now. In addition to provide for the carnal pleasures, she also has to cook for you and wash your cloth. And guess what she gets when you call it quits? Half of what you have! How is that for taking to moral high grounds? A person is good or she is bad. Period. Just because she takes money for a shag does not necessarily make her a bad person. I would guess that if a marriage between a Bg and a farang fails, more likely than not it's not because she was a BG, but because the two were not compatible. He may have thought he was morally superior to her, hence condescending and judge-mental and could not adapt to her culture and social background. And if I say "social background", I don't mean the bar scene, I mean her upbringing in Isan (or wherever), her education and ethnic environment, which all clash with his and both were not capable of adjusting to that. It was just easier for him to meet her that way. But in which ever environment he would have met her and married her, it would have been a failure. So IMO whether or not she was a BG before marriage has little to do with success or failure of the marriage. Very thoughtful post I think most farang/bg marriages fail because of the type of farang the Bg's marry! You just have to admit bg's aren't the "Cream of Thai Society"...and neither are their customers However, as well as meeting some right wrong un's, I've also met some extremely kind and generous bg's over the years...6 years later one still calls me every Christmas day RAZZ Edited December 3, 2011 by RAZZELL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAYNEandAEI Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 1322810991[/url]' post='4886325']1322809890[/url]' post='4886284']1322804591[/url]' post='4886066']So all bar girls are bad then and dirty and you shouldnt marry one ?? What about the girls that go to clubs everywekend in your country and get banged off a different guy everyweek? Id marry a Thai girl on the spot rather than marry a nagging, old, selfish farang lady any day I think you might find that the same guys who are married to bar girls might not be able to 'get' the girls who go to clubs every weekend in their country. And those who didn't marry bar girls also apply similar attitudes to keeping away from the sluts in their home country too.. They wouldn't marry them either ! Hang on - there is a logic failure here: If the guys who marry bar girls could not 'get' the sluts in their home country And the guys who don't marry bar girls keep away from sluts in their home countries... The who is 'banging' the sluts in the home country?? I met him once didn't have time for much of a chat...seemed really busy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominique355 Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 All women are prostitutes, it's only the price the varies. That's ridiculous and men who harbour beliefs of that ilk confirm my suspicions that the blame for problems that arise when a farang marries or conducts a relationship with a bargirl that extends beyond a cervix-pounding lie squarely with the man. Any farang guy who's never had problems attracting and engaging in relationships with attractive women at home or here in Thailand on the strength of his personality, his looks or a combination thereof, would likely NEVER consider marrying or hooking up with a Thai prostitute. I've seen too many farang guys go with what I call the "Southpaw" approach. Just like hapless, punchdrunk pugilists, they lead with the wrong hand - the one with the wallet in it - dangling the carrot of security and an upgrade in lifestyle several times removed from that of a typical bargirl. Maybe they really don't have anything else to offer. Anyway, the unspoken terms of the deal are generally that he provides the readies, she leaves the bar and performs semen receptacle duties for him exclusively but when it all goes Pete Tong, he starts bawling like a pussy even though he himself has been out tomcatting around. I believe it takes a certain type of cretin to believe that he can buy another human being's genuine affection, loyalty and respect with a monthly stipend whilst, simultaneously, trying to exercise control over the people outside her immediate family she sees and speaks to. That type of cretin, gentlemen, is generally old, corpulent and has issues with women, here or at home, asserting any modicum of independence. I don't wish ill on anyone who takes it upon himself to hook up with a brass but, 9 times out of 10, if she cleans your clock financially and/or emotionally, you're only getting back what you put out in the universe. I wonder if there is one single guy out there (except of course HardenedSoul) who never had problems engaging with attractive women. I certainly had and still have, although I am very attractive, highly intelligent, good body, oh yeah, and rich. Some attractive women simply don't dig me! Unbelievable but true! Maybe it's my lack of modesty. Just a question to HardenedSoul: Do you believe that if this pathetic guy would have married an ordinary Thai girl, who has never been a bargirl, their chances of success would be higher? And how would you rate the behavior of an average married farang guy who pays his wife a monthly allowance, makes her presents and thus gets her affection, loyalty and respect while he has a certain degree of "influence" on her acquaintances? In other words, isn't that the totally normal behavior of any husband anywhere in the world? And how is that different from the situation where she used to work as a bar girl? Right! It isn't. I think we should stop looking at bar girls like they were a different species with different behavior. The only difference I see between a bar girl and a "normal" girl is that the bar girls do it more in the open. But they all "take" in one way or another. And that's OK. We men are supposed to be providers and the women are in the village taking care of the offspring and thus cannot hunt, they depend on men giving them. We all are products of evolution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harryfrompattaya Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 (edited) I don't fancy women of my own age - Thai or Western. Looks like I will just have to settle for being a loser with my partner who is 20 years younger. Since you like partners 20 years younger maybe you home country can you give you extra money for being a loser and having such a disability Edited December 3, 2011 by harryfrompattaya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillside4Phil Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 There will always be a stigma with a farang marrying a Bar Girl Not all marriages work and that is life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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