The Secrets To Dating A Thai Guy

[sbk]

Don't put words in my mouth. I think that you posting that another member has a limited experience is a bit like the pot calling the kettle black.

I have extensive experience as yes I am married to one and have many close female friends who have also had/have relationships with them as well as known the many who date guys while on a holiday fling.

I sincerely doubt either you or the girl who wrote the original article can even begin to compare but I don't pretend to know it all or lecture other women on their experiences. My point is that this thread has been filled with observations and judgements by men who really cannot possibly have direct knowledge since THEY ARE NOT WOMEN.

Hope that makes it clear now. Cheers

[Trembly]

My pal is a Thai man who lives off Thai women, he would be considered a gigolo by western standards.

I've spoken with him a lot, and seen him operate (we go out together sometimes). He is very good at extracting money from Thai ladies.

I'm guessing here, but would bet I know him better than the women he sleeps with. Cos if they really knew him, they wouldn't be sleeping with him.

I don't think women understand men all that much. But men do.

I don't think men understand women much, don't have a clue if they understand each other either.

But I do understand my Thai pal, all gifts of money, gold and booze gratefully accepted.

You do have to admire those kinds of guys. Maybe "admire," is the wrong word...perhaps jealous. To be able to seduce a woman with charm and personality, that's most guys' wet dream.

I saw an MTV show years ago in America, sort of a reality TV sort of thing before reality TV became all the rage. It was about these so-called "players," guys who's life is about trying to get as many girls in the sack as possible. These guys really work at their craft. I'm talking the perfect tan, haircut, fitness, clothes, cologne...the works. And of course, the lines and confidence to approach any lady. If I recall, one of the guys was asked to give his advice for the would-be players out there. His advice was "Lie, man. Lie your ass off!" I guess charm and personality alone is not enough.

Meh . . . lying is for losers.

I sense something profoundly wrong with those compulsive pick-up artists who go to all those lengths. To use an agricultural analogy, they behave as if they were spawned by Monsanto and thus require all sorts of expensive affectations to stay alive.

To conscious beings, Monsanto GMO Playa / Playarettte will never be as palatable as Natural & Organic.

I know what sort of beings I'd rather be with.

[Krupnik]

All men like to have power, and in their relationship. Especially Thai men. Even the kind of man that Berkshire was suggesting, he will still have his Thai wife that does everything for him.

For a Thai man who is with a farang woman, in the case of many of the couples I have known, SHE is in fact the one has the power, the money, she even pays and supports him. Some people might think he has got it easy but actually he can often be resentful and bitter that he is in that position and will perhaps try to show that even though she is the breadwinner he has power in some other way. (I know this is a generalisation and of course not the case for all couples in this kind of situation but I do know many that it is.)

On the other hand, where he is still the breadwinner, he is used to being the one in complete control but this won't match for a foreign woman who will expect the same kind of equality that she would have in a relationship with another foreigner.

OP is there any secret to this issue, I would like to know myself.

[sbk]

Wow, that has not been my experience at all but then all of the long term relationships I know are between people who are more or less of equal social standing and education; ie upper middle class with a uni degree.

My husband's family certainly has far more money than I do and yet we have always decided things equally. Another friend owns a resort, rather her husband who is a university educated man with a profession, purchased the land and they run their resort together.

We all have different experiences krupnik, I wouldn't extrapolate that yours is the norm any more than I assume mine applies equally to all relationships either.

[eek]

You don't speak for us all Krupnik, so please don't assume your experience is the same as ours. I disagree with your views on males and Thai males personally.

[Boo]

yep, totally off key there. I would suggest instigating some changes if this is what you are experiencing in your own relationship as it doesn't sound healthy at all.

But as a wise woman once told me, women have the exact relationship they choose, otherwise, why stay in it

[fletchsmile]

All men like to have power, and in their relationship. Especially Thai men. Even the kind of man that Berkshire was suggesting, he will still have his Thai wife that does everything for him.

For a Thai man who is with a farang woman, in the case of many of the couples I have known, SHE is in fact the one has the power, the money, she even pays and supports him. Some people might think he has got it easy but actually he can often be resentful and bitter that he is in that position and will perhaps try to show that even though she is the breadwinner he has power in some other way. (I know this is a generalisation and of course not the case for all couples in this kind of situation but I do know many that it is.)

On the other hand, where he is still the breadwinner, he is used to being the one in complete control but this won't match for a foreign woman who will expect the same kind of equality that she would have in a relationship with another foreigner.

OP is there any secret to this issue, I would like to know myself.

Wouldn't really agree with your comment "all" men - would agree a lot though.

Yes, I've also known quite a few foreign women with that issue. Generally for women with good jobs, well educated and successful in their careers, that can be hard for many Asian guys to take - particularly in big/ capital cities. There's a similar pattern in other SE Asian countries as well.

The difference for many western guys is that they have a few generations to get used to equality. In Thailand gender equality is still in it's infancy in many respect.

Fletch

[sbk]

Actually judging by some of the posts here and experiences friends back home have had, alot of western guys have issues with a successful woman with a good job too.

[sbk]

Post deleted, this is the ladies forum thanks and women are free to air their experiences, both negative and positive here.

[cougar]

Very interesting thread. It's not usual I read a whole thread from start to finish, usually I read the first and last posts. This one kinda dragged me along. What's really interesting to me is the male/female dynamic. This boys' thread in a female forum is rather seductive. It's totally out of place, mainly consisting of hierarchical "I'm better than you" comments, and mostly lacking the peer "we're all in this together" comments one expects from women. For me, Thai men are just the same as other men. There is a plus side and a down side. It just depends whether the pluses, for you, outweigh the negatives. I suppose it all comes down to tradition. Like Thailand is perhaps now 30 or so years behind Western societies in it's treatment of men and women. Lots of Western guys love the oh so sweet, submissive, female image Thai girls portray, and some Western girls love the genteel image Thai men portray. The height thing is fast disappearing. There are plenty of tall Thais around nowadays, benefit of improved nutrition. And another thing, you talk about Thai men as though they were a whole, but the Thais from Issan, the Thais from the South, and.the Thais from central Thailand are all very different. And when you go into political, economic, and sociological differences, this whole thing falls apart. Yes, it is very nice to try and formulate people. I, personally, ignore what people tell me when I meet a new person. I've had some legal training, and I know that hearsay has little value in a court of law Take the person as you find them, I say. Usually, if you have any kind of real relationship, they will open up, and the real person come out, which may be very different from the public persona they display. Having said that, societal pressures are very strong, and the fact a person has displayed certain tendencies doesn't necessarily mean they are going to follow up on them. My conclusion, having a relationship wiv a Thai can be very rewarding, but at the end of the day family, society are usually going to win out. A short term fling can be great, long term it's difficult, very difficult.

[dekdek55]

As a thai man, the only problem for me is shyness. when i find some attractive white women i'm a bit shy to approach them. it's not easy to start a conversation what's more my english is not good.

[eek]

dekdek...just try. If the lady is rude, move on and try again!
One rude farang girl doesnt mean we all are.
Some may even want to learn Thai and happy to exchange.

Welcome to the forum!

[darthmaul]

I am a American/Thai who recently moved to Bangkok. Where do all the hot expat ladies hangout? =)

[LaraC]

(Hope mods will allow this - as is a non-profit page. If not, apologies, and i understand!)

I am a American/Thai who recently moved to Bangkok. Where do all the hot expat ladies hangout? =)

Hi... you could try looking or asking on here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Farang-girl-dating/157242821112291?fref=ts
(Facebook: Farang girl dating)
Have fun in Bangkok

Edited June 29, 2013 by LaraC

[Shayne123]

I think the cultural difference will always get in the way.....very few people I think can get away with happily ever after in a totally foreign place.