Pattaya City hit self destruct in 12 goal thriller

BANGKOK:-- Pattaya City once again headed to Bangkok on Saturday with lots of optimism to play one of the best teams left in the competition.

An inspirational 4 hour team talk was given before the game by veteran manager Terry "the hobbit" Wilcox, which mostly included the terms such as "HOOF IT!!! AND GIVE IT TO PAULO AND DIMA COS EVERYBODY ELSE IS SH**TE!

It was all the players needed before kickoff and City promptly took the upper hand playing nice football and caused the Londoner several problems before taking a deserved lead on 15 mins. Rooney was brought down in the box by the Londoner keeper and should have had a stonewall penalty after a great through ball by Paulo, however the referee unbelievably didn't give it. From the resulting corner however, which was floated in by Chris, Rooney made no mistake dispatching the ball at the back post with his nose.0-1

Pattaya were looking comfortable for the next 15 minutes then Londoner somehow managed to find an equalizer out of nowhere with a customary hoof up the park which evaded the City defenders and was knocked past Harry in the City net which he could do absolutely nothing about!!! 1-1

The goal which gave the home side the lead on the stroke of half-time however was straight out of Chucklevision, with Harry having the ball in his hands with no danger after the defence snuffed out an attack Harry some unknown reason, gave the ball directly to an opposition forward 10 yards out who knocked the ball home."cries of to me to you" were heard from the terracing as the fans who ripped the pish singing "dodgy keeper", Harry will be having nightmares about that for the rest of his life which will be very short if he does it again!!! Harry is learning all the time in goal and everybody makes mistakes so head up lad.2-1 HT

Londoner then took advantage of the fact the City players heads had dropped after losing such a cheap goal and quickly took the initiative scoring 3 quick goals to make it 5-1,then step forward Andy "the fat controller" Emery, a long high ball was played up by the Londoner defence and jogging backwards he headed the ball past the despairing City goalkeeper from was must have been 50 yards, surely he must be in line for own goal of the season now.6-1

Wilcox then looked round to find Rooney ,Chris and Paulo sunbathing on the bench oblivious to the 3 goals that had gone since half time.

City to their credit didn't give in and managed to dig in deep and won a penalty (YES WE WERE ACTUALLY GIVEN ONE!!!!) after Paulo was chopped to the ground and he smashed the penalty past the Londoner keeper.

2 mins later City were denied another penalty when Dima was clearly fouled in the box and even the opposition players were beginning to think we were being cheated by the homer ref.

With time running out Andy Emery managed to redeem himself when he managed to power a header in from 18 yards, Emery was again an inspiration to play with – setting the tempo all day long.

Dima managed to get another one back from a free kick which was placed into the corner from 20 yards to make it I think 6-4, im starting to run out of fingers!! Luckily I have 13 of those!

Rooney finished off the scoring to complete the cricket score after a long ball from Shane, he mis-controlled it off his pigeon chest and scuffed the ball past the keeper to make the scoreline respectable. FT 5-7

Thanks to all our sponsors for their support: Pattaya Rentacar; Thaivisa; Asia Back Packers;Gecko Properties; KPK Foods; I-Rovers Sportsbar Pattaya and our kit manufacturer - Puma

-- 2014-12-03

Is it me or is this a ladyboy pin calender?