Did Thai Wife Dating Ruin Thailand?......

[chiangmaikelly]

There is still a negative perception back home. I often find myself stating my GF's or Ex's profession etc etc soon after I state her nationality.

The reality is many untraveled people think that Thailand is just rice, beaches, longnecks, and whores.

In America they think it is Taiwan. I know. I have a facebook page and all my kids and old friends are there. They know it's in Asia but beyond that and their local Thai restaurant only Vietnam Vets have a clue.

[BookMan]

Vietnamese Brides off to Singapore. Virgins only please.

[HardenedSoul]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Put it this way; when you were 25 and in your physical prime, what would your mates have thought if they saw you bouncing down the street hand-in-hand with an obese woman 30 years your senior?

[Humbugged]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Put it this way; when you were 25 and in your physical prime, what would your mates have thought if they saw you bouncing down the street hand-in-hand with an obese woman 30 years your senior?

Get off the drugs...

[HardenedSoul]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Put it this way; when you were 25 and in your physical prime, what would your mates have thought if they saw you bouncing down the street hand-in-hand with an obese woman 30 years your senior?

Get off the drugs...

You first . . .

[Scully]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Put it this way; when you were 25 and in your physical prime, what would your mates have thought if they saw you bouncing down the street hand-in-hand with an obese woman 30 years your senior?

They would probably say, what you don't have to work?.

[oldsailor35]

An interesting topic. I'm 2 years younger than yourself Blether and I can remember the stigma associated with Filipino and Thai wives when I was young. In Australia, I would say more so Filipino, but both. This is going back a good 20+ years now. Back then, when you saw a male with an asian woman there might have been jokes about how the match happened and was she a 'mail order bride'.

Moving forward to the last ten years, that perception has markedly changed in Australia, especially with the younger generations. There are just so many inter-racial relationships in Australia, it is almost the norm around the inner cities of Melbourne and Sydney to see one. Also plenty of Asian guy/western women ones,

So to answer this Question:

I'm of the opinion that these adverts ruined the Western public perception of Thailand forever

I don't think so at all. Many of the younger generations (under 40s) hardly even give it a thought. Of the scores of people I have met in Australia that have holidayed in Thailand, few, if any have mentioned or alluded to any marriage system over there. If anything I would say there is less a perception of Thailand being a mail order marriage factory than there might have been 20 years back . Whereas twenty years ago when you saw a middle aged guy with an Asian woman (in Australia) assumptions were made it was a mail order marriage: these days it could just as easily be a love match.

20 years ago it was indeed different in Australia, a country where in those early days of mass migration, men outnumbered women by 8 to 1. The Catholic church was very instrumental in introducing ladies to Australians from a catholic country, namely The Philippines. I knew several catholic men who were found wives by their church, and believe me there were many failures.

[theblether]

Vietnamese Brides off to Singapore. Virgins only please.

That looks very straightforward and transactional, I reckon we'll be seeing a lot more of that in Thailand when the Chinese gender imbalance comes to maturity ( and that will be quite soon ).

[chiangmaikelly]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Put it this way; when you were 25 and in your physical prime, what would your mates have thought if they saw you bouncing down the street hand-in-hand with an obese woman 30 years your senior?

It has to do with fertility. Frankly all cultural norms are based in physical attributes of some kind. Men and women are different in length of time they can have children. Also historically childbirth was dangerous and most men had more than one wife before modern medicine make childbearing safer so there is a tradition of a man having more than one wife as more children were necessary to work the farm or other labor intensive industry.

[Humbugged]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Put it this way; when you were 25 and in your physical prime, what would your mates have thought if they saw you bouncing down the street hand-in-hand with an obese woman 30 years your senior?

They would probably say, what you don't have to work?.

I would think he would have to work very hard at finding the spot.

[Songhua]

Vietnamese Brides off to Singapore. Virgins only please.

That looks very straightforward and transactional, I reckon we'll be seeing a lot more of that in Thailand when the Chinese gender imbalance comes to maturity ( and that will be quite soon ).

Yep, it is what it is. There's no pretence whatsoever.

May not need to wait for the imbalance though theblether .... one of the other videos related to this one shows a newspaper article stating that Singaporean men are seeking brides from elsewhere because the Chinese women are no longer subservient.

[chiangmaikelly]

Vietnamese Brides off to Singapore. Virgins only please.

That looks very straightforward and transactional, I reckon we'll be seeing a lot more of that in Thailand when the Chinese gender imbalance comes to maturity ( and that will be quite soon ).

Yep, it is what it is. There's no pretence whatsoever.

May not need to wait for the imbalance though theblether .... one of the other videos related to this one shows a newspaper article stating that Singaporean men are seeking brides from elsewhere because the Chinese women are no longer subservient.

No wonder they don't come to Thailand.

[matt helm]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

It's not really a double standard because the "standard" those people are refereing to or complaining about is not just young girls and older rich men , the "standard" they are mocking is the going overseas part, because they can't get a young girl in their own country. Your notion of 18-25 year old hotties getting with 62 and older men in the west as being "normal" is another nonsense exaguration of reality and would not be normal at all.

In the west no one expects an older guy to hook up with a young girl, in fact your considered over the hill at 40. Your argument could only be valid for younger guys. If an older westerner doesn't want to spend the rest of his days vegetating he has no choice but to look overseas - unless he's someone like Donald Trump, then he can have any young western girl he wants.

[andrew]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Tell me, what do you think of Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Heffner? Both men are quite old, yet both attract much younger women.

Do you think young women are attracted to these men because of their money, or because of their extraordinary success.

Do you think women are biologically attracted to these men because -- perhaps -- they are winners and their offspring may be winners too?

In terms of success, how do you compare with Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Heffner?

------------------------

It's not about money as much as you may think.

Women are attracted to successful men.

Edited January 11, 2013 by andrew

[muythai2013]

if an old man hooks up with a young lady, its consential, hurts no one regardless of the reasons, may hurt themselves sometimes but its not hurting others.

go get em i say.

[Tchooptip]

Yep. Have to say, we've never really encountered the stereotyping issue in Australia. In fact, for us it's been a little more noticeable in Thailand but even then not to a great degree.

Having said that, here is the gist of a strange conversation I had with a guy in his sixties a few years back while on a nice, wholesome family fishing/bbq day in Queensland with the wife and kids:

'how do you find the missus mate, is she a good one?'

'Pardon?'

'yer missus, is she alright? I'm thinking of getting one'

'er, well I didn't buy her, she's my wife and we met while I was working overseas'

'yeah, but somebody told me they're all after yer money so I'm a bit wary of getting one myself. Or is it just luck of the draw?'

'no they're not all the same - they're humans'

' I'm heading to the Philippines in a coupla weeks. Think I'll take my chances and give one a try'

(lol to self) 'good on ya mate. See ya'

It wasn't really until that encounter that I'd even given it much thought but afterwards I wondered 'if this guy was bold enough to walk up and ask me straight out, what are at least a percentage of others on the street thinking? The same thing?'

I don't know how widespread such a perception might be but I do know that not a single one of my own family or acquaintances have ever asked me 'where I got her from'.

Sometimes hard not to be afraid by human nature. The form is anecdotal... the content frightening

[HardenedSoul]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Tell me, what do you think of Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Heffner? Both men are quite old, yet both attract much younger women.

Do you think young women are attracted to these men because of their money, or because of their extraordinary success.

Do you think women are biologically attracted to these men because -- perhaps -- they are winners and their offspring may be winners too?

In terms of success, how do you compare with Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Heffner?

------------------------

It's not about money as much as you may think.

Women are attracted to successful men.

You are completely delusional.

Maybe in your world where pixies and leprachauns form the majority of the population, there really are hordes of buxom young nubiles crying out for the seed of decrepit fossils. I'm sure you really DO believe that there are legions of attractive, self-respecting women putting their hands up saying, "Yeah. Come on Bernie, come on Hugh, knock me up. We want to have your kids because there's a good chance they'll mature into captains of industry one day".

However, here - in the real world - women prefer to find a younger, fitter man blessed with some potential to father their children.

As for how I compare to those two examples success-wise . . . well let's see. I don't have their money for sure but I do have the joie de vivre that comes with being relatively youthful, healthy and financially solvent. I'm unburdened by divorce settlement baggage, I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want without anybody else's say-so and I'm comfortable in my own skin.

Trust me when I tell you that, to a woman, that is extremely attractive and hey, not one monogrammed velvet smoking jacket or a pair of heel lift shoe inserts in sight.

Edited January 11, 2013 by HardenedSoul

[muythai2013]

me and my wife are the same age, but outside of our 4 walls i dont care who is chopping in to who.

[theblether]

HS......you declared last year that your longest relationship lasted 3 months.

Who are you to comment on the mind of a woman? I know plenty of women that would fear you. I bet you don't know why.....

[HardenedSoul]

HS......you declared last year that your longest relationship lasted 3 months.

Who are you to comment on the mind of a woman? I know plenty of women that would fear you. I bet you don't know why.....

Oh REALLY??!!

And where, pray tell, did I make this stark admission?

Maybe you should make sure you can back up claims like that with cold, hard facts. Wouldn't want you to appear daft now would we?

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Thaivisa Connect App

[Tchooptip]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Tell me, what do you think of Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Heffner? Both men are quite old, yet both attract much younger women.

Do you think young women are attracted to these men because of their money, or because of their extraordinary success.

Do you think women are biologically attracted to these men because -- perhaps -- they are winners and their offspring may be winners too?

In terms of success, how do you compare with Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Heffner?

------------------------

It's not about money as much as you may think.

Women are attracted to successful men.

The successful men flat broke are not many me think

[MrRealDeal]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

It's not really a double standard because the "standard" those people are refereing to or complaining about is not just young girls and older rich men , the "standard" they are mocking is the going overseas part, because they can't get a young girl in their own country. Your notion of 18-25 year old hotties getting with 62 and older men in the west as being "normal" is another nonsense exaguration of reality and would not be normal at all.

In the west no one expects an older guy to hook up with a young girl, in fact your considered over the hill at 40. Your argument could only be valid for younger guys. If an older westerner doesn't want to spend the rest of his days vegetating he has no choice but to look overseas - unless he's someone like Donald Trump, then he can have any young western girl he wants.

Then I guess that would make it not normal then wouldn't it ..... geeze dude your arguing against your own point just for the sake of arguing.

[theblether]

HS......you declared last year that your longest relationship lasted 3 months.

Who are you to comment on the mind of a woman? I know plenty of women that would fear you. I bet you don't know why.....

Oh REALLY??!!

And where, pray tell, did I make this stark admission?

Maybe you should make sure you can back up claims like that with cold, hard facts. Wouldn't want you to appear daft now would we?

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Thaivisa Connect App

Okay HS......I'll put my hands up and apologize for that post. It stuck in my mind that you said that you had not had a relationship longer than 3 months......I alluded to it last year and I picked up on this post.

I noticed that you replied later that it wasn't you. It's not like me to get things like that wrong and in this case rather than go chase shadows I'll just put my hands up and apologize.

Sorry.

[matt helm]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

It's not really a double standard because the "standard" those people are refereing to or complaining about is not just young girls and older rich men , the "standard" they are mocking is the going overseas part, because they can't get a young girl in their own country. Your notion of 18-25 year old hotties getting with 62 and older men in the west as being "normal" is another nonsense exaguration of reality and would not be normal at all.

In the west no one expects an older guy to hook up with a young girl, in fact your considered over the hill at 40. Your argument could only be valid for younger guys. If an older westerner doesn't want to spend the rest of his days vegetating he has no choice but to look overseas - unless he's someone like Donald Trump, then he can have any young western girl he wants.

Then I guess that would make it not normal then wouldn't it ..... geeze dude your arguing against your own point just for the sake of arguing.

Maybe it would be easier if you just explained why a regular middle aged man in the west would be expected to find a 20 year old girl from his own country.

[MrRealDeal]

I was pointing out you said it was "normal" for western men to hook up with young western women, and it's not ...... then you went on to say .....".If an older westerner doesn't want to spend the rest of his days vegetating he has no choice but to look overseas" ..... contradicting the previuos claim that it's normal for western men to be with young western women ....... I don't think a middle aged man is expected to do that so I can't explain why it would be.

[David48]

... I reckon we'll be seeing a lot more of that in Thailand when the Chinese gender imbalance comes to maturity ( and that will be quite soon ). my bolding

... and India.

[TommoPhysicist]

As for how I compare to those two examples success-wise . . . well let's see. I don't have their money for sure but I do have the joie de vivre that comes with being relatively youthful, healthy and financially solvent. I'm unburdened by divorce settlement baggage, I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want without anybody else's say-so and I'm comfortable in my own skin.

Trust me, you are way past your sell by date and getting the same sorts of girls as the rest of us old farts.

45 or 65, it doesn't make a difference, you are OLD and no longer hansum.

[Humbugged]

As for how I compare to those two examples success-wise . . . well let's see. I don't have their money for sure but I do have the joie de vivre that comes with being relatively youthful, healthy and financially solvent. I'm unburdened by divorce settlement baggage, I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want without anybody else's say-so and I'm comfortable in my own skin.

Trust me, you are way past your sell by date and getting the same sorts of girls as the rest of us old farts.

45 or 65, it doesn't make a difference, you are OLD and no longer hansum.

Thats harsh.

You need to realise, that even on an annonymoose forum, words like that can lead to depression, suicide and mid life crisis.

Consider your words wisely in the future.

[chiangmaikelly]

Any criticism of an older man looking for a younger women can only stem from a combination of prudery, snobbery, and envy. There are plenty of wealthy western men who hook up with younger western women and it's perfectly normal and acceptable, so why the double standard?

I don't think it's snobbery or envy. I think it's more that people just see it and automatically think, "financial compensation for sex". He's seen as a lascivious letch and she's seen as being "for sale".

Tell me, what do you think of Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Heffner? Both men are quite old, yet both attract much younger women.

Do you think young women are attracted to these men because of their money, or because of their extraordinary success.

Do you think women are biologically attracted to these men because -- perhaps -- they are winners and their offspring may be winners too?

In terms of success, how do you compare with Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Heffner?

------------------------

It's not about money as much as you may think.

Women are attracted to successful men.

You are completely delusional.

Maybe in your world where pixies and leprachauns form the majority of the population, there really are hordes of buxom young nubiles crying out for the seed of decrepit fossils. I'm sure you really DO believe that there are legions of attractive, self-respecting women putting their hands up saying, "Yeah. Come on Bernie, come on Hugh, knock me up. We want to have your kids because there's a good chance they'll mature into captains of industry one day".

However, here - in the real world - women prefer to find a younger, fitter man blessed with some potential to father their children.

As for how I compare to those two examples success-wise . . . well let's see. I don't have their money for sure but I do have the joie de vivre that comes with being relatively youthful, healthy and financially solvent. I'm unburdened by divorce settlement baggage, I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want without anybody else's say-so and I'm comfortable in my own skin.

Trust me when I tell you that, to a woman, that is extremely attractive and hey, not one monogrammed velvet smoking jacket or a pair of heel lift shoe inserts in sight.

So HS, you wrote, “I do have the joie de vivre that comes with being relatively youthful, healthy and financially solvent. I'm unburdened by divorce settlement baggage, I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want without anybody else's say-so and I'm comfortable in my own skin.” Trust me when I tell you that, to a woman, that is extremely attractive. “

Since you are talking about Western rich guys, Hefner and such I assume you are also talking about Western women.

Correct me if I am wrong. You are telling us about Western women and what they like but you live in Thailand and date Thai women.

I don't know why you think you are an authority on Western women. Maybe there is something we could all appreciate if we knew and in fact give you some kind of award as the spokesperson for Western women. But if you think understanding women has anything to do with common sense tis you who are delusional. Do you think because you are a guy who fled the West and dates women in Thailand that makes you an authority on Western woman?

I have been in the Hospitality business all of my life. I have hired thousands of women a year every year for the past 40 years. Thousands. Hotels and restaurants even if well run have a 100% turnover every year. That's a lot of new women every year. I have had Playboy playmates work for me. I have dated beauty pageant winners and the first Charlie girl. Charlie perfume if you are familiar with it. Hef dated her too.

The first job a beautiful women gets in a big city when she drops out of college or gets a divorce is cocktail waitress. It's like shooting fish in a barrel for a middle to old aged managers in the hotel or restaurant business. I have dated 26 year old women all of my life. It's a nice age. Anything you want to know just ask I'm willing to help.

But I think it is far more interesting to discuss just why you think you know so much about Western women when you don't even live there. Are you a Psychiatrist? A psychic? Did you read Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus? Just what is it about you that makes you an expert?

I'm sure you won't tell us it's common sense because even you must know that masculine common sense has nothing to do with female common sense (female intuition).

Edited January 12, 2013 by chiangmaikelly

[TommoPhysicist]

Thats harsh.

But it needed to be said, 25 YO winging about old guys and young girls may have a point, but someone over 40 ........ delusional.