phuturatica Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 I noticed in the general topics section there was a thread asking about having successful relationships with Thai women. Now as a Farang woman living in Thailand, it obviously doesn't apply to me. However I have wondered, are there any of you lovely ladies out there who have had successful relationships with Thai men? I'm currently going through a bad patch with my Thai boyfriend and would love to just hear some lovely successful relationship stories to cheer me up. I sometimes think it's a culture thing but maybe I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm just not cut out for the Thai guy way of life. By the way, please don't think of this to be a moany post. I would like to hear happy stories of successful relationships and just wondered how you all soldiered through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 11 years, 9 married, one child 5 years old. ups and down like any normal relationship. And with any partnership you have your deal breakers & those thing that annoy but you can live with. you just have to decide what yours are. Me & the Mr are both quite laid back so not much interferes with us, I don't expect him to be my shadow, I have gf's to talk gossip & girl stuff with. likewise he has his own friends that are not mine. I don't really buy into the whole "thai way". Man, woman, sex, life, same in pretty much any culture but compromise is a more essential tool in inter cultural relationships imo but you each have to retain your own identity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmsally Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Been married to my husband (Thai) for 24 years!! A scarily long time when you sit down and add it up. 2 children both at uni - one in UK, one in Thailand. I don't believe there is such a thing as the stereotypical Thai guy. Some are very nice, some you can put up with, some are barely tolerable and then there are those you would like to push under a bus. Hubbie must be in first category I guess!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Been married to my husband (Thai) for 24 years!! A scarily long time when you sit down and add it up. 2 children both at uni - one in UK, one in Thailand. I don't believe there is such a thing as the stereotypical Thai guy. Some are very nice, some you can put up with, some are barely tolerable and then there are those you would like to push under a bus. Hubbie must be in first category I guess!! ;lol: I like your categories but I think they are applicable to everyone really not just Thais! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmsally Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Been married to my husband (Thai) for 24 years!! A scarily long time when you sit down and add it up. 2 children both at uni - one in UK, one in Thailand. I don't believe there is such a thing as the stereotypical Thai guy. Some are very nice, some you can put up with, some are barely tolerable and then there are those you would like to push under a bus. Hubbie must be in first category I guess!! ;lol: I like your categories but I think they are applicable to everyone really not just Thais! Hahaha; I was going to say that, but you know what some of the guys are like when they are reading this part of the forum! Much safer if they are assuming I'm talking about Thais only! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Can I just say that I have a very good friend in Glasgow who lived in Pai for 12 years, two relationships with Thai men, one of which was a marriage that lasted 5 years. She said that what did for her relationships was a complete lack of cultural connection, she was fully immersed in the Pai way of life and fluent in Thai, but any time any subject came up about life in the UK her men thought she had landed from the moon. So in as much as she tried to integrate, her partners had no interest in her cultural background. She wrote an award winning fictional book about life in Pai, I will try to get a hold of her and get the title of it, it was a very good read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 theblether, that's one of the main reasons once I knew the mr & me were in for the long haul we moved to the UK, he made a promise to give it minimum 1 year & if at the end of that he hated life there we would move back, that was in 2004 & we are still here (give or take a couple of long term visits over the years). I couldn't have a long term relationsop with someone who totally dismissed my culture or had no idea of what life was like there. It has 100% helped our relationship, communication & future plans. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brit1984 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Been married to my husband (Thai) for 24 years!! A scarily long time when you sit down and add it up. 2 children both at uni - one in UK, one in Thailand. I don't believe there is such a thing as the stereotypical Thai guy. Some are very nice, some you can put up with, some are barely tolerable and then there are those you would like to push under a bus. Hubbie must be in first category I guess!! ;lol: I like your categories but I think they are applicable to everyone really not just Thais! Hahaha; I was going to say that, but you know what some of the guys are like when they are reading this part of the forum! Much safer if they are assuming I'm talking about Thais only! Thanks for that... and sorry for gatecrashing Just wanted to say that I don't know anyone who treats their partner better than my sister-in-law's Thai boyfriend And obviously... successful (and unsuccessful) relationships are possible between people of all nationalities Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 The book is called Moonshine in the Morning by Andrea McNicoll, its still available on amazon. I read it and thoroughly enjoyed it, it had a lovely descriptive narrative of life in the Thai mountains. I brought a copy over to Chiang Mai and gave it to a friend to read ( and keep ), I have just been in contact with her and she loved it, the book was last seen doing the rounds of the hotel I use but I dont know where it is at the moment. Andrea is my Thai teacher back in the UK, she is hoping to write a follow up. She really did her relationships a go, however as boo has pointed out, I think you need your man to be interested in your background and culture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaatWang Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Hello Phuturatica, Yes, you can add me to the list of happy relationships. Have been with my hubby now for 2.5 years. Married unofficially (village ceremony) 2 ys ago, and officially (registration & wedding) 1 year ago. Just as happy now as when we first met, when we were introduced by a mutual (Thai) friend. I like to say living with him is as easy as breathing, our personalities just mesh together perfectly. Last year, he initiated an interest in moving to the US, so we've now officially applied for his visa and are waiting for approval. Hopefully he will like it as much as he thinks he will. He promises to shovel snow (because I hate it!) so I'm planning to milk that for all it's worth! Best of luck to you, WaatWang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturatica Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Apologies for lack of replying to all these posts, however my internet stopped working at home (it's sorted now thankfully!) Really nice to hear about your lovely stories. I really want to make it work, however I think he needs to sort out his own issues first. I'm patient though. Of course all relationships have their ups and down no matter what nationality. He's gone away back to his home town to have a break. To be honest, the main problem is that he is under so much stress with his businesses at the moment and I can't really do nothing but try and be supportive but he's a quiet man who likes to go into himself when there is a problem so I'm guessing he just needs a time out to deal with all that. Thank you for all the lovely stories! You know, sometimes I wonder if I can seem myself being married to ANY man of ANY nationality for such a long time! When I see couples who have been together for so long it always makes me smile. Reminds me of my Grandfather and Grandmother who were married for over 70 years! Not even sure I'm that tolerable for such a long period of time! Hah! Oh well... I'm still pretty young in comparison to some of you ladies so maybe time will tell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bina Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 hoo........well, life changes......... well, we (anon and i) are in a 'down' period at the moment; partially, possibly empty nest syndrome (me, as last and youngest moved out to her kibbutz teenage quarters, going in to her volunteer year pre army, and then army, eldest with boyfriend - whom for whatever reason, myhusband cant stand so leaves when they come over together-- definately a thai avoidance behavior-- and son still in army with religious jewish girlfriend, and our house is the antithesis of jewish kosher).... ; partially cause he has 'woken up' at age 40 to realize that he actually has no children (he knew that i couldnt anymore, and he wouldnt have but the actuallity of it seems to have hit him)-- job is same same, his language skills have remained thai only and minimal hebrew with no cultural participation in kibbutz or israeli style life apart from me); and he is feeling , i think lonely isolated and frustrated (with only 5 year visa thai labourer friends. thank god for skype, internet for pi/nong that are in other countries working or at home village). family bugs him for money which we dont have; we are always in a financiallly poor state (kibbutz and labourer wages = no money in israel.) the house/chanote in korat got stuck with issues with the puu yai baan and greedy village big wigs who want the land... in other words he is in male menopause/mid life crisis only without any knowlege that there is such things (thai village man, reads internet stuff but doesnt read up on 'life style' things.) with help from hong kong male friend, ive got perspective on it now, but alot is cultural thai village (lack of education, agricultural cycle type living which is opposite of israeli pressure pressure pressure and nerves) and a lot is his own personal problems. doesnt want to discuss stuff at all (as others point out, a thai male thing, not to discuss boy stuff with wives...), keeps himself to himself which obviously doesn thelp (and israelis are reverse: they constantly ask, dissect, bug you, dig in to you whats wrong, analyse, and dont leave u to your self.) the solution at the moment is that he goes to visit his thai male friends on their various moshavim where the work although on songkran he was disappointed: they all got drunk, so all the arrangements for field trips to the big city , site seeing etc, never happend (typically village thai for sure)and he was bored out of his skull. most of these 'friends' sit around after working horrible hours, drinking then waking to work again. so he goes off on most weekends, and we do something on one weekend , together. he is too tired in evenings to go out and he has no patience. i finally learned that his father also just goes off for weeks at a time to hunt (he's an old time thai hunter, machete, gun and lin clothe), and mom does her own thng with the grandkids and his sisters. so his learning patterns are based on his family way of life (women together, men go off to hunt and hang out with cronies.) so lately i have decide to take matters in my own hands and study one day a week off the kibbutz, and redevelop old hobbies which i had neglected due to previous job on kibbutz (the animal zoo, which was also my hobby, love of my life and job). he claims that i was watching him all the time, and since the house is very small, i would try to instigate conversations when he wanted some quiet time... in other words, he needs a 'den' or 'tv room' , something we dont have. in comparison with other friends here, that seems par for the course among israeli men also (the more eastern/oriental guys, not as much so among the european types.) being this is my second marriage, and visa for him was and is an investment of money, time, and life style (here he is required to work close to home since he must return home every night, immigration here doesn recognize alternative lifestyles like weekend partners etc)there is that psychological pressure on him to settle for jobs that pay less , close to home, rather then good jobs but sleeping in an other city during week to save costs (cost almost all his pay check to commute daily between jerusalem and tel aviv for instance) ... i am working on myself a bit and easing up on my demands from him... (on kibbutz it is almost expected that u do everything as a couple, in israel in general also but here we all work in same buildings, 'campus' so to speak, so you have same friends, neighbhors work friends etc.)/// my mother has stated that in the past people just stayed to gether after a while due to inertia, fondness, etc, and nowadays people change partners constantly cause they want the first few years together type feeling- which she says doenst happen. with age and familiarity, things smooth out, so, in mean time, that is the stage we are in. that is that at present moment... forgot to add, we are together from 2006 but the first year or so was stressful as he was illegally here, then on a labourer visa with various restrictions, and now still with temp. residency visa only... bina israel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Bina, sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. one thing that really help the mr here was getting access to thai tv via the net. seesan tv. assume you can get it in isreal too, it is 5 pounds a month here & has all the <deleted> soap operas as well as movies thai & dubbed in thai. has been a total lifesaver & gives him a taste of home. not sure if it's an option (home internet, laptop or pc to watch it on or access to the site) but if you can, check it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturatica Posted April 22, 2012 Author Share Posted April 22, 2012 Bina, sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. one thing that really help the mr here was getting access to thai tv via the net. seesan tv. assume you can get it in isreal too, it is 5 pounds a month here & has all the <deleted> soap operas as well as movies thai & dubbed in thai. has been a total lifesaver & gives him a taste of home. not sure if it's an option (home internet, laptop or pc to watch it on or access to the site) but if you can, check it out. Sorry to go off-topic but how do you get Thai TV on your laptop? Is there a program or something to download or a website I can go on? Bina, I'm sorry to hear about your relationship bad patch! I hope it sorts itself out soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 just type in seesan tv in google, it is a website & connects to all the tv shows & movies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 http://www.tvthaionline.net/tvthai.php?view=tv/ch3.html Some here, but free and Channel 7 never works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amyji Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 (edited) Hi! Just wanted to chime in here. I pop in every now and then and so I'm not a regular contributing member. Anyway, I've been married to my Thai husband for 8 years this April 30th. We've lived in the USA now for the last 7 and he got his American citizenship six months ago. Our son shall be 7 years old next month. My hubby is quite westernized. When we met in Bangkok in 2003, he had been living in the States for about a decade already - from the same metro area I'm from, no less! He had to return to Thailand for reasons I won't get into here, but his English is very, very good (works as a translator) and is familiar and embracing of western culture. It helps our relationship that I am familiar and respectful of Thai culture, so it works both ways. The rest of our success in our relationship is the fact that we have core values in common. We're both pretty easy going and love to make one another laugh. We're both committed to each other and behave responsibly (no gambling, lying, cheating, etc.) This is something I would expect of any man. We're kind and respectful to each other. We flirt with each other. We trust one another. He is a very involved father and we are both devoted to our son. I couldn't be happier and I know I got very lucky. I wish you all the best with your relationship. Remember to choose wisely then treat kindly. Amy from California Edited April 22, 2012 by Amyji Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Hi! Just wanted to chime in here. I pop in every now and then and so I'm not a regular contributing member. Anyway, I've been married to my Thai husband for 8 years this April 30th. We've lived in the USA now for the last 7 and he got his American citizenship six months ago. Our son shall be 7 years old next month. My hubby is quite westernized. When we met in Bangkok in 2003, he had been living in the States for about a decade already - from the same metro area I'm from, no less! He had to return to Thailand for reasons I won't get into here, but his English is very, very good (works as a translator) and is familiar and embracing of western culture. It helps our relationship that I am familiar and respectful of Thai culture, so it works both ways. The rest of our success in our relationship is the fact that we have core values in common. We're both pretty easy going and love to make one another laugh. We're both committed to each other and behave responsibly (no gambling, lying, cheating, etc.) This is something I would expect of any man. We're kind and respectful to each other. We flirt with each other. We trust one another. He is a very involved father and we are both devoted to our son. I couldn't be happier and I know I got very lucky. I wish you all the best with your relationship. Remember to choose wisely then treat kindly. Amy from California Thats coz Golf is a sweetie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bina Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 hi thanx for the suggestions... hi amy/golf, nice to hear from u all . yes, we see lots of thai programs here on the internet; part of the problem is his absolute dislike of israel due to so many bad experiences as labourer, and there fore not learning the langage and therefore not understanding people or mis understanding what they say to him, its sort of a circle... for a whiel he improved with language but has remissed recently. so actually we have mostly thai in the house. im sure its also like his wakening up to realities of no kids although he knew intellectually , hormonoally and instinctiviely its much harder for him to accept that; also, the usual thai worker bullshit they bug him with here.. if there was a normal thai ex pat group it would be different but there are either christian do gooder thais (very nice but not his cup of tea) or the drunken worker type. we are working on things........ a bit of chemical interfereance would be better but he refuses to go to doctors, nor does he want any herbal rememdies (st. john wort, mellissa, ginko, etc.). if we had chinese medicine docs (that are chinese and not israeli) that would have a been a solution, but no go, also no thai monks here. one israeli monk who speaks thai but hubby doesn t trust that he is the 'real thing'... well, patience patience, thanx, bina 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike123ca Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 hi thanx for the suggestions... hi amy/golf, nice to hear from u all . yes, we see lots of thai programs here on the internet; part of the problem is his absolute dislike of israel due to so many bad experiences as labourer, and there fore not learning the langage and therefore not understanding people or mis understanding what they say to him, its sort of a circle... for a whiel he improved with language but has remissed recently. so actually we have mostly thai in the house. im sure its also like his wakening up to realities of no kids although he knew intellectually , hormonoally and instinctiviely its much harder for him to accept that; also, the usual thai worker bullshit they bug him with here.. if there was a normal thai ex pat group it would be different but there are either christian do gooder thais (very nice but not his cup of tea) or the drunken worker type. we are working on things........ a bit of chemical interfereance would be better but he refuses to go to doctors, nor does he want any herbal rememdies (st. john wort, mellissa, ginko, etc.). if we had chinese medicine docs (that are chinese and not israeli) that would have a been a solution, but no go, also no thai monks here. one israeli monk who speaks thai but hubby doesn t trust that he is the 'real thing'... well, patience patience, thanx, bina hi thanx for the suggestions... hi amy/golf, nice to hear from u all . yes, we see lots of thai programs here on the internet; part of the problem is his absolute dislike of israel due to so many bad experiences as labourer, and there fore not learning the langage and therefore not understanding people or mis understanding what they say to him, its sort of a circle... for a whiel he improved with language but has remissed recently. so actually we have mostly thai in the house. im sure its also like his wakening up to realities of no kids although he knew intellectually , hormonoally and instinctiviely its much harder for him to accept that; also, the usual thai worker bullshit they bug him with here.. if there was a normal thai ex pat group it would be different but there are either christian do gooder thais (very nice but not his cup of tea) or the drunken worker type. we are working on things........ a bit of chemical interfereance would be better but he refuses to go to doctors, nor does he want any herbal rememdies (st. john wort, mellissa, ginko, etc.). if we had chinese medicine docs (that are chinese and not israeli) that would have a been a solution, but no go, also no thai monks here. one israeli monk who speaks thai but hubby doesn t trust that he is the 'real thing'... well, patience patience, thanx, bina Hi Bina, When I married my Thai wife, she said she would live anywhere with me and so the first five years we lived in South Korea. She never complained and made the best of what what was available to her.But, my gut feeling was that she missed being close to home and her family. For some people it is difficult to leave their homeland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goinghomesoon Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Married 2.5 years and we left Thailand 6 months ago to live in Australia. I think our relationship works because we are both happy to try new things. I was willing to do the village-thing in Thailand, build a house on our land and spend time getting to know my in-laws. Here in Australia the hubs is studying English full-time and has thrown himself into learning how to function in a new country. We've never had a major fight and I'm sure our flexibility is the main reason. To be honest, hubby would have been the right man for me, no matter which country he came from. I don't think the fact he's Thai really played into it much. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krupnik Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Nice to hear your stories, girls! And to add mine I'm in a successful relationship with a Thai man. Although we have 'cultural differences' we've never had a major fight and love and accept one another and he's made me happier than I've ever been. We're not married yet but I'm awaiting my proposal. For the OP - I hope you have managed to pull through the bad patch. Goodluck! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturatica Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm actually currently on a "I hate men" period. That's all nationalities, not just Thai! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edwinclapham Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm actually currently on a "I hate men" period. That's all nationalities, not just Thai! You'll be back in the fold once this feeling has worn off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brit1984 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm actually currently on a "I hate men" period. That's all nationalities, not just Thai! Ugh!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm actually currently on a "I hate men" period. That's all nationalities, not just Thai! Ugh!!! given some of the stuff men on the forums post, I really don't think this comment is even remotely warranted. Please don't troll in the ladies forum, thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brit1984 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm actually currently on a "I hate men" period. That's all nationalities, not just Thai! Ugh!!! given some of the stuff men on the forums post, I really don't think this comment is even remotely warranted. Please don't troll in the ladies forum, thanks Actually, I have said exactly the same in response to male members' posts on other threads I am sorry if you were offended in some way by my post; it was not my intention to "troll" I will try to remember not to participate in the ladies forum in future in case my posts are misconstrued Sorry 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Amyji Posted May 2, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted May 2, 2012 Our 8-year anniversary dinner together that was on 30th April. Yep, a happy marriage with a Thai man is possible. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post edwinclapham Posted May 3, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) Gorgeous picture and yes you both look very happy indeed. Phuturatica is young ( not meant to be condecending at all!) and someone well deserving of her attentions is out there. The secret is never to accept second best Edited May 3, 2012 by edwinclapham 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Carry Posted May 3, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2012 For someone not to be interested in your background as one of the posts states is awful... Where you from, how you grew up is part of who you are today, so if you love your partner how can you not be interested, that would be a relation killer for me! My hubbie came for a visit with me to my home country almost 2 years ago, we had been together in Thailand for 4 years by then and for him to meet my family, see how we live on that part of the world, made a huge difference in our relationship! He enjoyed everything, was curious but it was clear to us that living there was not an option, he liked it for a visit but also due to us having a successful business in Thailand, we never even considered moving back to Europe [did I mentioned, he thought it was way to cold and expensive!] We have a baby and I go back for at least one visit every year and he is very understanding of that, the importance for our girl to grow up knowing two cultures and two different worlds almost. But I have to admit, it took us a while to find our balance and part of it def. was cultural but mainly it was me who decided to stay in Thailand...and that was as far as I had thought things through at the time. I ended up working in our business depending on that income and moving in together straight away, which came natural to Mr. Carry but def. not to me! Nothing really wrong with that except for the fact that I would never had done that, would I've met a guy in Europe, you usually take your time, go dating etc etc. So to get to know someone by spending almost every hour of every day with each other was most of the time good but more often also a struggle. But none of us gave up, it went smoother, we understood each other better and better, I got my own business now and we started dating after 2 years or so, going for dinner etc. Now I cherish having found my true love, as in someone who's been through all my lows with me, who's seen me at my worst and I def. have seen his ugliest sides, we pulled each other through some tough times and it's a blessing, having our own little family now, i found some peace of mind in that, in just being happy with daily life and taking things as they come, living day by day...ugh maybe this sounds very boring 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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