Another tragic expat suicide

[ghworker2010]

Today I read the news topic re the Austrian guy that allegedly took his own life.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/674557-austrian-man-jumps-to-his-death-from-bangkok-apartment/?utm_source=newsletter-20131015-0812&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=news

Its yet another tragic story that perhaps could have been prevented.

If you are reading this thread and having such thoughts please refer to the ‘Health body medicine’ link which has a sub forum entitled ‘Mental health resource list’. There are trained professionals you can speak to in Bangkok who can maybe help you overcome your negative thoughts. There are techniques that can be learnt and medication that can help in the long term- to turn things around...

<<to the moderators: I believe it would be prudent to leave this in general topics and not move to the health body medicine thread>>

[NanLaew]

I reckon it will have more mileage if the mods move it to the Pub.

[advancebooking]

I agree with OP.

My 2 cents worth is that if I were to be contemplating such a thing I would want to be sure that the alternative (i.e. death) is going to be any better...

To anyone who might have suicidal thoughts my advice is to get on a bus to Pattaya. Go to a bar on beach road and sit at a table with a clear view to the ocean. Order a beer for yourself and your new bar girl (friend) and have her stroke your leg. If this doesn't raise your self esteem, I don't know what will.

[davidst01]

This is a good thread which might help someone. All thoughts are impermanent and getting help can assist with life changes etc.

Agree that this thread should stay in general topics. Maybe more members will read threads under 'general topics' than 'health body medicine'. I have never looked at that section myself in 2 yrs.

[oogster8]

I agree with OP.

My 2 cents worth is that if I were to be contemplating such a thing I would want to be sure that the alternative (i.e. death) is going to be any better...

To anyone who might have suicidal thoughts my advice is to get on a bus to Pattaya. Go to a bar on beach road and sit at a table with a clear view to the ocean. Order a beer for yourself and your new bar girl (friend) and have her stroke your leg. If this doesn't raise your self esteem, I don't know what will.

So having a over the hill prostitute who is only touching you in hopes of getting a payday will RAISE ones self-esteem.

You cant be seerious?

[NanLaew]

I agree with OP.

My 2 cents worth is that if I were to be contemplating such a thing I would want to be sure that the alternative (i.e. death) is going to be any better...

To anyone who might have suicidal thoughts my advice is to get on a bus to Pattaya. Go to a bar on beach road and sit at a table with a clear view to the ocean. Order a beer for yourself and your new bar girl (friend) and have her stroke your leg. If this doesn't raise your self esteem, I don't know what will.

So having a over the hill prostitute who is only touching you in hopes of getting a payday will RAISE ones self-esteem.

You cant be seerious?

Oh I see where you are coming from.

OK, one rubbing your leg and another massaging your neck... that work for you now?

[Radar501]

I agree with OP.

My 2 cents worth is that if I were to be contemplating such a thing I would want to be sure that the alternative (i.e. death) is going to be any better...

To anyone who might have suicidal thoughts my advice is to get on a bus to Pattaya. Go to a bar on beach road and sit at a table with a clear view to the ocean. Order a beer for yourself and your new bar girl (friend) and have her stroke your leg. If this doesn't raise your self esteem, I don't know what will.

First the fleeting boost in self esteem that comes with a bar girl rubbing his leg and professing eternal love.

Then the deflation of self esteem that comes with her emptying his wallet and running off with the next customer.

Just what a vulnerable lonely man needs at that point of his life.

My advice is to get on a bus AWAY FROM Pattaya.

[CharlieH]

Anyone who has or is suffering in anyway to the degree of contemplating suicide, is not in a position to ask for help nor are they likely to get on a bus to go to get professional help. If they have reached that point it is unlikely they can focus on anything other than the way out.

Such ideas and suggestions would already be too late, they need help BEFORE they reach that point. Who knows for them it may be the last resort and seem quite logical and the only way to relieve what seems to be the inevitable, whether that it from lack of money, health problem, lost loved one, who knows, could be anything, each is very personal circumstances to that individual. No one can possibly "know" how they feel.

The best help is to catch it early on, talk to them if you know them, if you notice a change in mood or absence from uaual activity, take a momemt to actually give a sh* t about people you consider as friends or aquaintances.The signs will be there if you care enough to look and listen.

Edited October 15, 2013 by CharlieH

[Swiss1960]

This is a good thread which might help someone. All thoughts are impermanent and getting help can assist with life changes etc.

Agree that this thread should stay in general topics. Maybe more members will read threads under 'general topics' than 'health body medicine'. I have never looked at that section myself in 2 yrs.

Sorry to be blunt and maybe insensitive, but this thread will not prevent a single suicide... people who have past the point of "only" having huge problems (that is the first stage) and are already having suicidal thoughts will NOT actively seek help. Shame and loss of face are factors that stop them from sharing their issues with strangers. They are already in a hole so deep that they don't see any solutions for their problems.

Only close and good friends who hopefully take note of the situation of such a person can - sometimes - offer advice and help and prevent the final suicide step. Problem is now with people who live away from their home country - retirees / ex-pat's in what ever country - might not have those close friends / relatives / family anymore and thus will sink deeper and deeper into their desperation and unfortunately, the outcome mostly is another jump.

[Andre0720]

If someone feels this is the best thing to do, so be it....

Some people just cannot find happiness in this world.

If I ever get to that point, let me go.

Some who died, and came back to life after a short time, are a bit annoyed of not having been left in the beyond...

[hellodolly]

I knew a fellow once who was in the business of lending money at high rates. He knew a lot about it and to;d me that a lot of suicides are really debt payments.

Here in Thailand it is entirely possible for people to become so despondent that suicide is the only way out. but it is also just a cover up for other deaths.

[Konini]

This may be a bit like go and have a cuppa with the old codger down the road as you may be the only person they speak to all week.

My mam has been on her own for 14 years now, and the more time I spend with her, the more I realise just what loneliness is. It must be a terrible way to feel.

May I suggest that if anyone has a neighbour who is alone, invite them for a couple of beers or a cup of coffee. Even if they are a pain or talk rubbish, just for an hour or so. It may save their life.

[slipperylobster]

My suggestion is to get as far away from the bar scene as you can. Try the mountains...get off the sauce and clear up the head. Exercise those leg muscles and engorge your senses with beautiful things. Get away from those money grabbing hookers and talk up some locals (as best you can) that never been near a barstool (or condom machine). Get your life back.

[ghworker2010]

My suggestion is to get as far away from the bar scene as you can. Try the mountains...get off the sauce and clear up the head. Exercise those leg muscles and engorge your senses with beautiful things. Get away from those money grabbing hookers and talk up some locals (as best you can) that never been near a barstool (or condom machine). Get your life back.

I totally agree with this comment as daily exercise can really help when depressed- this has been medically proven.

A change in a situation is best and thus a trip anywhere- to the mountains as suggested is a good idea. Or get on a plane and go somewhere different for a week.

[MacChine]

I agree with OP.

My 2 cents worth is that if I were to be contemplating such a thing I would want to be sure that the alternative (i.e. death) is going to be any better...

To anyone who might have suicidal thoughts my advice is to get on a bus to Pattaya. Go to a bar on beach road and sit at a table with a clear view to the ocean. Order a beer for yourself and your new bar girl (friend) and have her stroke your leg. If this doesn't raise your self esteem, I don't know what will.

Not sure how engaging the services of a bar-girl is really any kind of answer, especially for the 52% of the population that are female.

[ableguy]

So sad that this topic has turned into what the therapeutic values of an issan Hooker is to depressed suicidal fellow human being. says a lot I guess.

[MacChine]

Not all people crave company. They may find others tedious and boring. If people live alone, it usually is a choice.

This may be a bit like go and have a cuppa with the old codger down the road as you may be the only person they speak to all week.

My mam has been on her own for 14 years now, and the more time I spend with her, the more I realise just what loneliness is. It must be a terrible way to feel.

May I suggest that if anyone has a neighbour who is alone, invite them for a couple of beers or a cup of coffee. Even if they are a pain or talk rubbish, just for an hour or so. It may save their life.

[Suradit69]

I agree with OP.

My 2 cents worth is that if I were to be contemplating such a thing I would want to be sure that the alternative (i.e. death) is going to be any better...

To anyone who might have suicidal thoughts my advice is to get on a bus to Pattaya. Go to a bar on beach road and sit at a table with a clear view to the ocean. Order a beer for yourself and your new bar girl (friend) and have her stroke your leg. If this doesn't raise your self esteem, I don't know what will.

First the fleeting boost in self esteem that comes with a bar girl rubbing his leg and professing eternal love.

Then the deflation of self esteem that comes with her emptying his wallet and running off with the next customer.

Just what a vulnerable lonely man needs at that point of his life.

My advice is to get on a bus AWAY FROM Pattaya.

"My advice is to get on a bus AWAY FROM Pattaya."

And even farther away from this Thai Visa thread.

Edited October 15, 2013 by Suradit69

[atyclb]

*Deleted post edited out*

Tragically or fortunately there actually exists a % of foreign males in Thailand that are analytical / reality thinkers and could end up more depressed because the "money interest only" female is brown nosing him. Not exactly a "self esteem raisning" situation.

[atyclb]

Actually to deal properly with girls who work as YOU KNOW it is imperative for the customer to have high self esteem to begin with, Or else said guy is in for a world of hurt.........................lol.

IMO level of self esteem and desire to be with a Thai hooker are inversely related.

[benalibina]

Reading this thread makes me wonder about the pathetic people who suggest a pattaya bargirl can enhance the thoughts of comitting suicide or take 1 away from it. Above poster has on a way a point. However the word " desire" is in my opinion incorrect on post 26. But maybe he means a subconscieus desire.

To prevent someone from suicide is to give LOVE and EMOTIONAL SUPPORT !!!

[albro]

This may be a bit like go and have a cuppa with the old codger down the road as you may be the only person they speak to all week.

My mam has been on her own for 14 years now, and the more time I spend with her, the more I realise just what loneliness is. It must be a terrible way to feel.

May I suggest that if anyone has a neighbour who is alone, invite them for a couple of beers or a cup of coffee. Even if they are a pain or talk rubbish, just for an hour or so. It may save their life.

Well said, Konini.

[shaurene]

*Deleted post edited out*

This may have been his problem from the beginning. It is very sad for someone in this state of mind to feel it is the only way.

Never being in this position it is hard to try and understand.

[EyesWideOpen]

So sad that this topic has turned into what the therapeutic values of an issan Hooker is to depressed suicidal fellow human being. says a lot I guess.

Since it seems to me that a lot of farang suicides here in Thailand are caused by failed " relationships" with Isan hookers, it would stand to reason that perhaps they could also be the solution to stopping these suicides... :-)

[Suradit69]

Not all people crave company. They may find others tedious and boring. If people live alone, it usually is a choice.

This may be a bit like go and have a cuppa with the old codger down the road as you may be the only person they speak to all week.

My mam has been on her own for 14 years now, and the more time I spend with her, the more I realise just what loneliness is. It must be a terrible way to feel.

May I suggest that if anyone has a neighbour who is alone, invite them for a couple of beers or a cup of coffee. Even if they are a pain or talk rubbish, just for an hour or so. It may save their life.

"Not all people crave company. They may find others tedious and boring. If people live alone, it usually is a choice."

Amen. And quite often it's the unavoidable company/intrusion/demands/expectations/busy-bodiness of "others" that drives one to contemplate suicide, not the absence of them. You don't need to be alone to feel lonely and being alone is not synonymous with loneliness.

Edited October 16, 2013 by Suradit69

[Swiss1960]

Normally not calling for mods, but in this case, it would be great if they clean out some of the poisoned comments of some a..h.... in this thread and give these guys some time to think... about a month or so...

Are you too stupid id.... to realize that we talk about human beings who are so desperate that they see no other "solution" but to end their own lifes?

Disgusting....

[GuestHouse]

There's some information here on the causes of suicide - to quote "Untreated Depression is the number one cause of suicide" the page then gives a list of 'Some of the negative life experiences that may cause depression, and some other causes for depression'.

Within the list are a number of commonly quoted reasons why expats came to Thailand in the first place, the list also includes a number of commonly quoted problems TVF members have with life in Thailand.

http://www.suicide.org/suicide-causes.html

The page also includes a wealth of information about suicide if anyone is interested in reading up about it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's what I regard as the interesting point.

It is the Untreated Depression bit.

I've met a number of expats who I have believed to be suffering depression, I've met many who exhibit clusters of the causes and indicators of depression per the list in the link above.

We need not go far, I'll not mention them, but there are members here on TVF who repeatedly go back to particular subjects (episodes in their own life) right off that list. I wonder sometimes if people understand what they tell us when they write posts on TVF is not always what they wanted to tell us.

Or perhaps they do and that is what brings them to TVF in the first place. - Just a thought.

There is something else.

In the 80s/90s, there was an organisation called Community Services Bangkok that provided help to expats with mental health issues - I don't think this organisation exists anymore. Clearly the need did not disappear.

I've also commented before that Thailand has a large population of expats, many who are old, all are getting older. - The result is that many Thai towns/districts have significant numbers of ageing expats who, back home, would be able to call on the support of a welfare office - This support is not available in Thailand, unless you have a supportive wife/girlfriend/family or the money to buy these services in the private sector.

But of course it is the people who have not formed substantial family connections and who do not have sufficient cash who are most likely to need the services that are not available.

There's a gap here that needs to be filled, and there is a gap in understanding which I suggest we all of us would be wise to fill (visit the page above and have a read through) - suicide is not just about the individual who takes their own life, or tries to take their own life - it has deep and long running impacts on their family and friends.

It is, whether you like to accept the fact or not, an elevated risk amongst expats for the very reasons above.

Edited October 16, 2013 by GuestHouse

[Travel2003]

I understand at least half of the members posting in this thread know why this fellow did this.

After all, you have the solution how to avoid it, so clearly you also know why he did it.

Care to share?

[oogster8]

One thing i notice is i see a lot seem to believe in utopia. Organization for this issue another organization for that issue. Life is life.

Thailand aint no utopia. It is as far away as one can imagine.

In life there going to be over achievers, under achievers , and those in the middle. We are not all the same.

Edited October 16, 2013 by oogster8

[Travel2003]

Imagine!

Some members suggest, and others think it is a grand idea to get on a bus and head for the biggest toilet in the world, and seek out a prostitute to remind one that life isn't that bad after all.

This, after the person has come to the conclusion he will end his life.

If there are 1000 stages with reasoning and thinking about how bad ones life is, and the 1000th is the ending.

I bet the prostitute thing was passed around stage 10-15.

The downwards spiral a person is in when heading for suicide, needs more than cheap Leo from 7/11 to fix.

Need no PHD to know this.