Hash House Harriers

[soap]

Greetings To All: CHRISTMAS HASH 20 DECEMBER START 2-30PM

As the days are getting shorter and the Hare, Well Oiled plans to use ithems (as in past Christmas hashes) to carry hashers to the starting point

we have decided to BEGIN THE HASH EARLIER THAN USUAL ie 2:30 PM. Please all be on time.

Here are the driving instructions to the Oiled house where we will meet the ithems (locally constructed farm trucks).

Driving Up From the South on A1, Super Highway towards Mae Chan:

As son as you cross the Rim Kok Bridge look for a red light and turn left.

Follow that road to the west for a distance of 3.3 km to a three point intersection.

Look for a HHH sign and then turn right and proceed north to Ban Sai Moon for a distance of 4.5 km.

At the Ban Sai Moon 3 point intersection look for another HHH sign and swing right and proceed 90 meters to a Soi 5 sign (and another HHH sign)

Turn right into the Soi 5 and proceed east for a distance of 900 m to a Wat sign (and HHH sign).

The Oiled house is just up the road to the Wat on the right hand side. Park your car along Soi 5 and we will get on the ithems at that point.

It will take about a half and hour to get to the Oiled house from the Ha Yaek Mengrai statue.

Driving Up From the West of Town Using The Mae Fa Luang Bridge

Once you have crossed the bridge, go straight up (north) the road through Nam Lat village for a distance of 4.5 km to the Ban Sai Moon 3 point intersection.

Look for HHH sign number 2 and swing right for a distance of only 90 m to Soi 5.

Then follow the directions as above.

Then you are there!!

Start Time is 2:30 pm sharp.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

Report of Run #62: Saturday, December 20, 2008

Annual Christmas Hash!

Hares: Well Oiled assisted by Oiled Well

Location: The Oiled House off Soi 5, Ban Sai Mun

Celebrating Christmas at the Oiled’s house has become a tradition over the past three years with the Chiangrai HHH. This year’s gathering began anxiously as Hand Cock, the Hash Beer had yet to show up with the beer. People began to wonder, “Why is Do It Yourself, our super efficient Hash Cash collecting when the outcome of this event is still uncertain?” At the last moment as the Well Oiled was herding a skeptical public unto the ithaems, Hand Cock finally appeared in a well stocked pick-up. The collective sigh of relief was audible at the temple at the top of the hill where monks were trying to meditate through all the grumbling.

Thirty seven hashers showed up on this occasion. Nineteen were men, all farangs as usual. There were fourteen women, ten of whom were Thai. Finally there were four children all boys and all half Thai. The youngest was virgin Kodi, aged four who Nam Ron carried in a seat strapped to his back and thus found an excuse to linger among the walkers.

The ithaems took the hashers in comfort out along Soi 5 about one kilometer. Then, for reasons still untold, they stopped in a side soi and obliged their passengers to off-load. Multiple layers of paper discarded from Christmases Past led our heroes down country lanes, over hills and through rice fields. Flaps was the only one to try to run. He soon became discouraged and was soon caught up by Do It Yourself, G.M. Able Semen and virgins John and Deon (son of Stoned). These four fast walked their way ahead and reached the final drinking point about ten minutes before the others.

At two points it crossed irrigation ditches where Smoked Weiner, momentarily escaping his mother Jolly Molly, found it convenient to ignore the bridges and step into the middle of the flowing water. Thus he acquired a new hew to his long blue pants. Many others like Scotch on the Rocks, Loose Spoke, Pat on the Back and Dirty Hairy cheated by using a pole to stop sliding down the muddy bank.

The trail ended on Soi 5 but before one reached the ithaems, there was one last deviation off the road signaled by chalked arrows. No sooner than one stepped on to this trail but we came across a chalked bar indicating a false trail. This confused Pickled Prik and Doesn’t Matterhorn who thought they had stumbled upon a new lexicon of HHH symbols. While Hand Cock searched vainly in the woods before the bar, your fearless correspondent soon discovered paper beyond the false trail sign and then led the others back on to the original trail in reverse direction. That soon led to the itaems where some remained while the thirsty walked the remaining kilometer back to Oiled house where they hoped to get an early start on the beer.

Your faithful correspondent was among the latter group but to his surprise and annoyance the ithaems collected their charges quickly and arrived at the house before him. Then he discovered with horror that Barry, his wife Jan and his parents visiting from Canada who were supposed to guarding the beer were themselves indulging with the FRBs who must be renamed because none of them ran.

Oiled Well produced a fine buffet of grilled chicken, sticky rice, shredded shrimp and spring rolls. This hungry, besotted group made short work of that feast.

Well Oiled produced a bag full of stuffed animals as Christmas presents first for the children, notably Kodi, Kenji, Smoked Weiner and Superglue and then for the child at heart. The G.M. received a pink rabbit in recognition of his efforts.

G.M. Able Semen then called for a circle to honour our host-hares with the usual down downs. Virgins were similarly toasted. Nam Ron drew attention to our host’s predilection for a high class Bulgarian beer while serving us the local cheap stuff.

Before closing the G.M. tried to sell some t-shirts. He pointed out that Christmas was coming and he couldn’t think of a better present to a loved one than one of our beautiful surplus t-shirts. However in the absence of our beautiful model, Boy Magnet that line got nowhere. On the contrary when the G.M. showed off how wonderful the t-shirt looked on him, Reverse Thruster asked if he could donate his t-shirt back to the pile.

Before concluding the G.M. endorsed Well Oiled’s call for annual statistics. They are as follows:

Altogether there were 363 person-events during 2008. The average attendance per hash was 30 people. The lowest turn out was 21 at the March hash. The best turn out was 44 people in July when we met at the Wild Woman house.

Exactly one half of the participants were men. All but one of these was a farang. The one Thai never returned after that first appearance. Women made up 36% of the participants and 88% of these people were Thais. The remaining 14% were children who are mostly half Thai.

on on

wirgin bluce

[soap]

CHAINGRAI HHH 17TH JANUARY START 3:30 PM

Dear all,

The chosen hare for this month's hash is Smoked Weiner; for those of you who don't know him, he might appear a bit younger and smaller than your average hare. But not to fear--this won't be a bunny trail--as the hare's grandfather, Reverse Thruster, has eagerly laid out once again the trail for our brave and mighty C. Rai HHH.

The 17 January hash will follow shaded trails on and around Doi Khao Kwai, the hill 4km south of town.

Driving directions: Starting at the Little Duck Hotel (the architectural

marriage of Potala and San Quentin), leave by the western entrance, setting

your trip odometer to 0.0. Turn right from the Little Duck Hotel parking lot onto Phaholyothin Road, heading north toward town.

Take the first left at km 0.6 onto Doi Phabaht Rd. heading west. This T

intersection is marked by a sign for "Napa Lodge." (If you miss the turn,

make a U-turn at the PTT gas station 50m beyond on the RH side of Phaholyothin Rd.)

Follow Doi Phabaht Rd westward, crossing the old runway at km 1.0, heading toward the temple entrance archway.

Before the temple entrance, turn left to head south along the temple wall.

Turn right after the crematorium grounds at km 1.3 and head west along a

narrow paved road.

Turn sharp left at the King's portrait at km 1.5. Follow Doi Phabaht Rd.

curving generally southwest for two and a half km. Please drive slowly

through the community.

At km 4.0 turn right through a high wooden gate (HHH sign) onto a straight

laterite road heading north toward Doi Khao Kwai. Turn right at km 4.2

(HHH sign) heading east on a narrow dirt road past a lumber shed. Park

in the orchard beyond.

The hash will start promptly at 3:30 PM to ensure that no participants are

left overnight in the deep woods. On On.

JollyMolly

[soap]

Hares: Smoked Wiener assisted by JollyMolly and Reverse Thruster

Location: The Reverse Thruster orchard at the foot of Doi Khao Kwai

Word must have gotten out that pizza would be served at the Reverse Thruster palace following the 63d Hash, because the turn out exceeded all expectations. Altogether there were 41 adults and ten children. Twelve confessed to be virgins. For the first time ever, there were women than men. Of the 25 women, exactly half were Thai. As usual all of the 16 men present were expatriates.

Our ever vigilant Hash Cash, Do It Yourself ably assisted by Do It Better was there with his hand out to greet one and all. Upon the arrival of Well Oiled and Oiled Well, our leaders determined all who were coming, had indeed come. So the run began.

Rather than hang back to sweep for lost souls, the hare Smoked Wiener delegated that task to his mother while he and his cohorts swept up the hill rendering the first set of checks utterly useless. Meanwhile Reverse Thruster drove to the top of the hill with water and two grandmothers. Shockingly, our most popular G.M. ever, now returned from a Liverpool taxi, also grabbed a free lift to the top.

In remarkable similarity to previous runs in the Doi Khao Kwai area, the trail went up and down the hill in reckless abandon. The only thing it didn’t do, is go level. Eventually it ended up (predictably) at the temple at the top of the hill which provided commanding views over the town of Chiangrai . It was sunny and warm up there and only the prospect of after-run treats could persuade Wild Woman, Rolling, Stoned, Pat-on-the Back and Superglue to leave that beautiful spot.

About an hour after setting off the last stranglers found their way to the palace. Nam Ron gallantly struggled to get sons Kodi and Kenji to the end. By contrast, Doesn’t Matterhorn abandoned Swiss Roll in his race to the pizza. Yulia and Polly kept a low profile hoping no one would remember that they were overdue for a hash name.

In toasting the hare, Smoked Wiener found the cup of coke too big for him. After a few sips he dumped the remainder over his head. This prompted the G.M. to complain about the environmental hazards of seepage.

Boy Magnet looked gorgeous in her freshly ironed HHH t-shirt. This stimulated unquenchable demand for t-shirts among the female virgins who observed the focus of male hasher attention. Then G.M. Able Semen confessed that he had forgotten to bring t-shirts for sale.

Only four of the virgins (Philip, Simon and consorts) dared indicate any interest in joining our group. As for the others, Hand Cock and Helping Hand admitted to enticing four short-term volunteers under false pretenses while Tricia dragged several relatives off the plane from America . Guy and Walter confided that they came only for the free pizza. They refused to give your faithful correspondent their email addresses for fear that the neighbours might think that they regularly associated with a group like this.

On! On!

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

[peter124]

Hi there,

I have recently moved to Chiang Rai, the HHH sounds great and my Thai Wife is into mini marathons and the like, whats the date of the February run?

In hope,

Peter & Wi

in darkest BanDuu

[soap]

Hi there,

I have recently moved to Chiang Rai, the HHH sounds great and my Thai Wife is into mini marathons and the like, whats the date of the February run?

In hope,

Peter & Wi

in darkest BanDuu

hello peter

welcome to chaingrai,we have the hash once a month on the third saturday of the month

so our next hash will be on the 21st february.

directions are posted on thai visa or if you PM me with your email address we will put you on are email list

ypu are most welcome

[jubby]

Hi Peter,

I've been thinking about trying it out also especially since were always in town on saturdays.

Maybe we'll join you at the next meet.

Its funny how I always thought HHH was some weird american thing but found out it was actually started by some brits in singapore in days gone by ;-)

[svenivan]

Hi Peter,

I've been thinking about trying it out also especially since were always in town on saturdays.

Maybe we'll join you at the next meet.

Its funny how I always thought HHH was some weird american thing but found out it was actually started by some brits in singapore in days gone by ;-)

Hi guys, you are all very welcome to HHH.

You don´t have to be a good runner, most of us are just walking the track and let the FRB´s do the hard work!

But if you like to run and work hard there are plenty of room in the front and you will have a good workout.

"Hashers are drinkers with a running problem". So after the hash you can choose to drink beer or soda.

For the moment 50 baht for nonbeerdrinkers and 150 baht for beerdrinkers. You pay before the hash so we still got your money if you get lost!

About brits in Singapore, I think officially the brits in Kuala Lumpure started the HHH!

On, on!

/Hash Cash

[jubby]

Singapore; Kuala Lumpur; same , same.... British Empire. The Sun Never sets and all that. ......

Oh How the Mighty have Fallen

We'll have Kids in tow, 3 'Coke' addicts, whats the fees for them ?

[soap]

Singapore; Kuala Lumpur; same , same.... British Empire. The Sun Never sets and all that. ......

Oh How the Mighty have Fallen

We'll have Kids in tow, 3 'Coke' addicts, whats the fees for them ?

kids go free

[jubby]

Nice ;-)

[soap]

CHAINGRAI HHH

HI ALL

Here are the directions to the next hash on Saturday Feb 21. As the days are getting longer and hotter, we will begin this time at 4 pm.

Take Super Highway south from town. Proceed as far as the traffic lights at the White Temple turning.10 metres beyond the lights there is a small soi leading off to the left. Take this road but it is quite difficult to spot (there will be a Hash sign here). After 900 metres the road bears sharply right; follow main road round to right. After 200 metres, main road bears sharply left. Again follow it to left.Take care here because there is a road which goes straight on. After about 1.5 kilometres, there is a village. 300 metres beyond village, there are two dirt roads leadingoff to the left and these are seperated by a canal. Turn left on to the second of these roads (there will be another Hash sign here). Follow this dirt road. After 150 metres, road turns right, and after another 300 metres turns left (another Hash sign). Proceed for 800 metres to Hash Meeting point. Count on 30 minutes drive from the Big C.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

Report of Run #64: Saturday, February 21, 2009

Hares: G.M. Able Semen assisted by Willing-and-Able

Location: Near Wat Rawng Khun in the shadow of Hua Doi mountain

Our February hash was notable for the number of core hashers not present. Hash Cash, Do It Yourself and Hash Beer, Hand Cock found replacements in our most popular G.M. ever, Shocking and the perpetual Scribe, Wirgin Bluce. Bushwacker was also missed but less so her inseparable companion, Nam Ron. The later it got the more surely we all expected the Oileds to appear. Eventually Wild Woman phoned Well Oiled. That’s how we discovered that they plan to come on the morrow.

Nonetheless 25 people showed up for the run of whom seven declared themselves virgins. There were eleven farang men. The women numbered six Thais and two farangs. Six were kids.

The G.M. tried to get the hashers moving promptly but no one would leave before seeing the beer properly iced. There was no shortage of helping hands when the temporary Hash Beer finally arrived with the stocks.

Front Running Bastards Hallo, Hallo, Doesn’t Matterhorn and Brussels Sprouts disappeared as soon as the door to the beer car was locked. Having learned from previous experience how easily these FRBs can lead people astray, the hare, G.M. Able Semen ran with them leaving his assistant, Willing-and-Able to sweep the route. The next time we saw the FRBs, they were retching in withdrawal symptoms waiting for Wild Woman to return with the car key.

The rest of the hashers spread themselves out in a long row. Virgins Peter, Paul and Marty closely followed Ben and Yvonne incorrectly assuming that they knew what they were doing. At the rear, Pat-on-the-Back led a pack of female virgins and children including Wee, Som O, Doi, Nawng and Yo Yo. Mike destroyed a bamboo bridge stranding daughter Jo on the wrong side.

The prospects of selling more t-shirts did not look good as the curvaceous Boy Magnet neglected to don her form-fitting wear. However Mike was so impressed by the way the t-shirt flatters Superglue’s stocky frame that he thought it might hide his paunch as well. Fortunately he also bought one for svelte Jo who will surely have more success prompting future sales.

Before asking for volunteers to hare future hashes, the G.M. honoured Smoked Wiener who has always responded positively to such calls. Mother Jolly Molly looked on proudly as her five-year-old downed his first glass of beer. His grandfather, Reverse Thruster, will be pleased to see how precociously the boy masters essential HHH skills, she said.

Future hares, mostly absent, answering the call were:

March Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman

April Hand Cock and Helping Hand

May Do It Yourself and Do It Better

June Stoned and Rolling

As the meeting broke up, first off was the temporary Hash Cash with the collection before the temporary Hash Beer could present the bills. Thus our group continues to have a positive cash balance for a few more days.

Hint the link below for photos of this run.

On! On!

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

NEXT CHAINGRAI HASH SATURDAY 21ST MARCH START 4-00PM PROMPT

Saturday the 21st will soon be upon us and that of course is the day of our next Chiangrai "Start Slowly and Taper Off" Hash. This time Wild Woman and I will be the hares. The location is our farm off the road to the Khun Korn waterfalls. Here are the driving instructions:

Going south from Big C along the Asian Highway (Route no.1) drive to the second set of stop lights (about 10 km) and then turn to your right. The overhead green sign will indicate that this is the direction to Khun Korn. You will pass the white temple (Wat Rong Khun) and continue about 2 km to the a t-junction. Here you will turn left to go south along the Old Chiangmai Road. Drive 3 kilometers until you reach another t-junction where another sign indicates the way to the Khun Korn waterfalls. Turn right here and drive yet another 5 kilometers. As you climb a hill and approach a steep left curve in the road, you will see a temple on your left. Turn right into a village road (HHH sign) and descend the hill through the village about 100 meters. Turn into the second road on your left (HHH sign) and drive over the bridge. Turn left into the first farm (HHH sign). Park your car and get ready to run.

Expect to take about 40 minutes from the Big C to the Wild Woman farm. The run will start at 4 pm. There will be lots of ups and downs so wear good footwear.

On! On!

Hash Scribe Wirgin Blue

[jubby]

We Should be able to make it this time (wife , 3 Kids & I) . Weather permitting ;-)

[soap]

REPORT ON CHAINGRAI HHH 21ST MARCH

Hares: Wirgin Bluce assisted by G.M. Able Semen and Wild Woman

Location: Wild Woman farm at Pa Rim Korn village off the Khun Korn road

Attendance at the 65th hash seemed uncertain when it was discovered that Nam Ron had departed for Indonesia the day before with Kenji, Put In, Take Out and other unmentionables. Wild Woman reduced her food rations accordingly. That was a mistake. Forty-four adults showed up plus ten children. Ten declared themselves virgins to the Hash Cash Do It Yourself but later many more entered the circle to share in the photo and down down. Eight were volunteers at a nearby orphanage. Wild Woman’s reputation for hospitality had spread so far that two families and a dog drove an hour and a half from Phaya Mengrai.

As usual all 21 of the men were farang. For the first time, females outnumbered the males. Of the 23 women, 14 were Thais. As hash groups go, ours would be considered dangerously sliding downwards. Only 16 consumed beer while 28 stuck to soft drinks.

The trail began gently enough along a country road. Within ten minutes one of Virgin Mark’s three young daughters began to rebel so he obligingly carried her. A few hundred meters later it turned on to a foot path where a helper handed a walking stick to all who desired one. The quality of that trail was excellent for about 200 meters but then it suddenly dwindled into an array of offshoots. That was the perfect spot for a check. A FRB stumbled upon paper in a creek but the followers failed to identify the path he had taken. They stumbled through virgin jungle to the source of the “On! On!” Thus they created an entirely new path for others to follow.

The next check was located at the base of the high hill. There were various alternatives to explore but these young FRBs, all virgins were far smarter than our usual crew. Rather than search the easy ways, they immediately took to the hill and 100 meters perpendicularly uphill they again found paper. Nothing slowed them down.

That hill was a greater challenge to the others. The most popular G.M. ever, Shocking swore that it took a few pounds off his ample frame. Mark had to off-load his daughters in order to help Sandy up the hill while husband Peter struggled nearby. A villager’s field hut proved to be Sandy ’s salvation. Many were thankful for the walking sticks which served as a third leg.

At the top of the hill the trail divided into two tracks. Most of the smarter ones took the short way. Many blindly followed the FRBs and were suitably punished. Only one check significantly delayed the group. This was beside a farmer’s house from which many field paths led. Counter-intuitively the path led back up the hill. It took the FRBs ten minutes to sort that one out.

Back at the farm house Wild Woman was well prepared to replace all calories lost on the run. There was spaghetti, salad, sweet mangos with sticky rice, and for local tastes, sour mangos with spicy sauce topped off with ice cream. No one left with a net calorific deficit. Several of the orphanage volunteers commented that it made a welcome break from their usual fare. Wild Woman shared the thanks of the group with Pat on the Back, Pailin, Oiled Well and Rolling who contributed to the feast.

Boy Magnet, our usual voluptuous model, refused to appear when the call for t-shirts went out. Well Oiled stepped into her place but somehow the magic was missing. When Shocking asked all buyers to form an orderly line, there were no takers. Later when no one was looking, six people snuck up to buy their shirts.

Hares volunteering for future runs are:

April Hand Cock and Helping Hand

May Do It Yourself and Do It Better

June Stoned and Rolling

July Still open

August Doesn’t Matterhorn and Swiss Roll

On! On!

[nonstopaction]

Sounds like my kinda operation.

I love drinking during the day!! I heard a lot of guys are out of shape the same as me too!

When is the next time out??

[soap]

CHAINGRAI HHH NEXT HASH SATURDAY 25TH APRIL START 4-00PM PROMPT

The next Hash will take place on Sat 25 Apr with a 4pm start. Hares will be me (Hand Cock) and (who else?) Helping Hand, ably assisted (how else?) by Able Semen. The route is set in the hillside around our office in Nam Lad, just across the Mae Fah Luang bridge.

1. Directions from Big C - count 20 mins

(NB There will be as many HHH signs as I can find):

a) head north on the superhighway heading towards Mae Chan. Pass the Mengrai/Haayaek junction and cross the Mae Kok river bridge.

at the first traffic lights after the bridge, turn left (sign "Huay Khom" route 1207). Reset your kilometer/odometer to 0.

c) after 1.8km, pass the turning to the left signposted to Rimkok Hotel and prepare to turn left at the next cross roads (360 m further on, 2.26km from traffic lights).

d) after turning left, follow the road for 1km (total 3.26 km from traffic lights) until you come to a slightly offset crossroads.

e) at the crossroads, go straight across (actually, slightly offset to the left). This is the road out to the Buddha caves for those of you in the know.

(200 m after the crossroads, NOTE, but DON'T STOP at a driveway off to the right (opposite the school gates on your left) with a sign on the gatepost saying "Khom Loy Development Foundation" - this is where you will be returning in your own cars for the cold beer afterwards)

f) drive along this road a total of 2km from the last offset crossroads (total 5.56km since turning off superhighway). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for somewhere to park - the start is in a track leading to the right immediately after this left hand bend.

2. Directions from the west of CR

For those coming from the south or south-west and who don't want to go all the way east to the superhighway:

a) cross the river on the Mae Fah Luang Bridge (the non-superhighway bridge just to the west of the Rimkok Hotel/Dusit Island Hotel) and reset your kilometer/odometer to 0

continue north after crossing the bridge 1km when you will come a crossroads with a sign marked "Buddha Cave" to the left - turn left here.

(200 m after the crossroads, NOTE, but DON'T STOP at a driveway off to the right (opposite the school gates on your left) with a sign on the gatepost saying "Khom Loy Development Foundation" - this is where you will be returning in your own cars for the cold beer afterwards)

c) drive along this road a total of 2km from the crossroads (total 3km since crossing the bridge). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for somewhere to park - the start is in a track leading to the right immediately after this right hand bend.

For those of you who use Google Earth (highly recommended if you don't, but NO CHEATING by printing out the run area...) the kmz reference for the start is attached.

If you have any problems, or need a lift organised, call me on 0861 940 922 .

DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: there may be some water/mud involved in this run, so please wear appropriately old footwear. You can shower at our offices later.

--

Regards Hancock

[soap]

Report of Run #66: Saturday, april 25th, 2009

Hares: Hand Cock and Helping Hand assisted by G.M. Able Semen

Location: On road beyond the Nam Laat caves

April is the hottest month of the year in Thailand so we were thankful that 35 people showed up for the run. These included seven children and three passers-through: Sarah and James I and II who presumably didn’t know any better. As usual all 15 of the men were farang. Among the women 9 were Thais and 4 farang. Depressingly only eight hashers paid for beer. Eighteen other adults declared themselves teetotalers.

There were a variety of strategies to deal with the heat. Super-glue kept cool by doffing his shoes and walking in socks. His pal, Sticky Goo followed in his buddy’s wake. Pat on the Back tried to avoid climbing over a gate but fell into an electrified fence. Mark refused to carry his three young daughters abandoning them to their own devices.

Being close to town, the area had many crisscrossing footpaths leading off in every direction. The hares exploited these to create many false trails which discouraged the FRBs while enabling the slow ones to catch up. In two instances the trail paralleled itself on two sides of a bog. The hares incorrectly supposed that the bogs would discourage short-cutting but they forgot that in the hot season everything dries up. Your faithful correspondent short-cut thusly and to his surprise, he became the FRB briefly. That honour lasted precisely two seconds. On Fire slipped by him as soon as he turned to call “On! On!” signaling the way forward to Do It Yourself, Do It Better and other FRBs lurking nearby.

The visiting Icelander, Halla demonstrated her political sympathies by wearing bright red pants. However her courage failed her when passing a herd of cattle. She suddenly became very friendly towards this honest scribe whom she kept between her and them. Once past the local bull, she took off with incredible vigor surpassing all others to be the first one in. Third Wheel and On Fire came second and third.

At the circle afterwards hash names were allocated as follows: Peter, a locomotive fireman became “Fired Up” while his better half Vee shall be known as “On Fire;” Ben and Yvonne who are both Dutch became the “Flying Dutchman” and “Dutch Treat” respectively. Marty, an electrical contractor in Iraq earned the name “Hard Wired;” and Som’O was called by some “Speeding Gonzalles” but shall always be known to this reporter as “Sticky Goo” in light of his special relationship to “Super Glue.”

Hand Cock noted that this circle was special as it was the first time in over a year that Shocking forgot to flog t-shirts. Thus prompted Shocking sprang into action but in the absence of his usual sexy model, his sales pitch met with indifference. Taking advantage of the current economic down turn Helping Hand offered to buy one provided he give her the same discount which applies to men. She eventually got one while retaining an option to re-sell at enormous profit on e-bay .

At the conclusion of the circle G.M. Able Semen announced some good and bad news. Beginning with the former he declared that he would be away for the next two months. The bad news was that Shocking, our favourite G.M. ever, would replace him during this absence.

Hares volunteering for future runs are:

May Do It Yourself and Do It Better

June Stoned and Rolling

July Still open

August Doesn’t Matterhorn and Swiss Roll

September Loose Spoke, Tight Socket and Third Wheel

October Still open

November Shocking and Pat on the Back

December Well Oiled and Oiled Well

On! On!

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

CHAINGRAI HHH MAY 16TH START 4PM PROMPT

Hi all

Here are directions for Saturdays Hash. 16.00 Saturday May 16.

From Big C going south on Superhighway turn left at first trafficlight on road 1020 towards Toeng.

After 2.5 km you are going over a bridge and 0.9 km after the bridge, make a U-turn. Go back 0.7 km and turn left (the last road before the bridge.

Go 2.5 km and you have a big pond on your left. Turn left at the end of the pond and park where you see the sala over the pond.

From Big C around 15 minutes in a reasonably modern car.

Everyone is welcome!

On On !

Do It Yourself

[soap]

Location: Nawng Luang in Tha Sai, 2 kilometers south of the windmill off highway 1020 near the east bank of the Mae Laow River

hash report 16th may 2009

Hares: Hash Cash Do It Yourself

Do It Better

This is the second time our hash has used this location. The first time was the third anniversary hash (run #37 on November 25, 2006) which was also the occasion of the Stiffy and Mam wedding. Your devoted scribe was hare at that time.

This time the hare, Do It Yourself explained that the run is a little long and begins with a kilometer walk along a boring road. So he invited women and children to ride in his pick up so he could drive them that first kilometer. Absent any definition of children, Reverse Thruster was first to jump in the car. Burdened with responsibility to report all happenings throughout the hash, your faithful correspondent also felt obliged get on the car for your sakes, dear readers.

As a consequence of this maneuver it was the women and children who came upon the first check. Unaccustomed as they were to finding the way forward, many lingered about wondering what to do next. When someone did find the way forward, no one thought to kick out the cross and spread paper for the folks behind. Fortunately this honest reporter was there to fill in the gap.

The women and children held the lead for exactly ten minutes. Then they came upon a mafai tree with golden ripe fruit. The temptation to steal overwhelmed them. Meanwhile FRBs Hallo Hallo and On Fire raced by them.

About a kilometer later Reverse Thruster began complaining about his knee. It was sad to see the poor man limping along with only his grandson, seven-year old Smoked Wiener to help. Your heart-of-gold scribe felt so sorry for the guy that he used local knowledge to find a short cut. The end point was a beautiful sala set in a lake. Once it came in sight, Smoked Wiener and his side kick Jonah began to run and thus became first and second ones in. They were immediately rewarded with liquid refreshment thanks to the assistant hare, Do It Better, who had sacrificed the joy of re-running the route in order to guard the beer,

Ten minutes later the erstwhile FRBs Hallo Hallo and On Fire appeared, now astonished to be so completely displaced. Virgin John arrived next having fast walked the entire distance. He was followed in rapid succession by Stunned, Rolling, the Flying Dutchman, Doesn’t Matterhorn, Swiss Roll and Swiss Cream, Nam Ron and three virgins Patrick, Hiro and Maki. A few minutes later Fired Up, Hard Wired arrived along with Do It Yourself who as Sweep declared that he had waited long enough and that anyone who came after him had better find their own way. Shocking came in next, panting and sweating profusely saying the only thing good about that last hill was that it wasn’t as high as the 65th run. Finally the women and children came bearing the ill-gotten fruit of their labour. Pat on the Back carried the biggest bag. She was ably assisted by Wild Woman, Boy Magnet, Superglue and the two Oileds. Most distinguished of all was the fashionably-dressed Crazy Salami who managed to do the entire walk in high heels. Likewise uniquely shod was Jan. He got to the end in sandals but he kept wife Terry and daughter Jane nearby in case he needed a lift.

In the absence of Grand Master Able Semen, our ever favourite G.M. Shocking called the group to form a circle. After honouring the hares and the virgins he quickly turned to new names. Hard-wire’s spouse, Phat was named “Short Circuit.” Recalling his efforts to park his car vertically in a ditch, Rafaele got the name “Italian Job” while his wife Lek became “Crazy Salami.” Swiss Roll’s daughter, Benz shall be known as “Swiss Cream.”

Thirty-six people came to the hash including five children. All but one of the males were farang, the exception being Hiro, a Japanese. Among the women there were eight Thai, two farang and Maki likewise Japanese. Teetotalers again out numbered the true hashers 16 to 13.

Before the circle broke up the hare Do It Yourself produced a memory chip which he said he found in the sala. He asked if anyone was missing it. When no one responded he observed that perhaps someone’s memory was so far gone that s/he couldn’t remember that he once had a memory.

Hares volunteering for future runs are:

June Stoned and Rolling

July Hallo Hallo and Goodbye Goodbye

August Doesn’t Matterhorn and Swiss Roll

September Loose Spoke, Tight Socket and Third Wheel

October Nam Ron

November Shocking and Pat on the Back

December Well Oiled and Oiled Well

on on

wirgin bluce

[soap]

CHAINGRAI HHH

hi all

Here are the directions to the next Hash Sat. June 20.

Head South from Big C and turn left down 1020 Highway towards Thoeng.

After 10 K you will pass a service station on the right - blue green leaf.

At 11 K ( just before the 11 K mileage post) there is a small intersection, Soi 7, with a bus stop shelter on the right - HHH sign. Turn right here and after 150 M - HHH sign - turn left. Proceed for another 650 M until you come to a tee intersection and then turn right - HHH sign. Another 800 M and you are there.

You will be going through some mushroom country if you would like to take a bag with you.

Starting time 4.00 PM all welcome.

allow 30 minutes from big c

[soap]

hash report for the 68th chaingrai HHH JUNE 20TH

The 68th Hash was attended by 36 people - 11 women, 17 men and 8 children as well as one dog. The course was set by Stoned and his better half Rolling. It was in the National Park and surrounding area 12 km E of Chiang Rai on the Thoeng Rd.

Although it had been overcast and threatened to rain all morning, the afternoon turned out to be relatively clear and the hashers were thankful that most of the route was in the shade as the sun came out in full force. The 6.5 km course was relatively flat and mainly on single lane red clay gravel roads that wound around several small lakes and offered scenic views of the mountains. The course had 7 checks and one false trail. Towards the end the hares took the group over a rickety bamboo bridge and through a long convoluted stretch of rice paddy which ended at a loud boisterous party. Unfortunately, it wasn't the hash party but the local farmers celebrating after a hard day of work planting rice. They offered whiskey, mangoes and other local fruits to the walkers who had no chance of catching the FRBs and no way of refusing the hospitality. Several of the hashers, including Shocking, showed up at the circle half inebriated from imbibing the local hootch.

The FRBs were Wee, Allo Allo, Flying Dutchman and Do It Yourself. Doesn't Matterhorn was running in front but because of parental obligation to Swiss Roll and daughter Swiss Cream he relinquished the lead. The FRBs were followed by Nut, Do It Better, Jan and Saa. The RWBs (rear walking bastards) consisting of Nam Ron, sons and Bush-whacker were overtaken by a late arriving but fast moving group that consisted of Mark, his wife, their girls, Jolly Molly, Smoked Weiner and his big brother. Virgins managed to stay in the middle of the pack. They included Brits Tony and Neil as well as a Japanese woman and her American/Japanese son, all of whom will hopefully become regulars.

In the absence of Able Semen, our GM, Shocking stood in. The majority of the circle was spent discussing hash names because a record ELEVEN names needed to be given out. Mike Olsen and has family were given cat related names because of his past ownership of the "Cat House" bar. The group chose Tom Cat just slightly over Fat Cat for Mike. The name Pussy Cat was suggested for his lovely 13 year old daughter by a very callous Hand Cock but sensibility prevailed and that was vociferously vetoed by the group for a much more benign Kitty Cat. Her younger sister's genteel name of Cat in the Hat was proposed by 6 year old Smoked Weiner and was easily approved. Much time was spent discussing the names of Terry and Jan Whitefall but ultimately the group voted for Odd Job for Terry and OoohMatron for Jan. Names for Mark, his wife and children were also debated for a long time and finally the following were approved: Sperm Bank for Mark, Missed Period for his wife and Powder Puff Girls for the 4 young ladies.

Scribed by: Namron. Incorrect information is guaranteed as wrong and the rest is debatable.

Financial Report: 13 people paid for beer, 13 for soda and one T-shirt was sold (leaving us a mere 487 in inventory.)

Invitation to Join Chiang Mai Hash on July 11th. In honor of our own SquareRooter being chosen GM of the Chiang Mai hash, a group of us will be going to Chiang Mai to participate. Currently we have two cars going, one on the 10th and one on the 11th. If you are interested to join, please contact NamRom via this email or 089-661-5840.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[soap]

Hi all

Here are directions for the next Saturday Chiang rai H H H . Run start 16.00 or 4.00 PM prompt

Saturday July 18.

From the city beginning at the Chiangmai Gate head south along the old Chiang Mai road. Carry on through the two sets of traffic lights (at Den Haa) and keep going south. Just before the white Kilometer stone 8 turn right at the flashing orange light (HHH sign) and follow this paved road for precisely 5,354 meters. Then you will see another HHH sign on the right hand side of the road and some parked cars. That means that you have arrived!

Do not be afraid this is not a "Phuket Tin-man." It is just a normal, "Start Slowly and Taper Off" Chiangrai run. It is almost flat.

Yes you can run from 7 to 77 years!!!!

If the weather is good do not forget your cameras for the amazing view.

ALLO-ALLO

On-On

[soap]

Report of HHH Run# 69: Saturday July 19, 2009

Location: Five kilometers due west from the eight kilometer stone on the Old Chiangmai Road, at the foot of the stone quarry Hua Fai in the Boonrawd rubber tree orchard.

Hares: Allo Allo

Goodbye Goodbye

Some say that half the fun of a trip is going there. In this case far more than half the fun was bound up in the travel as a deluge of rain swamped all but the hale and hearty. Your faithful correspondent for example was forced to park his steed along the side of the road until rescued by John and Nitta. Maki and Takase actually turned back but were cut off at the pass by Nam Ron. Doesn’t Matterhorn braved the elements in a hired Rot Subaru with Swiss Roll, Swiss Cream and the Swiss Family Romano, four virgins who didn’t know any better. Fat Cat had threatened to come but once his feline nose scented water, he never left the bar. The Hash Beer, Hand Cock brought Helping Hand and the beer. However he then declared that liquid belongs in the gullet not on the skin and refused to leave the comfort of his dry vehicle cabin.

Most people brought umbrellas. This honest scribe was no exception. However he made the mistake of leaving his on the ground while he returned to John’s vehicle to don hiking boots. When he finally re-emerged there was no umbrella to be found. Apparently while Swiss Roll wasn’t watching, Doesn’t Matterhorn stole the umbrella and gallantly presented it to Dutch Treat.

Thirty-one intrepid hashers gathered under umbrellas. Nineteen were male, but no Thais. Of the twelve females, seven were Thais. Included in these data are three Japanese, who being neither farang nor Thai require some special category. Eventually, a semi-starved hunch-back hidden beneath an orange pancho rain cover, over-sized glasses and profuse mustache and equipped with a bamboo walking stick, came forward to announce that he was not Mahatma Gandhi but our very own Allo Allo who is the hare for this occasion.

Fired Up, Nam Ron and his constant companion Bushwacker immediately took off. Close behind was John who proved once again that a fast walker can keep up with these ambitous FRBs who run only to tarry at the checks. As the rains had dissolved or otherwise washed away much paper the task of finding and staying on track proved doubly complicated. This was not helped by the Flying Dutchman who came equipped with more paper but rather than reinforce the existing trail he chose to demonstrate short-cuts. Once started he neglected to lay paper to the point where the new met the old trial so that anyone who had the misfortune to follow his innovations, soon found themselves off paper and more confused than ever.

In the end the Swiss-Japanese delegation led by Doesn’t Matterhorn gave up on paper and followed a road back to the foot of the stone quarry where he knew the cars were parked. They were not last in however. That honour was claimed by Well Oiled who wore sandals which kept getting stuck in the mud. He claimed to be recovering from Swine Fever and did not intend to run. However caught up in the enthusiasm of the moment, he went hashing despite the inappropriate footwear. He survived thanks to the repeated efforts of Oiled Well and Sticky Glue to extricate him from the mud. Meanwhile Pat on the Back walked barefoot having sacrificed her shoelaces in a vain attempt to stop Shockiing’s soles from ripping off his boots. Shocking however was not discouraged. He looks forward to making a fortune selling his “slightly used” size 11 boots on E-Bay.

However painful it may have been, Allo Allo, our usual FRB stayed behind to shepherd the stragglers in as weep. Upon arrival he then immediately set about slicing home-made paté to spread on French bread. Not accustomed to gourmet appetizers a stunned silence followed which was soon broken by Do It Yourself, Do It Better, Stoned and Rolling who are sophisticated enough to recognize a good thing when they see it.

As the sky darkened and the rain threatened to return, the G.M. Able Semen called for brief circle. Maki and Takase earned their hash names Tight Lips and Lip Service for bringing their virgin friend suited out in dress shirt and leather shoes. Later Shocking complained that he could easily have sold this ill clad “friend” a S2ATO t-shirt even with the enticement of Boy Magnet’s modelling. Likewise we avoided discussing the subject of water, this time in a bottle which was the focus of heated e-mail correspondence.

Unlikely as it may seem, some people enjoy the hash so much that there was some discussion about organizing a family outing on the first Saturday of the month. The format is still to be decided. Anyone interested should contact Nam Ron (telephone 089 661 5840)

Hares for Upcoming Hashes include:

August Doesn’t Matterhorn and Swiss Roll

September Loose Spoke, Tight Socket and Third Wheel

October Nam Ron

November Shocking and Pat on the Back

December Well Oiled and Oiled Well

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

Next Hash Saturday 15th August Start 4 pm

DIRECTIONS FOR THE AUGUST 15TH HASH ---START 4-00PM PROMPT

ALL WELCOME COME AND ENJOY

Hi all HHH

We will start our August City-HHH at the large pond (called nongpueng) northwest of "Doi Khau Khwai" on Saturday August 15 beginning at 4 pm.

"Doi Khau Khwai" (ดอยเขาควาย) as known as The City View Point, is located about 3 kilometers west of the old Airport Runway.

Driving direction : Start at the old Airport Runway heading west. after passing the Driving Range, The Buffalo Hill Guesthouse and Sinthanii 8 you

will arrive at the the entrance up to the View Point. just before the entrance turn sharply right (HHH signs) and follow the few HHH sings for about

1.5 kilometers. the start will be at the "salaa" (ศาลาชุมชนหนองปึ๋ง) next to the pond on your left hand side (HHH signs).

For those who are Chiang Rai Virgins and don't know the old Airport or "Doi Khau Khwai", please have a look at Google Earth!

On On !

Swiss cream, Swiss Roll and Doesn't Matterhorn

[soap]

REPORT OF HHH RUN #70 SATURDAY AUGUST 15TH 2009

Location-----Nong Pueng Pond Northwest of Doi Khau Khwai

Hares----- Doesen"t Matterhorn and Swiss Roll

In the absence of are renowned hash scribe Virgin Bluce who his believed to be on a touring holiday

of all the Whiskey and Beer Distillerys of Canada

I offer my humble contribution

There was a very good turn out for our Virgin hares trail that consisted of 17male,12 female 3 Children.

The FRBS of Allo Allo,On Fire and Virgin Jessica who had only been jogging around the pond until

Reverse Thruster press ganged her into the hash set the pace.

Within the first kilometre the pattern of the scenic trail unfolded,the FRBS panned out to trace some

very crafty checks giving the rest of the field time to bunch up,this suited the mid division that consisted of

Oops Matron,Odd Job,Super Glue, Do It Better and Pat On The Back, the only major obstacle was a

rather unsafe looking bamboo bridge that had over half the field queueing up to cross,Bushwacker showed the way by bravely skipping over the bridge together with Speedy Gonzarlis,Rolling,Sealed Lips and Lip Service while Manipulators 5 month old Rottweiler pup had to be coaxed over .

As the FRBS came home in under 40 minutes with the rest of the field not far behind only to be greeted by our devoted GM Able Semen who had stayed behind to guard the beer stocks just in case anyone from Liverpool was holidaying in the area.

The circle was called with the thanking of Doesen"t Matterhorn,Swiss Roll and of course Swiss Cream for

their efforts and hospitality of Mango and Sticky Rice also Somtam Cowneo.

we had 6 virgins Hannie,Mike,Ryan,Jessica and Darryl & wife,Darryl must rate as a future ardent hasher

has he brought his own beer just in case the hash stocks ran out.

Next up the 3 hashers who were due names, Tony whose hash name from Manilla is Tony The Lonely

but it was sugested that as this was the first hash he had not got lost it should read Tony was The Lonely,

but after a tight vote his Manilla name stood.Next up was John who after giving a detailed account of his navagation skills was donned the name "Titanic"his wife is due a name on her next visit,Stuart received the name The Better Man.

4 hashers,Flying Dutchman,Dutch Treat,Fired Up and On Fire had completed our very stringent 6 hash free shirt rule and after vowing not to resell them on E bay for a vast profit received their shirts,

Before the circle was concluded,Nam Ron tried to bring to task Stoned, Do It Yourself and Yours Truly for their objections to his idea of a 5pm start,he was soon shot down when it was revealed he had been offered

a "Job Lot" of very cheap Miners Headlamps that prompted him into cashing in by palming them off on the hash.

on on

Shocking

[soap]

DIRECTIONS FOR THE HASH 19TH SEPTEMBER 2009

START 4-00PM PROMPT

HARE LOOSE SPOKE

Here are the directions to the hash :

>From central Chiang Rai, go north on the superhighway. Measuring from the traffic lights just north of the bridge over the Mae Kok, continue north about 2.9 km.

>Turn left on Soi 6. The sign uses only the Thai numeral ๖, but there will be a hash sign there. (About 250 meters before the turn you will see Bahn Kua Krae School (โรงเรียนบ้านขัวแคร่) and 150 meters before the turn you will pass a sign that says Hunter Engineering.)

>Follow Soi 6 about 2.2 km until you reach Wat Prataht Jom Sak (วัดพระธาตุจอมสัก) at the “T” in the road. The road meanders a bit, but it is easy to follow – just don’t turn off of it on one of the many sois. There will be a hash sign at the wat too.

>Follow the road around the north (right) side of the wat another 0.7 km to the hash starting point.

Please let me know if anything isn't clear.

Steve

[soap]

Report of HHH Run# 71: Saturday September 19, 2009

Location: Behind Wat Phrathat Jomsak on Soi 6 off the Asian Highway just south of the international airport.

Hares: Loose Spoke assisted by Tight Sprocket and Third Wheel

By 4 p.m. 40 hashers were stamping with excitement eager to get started before threatening rain or dusk could overtake them. As usual all 12 males but only one of the eight females were farang. Still we waited for Odd Job and Oooolmatron who were to bring a guest. The Oileds were also absent at starting time. Upon arrival Odd Job then confessed that the guest had become so inebriated the night before that she fell off her motorcycle and could not join them. All thought of the delinquent Oileds now forgotten, the herd took off in pursuit of paper, accompanied by cattle which must have recognized the scene from Pamplona .

Allo Allo soon left all but Able Semen and Peter Doesn’tmatterhorn in the dust. Third Wheel and his pal Sticky Goo followed at a distance. Tony the Lonely demonstrated the inappropriateness of his name by arriving with Stoned and Mike.

Fat Cat became so absorbed in trying to recover his viral name Tom Cat that he completely forgot his daughter. The nubile Kitty Kat and her cousin Kat in the Hat seized the moment to escape his chaperonage.

Meanwhile seeking safety in numbers, Wild Woman, Do It Better, Swiss Roll, Swiss Cream, Pat on the Back, Superglue, Tight Sprocket and Rolling moved at a gentle pace which allowed them to appreciate the bucolic views. There was not much elevation; the trail stuck to gravel roads; it was perfect for a possibly rainy day.

Likewise Nam Ron made a lazy day of it. He pretended that sons Kenji and Kodi were responsible for the slow pace.

Only Boy Magnet distinguished herself looking ravishing in her HHH t-shirt.

Unfortunately there was no opportunity to sell t-shirts to ardent men she inspired. No sooner had the last group arrived but the rain began to fall in earnest. The Hash Cash, Do It Yourself declared that this was the best hash so far as there was no time to consume beer in a circle. Shocking then made resolution to be among the front runners in future so he could be sure to get his money’s worth of beer.

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

Hares for Upcoming Hashes include:

October Nam Ron

November Able Seaman and Pat on the Back

December Well Oiled and Oiled Well

[soap]

CHAINGRAI HHH NEXT HASH 17TH OCTOBER START 4-OOPM PROMPT

Tony the Lonely, Stiffy and Nam Rom have teamed up to create one of the most beautiful and challenging hashes of the year. It is at the base of Doi Chang Mountain and offers fantastic views and lots of forest trails.

Directions -- go south on the old Chiang Mai Road 21.5 km from the Den Ha intersection OR (8 km past the turn to Khun Korn Waterfalls) and turn right at the signs towards the Natural Tea Gardens (HHH Sign.) Drive for 3.5 km to the reservoir and park at the dam.

We GUARANTEE your feet will get wet so bring a change of shoes. The hash will start at 4 pm.

See you Sat.

Namron