Refrain From Telling Lies

[nokia]

"Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly every heard, and mostly what I need from you. . . . . .". (familiar song)

--

The Fourth Precept: Refrain from Telling Lies

By Ven Kumara

Special occasion: Visit by the Sunday school children of Bodhi Langka Ram Temple, Taiping

As children are by nature restless, I’ll keep my talk short.

Do you all consider yourselves Buddhists? Good, I see a show of hands from all here. My next question is: Do you consider yourselves good Buddhists? Aha, I see a show of hands from only about half of those present! How then can we be good Buddhists?

Once the Buddha was asked, “What is a Buddhist?” What makes a person a Buddhist? How are Buddhists different from others?

You are a Buddhist if you take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and the Sangha. Whether or not you are a good Buddhist is a different matter.

The Buddha was also asked, “How is a person considered a good Buddhist?” The Buddha said that so long as he keeps the five precepts, he’s a good Buddhist.

Maybe we can say that there are different levels of being good Buddhists. Some may be able to keep only four precepts, others only three or two. But we should try to keep all five.

Today, I’ll just talk about one precept, one that’s very suitable and important to teach children. That’s the fourth precept. So what is the fourth precept? Yes, it is to refrain from telling lies. People say that this precept is very difficult to keep as compared to say, refrain from killing. For example, to kill a mosquito, you’ve got to take aim first. A lie can pop out from your mouth without having to think much.

How many of you have told lies before? Please raise your hand. Good. At least, we’re honest about that. So, all of us have lied before. So have I. See, I have my hand raised too. To refrain from lying is a very important precept to keep. If a person can lie, there’s nothing he cannot do because he can always cover up his misdeeds by telling lies.

This precept should be instilled into children from a very young age. If you do not tell lies, people will believe you when you speak. Have you heard the story, “The Boy Who Cried ‘Wolf’?” If you are a habitual liar, like the boy in the story, then no one will believe what you say, even when you are telling the truth. If you want to be a leader, you have to be someone who can be trusted and dependable. So you must be careful about what you say.

People look down on those who lie a lot and do not listen when they speak. Lying is bad kamma. As a result of telling lies, your words are weak and nobody listens to you. Some parents complain that their children do not listen to them. The reason for this could be their past bad kamma of telling lies.

Sometimes parents lie to their children in order to get them to listen to them. For example, they tell their children that if they do or do not do such and such a thing, the police will come after them. Children may believe that in the beginning. However, they are not stupid. Sooner or later, they’ll know that it’s not true. As a result, these children will learn to lie in order to get what they want. So, if parents want their children to be truthful to them, they themselves should not lie to their children.

[Ven Kumara then led the kids in a game of “Land-Sea”, which teaches children to be honest in a positive way. The children had a lot of fun and performed well in the game.]

I’m happy to see that the children seem to be quite well taught to be honest. They are willing to stick to the truth even if they have to be dismissed from the game. This reflects well on the parents and the Sunday school teachers.

Let me end by saying that we should all try to avoid lying.

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In regard to the moral precepts, the Buddha described himself as having put away the killing of living things, holding himself aloof from the destruction of life. Having laid aside weapons, he is ashamed of roughness and full of mercy, being compassionate and kind to all creatures. He does not take what has not been given, is chaste, and speaks truth being faithful and trustworthy, not breaking his word to the world. He has put away lying and slander and does not raise quarrels. Thus does he live:

as a binder together of those who are divided,

an encourager of those who are friends,

a peacemaker, a lover of peace, impassioned for peace,

a speaker of words that make for peace.

[suegha]

Very nteresting post. However, isn't it true that all 'religions' hold the same precept. "Thou shalt not bear false witness", or variations on the theme.

Also, there is a difference between 'honesty' and lie telling. Our honesty should not be a 'stream of consciousness', if we (all of us) just said everything that came into our heads, as long as it was truthful, the world would be a mad place to live.

For example, we can use children to prove the point. How many of us have been embarresed by their 'truth'. Our next door neighbour visits, he has a very big nose! Our seven year old says "You have such a big nose!". Of course they are not making a value judgement, they are stating the truth. It's afterwards when we say to them 'you shouldn't say to Mr Smith that he has a big nose', and they reply, 'he has!', and 'you tell me to always tell the truth'.

It is then that we try to teach them that not all truths should be stated.

I did like the post - food for thought.

Edited April 14, 2006 by suegha

[Kruang]

I thought it was quite an interesting post as well. What I found interesting is the way it tried to explain why the truth-telling rule was important to follow -- for example, in creating an environment of trust and dependability in human society. Unlike some religions, Buddhism tends not to appeal to some authority ("god") to explain why moral rules should be followed.

Moral philosophers would say that this sermon provides a "utilitarian" justification for moral rules -- that is, it explains the rules in terms of their effects in the society we share. That's a tremendously important thing to explain to children.

If children understand the utilitiarian principle, we can explain to them why it might not be a good thing to say to Mr. Smith that he has a big nose, even if Mr. Smith asks "Do you think I have a big nose?" (the polite answer: "That nose gives your face a lot of personality"). Utilitarians can explain why telling insignificant lies (or avoiding the truth) is a good thing in some circumstances, while recognizing that overindulgence in the practice could potentially weaken the trust we share, based on the fact that most of the time good people tell the truth about important matters.

Moral rules, like the 5 precepts of Buddhism, are really just a kind of shorthand for morality. Once someone learns why the rules are to be followed, there are inevitably exceptions to them. Or maybe we go so far as to decide, as many Thais have, that there is such a thing, for example, as a moderate and responsible approach to alcohol consumption.

Very nteresting post. However, isn't it true that all 'religions' hold the same precept. "Thou shalt not bear false witness", or variations on the theme.

Also, there is a difference between 'honesty' and lie telling. Our honesty should not be a 'stream of consciousness', if we (all of us) just said everything that came into our heads, as long as it was truthful, the world would be a mad place to live.

For example, we can use children to prove the point. How many of us have been embarresed by their 'truth'. Our next door neighbour visits, he has a very big nose! Our seven year old says "You have such a big nose!". Of course they are not making a value judgement, they are stating the truth. It's afterwards when we say to them 'you shouldn't say to Mr Smith that he has a big nose', and they reply, 'he has!', and 'you tell me to always tell the truth'.

It is then that we try to teach them that not all truths should be stated.

I did like the post - food for thought.

[nokia]

A lie is a lie. White lies, and all other lies for whatever reasons are still lies or untruth. For everyone lies, and does this fact makes us all feel better, or do we strive for a more superior conduct?

In Asia, esp LOS, people "Say what they dont Mean, and Mean what they Dont Say". Isnt it frustrating in the beginning? In the West, a "yes" usually means a "yes", a "no" usually means a "no", but in fascinating LOS, a "yes" can mean a "yes', or a "no" or a "maybe" or "let me think about it first" etc... And these white Lies are tolerated to a great extent, bending the truth in order to spare the feelings of others, to save "face" or to end disputes. For eg, Miss Tip couldn't make it for an appointment or needs some cash and conveniently lied that "mama is sick, or someone got into an accident"... Why cant she just say, "Sorry, i cant make it, or i need the money to buy cosmetics and look prettier"???

Children are usually either very straightforward, or excellent liars. It would be quite ambiguous for the former to differentiate which are the truths are to be stated. It is better to inculcate in them a pleasant lingo of kind words. As children are good imitators, parents should set an excellent example and should never criticize other people, whether in front of the children or without.

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Right Speech. By speaking kind and helpful words, we are respected and trusted by everyone.

Right Conduct. No matter what we say, others know us from the way we behave.

No lying Precept. Respect for honesty

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Lie

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

To tell a lie is to make a declarative statement to another person that one believes to be false, with the intention that the other person believe that statement to be true, and with the intention that the other person believe that one believes the statement to be true.

Some have held that various other forms of intentional deception should be counted as telling lies. Hence the expression "lie of omission" or "concealment lie". This is when a person refrains from making some statement or statements, with the intention that another person believe a false statement to be true, produced entirely by the person doing the refraining. However, it is interesting to note that special expressions have had to be coined to refer to these so-called "lies". This suggests that these acts of omission are not lies, but rather may be consider as strategic positioning of truth. An example is omitting in conversation to one's boss that one has stolen as a child, This prevents the boss from making misjudgements about his employee's present day behavior. In contrast, one may not necessarily need to omit this to one's mother or close friend.

Omitting the truth by remaining silent may at times prevent one from speaking a lie. One may omit a statement of truth such as in the example that one stole as a child, giving another person a false impression that one did not steal as a child in order to prevent an authority figure such as a boss from misperceiving or misjudging them to be a thief as an adult when they are not. An omission or silence that has only the consequence of preventing illusion or misjudgement cannot truly be considered a lie. However, if the intent of omission in this example is to steal from one's boss, then this form of omission may be considered as a true lie of consequence. An omission that has the intent and consequence of producing further fraud or deception is in effect a lie.

Etiquette of lying

Although lies are normally condemned, it is also normally believed that some lies are worse than other lies. In particular, lies that are believed to be harmless lies are often called "white lies" or "fibs".

Augustine divides lies into eight kinds: lies in religious teaching; lies that harm others and help no one; lies that harm others and help someone; lies told for the pleasure of lying; lies told to "please others in smooth discourse"; lies that harm no one and that help someone; lies that harm no one and that save someone's life; and lies that harm no one and that save someone's "purity". Importantly, however, Augustine holds that "jocose lies" are not, in fact, lies.

Thomas Aquinas divides lies into three kinds: the useful, the humorous and the malicious. All are sinful according to Aquinas. Humorous and useful lies, however, are venial sins. Malicious lies are mortal sins.

Psychology of lying

Young children learn from experience that stating an untruth can avoid punishment for misdeeds, before they develop the theory of mind necessary to understand why it works. In this stage of development, children will sometimes tell fantastic and unbelievable lies, because they lack the conceptual framework to judge whether a statement is believable or even to understand the concept of believability.

Covering up Lies

The well known phrase "Oh what a wicked web we weave when first we practice to deceive" describes the often difficult procedure of covering up a lie so that it is not detected at some future time and then that detection serve to bring disadvantage to the liar.

In "Human All Too Human" philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche suggested that those who refrain from lying may do so only because of the difficulty involved in maintaining the lie. This is consistent with his general philosophy that divides or ranks people according to strength and ability. Thus some people tell the truth only out of weakness.

[suegha]

Another interesting post, thanks.

I agree that people make lies 'less' bad by re-naming them fibs or white lies but they are still lies.

Also sometimes people use the word 'opinion' when telling a lie. They mix up the very simple definition of a lie being an un-truth with their feeling or prejudice in regard to a situation. Of course this, like the euphemisms, makes them feel better and more justified in their expressions.

I suppose we should just take responsibility for our own expression of truth.

[ourmanflint]

Very Good Posts... I hate lying, really hate it, but I do, and when I do I wince inside. I have tried as best I can to be honest and forthright, but that path leads to misery, believe me I've said some things to people not caring about their feelings because I believed that the truth would have been better. I now feel that is wrong and there is a greater benefit in sometimes telling lies to preserve the peace. I feel that it is the intent of the lie that is important, I also take the Taoist line that " a good man will do no wrong" or words to that effect.... if the intent is positive then there has been no wrong done.

[Tippaporn]

Very Good Posts... I hate lying, really hate it, but I do, and when I do I wince inside. I have tried as best I can to be honest and forthright, but that path leads to misery, believe me I've said some things to people not caring about their feelings because I believed that the truth would have been better. I now feel that is wrong and there is a greater benefit in sometimes telling lies to preserve the peace. I feel that it is the intent of the lie that is important, I also take the Taoist line that " a good man will do no wrong" or words to that effect.... if the intent is positive then there has been no wrong done.

Agreed, ourmanflint. In the attempt to make the issue strictly black and white it becomes quickly evident that there will always be exceptions that will be made for . . . the sake of harmony. Maintaining harmony is what I use as a guideline. Ultimately it's the intent that determines whether or not you find peace with yourself when you lie. If I'm caught I feel no guilt because I trust my intentions.

[sabaijai]

Very Good Posts... I hate lying, really hate it, but I do, and when I do I wince inside. I have tried as best I can to be honest and forthright, but that path leads to misery, believe me I've said some things to people not caring about their feelings because I believed that the truth would have been better. I now feel that is wrong and there is a greater benefit in sometimes telling lies to preserve the peace. I feel that it is the intent of the lie that is important, I also take the Taoist line that " a good man will do no wrong" or words to that effect.... if the intent is positive then there has been no wrong done.

Agreed, ourmanflint. In the attempt to make the issue strictly black and white it becomes quickly evident that there will always be exceptions that will be made for . . . the sake of harmony. Maintaining harmony is what I use as a guideline. Ultimately it's the intent that determines whether or not you find peace with yourself when you lie. If I'm caught I feel no guilt because I trust my intentions.

Agree that intent is the key.