Financial Expectations Of A Thai Women

[HardenedSoul]

how do they go about it?

They usually marry girls of equal social background and more often than not in those cases the woman is in charge of the finances and the man hands over his complete pay check basically.

Well i guess there are some who do that, but of course Thai guys have a lot better chance of getting a Thai woman who is trustworthy and will give in return a measure of respect, gratitude and faithfullness for sacrifices made.

IMO, this is not always possible with Thai/farang relationships. We seem to attract the quality of women who only want to take the pliss. Of course culture and language barriers certainly do not help.

What i was referring about... as in they go about it a different way....was referring to the single Thai guys. They don't need a fulltime partner to satisfy there egos. They have the freedom of living alone without any hassles but they also know the right places to go if an itch needs scratching. And its a lot more inexpensive at the end of day.

True. Thing is, although many foreign guys think Thai guys are a bit flaky and effeminate, the fact is most of the shenanigans, tantrums and theatrics Thai girls use to get their own way with a farang simply wouldn't be tolerated for a nanosecond by a Thai guy. Thai guys quite rightly piss themselves laughing at Western guys when their teerak is tearing strips off 'em in public and storming off cos they know they wouldn't be taking that kind of shit in a million years.

I'm not sure farangs actually attract that specific quality; I think it's more a case of they're just about as good as most old men can hope for.

Young guys like the OP can operate closer to the top of the social ladder.

[theblether]

having read most of posts I think its pathetic that most forang seem to expect their GF or wives to live in some form of shithole which most of them would never consider just because over 95% of thais are dirt poor and have less than 10-15k baht a month to live. If you want your GF or wife to live like that then just rent a wife and im sure all will be fine. Even asking how much should I contribute to my GF or wife already means you are putting finance well ahead of relationships. If your a couple your a couple and all income is joint IMO. Here as it used to be in west its custom for man to pay when taking a GF out and thats still custom here however much the GF earns or does not earn however much they can live on or not. When I first met my wife then my GF she was earning a mere 8-10k baht a month in BKK and living in a semi slum at a rent of around 1000 baht a month. When we got serious we rented a nice apartment in BKK for around 3k baht a month (ok 18 years ago) and lived on around 25,000 baht although I could easily have rented a place for 20-30,000 baht a month. My wife (Gf then) never asked me for money but I gladly bought her a cell phone and other bits since she could not possibly afford such luxuries on her salary. It never crossed my mind how much I should give her and we just spent what was needed with me contributing whatever was needed. I asked her to give up her job after a few months since I wanted to travel and do things and I could easily afford to pay both our ways and expenses. After about 1 year she said she did not like having to ask me all time for money to buy little things and could she have a bit of her own money although within reason I was more than happy to buy anything she needed or within reason wanted. So I asked what she thought was reasonable and she said of course up to me. So we settled on 2,000 baht a month (17 years ago remember so probably around 10,000 baht + now) for her to pay hairdresser , odd shoes and bits. After 4 years we moved into a 15,000 baht apartment in BKK and our living budget was around 50,000 baht a month. Ok this is not a my GF is different and maybe I was just lucky and still am but if at any time in first few years their had been any demand for anything unreasonable that would have ended it. We spend years trying to explain each others cultures and differences between here and west and you need to meet half way. Our age difference is considerable and she certainly was and is not one of those thai chinese girls people keep boasting about. I dont know if she ever worked in a bar and have never asked but I did not meet her in a bar and she had a perfectly good normal job in a factory as a supervisor.

My main point to all those forang here who keep asking how much and those who say Thais can live well on 10,000 or whatever is you deserve all you get. You should give freely what is right or simply rent a GF which seems you are really doing but not honest enough to simply go to girly bars and get one. These days with 2 lovely children we spend around 250,000 baht a month because we can but if we only had 50,000 id still want my family to have if at all possible a decent home and the rest and why do so many forang think of Thais as some lower species who are not worthy to live same sort of life most westerners would expect except of course the bums.

having read most of posts I think its pathetic that most forang seem to expect their GF or wives to live in some form of shithole which most of them would never consider just because over 95% of thais are dirt poor and have less than 10-15k baht a month to live. If you want your GF or wife to live like that then just rent a wife and im sure all will be fine. Even asking how much should I contribute to my GF or wife already means you are putting finance well ahead of relationships. If your a couple your a couple and all income is joint IMO. Here as it used to be in west its custom for man to pay when taking a GF out and thats still custom here however much the GF earns or does not earn however much they can live on or not. When I first met my wife then my GF she was earning a mere 8-10k baht a month in BKK and living in a semi slum at a rent of around 1000 baht a month. When we got serious we rented a nice apartment in BKK for around 3k baht a month (ok 18 years ago) and lived on around 25,000 baht although I could easily have rented a place for 20-30,000 baht a month. My wife (Gf then) never asked me for money but I gladly bought her a cell phone and other bits since she could not possibly afford such luxuries on her salary. It never crossed my mind how much I should give her and we just spent what was needed with me contributing whatever was needed. I asked her to give up her job after a few months since I wanted to travel and do things and I could easily afford to pay both our ways and expenses. After about 1 year she said she did not like having to ask me all time for money to buy little things and could she have a bit of her own money although within reason I was more than happy to buy anything she needed or within reason wanted. So I asked what she thought was reasonable and she said of course up to me. So we settled on 2,000 baht a month (17 years ago remember so probably around 10,000 baht + now) for her to pay hairdresser , odd shoes and bits. After 4 years we moved into a 15,000 baht apartment in BKK and our living budget was around 50,000 baht a month. Ok this is not a my GF is different and maybe I was just lucky and still am but if at any time in first few years their had been any demand for anything unreasonable that would have ended it. We spend years trying to explain each others cultures and differences between here and west and you need to meet half way. Our age difference is considerable and she certainly was and is not one of those thai chinese girls people keep boasting about. I dont know if she ever worked in a bar and have never asked but I did not meet her in a bar and she had a perfectly good normal job in a factory as a supervisor.

My main point to all those forang here who keep asking how much and those who say Thais can live well on 10,000 or whatever is you deserve all you get. You should give freely what is right or simply rent a GF which seems you are really doing but not honest enough to simply go to girly bars and get one. These days with 2 lovely children we spend around 250,000 baht a month because we can but if we only had 50,000 id still want my family to have if at all possible a decent home and the rest and why do so many forang think of Thais as some lower species who are not worthy to live same sort of life most westerners would expect except of course the bums.

It was painful reading that post. Not on account of its content, mind; more the absence of line breaks, paragraphs and jumbled words. Still, I made it through and while there are some really rather sweet, old-school chivalrous sentiments, you have to understand the guy's 30 years old. He's not buying or renting his bird. There isn't a "considerable age difference" between him and his girl so he doesn't necessarily need to flash the folding as much as an older guy who'd have to show his youthful beau there are compensations for walking around with an old chamois leather on legs.

Of course, one year in, he's realized that what he'd hoped was a relaitonship run along similar lines to what he'd expect in the West is nothing of the sort and he's facing the possibility of starting along a rocky road that will only get more and more arduous and expensive as time progresses if he doesn't put his foot down right NOW. This is a different era, mate and although that most definitely doesn't make it better than that which came before, it needs a different approach to the one which served you so well in the past.

I'm going with you on this one HS.

People need to be very careful of making a rod for their own back in Thailand. In as much as I agree wholeheartedly with the recent posts by greekfreaklover and brit1984, brit1984 is referring to a different stage of the relationship from where the OP is currently residing.

Yes it is natural to look after your wife, the mother of your children, without thought to the financial aspect. However it is not natural for a gf to expect, nay, demand financial support.

The best way I can suggest is to think like a Thai, if your gf earns 20,000 baht a month and she is demanding 5,000 baht a month support, then she is asking for a weeks wages. Would you give a relatively new gf a weeks wages of support in your home country? No chance.

Yes treat her like you would any gf, but don't enter into semi-formal financial support arrangement. You are just asking for trouble and asking for the doubts to come piling in.

Differentiate between gf, fiance, and wife.

[barefoot1988]

when in rome do as romans do.

financial expectation of thai women is them giving you money for booze and party.

[mauGR1]

I read with interest, sometimes there is a very thin line between doing what is right and what is wrong.

I found a lot of common sense in the comments above, and i would just like to add a couple of things..

Firstly, let's not forget that unmarried girls in Thailand normally provide financial support for their elders..I don't know if it's the case of the OP's girl friend..

Secondly, one Thai girl which is in a relationship with a foreigner gets some more or less unconscious pressure from her friends, because for most of the Thais, foreigner = rich...I can imagine all her friends asking her to show the presents she's got from her exotic boy friend.

That said, i agree with the suggestion to be a bit tight at the beginning, to see how it develops .

It seems to me the OP is handling the situation quite well.

[David48]

well i guess i am green behind the ears because i have no idea where people are finding these 5 story townhouses for 6k a month within walking distance from the BTS? i mean, when we were apartment hunting we used Thai langauge websites. you walk into a apartment and they will show my wife the price list in Thai. my wife will/would check with people living there what it costs. you can see websites like prakard.com that are thai language. is this an elaborate scam to create a site with farang prices in thai language?

farang000999 ... thank for that link, showed me something that I hadn't seen before ...

[BigJohnnyBKK]

We seem to attract the quality of women who only want to take the pliss. Of course culture and language barriers certainly do not help.

We get the women the reasonable wealthy Thai guys don't want, and not only talking about aesthetic preferences. Often we end up with ones no Thai would touch because they can tell straight off which are wacko, while most farang can't. And we certainly attract those simply looking for money. Not saying every one of course ;-)

True. Thing is, although many foreign guys think Thai guys are a bit flaky and effeminate, the fact is most of the shenanigans, tantrums and theatrics Thai girls use to get their own way with a farang simply wouldn't be tolerated for a nanosecond by a Thai guy. Thai guys quite rightly piss themselves laughing at Western guys when their teerak is tearing strips off 'em in public and storming off cos they know they wouldn't be taking that kind of shit in a million years.

I'm not sure farangs actually attract that specific quality; I think it's more a case of they're just about as good as most old men can hope for.

My theory is that farang men have been trained from birth by our PC culture, our mothers and sisters etc, to treat women as equals, even more so with respect, to assume people are trustworthy before they've proven themselves worth of such.

Therefore women who have experience with farang - and even girls coached by those women, know they can get away with trying stuff they would never dream of with a Thai. Bottom line - we've trained them ourselves by how we treat them.

IMO the only solution is to find the girls that haven't been polluted by our cultural expectations and treat them right from the start the way a Thai man would - not talking about infidelity and irresponsibility, but realizing that you are the senior, the boss, the one paying all the bills and don't take any shit, be ready to toss her out on her ass as soon as she starts trying to control you.

But that's just me.

However it is not natural for a gf to expect, nay, demand financial support.

It certainly is here between a wealthier bf and a poorer gf, and most especially when the former is a farang.

Unless she's past her use by and unattractive. If she's a single mother past 30, then sure she should be grateful for just room and board, but if she has the self-confidence to get out there and do better then it's probably worth giving her a fair allowance if you want to keep her.

[Beetlejuice]

A few facts that may save a guy a fortune and a lot of emotional trauma from the Beetlejuice vault of truth and wisdom.

Cute girl sends out signals to a guy that she likes him.

After spending a passionate evening with her and a night of lovey-doveyness

with and perhaps the best sex the guy has had for years, he becomes smitten and can hardly believe his luck.

He holds her hand and listens intently to her pitiful hard luck stories and then wants to be her knight in shining armour, to the rescue, at any price, dreaming that at last he has discovered a true soul mate and love of his life. So believing in a dream the guy decides to invest in her for a good future.

This is how it begins and of course in most cases the result will turn out completely different to the guy’s expectations.

Three major clues that will determine if the girl is not sincere and giving a guy a load of BS:

• Most of her problems can only be solved with money.
  
• The girl is not willing to give up any of her usual social schedules to be with the guy.
  
• Appears to have many relatives, friends, acquaintances or colleges that she prefers to keep to herself and separate from her so-called relationship with the guy.
  

It`s very simple. If a girl really likes or loves a guy, she will unconditionally follow him anywhere with no strings or provisos attached.

Her main ambition in life will become solely to be with her man without any financial stipulations and social limitations. She should in fact be proud and keen to show off her new boyfriend and let everyone know that he and she is now an item.

If this is not the case, then dream on baby, because it`s going to cost you dear and you are wasting your time.

Now, would I lie to you?

[KeyserSoze01]

The best way I can suggest is to think like a Thai, if your gf earns 20,000 baht a month and she is demanding 5,000 baht a month support, then she is asking for a weeks wages. Would you give a relatively new gf a weeks wages of support in your home country? No chance.

Except in a Thai male / Thai female relationship, the male is usually sponging baht off the girlfriend. Which is why she needs the farang to make up the difference.

[vreemd13]

8-10k a month in bkk is a tiny rat hole.

I know of many three-four bedroom townhouses for under 10k near Sukhumvit BTS.

But then again, I'm not a tourist.

Again, a very frequent tourist,

I know 5k / month 2bedroom apartment (with living room & kitchenette) in BKK near centre.

Nice quiet place I will stay without problem.

(BTW, I still think 5k is too expensive, if you consider it is a rent for a 213k apartment (2012 approximate by bank) at 5-7% mortgage / year)

[farang000999]

name of building and addy?

[metisdead]

Some (not all) trolling nonsense posts as well as off topic posts have been removed. Let's try and stick to the topic.

[Jake829]

A few facts that may save a guy a fortune and a lot of emotional trauma from the Beetlejuice vault of truth and wisdom.

Cute girl sends out signals to a guy that she likes him.

After spending a passionate evening with her and a night of lovey-doveyness

with and perhaps the best sex the guy has had for years, he becomes smitten and can hardly believe his luck.

He holds her hand and listens intently to her pitiful hard luck stories and then wants to be her knight in shining armour, to the rescue, at any price, dreaming that at last he has discovered a true soul mate and love of his life. So believing in a dream the guy decides to invest in her for a good future.

This is how it begins and of course in most cases the result will turn out completely different to the guy’s expectations.

Three major clues that will determine if the girl is not sincere and giving a guy a load of BS:

• Most of her problems can only be solved with money.
  
• The girl is not willing to give up any of her usual social schedules to be with the guy.
  
• Appears to have many relatives, friends, acquaintances or colleges that she prefers to keep to herself and separate from her so-called relationship with the guy.
  

It`s very simple. If a girl really likes or loves a guy, she will unconditionally follow him anywhere with no strings or provisos attached.

Her main ambition in life will become solely to be with her man without any financial stipulations and social limitations. She should in fact be proud and keen to show off her new boyfriend and let everyone know that he and she is now an item.

If this is not the case, then dream on baby, because it`s going to cost you dear and you are wasting your time.

Now, would I lie to you?

lol

[vreemd13]

name of building and addy?

Of course, Thai only (not advertised as far as my knowlegdement), nice quiet clean place,

Sure, not luxury western grand place (no swimming pool, no gym - BTW who need a gym),

But suits me to sleep, watch television, buy food outside, etc.

Just 30thb motorcy from BTS (a distance I will walk, if I am pissed off even at 40'C - BTW better exercise than a gym),

PS: it was rated as a 3k-3.5k apartment by another Thai friend, so for 5k it would be expensive for natives, which proves I don't think many will have regular 30k-42k room rent

Edited April 30, 2012 by vreemd13

[bangkokburning]

She is making good money. In BKK she can easily live on half that even if both of you share expenses on a modest flat. She likes to spend money, she wants to:

Spend all her money - and more of yours too

Spend only your money and bank hers

Either way it's sort of ugly and a horrible marriage prospect, let alone her asking you directly for cash. Pretty bold.

If you are giving her a stipend, you have just moved into a P4P situation. Wonder what will happen when you cut THAT off?!

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Her main ambition in life will become solely to be with her man without any financial stipulations and social limitations. She should in fact be proud and keen to show off her new boyfriend and let everyone know that he and she is now an item.

If this is not the case, then dream on baby, because it`s going to cost you dear and you are wasting your time.

And even if this is the case doesn't mean it not still going to cost you, but "dear" or not is relative.

Wasting time I don't understand, unless you're looking for "happy forever after until death do us part", which I don't. Relationships have their beginning middle and end, and for me the trick is knowing when and how to pull the plug for a minimum of headaches and expense. Best is if you can make her see herself the time has come and she decides to be the one to end it, and you can remain civil maybe even friends afterwards.

But that can only happen when both parties have the freedom to be completely honest with each other from the beginning and there aren't any false promises in either direction.

Nothing wrong if p4p is acknowledged from the beginning as long as it's not too much, and often true love comes along despite all odds; I just don't expect it to last "forever" as if anything does.

[SteveLynch]

well i guess i am green behind the ears because i have no idea where people are finding these 5 story townhouses for 6k a month within walking distance from the BTS? i mean, when we were apartment hunting we used Thai langauge websites. you walk into a apartment and they will show my wife the price list in Thai. my wife will/would check with people living there what it costs. you can see websites like prakard.com that are thai language. is this an elaborate scam to create a site with farang prices in thai language?

can you show me links to advertisements of townhouses in walking distance to BTS for 6k a month?

the building we are currently staying has a mix of studios and 2 bedrooms (90m2). the studios are 22m2 and rent for 5k a month before utilities. the renters are 90% thai. why aren't these people renting 5 story townhouses for 1k baht more?

I think finding a town house for that within walking distance of anything would be a miracle

I have a friend who just started renting out near safari world ,it's 13k a month ,3bed3bath in a gated community

It's a single house so within that area you might find a modern town house for around 8 if you can be lucky

But I'm pretty sure it isn't even classed as Bangkok

On kaseter namawin road there are some older town houses I believe are about the 6k mark ,

Don't think I could stay in one tough ,pretty skanky tought

A five story townhouse in a moo baan with a pool even on the outskirts of the city ie RAmintra,lardphroa ,general direction is going to cost about 15k and upwards

if u live in a 5 story, 6k a month townhouse can you please post some photos of what it looks like and the location and how you go about finding this kind of deal?

[SteveLynch]

Don't know how I quoted and typed in the same box

Weird but if u wanna read its there

[welshwonder]

i feel alot of you are in living in your own little dream world, and have no real idea about anything that goes on in this country only what you read here. glad i don't know any of you

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

[Neurath]

If you're not living together her expectation of monthly payment from you is unreasonable. In Thailand, these sorts of payments are most often made by married men to younger unmarried women/girlfriends. Situation doesn't have a good prognosis - unless you're into that sort of thing. Paying for everything when you're 'dating' and going out ... no problem.

[JurgenG]

Is there any lady posting in this forum, it would be nice to have their opinion.

Ladies have family and friends and that mean a lot of pressure. I just want to give two examples.

Last month I was in Isan and the talk of the town was a local girl who had just married a foreigner and was building a huge mansion (by local standard), driving a brand new nice car ... The next girl who marry a foreigner will have a lot of pressure to get at least the same or it will be big lost of face for herself and her relatives.

And don't think it gets better when people are more "educated". A lady friend of our was working in an international company with all the female coworkers was from upper middle class. The bitching was permanent. Every other day someone will come with the new designer bag, the diamond earings, the brand name watch ... that her husband or boyfriend had just offered them. If you get nothing from your husband / boyfriend it's either you married a loser or he doesn't love/respect you.

[David48]

Is there any lady posting in this forum, it would be nice to have their opinion.

Ladies ... or Thai Ladies (considering the OP's original question)

[robblok]

Is there any lady posting in this forum, it would be nice to have their opinion.

Ladies have family and friends and that mean a lot of pressure. I just want to give two examples.

Last month I was in Isan and the talk of the town was a local girl who had just married a foreigner and was building a huge mansion (by local standard), driving a brand new nice car ... The next girl who marry a foreigner will have a lot of pressure to get at least the same or it will be big lost of face for herself and her relatives.

And don't think it gets better when people are more "educated". A lady friend of our was working in an international company with all the female coworkers was from upper middle class. The bitching was permanent. Every other day someone will come with the new designer bag, the diamond earings, the brand name watch ... that her husband or boyfriend had just offered them. If you get nothing from your husband / boyfriend it's either you married a loser or he doesn't love/respect you.

That is the whole problem of this world giving in to peer pressure to gain face and live above your means.

[HardenedSoul]

Last month I was in Isan and the talk of the town was a local girl who had just married a foreigner and was building a huge mansion (by local standard), driving a brand new nice car ... The next girl who marry a foreigner will have a lot of pressure to get at least the same or it will be big lost of face for herself and her relatives.

And don't think it gets better when people are more "educated". A lady friend of our was working in an international company with all the female coworkers was from upper middle class. The bitching was permanent. Every other day someone will come with the new designer bag, the diamond earings, the brand name watch ... that her husband or boyfriend had just offered them. If you get nothing from your husband / boyfriend it's either you married a loser or he doesn't love/respect you.

Right, so how do you KNOW it would be such a massive loss of face for the next dirt-poor girl in that village if she doesn't get a bigger mansion and a better car ?

Could it be the case that you're just regurgitating the <deleted> some doddering old fossil on a TV thread wrote when his offer of a Honda Jazz and a 400m2 house was rejected ?

[YipYipYa123]

There is a pressure on village girls to bring back a Richer farang than their neighbors brought, people are not blind and it is basically viewed as your status

Like one girl getting a new BMW coupe and a mansion and another a Honda wave and a crappy condo somewhere

(from their farang husbands or bf)

[chops]

No money no honey. At least she's honest. The farang types want you to think it's free but then file divorce on you to get your house & money. Same same but different strategies.

[theblether]

I think it's easy to blame the poor village girls when in reality it's mental farangs that made a rod for their own back.

There seems to be an " Arms Race " Thai style where farangs are outbidding each other to be the biggest mug in the village.

I would like to hear from the real old-timers what it was like here in the 60's or so, I bet these guys are incredulous at what they are seeing now.

I know that there are members of Thaivisa who are quite delightedly married to Thais without getting involved in this " Arms Race ", and not every Thai girl expects to live in a palace.

I think there has to be responsibility taken by many farangs for showing up in Thailand with their wallets open and brains shut. They are a corruptive influence.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

well i guess i am green behind the ears because i have no idea where people are finding these 5 story townhouses for 6k a month within walking distance from the BTS? i mean, when we were apartment hunting we used Thai langauge websites. you walk into a apartment and they will show my wife the price list in Thai. my wife will/would check with people living there what it costs. you can see websites like prakard.com that are thai language. is this an elaborate scam to create a site with farang prices in thai language?

can you show me links to advertisements of townhouses in walking distance to BTS for 6k a month?

the building we are currently staying has a mix of studios and 2 bedrooms (90m2). the studios are 22m2 and rent for 5k a month before utilities. the renters are 90% thai. why aren't these people renting 5 story townhouses for 1k baht more?

I think finding a town house for that within walking distance of anything would be a miracle

I have a friend who just started renting out near safari world ,it's 13k a month ,3bed3bath in a gated community

It's a single house so within that area you might find a modern town house for around 8 if you can be lucky

But I'm pretty sure it isn't even classed as Bangkok

On kaseter namawin road there are some older town houses I believe are about the 6k mark ,

Don't think I could stay in one tough ,pretty skanky tought

A five story townhouse in a moo baan with a pool even on the outskirts of the city ie RAmintra,lardphroa ,general direction is going to cost about 15k and upwards

if u live in a 5 story, 6k a month townhouse can you please post some photos of what it looks like and the location and how you go about finding this kind of deal?

OK I'll try. First of all, the best deals will never be advertised, you have to get out and walk the back sois, canvas the hair salons, talk to the street vendors and motodops, etc. If I'm determined to find a place in a specific neighborhood I'll get to know people, make up flyers to handout offering a reward etc. it takes a lot of work, definitely deal with the individual owner directly and have to convince them you'll be a good tenant, not pester them to make repairs etc.

The term "townhouse" is probably meant to mean shophouse, like you see on every street in downtown and every built up area, fully connected "rowhouse" I think where you come from? So no yard, probably no back door even, the kind of place that usually has a small store or workshop on the ground floor and the owner lives upstairs.

I pay 12,000 for a five-story house, and it's 15 minutes south of Sathorn, Saphan Taksin BTS and 50m from a river ferry stop, 10m from a top with lots of bus routes. All the Thais in the neighborhood say I'm paying way too much, except of course for the landlord. Going by recent sales in the neighborhood, the house's market value is about 4.5M, maybe a bit more now since we weren't touched by the floods. I take a fair amount of responsibility for paint and repairs, have spent a fair bit on putting in a kitchen and re-wiring for computer systems, network/telecom/TV etc, but the landlord has re-done one of the bathrooms and had some leaks patched up. I keep a running 3 year lease, renewed each year, have permission to operate a business and the option to sublet - this last is very rare. She hasn't raised the rent in six years, and my original three month deposit is now down to one.

You may well consider it "skanky", certainly not anything like a gated mooban, security is my concern (but isn't one AFAIC). There are some semi-noisy businesses on the street, very noisy if a direct neighbor does some construction any time day or night, not safe for the kids to play by themselves outside, but it suits me fine.

I used to rent a 2BR/2 bath single-story place nearby for 4,500 per month, but definitely skanky in your terms, it was on the edge of a slum, drunken louts playing pool and swearing late at night wife didn't want the kids growing up learning that kind of language. Also down a soi without car access, walking only, had to use a push trolley to move our stuff down. That sold for under half a million, but not including the land.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Ladies have family and friends and that mean a lot of pressure. I just want to give two examples.

Last month I was in Isan and the talk of the town was a local girl who had just married a foreigner and was building a huge mansion (by local standard), driving a brand new nice car ... The next girl who marry a foreigner will have a lot of pressure to get at least the same or it will be big lost of face for herself and her relatives.

And don't think it gets better when people are more "educated". A lady friend of our was working in an international company with all the female coworkers was from upper middle class. The bitching was permanent. Every other day someone will come with the new designer bag, the diamond earings, the brand name watch ... that her husband or boyfriend had just offered them. If you get nothing from your husband / boyfriend it's either you married a loser or he doesn't love/respect you.

There is a pressure on village girls to bring back a Richer farang than their neighbors brought, people are not blind and it is basically viewed as your status

Like one girl getting a new BMW coupe and a mansion and another a Honda wave and a crappy condo somewhere

(from their farang husbands or bf)

Yes this is very real, but IMO it's only the total suckers that allow their girl to pressure them into these things based on her or her family's desire for face.

If the guy is truly wealthy and doesn't mind shelling out for his teerak then fine more power to him, but the problem I see is when guys "fall in love" and stop using their brain, allow themselves to be led around by their girl like she's holding a rope going through the ring in his dick nose.

Absolutely nothing wrong in my book to paying a reasonable monthly "allowance" but keeping the total expenditure per month strictly within your budget, and being ready to give her the flit at any time if you stop getting good value for your money.

After three good years with one girl I gave her 200K to build her house on mama's land, and knew that was a gift, basically a bonus, but after the fact, not a deposit on hope of future performance. I ended up lending her another 30K to get the toilet put in, and then she moved on to the next fellow before paying that off in full, but believe it or not sent me the balance from the UK eight months later.

Most girls from the right background (fresh off the rice farm, no English etc) even if they're a little stunner, will be OK with 5-8K per month as long as they think there's a good chance they'll be able to convince you to put a ring on it eventually. Over time this will grow to 10K+ in explicit allowance, but of course total out of pocket would likely be 15K. I consider that fair as long as she's a quick learner and eager to please, doesn't make much trouble on the home front. But the time comes when she's learned her English and has figured out there are much richer greener pastures out there, time for her to graduate and move on, fair enough, works for me.

[Soutpeel]

There seems to be an " Arms Race " Thai style where farangs are outbidding each other to be the biggest mug in the village.

Is this a step up or a step down from being the only gay in the village ?...

[robblok]

There seems to be an " Arms Race " Thai style where farangs are outbidding each other to be the biggest mug in the village.

Is this a step up or a step down from being the only gay in the village ?...

You tell me you sound like you got experience.