My Thai gf gets mad easily.

[benj005]

I think the reason she gets mad or frustrated easily eith me is cultural differences, and she can't speak English too well.

Do Thais not like to talk things out?

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

[star kicker]

makes a change from the foreigner getting mad easily

talking things out? in my experience some do and some dont but its kind of difficult to talk things out if her english is not good - unless you speak reasonable thai.

communication is important in any relationship and there are plenty of thai girls with reasonable english...

[David48]

I met my Thai girlfriend online while I was teaching in South Korea. This was over a year ago. Throughout the year we've met a few times while I was vacationing in Thailand. If I added up the days we have been together it would total to 1 month. 1 week vacation in summer, 1 week vacation in winter, and 2 weeks after my contract ended in South Korea.

A little about her: She is 35 years old. No children and has never been married. She's attractive as well. She doesn't have a college education, and is a hard worker. She works as a secretary for a sporting company. Sadly, she doesn't make much money.

The thing is I don't know if I gave her the correct answer. She wants me to pay for her apartment which will total $250 usd a month. I'm going back to South Korea to teach in August. She wants me to get a place for both of us mid-June. I would stay with her and then when I left for Korea I will still pay the rent while I was working in Korea. She would live in the apartment.

She keeps telling me that she is in debt. She needs help and I'm her boyfriend so I should help her. I don't like the arrangement and I flat out told her no. She got mad and told me that I'm a selfish person. We communicate thru Line and I haven't heard from her since last night. I guess she's still mad at me.

I know that I'm going to get a lot of mixed responses. I'm trying to get an idea on what other falang/Thai relationships are about. Is it all about the money? How is your relationship with your Thai girlfriend? I'm the boyfriend so should I help my girl out, and should I stop being a tight wad. What about the negatives Is this girl trying to use me? Should I be wary?

So many mixed emotions.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/728076-my-thai-girl-keeps-asking-for-money/

benj005 ... you are so right ... it's all her fault.

.

[sdanielmcev]

In Thailand the Thai people speak Thai. Maybe some effort on your part?

How does someone not make another mad? Stop doing stuff that makes people mad.

[ClutchClark]

The good news is if she doesn't speak good english then she was probably not a bargirl.

As for her getting angry...does it happen from jealousy? Thai women are notoriously jealous.

Best bet is to be firm with her and tell her if she is going to be getting mad all the time then you are going to lose interest in her.

Then reassure her you don't want that to happen because she is special to you.

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

Not to worry...you'll sort it out.

[JAFO]

The good news is if she doesn't speak good english then she was probably not a bargirl.

As for her getting angry...does it happen from jealousy? Thai women are notoriously jealous.

Best bet is to be firm with her and tell her if she is going to be getting mad all the time then you are going to lose interest in her.

Then reassure her you don't want that to happen because she is special to you.

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

Not to worry...you'll sort it out.

^ Pretty fair assessments above IMHO excluding line 1 and 3

Line 1 is utter nonsense. My missus speaks great English but she went to college. Not all English speaking Thai woman were or are Bargirls. In fact most I have met and worked with were not and that would be insulting to even think they were. In general usually its the uneducated Thai woman that are the bar girls and learn enough pidgeon English to get by.

Line 3 comes across as very condescending like you are to speak AT her like a child( Given that we assume the OP is dating an adult or so we hope).

I think most live with a higher level of insecurity thus becoming quickly defensive. Poverty can do that to people especially when they have a bigger view of whats out in the world now because of the internet and of course the Thai soaps are portraying things a big skewed. Clearly cultural differences play a huge role in it too. It took my wife and I a few years to get aligned and we still have some odd moments, especially about money. They sure are a frugal bunch.

[NeverSure]

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

If you think that "up to you" actually means up to you, you should stop giving advice on a forum. Have you ever been to Thailand much less had a Thai girlfriend? I didn't think so.

"Up to you" means "read my mind."

[benalibina]

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

If you think that "up to you" actually means up to you, you should stop giving advice on a forum. Have you ever been to Thailand much less had a Thai girlfriend? I didn't think so.

"Up to you" means "read my mind."

Every coin has 2 sides.

Both of u covered it.

[AYJAYDEE]

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

If you think that "up to you" actually means up to you, you should stop giving advice on a forum. Have you ever been to Thailand much less had a Thai girlfriend? I didn't think so.

"Up to you" means "read my mind."

Every coin has 2 sides.

Both of u covered it.

poorly

[benalibina]

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

If you think that "up to you" actually means up to you, you should stop giving advice on a forum. Have you ever been to Thailand much less had a Thai girlfriend? I didn't think so.

"Up to you" means "read my mind."

Every coin has 2 sides.

Both of u covered it.

poorly

Instead of making silly one word comments, motivate your comment is the least you can do. But maybe thats to much to ask for, for you.

[slipperylobster]

I met my Thai girlfriend online while I was teaching in South Korea. This was over a year ago. Throughout the year we've met a few times while I was vacationing in Thailand. If I added up the days we have been together it would total to 1 month. 1 week vacation in summer, 1 week vacation in winter, and 2 weeks after my contract ended in South Korea.

A little about her: She is 35 years old. No children and has never been married. She's attractive as well. She doesn't have a college education, and is a hard worker. She works as a secretary for a sporting company. Sadly, she doesn't make much money.

The thing is I don't know if I gave her the correct answer. She wants me to pay for her apartment which will total $250 usd a month. I'm going back to South Korea to teach in August. She wants me to get a place for both of us mid-June. I would stay with her and then when I left for Korea I will still pay the rent while I was working in Korea. She would live in the apartment.

She keeps telling me that she is in debt. She needs help and I'm her boyfriend so I should help her. I don't like the arrangement and I flat out told her no. She got mad and told me that I'm a selfish person. We communicate thru Line and I haven't heard from her since last night. I guess she's still mad at me.

I know that I'm going to get a lot of mixed responses. I'm trying to get an idea on what other falang/Thai relationships are about. Is it all about the money? How is your relationship with your Thai girlfriend? I'm the boyfriend so should I help my girl out, and should I stop being a tight wad. What about the negatives Is this girl trying to use me? Should I be wary?

So many mixed emotions.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/728076-my-thai-girl-keeps-asking-for-money/

benj005 ... you are so right ... it's all her fault.

.

She is hustling for money. Get one that works and, as a previous person stated, can speak good english. You might still want to supplement her income if you are getting fringe benefits. Many girls make less than ten or fifteen thousand, but if you think about it, would you live well on 400 or 500 baht a day (probably it is less than that). I would not want to try, unless my rent was free, and I did not have to pay for transportation. She probably was under the impression that her life would improve if she switched to a farang bf.

[AYJAYDEE]

What we have here is a failure to communicate.....

she wants you to pay for an apartment for her to live in. you dont want to pay for an apartment for her to live in. Its simple, you can't continue being a couple. END IT.

[ClutchClark]

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

If you think that "up to you" actually means up to you, you should stop giving advice on a forum. Have you ever been to Thailand much less had a Thai girlfriend? I didn't think so.

"Up to you" means "read my mind."

Poor neversure about anything.

The man who came on vacation to Thailand a couple of times but lives full-time in the US...that was your claim a month back anyway.

Is this some sort of mancrush you have? It seems the only way you ever feel comfortable leaving posts is if you can respond to me.

I can't keep holding your hand, little buckaroo, its about time you strike on your own.

[ClutchClark]

The good news is if she doesn't speak good english then she was probably not a bargirl.

As for her getting angry...does it happen from jealousy? Thai women are notoriously jealous.

Best bet is to be firm with her and tell her if she is going to be getting mad all the time then you are going to lose interest in her.

Then reassure her you don't want that to happen because she is special to you.

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

Not to worry...you'll sort it out.

^ Pretty fair assessments above IMHO excluding line 1 and 3

Line 1 is utter nonsense. My missus speaks great English but she went to college. Not all English speaking Thai woman were or are Bargirls. In fact most I have met and worked with were not and that would be insulting to even think they were. In general usually its the uneducated Thai woman that are the bar girls and learn enough pidgeon English to get by.

Line 3 comes across as very condescending like you are to speak AT her like a child( Given that we assume the OP is dating an adult or so we hope).

I think most live with a higher level of insecurity thus becoming quickly defensive. Poverty can do that to people especially when they have a bigger view of whats out in the world now because of the internet and of course the Thai soaps are portraying things a big skewed. Clearly cultural differences play a huge role in it too. It took my wife and I a few years to get aligned and we still have some odd moments, especially about money. They sure are a frugal bunch.

You misunderstood line 1.

If A then B does not mean If B then A.

Ofcourse there are several ways a Thai woman might have learned to speak english and formal education is absolutely one of them--so is working in a bar and so is having a past farang boyfriend. I think most would agree with this statement--except neversure about anything.

What I said was that if a Thai woman does not speak english then there is less chance she worked in a bar. It would also be true there is less chance she had a farang boyfriend and less chance she took english at school. I think very highly of Thai women and I did not mean to insult them or you in my post. I am constantly amazed at how quickly Thai women can learn english compared to how much trouble I have learning Thai...and thats an unspderstatement.

As for line 3, don't know what to say, except you misread my intent. I don't think of my wife as a child at all and treat her with far more equality than her Thai husband of 20+ years ever did. My wife and her friends say farang men offer them far more equality than Thai men...and I will just have to take their word for that.

But to the point, if a man is dating a new woman and she is always getting mad about things as the OP describes then alot of men tend to lose interest. So what I was attempting to suggest the OP do is to be honest with her.

OP, if your girlfriend continues to be mad all the time, do you intend to keep her and make a future with her ? If so, then please disregard my Line 3.

You did a thorough job of expounding on the remainder of my post and I would say I agree entirely with your insight.

Edited June 23, 2014 by ClutchClark

[cgphuket]

I'm in Thailand and don[t speak Thai, why don't everyone speak English for me!!!!

[geronimo]

She is probably an avid watcher of Thai soaps, that would be where she gets that from.

[55Jay]

She's 35, works in an average job making average money. Even though she doesn't speak English that well, we decides to take the decisive step to seek out a foreign boyfriend on the internet. There are a few reasons why Thai females decide to seek out a mate they have absolutely nothing in common with and to varying degrees, can not communicate with. Certainly are genuine ladies seeking mates on the internet as their only portal outside Thailand, but even those share a common, pragmatic goal of (hopefully) improving standard of living and financial security for the future. Her future.

She may be becoming more short tempered because she's not getting what she expected. Getting mad is a signal and is a way to kick you to the curb without a direct confrontation. She may string you along to see if you'll come around but after a year, and a refusal to pony up for a flat, the writing's on the wall, mate.

She might also be seeking a replacement. She could be a quiet professional and already have one. Or more than one. Bar girls aren't exclusive in having one or more punters dangling on the end of fiber optics.

[ClutchClark]

She's 35, works in an average job making average money. Even though she doesn't speak English that well, we decides to take the decisive step to seek out a foreign boyfriend on the internet. There are a few reasons why Thai females decide to seek out a mate they have absolutely nothing in common with and to varying degrees, can not communicate with. Certainly are genuine ladies seeking mates on the internet as their only portal outside Thailand, but even those share a common, pragmatic goal of (hopefully) improving standard of living and financial security for the future. Her future.

She may be becoming more short tempered because she's not getting what she expected. Getting mad is a signal and is a way to kick you to the curb without a direct confrontation. She may string you along to see if you'll come around but after a year, and a refusal to pony up for a flat, the writing's on the wall, mate.

She might also be seeking a replacement. She could be a quiet professional and already have one. Or more than one. Bar girls aren't exclusive in having one or more punters dangling on the end of fiber optics.

Good points one and all.

[ozsamurai]

I find generally that a short temper comes from a lack of understanding, as fluent as you may think your partner is, they are not native and do not always understand nuances when we speak, misunderstanding, and a lack of a broader education knowledge base also makes for losing face, which is what makes a Thai snap faster than a twig.

Oz

[kannot]

The good news is if she doesn't speak good english then she was probably not a bargirl.

As for her getting angry...does it happen from jealousy? Thai women are notoriously jealous.

Best bet is to be firm with her and tell her if she is going to be getting mad all the time then you are going to lose interest in her.

Then reassure her you don't want that to happen because she is special to you.

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

Not to worry...you'll sort it out.

Why do people always assume an English speaking Thai is a bargirl. I bet you more non bar girls speak English than bargirls

[wow64]

Happy wife happy life.

Most things in a relationship boil down to money or s3x.

[wprime]

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

If you think that "up to you" actually means up to you, you should stop giving advice on a forum. Have you ever been to Thailand much less had a Thai girlfriend? I didn't think so.

"Up to you" means "read my mind."

Trust me, life is more entertaining when you assume it actually means 'up to you'.

[mesquite]

OP, she gets mad because you haven't given her enough of your money. How much is enough? All of it.

[AYJAYDEE]

OP, she gets mad because you haven't given her enough of your money. How much is enough? All of it.

youve met her??

[ttthailand]

I have seen too many Thai ladies yelling at or just blowing off their farang husbands or boyfriends. I would not put up with that for one minute... Period !!!

They have no respect nor are willing to listen to you....

Now having said that ... If you are a nit picker and micro manage everything they do then it is you who is the problem. I have seen this also from know it all farangs who put down their other half all the time.

I think if you take an honest look at your relationship you can see the problem. It is difficult to change someone's view of you once it has been set in their mind so perhaps better to move on.

[JAFO]

The good news is if she doesn't speak good english then she was probably not a bargirl.

As for her getting angry...does it happen from jealousy? Thai women are notoriously jealous.

Best bet is to be firm with her and tell her if she is going to be getting mad all the time then you are going to lose interest in her.

Then reassure her you don't want that to happen because she is special to you.

Thai women are accustomed to a decisive male...thats why they are always saying "up to you" everytime you give them the option of choosing where to eat or how to spend the day together.

Not to worry...you'll sort it out.

^ Pretty fair assessments above IMHO excluding line 1 and 3

Line 1 is utter nonsense. My missus speaks great English but she went to college. Not all English speaking Thai woman were or are Bargirls. In fact most I have met and worked with were not and that would be insulting to even think they were. In general usually its the uneducated Thai woman that are the bar girls and learn enough pidgeon English to get by.

Line 3 comes across as very condescending like you are to speak AT her like a child( Given that we assume the OP is dating an adult or so we hope).

I think most live with a higher level of insecurity thus becoming quickly defensive. Poverty can do that to people especially when they have a bigger view of whats out in the world now because of the internet and of course the Thai soaps are portraying things a big skewed. Clearly cultural differences play a huge role in it too. It took my wife and I a few years to get aligned and we still have some odd moments, especially about money. They sure are a frugal bunch.

You misunderstood line 1.

If A then B does not mean If B then A.

Ofcourse there are several ways a Thai woman might have learned to speak english and formal education is absolutely one of them--so is working in a bar and so is having a past farang boyfriend. I think most would agree with this statement--except neversure about anything.

What I said was that if a Thai woman does not speak english then there is less chance she worked in a bar. It would also be true there is less chance she had a farang boyfriend and less chance she took english at school. I think very highly of Thai women and I did not mean to insult them or you in my post. I am constantly amazed at how quickly Thai women can learn english compared to how much trouble I have learning Thai...and thats an unspderstatement.

As for line 3, don't know what to say, except you misread my intent. I don't think of my wife as a child at all and treat her with far more equality than her Thai husband of 20+ years ever did. My wife and her friends say farang men offer them far more equality than Thai men...and I will just have to take their word for that.

But to the point, if a man is dating a new woman and she is always getting mad about things as the OP describes then alot of men tend to lose interest. So what I was attempting to suggest the OP do is to be honest with her.

OP, if your girlfriend continues to be mad all the time, do you intend to keep her and make a future with her ? If so, then please disregard my Line 3.

You did a thorough job of expounding on the remainder of my post and I would say I agree entirely with your insight.

@ Clutch,

No worries. I was not insulted and I hope my response was not seeming that way. I can honestly say I have never been in or around the bar girl environment in all my years in TL. Never was my style, never will be. However some friends that have visited or went with me on business trips lived for it and thus I met them out and about.

And I absolutely agree how quickly Thai woman learn any language. I heard one in BKK some time back on the sky train speaking perfect German.

Anyway all good. I have found in all my years here and occasionally cruising internet forums that most of the issues are simple communication coupled with cultural misunderstandings(And if you have a significant age gap it only amplifies this problem). I speak a little Northern Thai but that's all. I told my wife I will pick it up as I feel I need it. Thai woman take money very seriously(As do most woman anywhere in the world). To go from having virtually none to a lot is something they struggle to handle and thus get mad very quick for things not even related to it, but all back to insecurity.

As for "Up to you" which my wife says on and off, that's their cop out so you will make up their mind for them. I really do not even ask anymore, I just do and she will go. Us westerners spend time trying to be 50/50 and that is foreign to them(Generally speaking)

[MRTELLYOUSTRAIGHT]

Urban Dictionary "Up to you" - Flip flop wearing lazy ass woman that doesn't give a toss.

[Thanet]

You can't blame the poor girl for not talking things through when you both speak different languages.

Learn Thai, or get her English lessons.

[Tham1]

I would not put up with it - here in Malaysia she would be slapped down for this behavior.

[David48]

I would not put up with it - here in Malaysia she would be slapped down for this behavior.

Tham1 ... thanks for your unique viewpoint ...

.