Lekong Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Someone wants us to believe here that Thais easily forgive and forget? Not the Thais that I have seen only for a year and 10 months. I have been teaching in a school for one year ten months and there are teachers there who have never spoken to each other. I don't know how long they were not talking to each other before my arrival in this school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sir charles IV Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 It sounds to me that if you had just hired a full time house keeper (with benefits) you would have been better off. The question is, if you did not love the house keeper and she was not performing, would you keep her on? The problems is you are possibly "in lust" due to the fact that you know deep down you don't really have her 100% which can be a great aphrodisiac even if you don't recognise it as such. It appears she is control as she is not emotionally attached to you. All of this however falls to naught when you factor in your son and his happiness. This unfortunately is your Achilles heel in this and you are probably one of millions of men who won't break up their home for the sake of their children. If she is lying and having an affair, just do the same on the quiet. Who knows, you stopping having sex with her may throw the balance in the opposite direction. You are responsible for your own happiness, not someone else, so go out and make yourself happy. Lord knows, she seems to be. I agree here. She has the balance of power. Once the balance is shifted (equalized) I suspect a dramatic change in her attitude. No reason why he cannot hire a university student babysitter. Win win win. He'll get some action, she'll pay for her tuition and perhaps the wife will switch to the babysitter. Keep it under the same roof I say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Yup yup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rajhulmaheesh Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Your situation is not all bad. Ride it out and perhaps things will improve with time. No relationship is perfect and don't let anyone try to tell you that theirs is. If she is hitting all the other areas vital to a marriage then live with it. Communicate and let her how you feel, push for the threesome action and keep being the man you are. If things go totally south in the romance department then get yourself a side chick. Life and romance in general is never as it is in the movies. Best of luck. thanks good advice , real not like some idiots who write judgemental statements thanks People who arent judged do insane things like knowingly marry lesbians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Bisexuals that can't make decisions shouldn't judge about other peoples' mental states. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docno Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I have successfully converted two thai lesbians. The trick is to play the role properly physically and emotionally. It appears that you don't have what it takes. Your choices are put up with it (turn a blind eye) as some have suggested or walk away. If you've handled it for this long perhaps keep going as you have. As some suggested she's married to u for a) financial security save face c) child. Unfortunately for u love/sex were not included. She'd figured it out when she married u (keep the gf) to complete her overall needs but it seems u just figured it out. Good luck. Studies have shown a person sexual orientation cannot be changed, not matter what. Not hormones, not chemicals, no behavioral modification can do it. Either the 2 women you are referring to were not lesbians, or they just let you think you converted them. Women can fake arousal they don't have erections that clearly show their state of mind. Sure, but studies also show that sexual orientation is not either/or, black and white. People can be at different points along the spectrum. Some people will be exclusively heterosexual or homosexual in their preferences and some can fall at various points in-between. I once had a gf in Canada who went through a 'gay period' of several years in his 20s. He'd been popular with girls in high school and when I met him, he had a beautiful wife and two kids and apparently was very happily married. I suspect that women are even more 'ambisexual' than men ... a lot of my female friends have explored things with girl friends in their past in a way that most straight guys wouldn't consider for a second. Maybe the OP's wife lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. She can love a man but feels a relatively greater sexual attraction to women... Sure sexuality is not black or white. But you said you converted two lesbians. They were not. If they were they could not be converted no matter what you did. The examples you described fall in other categories: bisexual or bi-curious. To a homosexual the opposite sex is disgusting as the same sex is to a heterosexual. It is also a false perception that females experiment more than guys. To most men experimenting is just a problem of lost masculinity but during teenagers years, it is very common for heterosexual males to experiment especially with some close quarter best friend. Females do have to fear society judgement as much as men but they can also get less physical satisfaction from same sex experimentation. I don't have the exact statistic but I don't think there would be much difference, especially in Thailand where bisexuality among young men is really really really common. It was someone else who claimed to have 'converted' two lesbians. As for same-sex experience (in a very broad sense), I don't know about Thailand, but the Kinsey studies found that women were more open to this, and more recent studies in western countries have found the same. For instance, see http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2514246/Rise-female-flexi-sexual-Why-women-far-likely-men-gay-fling.html (16% for women vs 4% for men). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycoon Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 My wife also had a lesbian relationships before me. In some ways though it has added spark to our relationship and I certainly don't feel any jealousy if she 'fancies' another girl. I know people are joking on here about 'three in a bed' scenarios but there is scope to have fun with this to make sure every one is happy. Please remember that even if your wife has lesbian tendencies (as indeed my wife does) it does not mean that you cannot have a happy life together. Look for positives. Sorry but your nuts if you think its ok for your wife to have the occasional homosexual fling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhys Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Yikes..what a situation... handle it as "you" see it. Can you do that? Your peace of mind is important.... Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rajhulmaheesh Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 (edited) It sounds to me that if you had just hired a full time house keeper (with benefits) you would have been better off. The question is, if you did not love the house keeper and she was not performing, would you keep her on? The problems is you are possibly "in lust" due to the fact that you know deep down you don't really have her 100% which can be a great aphrodisiac even if you don't recognise it as such. It appears she is control as she is not emotionally attached to you. All of this however falls to naught when you factor in your son and his happiness. This unfortunately is your Achilles heel in this and you are probably one of millions of men who won't break up their home for the sake of their children. If she is lying and having an affair, just do the same on the quiet. Who knows, you stopping having sex with her may throw the balance in the opposite direction. You are responsible for your own happiness, not someone else, so go out and make yourself happy. Lord knows, she seems to be. What galaxy do you come from. Do you think a thai chick who serves as a maid wants to to also have sex? OMG do see see what thai maids look like. Edited January 16, 2015 by Rajhulmaheesh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prolm2810 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 It sounds to me that if you had just hired a full time house keeper (with benefits) you would have been better off. The question is, if you did not love the house keeper and she was not performing, would you keep her on? The problems is you are possibly "in lust" due to the fact that you know deep down you don't really have her 100% which can be a great aphrodisiac even if you don't recognise it as such. It appears she is control as she is not emotionally attached to you. All of this however falls to naught when you factor in your son and his happiness. This unfortunately is your Achilles heel in this and you are probably one of millions of men who won't break up their home for the sake of their children. If she is lying and having an affair, just do the same on the quiet. Who knows, you stopping having sex with her may throw the balance in the opposite direction. You are responsible for your own happiness, not someone else, so go out and make yourself happy. Lord knows, she seems to be. What galaxy do you come from. Do you think a thai chick who serves as a maid wants to to also have sex? OMG do see see what thai maids look like. Yes I see many "OMG do you see what thai maids look like" - I see it all the time, BUT those are the one hired by "the wife/gf". I have a friend who never dare to put in "a vote" in the hiring process! - As single parent this is an opposite situation - When I see a thai/falang couple with a nanny on their tail looking like the one you mention, I just smile Actually this could be a topic in another tread cause this influence many "falang/thai marriage/relationships" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotpoom Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 (edited) I doubt that marriage will change a lady from lesbian to hetrosexual if that is her basic nature. I do think though that she can love a good man and husband although may find the sexual act with a man "off putting". I wish you a pleasant resolution to your situation and understand your frustrations. I am convinced however that to have even one person to truly love and care for us puts us amoung the blessed. Edited January 18, 2015 by dotpoom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Don't fall for platonic love, women like orgasms. And both of you have several body parts for sexual stimulation and pleasure. Lovers should be able to show each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maidee Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 invite another woman in the bed, you will be pleased and so will see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maurerpablo11111 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I have been living here for almost two decades in a sequence of serious relationships, and I can confirm that Thai women usually do a clean cut when they terminate relationships, often in favor of a local man who promises a mouthful in terms of love forever. Be warned and do not commit all your wealth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisher15 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 I have been living here for almost two decades in a sequence of serious relationships, and I can confirm that Thai women usually do a clean cut when they terminate relationships, often in favor of a local man who promises a mouthful in terms of love forever. Be warned and do not commit all your wealth. HIYA mY wife have contact with ex girlfriend, VIA Social media, physically I do not know as I am not there , she explained they both cheated on each other , doing the childish thing getting even , they were young and together for 10 years , due to circumstnces opening good restaurant together and that lead to them sharing a bedroom etc etc, hard to get all details outa my wife ..she is staying friend with her out of saving face and apparently her ex did family some finacial favours.. We have a son so I not sure if she would cheat on me while I am not there ..who knows but I do know she not ever interested in Thai man as she sees them as butterflies and had 1 cheat on her before she had lesbian girlfriend so that might of lead her to hating men and not really true lesbian .. She happy to live in Australia with me and I not invest anything in Thailand just her holidays every couple year .. time will tell lest of my worries , all I want from her is passion and good times in and out of bed , see how it pans out when I go in February cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisher15 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Of course she might be Lesbian and will remain Lesbian, that's not a disease. You might be able to find out what she's after, maybe read Part II chapter I of Kamasutra, and then draw your conclusion. Nobody else but yourself will be able to do your very personal conclusion about your very personal relationship with a very individual woman. Lesbian of convenience at time in her life but still feels to me she has liking towards females maybe that just the way she is.loving .. I read KS very complex not sure what to read into it ... Anyways difficultty realy is getting her to open up , I am going Thailnd soon , she been then with family 2 months so be intersting if she has been listening to my needs via social media and phone , I have approached it by including her as most important factor in our marriage , that making me happy inturn makes her life more pleasant ..and that her needs are important to me being happy to fullfill them ...but I can not do it without hearing from her what she want f.... knows cheers 4.40m in Australia ahhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 (edited) http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm#In_females I would try to open her by kissing the clit of her pussy, many women are in fact bisexual and take their girlfriends for that. KS should be translated into everyday English, all of it, not only the acrobatic part. II/2 is about sizes, shapes and temperaments, and the need to fit. Edited January 23, 2015 by micmichd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youngold Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 If life is comfortable, women just like men seek sexual adventures. Just make sure your material losses are limited when she does. If all is in her name, you will be dumped for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Many women 40+ no longer want much (or any) sex. In the west, married men learn to do without. Luckily for you, Thai ladies will often do it for your enjoyment, even though they don't really want to. Accept that it's the best deal you're gonna get. She's just finished with sex (lesbian or not). It's normal married life with a 40+ wife. Or do as my ex-wife advised me to do when I raised this topic with her, go get a hooker... When your car is broken, call a mechanic... If your plumbing is broken, call a plumber... If you are not getting satisfied in bed, but the rest of the relationship is working, call in a professional... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) In general Thai relationships are about care and stability. No! Thai relationships are about sex and money. The Thai girls have sex with the men, the men give them money. Nationality of the guy not important. Only difference due to nationality is Thai guys move on when the sex stops, and stop the money too. For some reason many foreign guys accept no sex, and keep on paying. Edited February 7, 2015 by AnotherOneAmerican 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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