Other Half's Girlfriend wants to visit - Advice Required

[kikoman]

I do not see a problem as over the year's we have had many friends and family stay with us some for long periods of time never had any problems. As most are always willing to help with the household chores, there is no entertainment within 15 kilometers from our village, if we party we all party together.

Yes we have at least 8 tables in the house and outside but they prefer to sit on the floor to eat, no one has a problem with that. I find that its is not as expensive as it would be if all ate falang food, but Thai food is inexpensive to make at home and all you have to do is to make a little bit more for your guest.

Most of the friends and family that have stayed with us bring food to our table. We had only one lady that we had invited to stay in our home while she dealt with a problem. We provided all the cost for her 2 month stay (which was very little extra money), but she always helped with the chores. We were very sad when she left as it was very nice to have her around.

Do not get me wrong if I had a visitor that caused problems they would be asked to leave, we have never had that problem.

I enjoy having family and friends stay at our home, and it has always been a rewarding experience, one needs to look at the positives, instead of focusing on the negatives, as I have been blessed with a good and plentiful life,

We are always willing to shared with our family and friends.

Cheers: .

[harrry]

Now let's get this straight.

Your girlfriend is expecting when?

The visit is planned for when.

Possibly the two go together and she wants some support for the baby.

[farang000999]

One word: Threesome.

[Chittychangchang]

One word: Threesome.

Potential mia noi already,lol.

In all seriousness, two women in your house for a long time is frought with dangers no matter how well you think you know them.

The only way we could get rid of my wife's friend was to eventually pair her up with someone, via an on-line dating site.

She left when the poor sucker turned up in his car to drive her away on a whirlwind romance.

You only really get to know someone when you've lived with them.

Just my experience.

All the best whatever.

CCC

[David48]

David, I think from somewhere back along the track i read that you were from the Northern Rivers area, keep in mind I am not far away if you need a hand....

Friend is Uni educated, Accountant and owns a small farm with Rubber Trees.

Easy enough on the eye 38ish from memory ... she's a catch!

Visas are not a problem as she is currently in the States.

I'll let you know ...

.

If you don't show us a picture she's not real!

I have reduced the photo quality way down ...

Nice enough ... but I see her as my younger sister, not as a conquest.

Wouldn't trouble the tape much past 5'2" but possesses a smile and personality which light's up a room.

.

[briboy]

GUYS ... you are assuming that it's a fait accompli ...

The gf (my partner) are equals ... we decide things together ... just it's that our Cultures have clashed a little here.

I was my suggestion to invite her out ... she's a sweetie.

But I was anticipating 2 - 3 weeks ... 2 - 3 not months!

Advice according ...

.

Mate, looks like you will have to get the tourist maps from the nearby areas and do a bit of study for day trips etc as there is quite a lot within driving distance, could always put them on a scooter and give directions to Warwick or Stanthorpe that would keep them busy for a couple of days, no i do not live on the granite belt......

[David48]

@ kevvy ... I asked here because I haven't had to face this problem before. So, when in doubt, ask some mates. I've been happy that the guys here have given well meaning replies and thankfully few replies if any deleted for being poor taste.

There is a loss of face to deal with because my gf and her gf are already planning the trip and for me to simply say NO, after suggesting the idea initially does take some sensitive handling.

@ nonthaburial ... Mate, I feel for you. My situation is slightly different, but you sure copped the rough end of the stick.

@ kikoman ... we are not in Thailand for this proposed visit so the dynamics are completely different, but thanks for the reply.

@ harry ... you must know something that I don't ... ... no level of expectation.

@ CCC ... Yes, just one of the issues that could arise (not the mia noi issue).

@ briboy ... my lady has already been to both Warwick and Stanthorpe. In Stanthorpe, first time she experienced sub 10C

.

Edited July 2, 2013 by David48

[Scottythai]

Well the one shot of advice that comes clear and people seem to be missing is talk with your GF. Tell her thats too long. Say 2 or 3 weeks is fine but that time is much to long and if you do have the relationship you elude to she will understand.

[David48]

Well the one shot of advice that comes clear and people seem to be missing is talk with your GF. Tell her thats too long. Say 2 or 3 weeks is fine but that time is much to long and if you do have the relationship you elude to she will understand.

That's warming as the favourite, but I did want to tap the knowledge base to see if there were other options that I wasn't seeing because I'm in the Relationship ... not viewing from outside of that bubble.

.

[rene123]

Good luck, David, there have been many good replies, and most of them are valid depending on the circumstances. However, what actually transpires could be anything from A to Z. It could be a marvelous experience or a disaster of monumental proportions. It depends on what you want to risk, and it really depends on your lady.

[Rsquared]

Surely Miss Farmgirl could tell you her gf's habits albeit lazy or helpful around the house. Is she a good cook?

I don't think 2-3 months is too long Dave, especially if you look upon her as your "little sister" and she is able to help financially with groceries etc.

The only problem I see is if your Gf has a falling out with her....then it becomes awkward. Lots of things to think about.....good luck mate, but there are worse things that could happen, don't worry about it too much.

Cheers.

[pattayadingo]

2-3 months is a long time to have someone under your feet, someone who may not appreciate your way of life and your routine. It could turn out to be quite hellish, especially if the friend sides with your g/f over some small problems and escalates them. Not that I am saying that will be the case, but over time things can get awkward with visitors.

I'd use a more romantic way to try to reduce the expected length of stay. You know, in bed, Sunday morning, all snuggled up together, type of thing and talking it over.

Most people get a reduced sentence you know

[kevvy]

David , you have to think about your everyday life with your wife , E.G walking to, the bedroom with underwear on , having private time with your wife , discussing private things , and most of your privacy will be gone. sure it is great to have a "sister" visit but just think of the time she will be there . And , I hope it does not happen , but what about if there is trouble , you do not know some one till you live with them .And remember this is your wife sister.

good luck

[Nana Cowboy]

I think it will be a good thing for your wife to have company over a few months. You seem to spend a lot of your free time on thaivisa so this way she won't be bored for a while

[David48]

I think it will be a good thing for your wife to have company over a few months. You seem to spend a lot of your free time on thaivisa so this way she won't be bored for a while

I currently work for myself so, like many others here, Thai Visa is always running in the background on the computer.

It's actually been a source of invaluable information over the years.

One of the members here and I are mates and our two gf's are now best of friends.

So thank you, but Ill defer your advice ...

.

[Eesat]

If you honestly think she's going to leave the day the calendar hits 2 or 3 months you're naive in the extreme,she's moving in for good make no bones about it!

[JLCrab]

Up here 'LA' means Roi-Et but I guess you mean the real thing ... It would seem any Thai person who can afford to live in California can afford to rent other accommodations. Meaning I guess she stays with you at the beginning of her 2-3 month visit while she looks for alternate sleeping quarters for the balance.

Edited July 3, 2013 by JLCrab

[seajae]

mate, my business partner lives just outside Ballina in northern NSW, when I go over there to help with our plants(not illegal ones ) I stay for 2 to 3 weeks maximum and even that is too long for us all. Same when we have visitors ourselves, it does not matter how well you like her it is a matter of having your own space, life becomes very subdued when there is a visitor in the house and it will start to eat at you. I would be telling the gf that 2 to 3 weeks is fine but unless you are very comfortable after this amount of time she must move on. If you are finding her company is not hindering you in any way tell your gf she can stay longer, until she is actually there it is hard to know how it will effect you. Just be straight with the gf, she should understand.

[Waterloo]

2-3 months just staying with you & the misses(no offense I am sure you are a great host) would seem a bit of a wasted opportunity when visiting such a beautiful & exciting country as Australia.

Make her up a nice folder of the opportunitys she will be missing or might like to try whilst she is in country.

Back in the day I spent 2 months backpacking down the east coast at the age of 30, had such a good time I came back a couple of years later to live & work for a 2 1/2 years.

You see all ages & races in the hostels she won't feel out of place, it will be cheap & she will leave with some great memorys.

[briboy]

David, As I understand you have a granny flat? I really think that your lady would know what her girlfriend is like and would make sure nothing came between the 2 of you, you knowing the lady will also help, it would be different if she was a stranger and no way should anybody have to handle that, it is your doing anyway, the 3 months do go quick as we all know, if it was work related then no I would certenly make sure other accommodation was organised within a reasonably short time, mate just do it and good luck, in your posts you come across as a reasonable and fair human being, I also think you would be a fair judge of character, besides BNE is not that far away.....

[onionluke]

David the sister thing is worth thinking about. Is your gf's pall younger or older and who is higher in the peking order ? I ask because what pall and your gf talk about and said pall's influence and opinion may have an unwanted impact on you and your gf's relationship . I hope it goes well for you .

Edited July 3, 2013 by onionluke

[itchybum]

This thread is useless without pics.

[itchybum]

To add.....pics of suitable size to blow up and perv upon.

[jamhar]

GUYS ... you are assuming that it's a fait accompli ...

The gf (my partner) are equals ... we decide things together ... just it's that our Cultures have clashed a little here.

I was my suggestion to invite her out ... she's a sweetie.

But I was anticipating 2 - 3 weeks ... 2 - 3 not months!

Advice according ...

.

Dude, you're asking on TV

So either you're just bragging.

or its a fait accompli

and you're trying to scope out the potential damage.

I'm hoping its the former for your sake

PS, a play by play with lots of pictures would be greatly appreciated

[krisb]

I was thinking she must have money, I can't afford a 3 month holiday. How does she get all the time off work?

[Stradavarius37]

Hot Tub Hijinks!

[jackr]

GUYS ... you are assuming that it's a fait accompli ...

The gf (my partner) are equals ... we decide things together ... just it's that our Cultures have clashed a little here.

I was my suggestion to invite her out ... she's a sweetie.

But I was anticipating 2 - 3 weeks ... 2 - 3 not months!

Advice according ...

.

Well if you're as tight with your missus as you say and are not comfortable, just let her know. Tell her in our culture an invite means a week or two and that is what you meant, but while you're still potentially okay with that, you wouldn't want to put strain on the relationship. She looks pleasant enough etc, but even small things can get on your wick when there's no out... that cute cackle, twiddle of the hair, quiet farting in the bathroom may drive you nuts after months.

[pokerkid]

I do not see a problem as over the year's we have had many friends and family stay with us some for long periods of time never had any problems. As most are always willing to help with the household chores, there is no entertainment within 15 kilometers from our village, if we party we all party together.

Yes we have at least 8 tables in the house and outside but they prefer to sit on the floor to eat, no one has a problem with that. I find that its is not as expensive as it would be if all ate falang food, but Thai food is inexpensive to make at home and all you have to do is to make a little bit more for your guest.

Most of the friends and family that have stayed with us bring food to our table. We had only one lady that we had invited to stay in our home while she dealt with a problem. We provided all the cost for her 2 month stay (which was very little extra money), but she always helped with the chores. We were very sad when she left as it was very nice to have her around.

Do not get me wrong if I had a visitor that caused problems they would be asked to leave, we have never had that problem.

I enjoy having family and friends stay at our home, and it has always been a rewarding experience, one needs to look at the positives, instead of focusing on the negatives, as I have been blessed with a good and plentiful life,

We are always willing to shared with our family and friends.

Cheers: .

Good if it works for you but not everybody wants to go native.

[Groongthep]

Remind her Australia is expensive. Double the cost of living from the US. Plus she'll only get a visa for a max 3 month visit anyway.

I'm an American who has been to Australia several times. (Sydney, Melbourne, Perth, Adelaide). Unless something has changed drastically in the last year this statement is absolute nonsense. Overall, Los Angeles is a more expensive place to live than all four of these Australian cities.

[Bluetongue]

Hi David

All these references to "gods own country ie northern rivers) are making me homesick. Its just the Thai way, they don't book things months in advance they don't make elaborate plans, just tell Miss Farmgirl et al that its Ok but as always these things have a way of working out, if things get strained. Of course there are risks to your peace of mind and relationship (IMO small risks). A good Thai girl would hardly ever be a problem as far as cleanliness etc goes.

Worse comes to worse take her to the Woodenbong pub and leave her there. Or I have a pad on the Summerland Way up past Grevillia that she can use, I wont be there, its only 12volts solar and hydro and no hot water though and there is probably khao pat (555) all over the verandah by now.