pigeonjake Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 this as just beensent to me by one of my mate who knows ive got a pig farm,lol > THIS A COPY OF A GENUINE LETTER SENT TO DAVID MILIBAND..................... > > NIGEL JOHNSON-HILL, PARKFARM, MILLAND, LIPHOOK GU30 7JT > > Rt Hon David Miliband MP > Secretary of State. > Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), > Nobel House > 17 Smith Square > London > SW1P 3JR > > 16 July 2009 > > Dear Secretary of State, > > My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque > for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs.. I would > now like to join the "not rearing pigs" business. > > In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and > which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I > approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as > dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy. > > I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you > want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any > advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester > Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these? > > As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an > accurate record of how many pigs I haven't reared. Are there any > Government or Local Authority courses on this? > > My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs > for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in > 1968. That is - until this year, when he received a cheque for not > rearing any. > > If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not > rearing 100? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself > down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for > the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to > be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in > my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your > department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive > tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and > polluting methane gases? > > Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 > tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not > growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to > not feed the pigs I don't rear? > > I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send > any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the > current DEFRA advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an > e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several > thousand hectares)? > > In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, > and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits. I shall of course > be voting for your party at the next general election. > > > Yours faithfully, > > > Nigel Johnson-Hill 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grimleybob Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 This could open all kind of possibilities. If I don't rear 10 children, will the government give me half family allowance thus saving the taxpayers a massive 50% in childcare costs.+ education, healthcare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamescollister Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Think this letter in one from or other goes back to Ma and Pa Kettle move 1940s. There was a similar thing with the cattle export payment in Southern Ireland. Farmers were taking them to the north, getting the bonus, then their cousin would export them back from the north and get his bonus. It;s a crazy world. Jim 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grimleybob Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 This could open all kind of possibilities. If I don't rear 10 children, will the government give me half family allowance thus saving the taxpayers a massive 50% in childcare costs.+ education, healthcare. After discussing this with the wife, I think I may still enough left in the tank to manage not to have 15 childeren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPI Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 No matter who you vote for the government still gets in! I can clearly see the parallels between the UK and Thailand governments...so sad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosha Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 No matter who you vote for the government still gets in! I can clearly see the parallels between the UK and Thailand governments...so sad! I'm applying for the not harvesting rubber. I'm getting good at it. 555 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsaanAussie Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Well I see a complete implementation of this principle here. Most people expect to get paid for doing as little at possible. Some with very bad habits and do bugger all other than drink and sleep seem to get given the most. Unfortunately I doubt we non-Thais would qualify. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeonjake Posted September 30, 2012 Author Share Posted September 30, 2012 you must of met my father in law,,lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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