Did i break the law? (defamation/cheating girl)

[OmarZaidMD]

The truth is not a defense for public defamation.

This is the land of face before truth.

It's not that she has multiple boyfriends, but that you

called her out on it in a most public way, and she lost face.

The cops will be sympathetic to her for the lose of face,

far more than her getting 30k from you she didn't return.

And Thais think loans are more like gifts, repayment very optional.

The cops would be glad to take a cut for helping her,

stitch you up out of court, and put one over on a farang.

A court case could drag on interminably and they could impede you

freedom of movement too. But they prefer a quick back room shakedown.

Here. here! Spot on!

[Puwa]

Here's what happened. You pissed her off, she wants revenge. She asked the cops to help lean on you for a cut of whatever you agree to give. Don't go to the meeting. If she is sitting there with the cops and you don't show, the pressure is on her for wasting their time. She may take them to go looking for you, so best to be out of town. Or just quickly move and change your number. Once they see that there's no easy money in it, the cops will ignore her. If afterwards she wants to make a proper legal case, and you do get a real summons, just go home.

[casewatchasia]

- wait until you are summonsed

- go with a lawyer

- deny all knowledge

- not your profile, etc

- even if it was, anyone can access on your phone with no password

- make sure all deleted

Your bigger problem here is not defamation, but that FB covered by Computer Crimes Act, luckily local police dont have technical capability and will need to involve TCSD and MICT.

Your main problem is defamation on a 'personal' matter is near impossible to defend.

[Thanet]

Why did you do that, mate? I think it's well known these girls all have a Thai guy in their back pocket and at least two of us on the go until one of em commits.

Anyway, I don't know if the police are taking her seriously or if you've committed any crime. But if they are and if you did, then they would not necessarily come looking for you. An arranged meeting is easier after all. Let's just hope they're really cops and not a couple guys waiting to sack ya. As a matter of fact, I might just skip that meeting all together and let the money go. The cops are probably gonna want some of that cash anyway, but I doubt they'll issue a warrant for some FB nonsense.

Good advice to the OP.

The meeting could turn nasty, cops or no cops, and the OP is best advised to chalk this up to experience, cut his losses and move on.

[watcharacters]

How old are you, razorramone? I'm tempted to state that you deserve everything that's coming your way, that's if this's a serious thread at all.

Posting hearsay about a girl on FB is the work of an ill-tempered and insecure child.

If you're being serious, then you're not going to be the victor in this instance and taking a financial hit at the offices of the BIB is your best bet to extricate yourself from future potential problems. There are those that'll hit you in its severest form for far less, particularly in Thailand.

.

Can he close HER Facebook account?

"I didnt have his name or anything, so i just posted up on her public facebook wall saying that she's been seeing two guys for the past six months."

[HerbalEd]

You don't have to do anything she says. Unless you get an official summons from the police to appear at the police station, ignore her.

BTW, her boyfriend may well have know about you all along. It's very common practice here.

Meanwhile, don't let it get you down. Just get back on a new whorse.

Edited November 11, 2014 by HerbalEd

[JDGRUEN]

OP - Ignore her email ... write off the loan, don't do anything with the police unless you get an official police summons, it will go bad for you to do it her way...

Move to another town if possible - change your SIM card / number. Don't talk to her anymore, get a new girlfriend - there are only about 5 million of them in that age range.

Oh - and get yourself a new email address - and drop your current facebook page - notify trusted FB friends of the change

Or at least BLOCK her on Facebook

CUT HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE

[Jonmarleesco]

You're obviously finding out the hard way that slander and libel don't translate well into Thai. But then why did you bother, in the first place, to post anything?

[realenglish1]

Yes if it was real you would have been summoned by regular mail in writing by the post office. Not by email

What I would do if you really want to get the money back is see an attourny

Yes you damaged her reputation . Her boyfriend in the small town probably is fighting with her now.

She has bad character so just walk away from it and learn

[Phoenix1312]

I read some of these posts and just shake my head. Really how stupid some of you men are. You were dating and not committed as engaged or married. Most do have a Thai guy somewhere else. Another mate of mine gave his girl his credit card and now is filing for bankruptcy. She is living it up with the husband she never told him about.

[Tony125]

To clarify: No I did not recieve any official police summons. Nor did I get anything last night when I went to the police station. The email was from HER, not from the police, telling me to come. And at the police station a guy just confirmed there was an appointment.

I deleted the facebook posts a day after making them, they are long gone, but not before she printed them out. You can call me vindictive or childish, but I met this girls friends, family, all to find out she has a long term boyfriend elsewhere? I'm not just going to take it and move on, like a b..ch.

Your not only acting vindictive , childish, immature but stupid as well when you say she was a college girl and I thought was too young to cheat or play games with you, really? Almost everyone knows that Thai girls have more than 1 boyfriend and you are not married to her---you don't OWN her so she can see anyone she wants. Defamation IS a crime in Thailand if you were smart you would have noticed all the political foes going to jail because one has called another a name or cheat and are sued and jailed.

As far as the 30,000 baht is concerned kiss it good bye. If you dated a girl in your home country and then split up do you think a court would order you to be paid back for the money you spent for taking her out, dinners, shows, jewelry? Of course not--money you gave to her is a gift part of dating unless you gave her a loan clearly written out in Thai and English stating this is a loan and date to be paid back, you can ask any lawyer about that.

Thats why TV posters say it was stupid and you should have just moved on . What she has done is invited you to the police station as a civil suite advising you that you that you have commited defamation with the police there to advise you that it is a crime if she wishes to press charges. She will probably then ask for money and if you don't agree she will then probably advise that she is making formal charge where you could be arrested and given a date for a trial or hearing. Next time don't ever hit or defame a girl just suck it up and walk away--this could cost you a lot . If don't beleive get a consultation from a lawyer--first consult is usually free.

Edited November 11, 2014 by Tony125

[jpinx]

To the OP. You have ample defamatory remarks made against you in this thread for you to go and make an official complaint to the Police

[greenchair]

I was dating a girl for six months, when I found out that all along she has a boyfriend back in her hometown. I was furious when I found out, and wanted to inform her boyfriend what she had been doing. I didnt have his name or anything, so i just posted up on her public facebook wall saying that she's been seeing two guys for the past six months.

I get an email/photo today saying that she has been to the police and reported me for slander, with printouts of the posts i made?! Apparently I have to meet her at the same police station Thursday to resolve the situation (also to resolve the problem of some money she borrowed, then used to go see him).

I didnt lie, i have evidence to back up everything i said... am I in trouble for this? I'm slightly worried, although if it was illegal wouldnt the police just come and arrest me? I thought I was just doing the honest thing.

Seperately, I guess I have to hire a translator to explain my side of things, anyone know how much they cost and where I can get one short notice?

You do not need to/ should not go.

If the police want to see you at they station, they can send you a written request otherwise you should not go.

I imagine if you did go you might be scammed by not only her, but other possible dark forces.

Or you might get yourself into all sorts of trouble, even put in prison or sign something you don't understand.

Dont go, don't go, don't go.

Wait for an official letter.

You have the same rights here as in your own country

[jpinx]

I was dating a girl for six months, when I found out that all along she has a boyfriend back in her hometown. I was furious when I found out, and wanted to inform her boyfriend what she had been doing. I didnt have his name or anything, so i just posted up on her public facebook wall saying that she's been seeing two guys for the past six months.

I get an email/photo today saying that she has been to the police and reported me for slander, with printouts of the posts i made?! Apparently I have to meet her at the same police station Thursday to resolve the situation (also to resolve the problem of some money she borrowed, then used to go see him).

I didnt lie, i have evidence to back up everything i said... am I in trouble for this? I'm slightly worried, although if it was illegal wouldnt the police just come and arrest me? I thought I was just doing the honest thing.

Seperately, I guess I have to hire a translator to explain my side of things, anyone know how much they cost and where I can get one short notice?

You do not need to/ should not go.

If the police want to see you at they station, they can send you a written request otherwise you should not go.

I imagine if you did go you might be scammed by not only her, but other possible dark forces.

Or you might get yourself into all sorts of trouble, even put in prison or sign something you don't understand.

Dont go, don't go, don't go.

Wait for an official letter.

You have the same rights here as in your own country

Ya Think ?!?!?!?!?!?

[wandasloan]

Animatic is right. In the West, truth is an absolute defense against defamation, and defamation isn't a crime.

This is nonsense.

No the truth is NOT an absolute defence anywhere on this planet. Even in the US, it is not an absolute defence. Outside the US, it is no defence at all, although it may be a mitigation.

Every country has defamation laws. Every one. Defamation is against the law in every country worth being called a country .

In Thailand truth is no defense and defamation is a crime.

As in every country except one, and even then only tenuously.

The answer to the OP's question is that he may be charged with a criminal offence, but the police will let him know, not the girl. He may ALSO be charged (separately) under the Computer Crime Act, also a criminal matter. Again, the police will tell him of this, not the girl.

He may also or alternatively be charged in civil court with defamation and be liable for damages (a judgement in money), but the court will let him know, not the girl. In either case, he should get a lawyer immediately.

Those are the worst scenarios.

[scorecard]

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So out of curiousity and not wanting to wait till thursday, I took a taxi to the station just now. I didnt get much out of them... just a confirmation to come back thursday to 'talk' with the girl, me, an officer, and her.

Now looking at these posts talking about defamation is illegal here, even if its true. If there was a criminal charge they would have had me there, right?

No, that will ...hopefully not....be done at the meeting thursday.....

You better make sure you have a respected thai person coming along with you.

Be wary of a translator ordered to come by the police.

Good luck and do not underestimate the whole lot.

And don't raise your voice or talk strongly or rudely. Do that and you'll make the whole thing worse regardless of who is right or wrong.

[Gecko123]

OP:

As I said in post #59, I was dragged into a similar situation years ago.

It's true that you can probably ignore the request to come to the police station, but I don't think it is in your best interests to do so, especially after the police have confirmed that a meeting has been scheduled.

First of all, it could be an opportunity to apologize privately to your girlfriend, and defuse the situation. Not showing up might be interpreted as indifference or callousness on your part, and cause your girlfriend's position to harden further. It's also not going to make the police's job any easier, which is not going to endear you to them. It also gives the impression that you are trying to avoid responsibility for what happened (translation: you know you are guilty). For all you know, your girl friend may be satisfied with a heartfelt apology. This problem is going to be exponentially easier to resolve on the local level.

The police are probably going to want to take a statement from you. However, if you are not comfortable giving a statement, you can always delay giving the statement until you have a translator/attorney present.

As for the people advising you to disappear or go on the run, in my opinion, this is terrible advice. First of all, how difficult do you think it will be for the police to identify you, if they haven't already? They have your name, address, photo, passport # already. You do know that the police have computers, and you're required to report your address every 90 days, right? They don't have to find you. All they have to do is identify you, and just sit back and wait.

If you disappeared at this point, your girlfriend would no doubt follow through and file a complaint. The police would likely have little choice to refer the complaint to the regional prosecutor. If they decided to charge you with defamation, and couldn't find you, a warrant for your arrest would be issued. Disappearing is not going to make the warrant go away. Your passport would be flagged, and you would probably be arrested the next time you went to immigration, or tried to leave the country.

This is exactly what happened to my ex-girlfriend. Before she met me, she skipped town after being charged with defamation (for accusing someone of having cheated her on an insurance premium payment). She was never arrested or tracked down, and she figured the charges had been forgotten. But when she went in to apply for a passport, they did a criminal check, and her name was flagged. After applying for a passport, and the 2 week waiting period had passed, the passport office cryptically revealed that there was a "problem" and asked her to come back in. She was told about the outstanding warrant, and had to go to the police station to get it resolved. Long story short, she was taken into custody, and the whole thing took days to resolve, and bond had to be posted to release her. It was a NIGHTMARE. You could end up being detained at Suwannaphum Airport at a terribly inconvenience.

Take it from me, in Thailand it's always best to resolve problems like these as soon as possible.

Sticking your head in the sand rarely works here.

Edited November 11, 2014 by Gecko123

[razorramone]

I'm not going to avoid the police station : the police confirmed me and her should meet there... if i skip the meeting i will look bad and perhaps annoy the police for wasting their time. She already knows where I live.

I will go with a lawyer to protect myself. No idea what will happen... some of the police were quite friendly, joking that i was a 'gik' and wanting to see photos. And didnt give me anything formal, just said to come and talk thursday. But i'll go with a lawyer for sure.

[jcisco]

If you have not been summoned to the police station by an order of the police, than you are under no obligations to attend. Photos and emails of her venture to report you for damaging her reputation despite the stated slander, in fact libel being truthful are interesting but a police order does not make.

I would however seek the services of a lawyer for both advice and for any sort of meeting that may eventually happen.

Furthermore not sure in its applicability to Thailand, I would have her existing long term relationship that you mentioned on her facebook verified to an acceptable level by a PI immediately. And should not be too difficult for a PI to obtain evidence of a timeline and or statements from the couple themselves confirming your story.

Sounds like you are going to have to pay up some cash either way to prove you were an idiot, but correct or just pay out your apparent defamation.

Enjoy.

[kkerry]

The Thai way would be not to turn up to the police station... because you have another more important appointment, you have a cold, feeling dizzy, need to make merit, enter the monk-hood, going to Singapore for an extended period etc. etc.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

This is exactly what happened to my ex-girlfriend. Before she met me, she skipped town after being charged with defamation (for accusing someone of having cheated her on an insurance premium payment). She was never arrested or tracked down, and she figured the charges had been forgotten. But when she went in to apply for a passport, they did a criminal check, and her name was flagged. After applying for a passport, and the 2 week waiting period had passed, the passport office cryptically revealed that there was a "problem" and asked her to come back in. She was told about the outstanding warrant, and had to go to the police station to get it resolved. Long story short, she was taken into custody, and the whole thing took days to resolve, and bond had to be posted to release her. It was a NIGHTMARE. You could end up being detained at Suwannaphum Airport at a terribly inconvenience.

More likely a scam to extract money from you.

Did you pay them?

[atyclb]

OP brings back memories from high school. Oh those peri-pubertal emotions were not easy to control.

and then / luckily we grew up.

Edited November 11, 2014 by atyclb

[maidee]

you cannot even report ONLINE for your 90 days

so you will go to the police station for an email you got from your soon to be ex ?

just ignore , but too late, you went to check out yourself ...

keep us update on thursday

[Gecko123]

This is exactly what happened to my ex-girlfriend. Before she met me, she skipped town after being charged with defamation (for accusing someone of having cheated her on an insurance premium payment). She was never arrested or tracked down, and she figured the charges had been forgotten. But when she went in to apply for a passport, they did a criminal check, and her name was flagged. After applying for a passport, and the 2 week waiting period had passed, the passport office cryptically revealed that there was a "problem" and asked her to come back in. She was told about the outstanding warrant, and had to go to the police station to get it resolved. Long story short, she was taken into custody, and the whole thing took days to resolve, and bond had to be posted to release her. It was a NIGHTMARE. You could end up being detained at Suwannaphum Airport at a terribly inconvenience.

More likely a scam to extract money from you.

Did you pay them?

Yeah, AOA, the Laksi passport office was in on the scam too. LOL.

The police returned the bond in full once the matter was resolved, so no money changed hands.

Any other wild speculation you'd like to share?

Edited November 11, 2014 by Gecko123

[AnotherOneAmerican]

This is exactly what happened to my ex-girlfriend. Before she met me, she skipped town after being charged with defamation (for accusing someone of having cheated her on an insurance premium payment). She was never arrested or tracked down, and she figured the charges had been forgotten. But when she went in to apply for a passport, they did a criminal check, and her name was flagged. After applying for a passport, and the 2 week waiting period had passed, the passport office cryptically revealed that there was a "problem" and asked her to come back in. She was told about the outstanding warrant, and had to go to the police station to get it resolved. Long story short, she was taken into custody, and the whole thing took days to resolve, and bond had to be posted to release her. It was a NIGHTMARE. You could end up being detained at Suwannaphum Airport at a terribly inconvenience.

More likely a scam to extract money from you.

Did you pay them?

Yeah, AOA, the Laksi passport office was in on the scam too. LOL.

The police returned the bond was returned in full once the matter was resolved, so money changed hands.

Any other wild speculation you'd like to share?

1. You speak Thai and read Thai, spoke to the passport office yourself, and read the outstanding warrant.

2. Or your gf told you what happened.

I'm thinking 2.

And you didn't check anything, just believed what she told you?

This is one of the more popular gf scams, gf in trouble with police, mother of gf need operation, farm animal sick, roof leaking.

They all require an infusion of money from the foreign bf to keep the sex rollin'.

Usually cash in the gfs outstretched hand, no receipts.

I did fall for the gf,

Dead Aunt, need burial money, arrested for gambling need bail money scams

I didn't fall for the,

Roof leaking, washing machine broken needs repair, big water bill, send money for children scams.

Edited November 11, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Si Thea01]

You're actually older than I thought but obviously still very immature. Don't you read how the social network is continuously bringing people undone. Never post anything on social media that is likely to come back and bight you on the backside.

Firstly, was your source reliable about her and an alleged boyfriend. Did you have any proof of what you are alleging. Photographs; eye witness account or you sighting them together. Please elaborate, because if you have no evidence then you have gone off half cocked. If you have only acted on hearsay then you have been a very foolish person.

The law is very clear in Thailand that if you defame someone and they can prove it, then they have the right to complain to Police, who can call you in, together with the complainant, in an attempt to sort the matter out. It can go two ways, civil or criminal. If no agreement is reached then it is possible that a trip to the court could ensure, I'd say if you went onto face book, then she could have sufficient evidence to give you a run.

Was what you wrote explicit? I don't need to know what, just how damming it was. If what you have alleged about her has seen by her friends, then she has lost face. Secondly, you will need to have solid evidence of what your are alleging but this, unfortunately for you, is not a defence here and does not give you the right to put it out there for all to see. Just remember that once it is on the net, it is in the ether forever, you cannot take it back.

Who sent you the email about meeting at a certain police station? Most unlikely the police, I would assume either her or someone known to her. If the police want you, they normally attend and either take you into custody or ask you to come to the station where they are based. Check where the email came from.

The next thing I would do is grow up, don't put yourself in an at risk situation. As another poster asked, what does she know about you? obviously your address, what else? You must also remember, that if she has a Thai boyfriend, and I am not trying to frighten you, but you better keep an eye out because they can be very malicious.

If it was me, I would not attend any police station until they officially notified me, and if you do not speak or understand Thai, then, if they summons you, I would get an interpreter as soon as possible. Sorry but I cannot help you with that. You say she borrowed B30,000.00 from you. Thai g/f's do not know the meaning of the word borrow, so in you case I would forget that and put it down to experience. That is, unless you have a signed agreement between yourself and her. No? What a surprise.

I have just noticed you went to the police station. Why in the hell then have you sought advise here. I would now suggest that you find an upstanding Thai citizen, one whom you can trust and if you persist in going to the station again then you will need someone to help you. What I would also do is contact the lawyers who advertise on this forum. They are normally obliging and will give you some basic advise over the phone. If they help then follow their advise.

All in all, you have put your foot right in it. In a way I feel for you because you have let your feelings rule your thoughts and instead of thinking with you know what, start using your brain to do so. I would not take any advise from those telling you to be dishonest and remove your face book page, lie, etc, as this cannot only get you in deeper if this matter proceeds. Also, deleted items from a computer are able to be retrieved, as some of the so called smart crooks who have found out the hard way.

You seem to be an honest person, stay that way. Definitely, immature and very naïve but for you sake, listen to what some people tell, not others and let's hope things work out for you. Life is one big experience but boy you are certainly getting in early.

.

[Bluetongue]

Do you have proof that she has a Thai boyfriend, what did you see them doing it and film it or something. At the Police

Station this will come out, it galls me to say it but just have your lawyer go and find out what they want, then you will haveto pay up which would be relatively easy,or prepare for some battle, do you really want that. As you are unwilling to take thenot go/ move/change cell phone advice.

[Thai at Heart]

Thai at Heart, on 11 Nov 2014 - 03:03, said:

Yes you have defamed someone and unfortunately for you, it is easily traceable to your facebook. I would delete all records of the Facebook account instantly, and clear all the caches of it in your computers.

At least you would have a chance of claiming it wasn't you.

Facebook does NOT give your private details, unless you have been silly enough to make them public. the op can change his phone number and if possible his address.. They do not have passport number, so the op can "hide," himself. Next time, don't be such a fool, use a fake Facebook account.

Um, if they want to prove who wrote the message, it would be rather simple from a working facebook account don't you think.

In this situation, and I have been accused of internet defamation, is to first of all deny absolutely everything. Of course that wouldn't be quite so simple if the account is under "Thai at heart", and there is a picture of mr TAH sitting with the accused in a picture.

If you have been sharing even the simplest thing with anyone on Facebook, your details are easily available. Using a Facebook for this type of accusation is a really dumb thing to do.

I am not sure you wouldn't get into trouble with it elsewhere in the world. Just because you beleive something to be true, blabbing it in a he said/she said manner is fraught with problems.

[razorramone]

Si Thea01: Yes I am sure about the boyfriend. She admitted it to me. Plus it is all over her social media pages... she just engineered it so I couldn't see.

What did I say: Something like 'your girlfriend has been seeing me for six months'. I did lose my temper and also call her a liar, and say her behaviour was ugly. And attached it to a photo of us to prove I wasnt lying. That was all. Her boyfriend never responded, then I deleted everything. She says I damaged her reputation. I suppose I did, but I was furious, she told me a very elaborate lie to pull all this off.

Who asked me to come to the station: she did. But at the station the police confirmed this. Didnt charge me, it sounded like they want to mediate between us, and some of the police were joking about me and her. But hey perhaps it's all a ruse and they will charge me once she is present/have the paperwork. I will take a lawyer with me for sure.

What does she have: Name, number, address.

You can call me immature, but how would some of you react if a girl was seeing you for half a year, and you find out that her, her friends, and family have all been hiding the fact she has a boyfriend. Even shagging us in the same weekend! Hell... she could have just told me at the start and we would be f-buddies. Sure this is thailand, but i think some of you would be pretty annoyed about it.

Edited November 11, 2014 by razorramone

[PLW]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

Defamation in Thailand can be considered as both civil and a criminal offence depending on the circumstances.

I have warned my family a billion times, always be careful what they comment on facebook, it can have extreme or even fatal consequences. There have been many lives ruined and murders associated with facebook, in some cases what is published on there can be like taking a rope and hanging yourself.

Firstly even if your so-called girlfriend were seeing 50 guys behind your back she has not broken any laws, in fact she has no legal obligation to stay loyal to you, this is a private domestic matter between you and her, so placing details of someone's private life in the public domain in a derogatory way can be considered as deformation, especially if the persons on the receiving end claim that such comments have affected their careers, other relationships, their good name or reputations.

You said that, ‘you received an email/photo today saying that she has been to the police and reported you for slander, Apparently you have to meet her at the same police station Thursday to resolve the situation’. Questions: Have you received any official documentation from the said police station, or from her lawyer summoning you to the police station at a stated time? If not than do not turn up under any circumstances and ignore the email. Do not make any further correspondences with her or phone chats, the less said from now on, the less chance that you will incriminate yourself any further.

If in the case that this were a civil defamation case than this has nothing to do with the police, your girlfriend would require the services of a lawyer and take legal action via the civil court. If a criminal defamation case then the police are required to send you a direct notice to attend the police station not via a third party email, otherwise you are under no obligation to attend just on notice of an email from your girlfriend.

As regards the monies you alleged to have lent her, do you have any form of evidence that your girlfriend acknowledged the monies you handed over to her was a loan? If you do, than again that’s a civil case to be taken via the civil court system, if not, than you have not a cat in hells chance of grabbing even 1 baht back of the alleged loan.

If you do decide to turn up at the police station, than you do so at your own risk and discretion, my guess being that your girlfriend has reported the matter to the police and that all the police have done is made a report which under the law they are obliged to do, it`s just standard practice, does not mean that they will take any further action.

And now it`s up to you.