Price of life/wife: An honest appraisal

[laolover88]

I know we have been here before. But New Year prompts these reflections!

Been "rebudgeting"

PER MONTH

Thailand Europe

Rent 6000 4000(Tax)(France no rent no mortgage)

Electric/Water 2500 3500

Motorbike 2000

nothing to do with me but I have to pay for it! 0

Car 10000 750. Road Tax

G/F 20000 minimum cheapskate me 0

School 6000 (3 kids 2 terms) 0

Clothes 1000 (minimum) 0 plenty of them!!

Kids pocket money 9000 (3 of them)(100B a day) 3000(1 of them)

Food+Drink 25000 20000

Petrol/Fuel 8000 10000

79500 =1590 41250=850

Have cars (old CRV and Vios) but if I need another!! France have cars. No need new ones

If car 89500 =1790

Maybe give gf less? hardly! STILL 38/48000 B CHEAPER

Must be mad

None of the kids ours together 2 hers 1 mine

Still think a week's grocery bills cheaper in France unless you want to eat SomTam all day everyday..

which they do!

Move back to France live alone with child...Maybe time has come!!

[GuestHouse]

It seems to me you could halve your budget if you didn't take over other people's responsibilities.

[aveabeeror2]

Correctamundo.we have been there before. 7000 thousand times.

[tingtong]

if you dont want to phase out GF from the equation in France completely, i almost sure it will incur costs there too, dating isnt a zero sum game really, doesnt matter what one like to believe.

all you need is a new GF, most probably, with less financial needs attached?

[FiftyTwo]

why are you paying gf 20k. with her two kids, sounds like she should be paying you.

let her kids go to state school, its free.

let her provide her kids with pocket money.

not your responsibility.

just crazy.

Edited January 1, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[cyrilmadrid]

Rent does not seem quite right : if you live rent free mortgage free in France, it means you own a home outright (unless you plan to go back with your parents ?). If this is the case, then since you are in Thailand, you can rent the French house to someone else, which will be at least 1000 Euros whatever house it is in France, so 45.000 baths per month !

[Patanawet]

it is in France, so 45.000 baths per month !

Damned clean those French chaps!

[brit1984]

living in france is more expensive than living in thailand (unless you want foie gras for every meal)

but living with a financially dependent girlfriend (and her kids) is obviously more expensive than being celibate

decisions based on ending/continuing romantic relationships are normally not based on financial calculations

it might be better to think this through more clearly after last night's red wine has worked it's way through your system

bonne chance!

[mamypoko]

Rough days come and go.

Keep cool my French brother!

[jonesthebaker]

seems like you take care of all living expenses including her two kids - so why do you pay her 20k min per month. seems simple really. if she wanted to be with you and you had a normal relationship then you wouldnt be paying her to stay with you. that is technically called something else. i mean when you hire a girl it is ... well you know.

there are many girlfriends for hire in Thailand without having to take care of someone elses kids. an old friend of mine had a terrible embarrising habit of asking bar girls where ever he went, how much they would want to live with him. it ranged from 10 to 20k per month (but no kids). so you are paying over top rate plus plus

Edited January 1, 2014 by jonesthebaker

[Chicken George]

My pennies worth. I have 2 kids with my wife.. I could not afford to have any reasonable lifestyle back in the UK. I di not pay my wufe a penny. Other than we have built a house. To put it into perspective for me if I did not have my wife I would be a bar hound and certainly spend a lot more than I do now.If you pay your wife 20 k a month then thsts whete the saving can come from. Be honest with yourself.

[jonesthebaker]

living in france is more expensive than living in thailand (unless you want foie gras for every meal)

but living with a financially dependent girlfriend (and her kids) is obviously more expensive than being celibate

decisions based on ending/continuing romantic relationships are normally not based on financial calculations

it might be better to think this through more clearly after last night's red wine has worked it's way through your system

bonne chance!

i would guess that financial situations are quite prevelant in deciding to end relatioshsips - as such. in fact im sure ithey are. also, being without a paid girlfirend doesnt mean being celibate. quite the opposite.

just playing devils advocate here

Edited January 1, 2014 by jonesthebaker

[geriatrickid]

zut alors. Have a talk with the woman and explain the facts of life.

I did and I have saved myself at least 400,000 baht over the past 15 months. I hadn't kept track of the weekly hidden costs, but they added up.

My ex has some Swiss guy now who I don't think is providing quite the same homelife, although he's quite handsome and still in that "everything Thai is wonderful" stage. I don't think he knows her actual age and he's in for quite a surprise when he does find out. . I'm personally wagering he buys her a house within the year. I didn't in 4 years, because I wasn't a permanent resident and didn't want to piss away 20million baht on a poorly built dwelling in Phuket. I told her that if she wanted lots of money to get a better job or move somewhere else. It's nice not to be a subsidy machine.

[chiang mai]

Correctamundo.we have been there before. 7000 thousand times.

Except the "we" didn't include you on any one of those occasions!

[laolover88]

Rent does not seem quite right : if you live rent free mortgage free in France, it means you own a home outright (unless you plan to go back with your parents ?). If this is the case, then since you are in Thailand, you can rent the French house to someone else, which will be at least 1000 Euros whatever house it is in France, so 45.000 baths per month !

Don't want to rent French house!! It is my bolt hole!!!

[RogueLeader]

"Paid wife"

I'm so glad I no longer live in 'paradise'. Everything reduced toa commercial transaction, paying the locals to tolerate your presence.

[laolover88]

It seems to me you could halve your budget if you didn't take over other people's responsibilities.

It is true....I have been here before.....Its a long way from Provence to find a "companion"!! Not overly available at

my age in Aix!!!

[brit1984]

living in france is more expensive than living in thailand (unless you want foie gras for every meal)

but living with a financially dependent girlfriend (and her kids) is obviously more expensive than being celibate

decisions based on ending/continuing romantic relationships are normally not based on financial calculations

it might be better to think this through more clearly after last night's red wine has worked it's way through your system

bonne chance!

i would guess that financial situations are quite prevelant in deciding to end relatioshsips - as such. in fact im sure ithey are. also, being without a paid girlfirend doesnt mean being celibate. quite the opposite.

just playing devils advocate here

maybe another way to think about is how much would it cost him to support a stay-at-home girlfriend (with 2 school age kids) in france...?

i agree some people allocate their love based solely on financial factors but i think there is normally more to a relationship than money

[chiang mai]

"Paid wife"

I'm so glad I no longer live in 'paradise'. Everything reduced toa commercial transaction, paying the locals to tolerate your presence.

Not so for everyone, but it does take time and two like minded people (eventually), the rewards thereafter are far far better than many of the alternatives.

[wolfmanjack]

why are you paying gf 20k. with her two kids, sounds like she should be paying you.

let her kids go to state school, its free.

let her provide her kids with pocket money.

not your responsibility.

just crazy.

My kids are going to a state school. It was free for a few of years before but this year it cost me approximately 20,000 baht for 2 kids total for 1 year

100 baht a day per kid and 20,000 baht for the wife for pocket money seems like a lot

[waxon]

if you dont want to phase out GF from the equation in France completely, i almost sure it will incur costs there too, dating isnt a zero sum game really, doesnt matter what one like to believe.

all you need is a new GF, most probably, with less financial needs attached?

I agree. It is not an "honest appraisal" if you consider a GF in Thailand and being celibate in France. If you really do. to have any housing expense in France and can grow your own food, France will be less expensive.... Unless you have a French GF.

[atyclb]

seems like you take care of all living expenses including her two kids - so why do you pay her 20k min per month. seems simple really. if she wanted to be with you and you had a normal relationship then you wouldnt be paying her to stay with you. that is technically called something else. i mean when you hire a girl it is ... well you know.

there are many girlfriends for hire in Thailand without having to take care of someone elses kids. an old friend of mine had a terrible embarrising habit of asking bar girls where ever he went, how much they would want to live with him. it ranged from 10 to 20k per month (but no kids). so you are paying over top rate plus plus

Clearly a notable distinction. "girlfriend for hire" with or without kids to also pay for.

Truly mind boggling the nonchalant attitudes about "compensated girlfriends"

Any thoughts about the gf's that like you because they simply like you, enjoy time together, without being on your payroll ?????

Given all the women unable to find suitable male companionship due to the significant gay / ladyboy / low end male % how difficult can it be to find a non remunerative one?

[1ma]

Just one thing before you leave OP... sneak into the GF's room and retrieve your testicles from the jar next to her bed.

[ianf]

Rent does not seem quite right : if you live rent free mortgage free in France, it means you own a home outright (unless you plan to go back with your parents ?). If this is the case, then since you are in Thailand, you can rent the French house to someone else, which will be at least 1000 Euros whatever house it is in France, so 45.000 baths per month !

Very difficult to rent out in France at a decent price. I have had my house on the market (sale) or rent for three years and not one bite due to the surfeit of properties in France. Rent out in Bordeaux or Paris is ok. Elsewhere is difficult. But I have had the same dilemma as the o/p. I own a house here though and I have a truly beautiful house in France where the price for sale has now dropped by 200k Euro (would you believe?). In France I would live on my own which is not always ok. Here I have a lovely Thai wife and the cost of living is very much cheaper. Off course I don't give my wife 20k a month. If we're in this together then she has to accept (and she does) that my support of her mother (5k a month) is very generous and she is quite happy with that. Fortunately I have a partner who is not interested in my cash and nor are her parents. When I was panicking about money a while back, they even gave (yes gave, not lent) me cash they keep under their mattress!

I do get nostalgic about living back in Europe but I think at the end of the day, life here is better, cheaper and more satisfying. Here I have a family.

The OP's attitude towards his life is a bit off the wall, but fairly typical for most farangs with Thai wives/partners. If they live together and share everything then she does not need 20k a month. She should accept that the O/p looks after the kids and pays the bills and food. Most Thais live on a lot less than 20k so I would suggest that she is like my ex-wife who's greed knew no boundaries. For her more was not enough. Get her sorted and it'll help you a great deal. And if she kicks and screams about having her money cut, then understand the stark reality: she loves your cash, not you. Same as my ex.

[kannot]

My pennies worth. I have 2 kids with my wife.. I could not afford to have any reasonable lifestyle back in the UK. I di not pay my wufe a penny. Other than we have built a house. To put it into perspective for me if I did not have my wife I would be a bar hound and certainly spend a lot more than I do now.If you pay your wife 20 k a month then thsts whete the saving can come from. Be honest with yourself.

Pah!! send the lazy cow out to get a job, halve the pocket money and make them earn it sweeping floors washing cars, tidying up etc etc........honestly, he must be nuts!!

Edited January 1, 2014 by kannot

[saroq]

The "Are they worth it?" conundrum. On paper no way but when you start factoring in the intangibles the answer is "I guess they are."

[philliphn]

why are you paying gf 20k. with her two kids, sounds like she should be paying you.

let her kids go to state school, its free.

let her provide her kids with pocket money.

not your responsibility.

just crazy.

My kids are going to a state school. It was free for a few of years before but this year it cost me approximately 20,000 baht for 2 kids total for 1 year

100 baht a day per kid and 20,000 baht for the wife for pocket money seems like a lot

I have to say that. The children are receiving a bigger allowance. Then I did. Growing up in England, and the USA. My parents were not poor either!

[nongsangcity]

20000 bht a month for your girlfriend ?......do me and all of thai visa members a favour.....get a life....I will be your girlfriend for 19000 a month.....come on man get a back bone.....oh I forgot you are French.....one born every minute

[tetleythedog]

It seems to me you could halve your budget if you didn't take over other people's responsibilities.

To be honest, i never understand why guys come here and take on women with children. 20,000 Baht a month!!! Why is that? Is/was she a teacher/ Gov.worker, PhD that would earn that a month? 9,000 a month for the kids + food, clothes, etc etc. As we say.......there's one on every plane ! Seems to be Air France ! Why do these Thai women look for a Farang ? Because most don't want to work, don't want to contribute to a relationship. Easier to be horizontal for 20 minutes and have someone else pay the bills. 8000 fuel? that's 200kms a day Monday to Friday! So we can say that in total she's costing you 50,000 a month....that's for 1 woman ! You could have a different one every night or so cheaper ! Probably better looking, younger, and no kids ! Women in Thailand are like buses, there's always another right behind!

[smotherb]

This is only common sense, but try for a woman who is not for hire and does not have so much baggage.. There are many nice Thai women who work decent jobs and have no kids. Of course, you may need to be something other than a oaf to attract one.