Can An Asian Woman Really Love A Man? Or Are Men Just Atms

[Heng]

It seems to me that the one thing that never gets said is "I take personal responsability for the quality of my life" If it is not working for me it is MY falt.

Well said.

[OlRedEyes]

I thought this stupid thread had died. Can someone please kill it?

Why is it bothering you?

[jbowman1993]

A better question would be, why doesn't the racist and sexist tone of this thread bother you?

[OlRedEyes]

A better question would be, why doesn't the racist and sexist tone of this thread bother you?

Few things bother me. On a medium like the internet you have to deal with every shade of opinion. If I have nothing to say, I ignore it. If I have, I say it. Exchange of ideas doesn't just mean exchanging ideas you agree with.

Point is, if you don't agree, and you don't want to say anything about it, don't click on it.

[Donz]

Some people in hee seem to be very insecure and like to slag off at other people

[Pink Mist]

do you guys want to keep this thread going? it's going nowhere

[fireman]

ok,, if you could put a thai woman in ,, lets say Amsterdam,, where the government will support her and her family for life,,, she wouldnt be asking to go <shopping> all the time.

#1 family,, #2 money , same as family, #3 love,, thats the thai way

the family must survive,, that burden often falls upon, the type and age of thai women farang want to marry,, or <love>,,,, these women are often considered head of the family <support>

if a farang wants to jump into the mix, he must accept role as head of family, and supply support, is $$$$$$$ honey

[Lawrence o' Surin]

Please try to hold back the stupid comments and place some thoughtful posts. At least for the first 10

How many are not lov'd, who think they are!

Yet all are willing to believe these yings;

And, though 'tis Thailand's known and obvious cheat,

Yet man's self-love still favours the deceit.

Lawrence

[the swagman]

they say the man should love me, never they should love the man. I wonder if there is any love in Asia or is it all just business?

Of course the age of the women affects the answer. Over 25 seem to have more sense.

Absolutely correct.

The man should love the woman. When the man loves the woman and the woman can see it is a real compassion and need and and a true care of that person then she in turn will love that person. If that person wants a cheap thrill on call or doesn't respect her or tend to her then she in turn will stick it out and take what cn be taken.

'love' and marrying for love are a luxury few people have, and us lucky folk, have had only in the 80 years.

Face it fellas we're a dime a dozen.

Growing up in the fat decadent west we have been fed a regular diet of news and rumour of how love should be, how love is the only thing, how to find love. We scoff at customs that arrange marriages without thinking of why they have been arranged. Convenience, effectiveness, suitability, or just just a good catch.

We want to marry for love, yet how often do we really find it.

[Donz]

Well woman love me, not sure whats wrong with most of you guys in here

[Thaddeus]

Well woman love me, not sure whats wrong with most of you guys in here

Just the one Donz?

[Donz]

Well woman love me, not sure whats wrong with most of you guys in here

Just the one Donz?

Just the one that I accept.

[number6]

same everywhere in world some do osme dont - my first wife loved me but i provided all bacon for her and our 3 kids was i an ATM maybe - im pretty sure my second thai wife loves me and i provide bacon for her and our kids but not for hert family or buffallo or whatever -

some are bad some good

love comes in many forms and shapes thank god it owuld be boring if we were all same

but back on topic of course thai ladies can and do love their husbands and of course same as west some only see them mainly as ATM's

I trust were talking about long term relationships and not those lasting no time at all after girl has extracted all she can from poor guy

[rcm]

Spurred on by the recent posts about White men are good husbands and the reasons listed are all about $$$. I am wondering does anyone in Asia every think about love?

Yes, they do

or is marriage in Asia just business?

Not more than in other countries ....ever been to Monaco???

[Kimera]

One of the first things my TW asked me when we met face-to-face was, "will you take me shopping?". I almost dropped her right there but figured what's a few bucks. Well I gave her 8,000 baht and she went shopping while I drank coffee,etc. and watched the Thai stroll by. When she had finished shopping she handed me 5,000 baht. I looked at what she had bought and it was all 'basic' items of clothing and a few nicer things but all priced okay. Later when I visited her village I discovered she literally only had a few pieces of simple clothing. Also, I later found out she wanted to 'look nice' when we went out together; not unreasonable I think.

To this day the TW is frugal with my (our) money. She's wonderful in many other ways and yes she loves me and I her.

So what's my point? Simple. Many people would have viewed the "will you take me shopping" request as just another Thai girl after a farang and his money. This would become their perspective of Thai women. However, once the 'whole picture' comes to light it was just a request from someone asking someone else to provide some basics and a little happiness.

[Fun2Fun]

Stone age mentality....lets just face it...in todays world money mathers....there is no way to circumvent it.....

How much it mathers..thats another story..lol.. ;-)

By the way..money/status is in most cases a factor in relations in any country... ;-)

Edited September 7, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[Kimera]

One of the first things my TW asked me when we met face-to-face was, "will you take me shopping?". I almost dropped her right there but figured what's a few bucks. Well I gave her 8,000 baht and she went shopping while I drank coffee,etc. and watched the Thai stroll by. When she had finished shopping she handed me 5,000 baht. I looked at what she had bought and it was all 'basic' items of clothing and a few nicer things but all priced okay. Later when I visited her village I discovered she literally only had a few pieces of simple clothing. Also, I later found out she wanted to 'look nice' when we went out together; not unreasonable I think.

To this day the TW is frugal with my (our) money. She's wonderful in many other ways and yes she loves me and I her.

So what's my point? Simple. Many people would have viewed the "will you take me shopping" request as just another Thai girl after a farang and his money. This would become their perspective of Thai women. However, once the 'whole picture' comes to light it was just a request from someone asking someone else to provide some basics and a little happiness.

Thats a cool reply....well said!!

I've read most of the posts and I think this one says most of it. my thai partner spends only what is needed. proud that the electric bill is 600 baht per month, AC only used 4 hours!! She is my partner and mother of my child, maybe because once before we lived togerther I gave her my BKK bank card and pin came back 12 weeks later and she was still there and so was the money

Cheers

[DragonLad]

Stone age mentality....lets just face it...in todays world money mathers....there is no way to circumvent it.....

How much it mathers..thats another story..lol.. ;-)

By the way..money/status is in most cases a factor in relations in any country... ;-)

Only today's world?? The Past world money mattered, It's like Playboy's founding father Hugh Hefner has said regarding women, I don't care why they like me!! As long as they like me!!

[CymruAmByth]

As my dear old dad used to say:

"Son, if it's got tits or wheels, either rent it or be prepared for it to cost you a small fortune."

Having lived in the UK, Australia and now here, I believe this to be true the world over.

[rcalsop]

It'd be interesting to hear from the few falangs on this board who have married Asians/Thais that were their economic equals or superiors.

IMO money is just another aspect of life. Take it out of the equation and you take out all/most of the problems/fights so many people have because of it.

I have never found in (Asia )Thai`s in particular to be money grabbers ,my T wife controls all the cash and is much better than me ,no much much better than me .at work I found my male and female collegues and subordinates extremely generous with little gifts ,food , items

they had seen on weekend travels .

At lunch time in the factory I think I could have eaten free every day I frequently sat down with the supervisors or the factory girls and shared their food and always had fun. My junior management team mostly female and unmarried from 30`s to 50`s frequently took me out on team meals and always refused payment going to great lengths to make sure I did not sneak out and pay. I went on factory trips ,picnics etc ,weekends away and it was always a fight to pay my share .

When I left the company recently I was showered with gifts small and large I am wearing a nice genuine Seiko watch the factory floor girls collected for and presented me , the the pen infront of me a nice Sheafer was a gift from the QC team..Photo frames and a pictures of the teams etc ..from the boss and the richer seniors ziltch ,nada nothing . My experience in Korea, Bangladesh , and now Malaysia are the same . I have found far less generous people in Europe ,that is why I am in Asia a careful descision made many years ago .

Yes my wife although she controls the cash will still discuss and ask for things but she gets ( we get actually ) great pleasure from finding the 199 Baht shoes she really likes and looks down on the 2000 baht shoes in the boutiques even for special occasions when I want her to spend or slash out on a super dress she will not taking great time and effort to find the factory outlet or discount shop.

I felt more like the cheque book ( the old version of the ATM ) when I was in UK ..

So my perspective money grabbers .no , walking ATM apart from being the provider ...no , love I have never been loved or loved so much in my life I am away from family at the moment and cannot wait to get back to them next weekend . Then they move to Penang shortly with me but at the moment I have a horrible empty void in my life the first time I have experienced that ..so no love in Asia ..wrong ....lots and lots of it .

Do not forget love for your children is unconditional no deals no balanced give and take just total unconditional love .

Any other love is more conditional and a trade off with balanced give and take and that applies to behaviour , emotion shared feelings and money.

Edited September 8, 2006 by rcalsop

[Ulysses G.]

It's like Playboy's founding father Hugh Hefner has said regarding women, I don't care why they like me!! As long as they like me!!

Agreed!

[meemiathai]

Wow, rcalsop, you must be a really nice guy to have so many colleagues like you.

Do be careful though that there in fact are a lot of money grabbers, greedy people in Asia. But you can avoid them by keeping your eyes open.

[sting01]

One of the first things my TW asked me when we met face-to-face was, "will you take me shopping?". I almost dropped her right there but figured what's a few bucks. Well I gave her 8,000 baht and she went shopping while I drank coffee,etc. and watched the Thai stroll by. When she had finished shopping she handed me 5,000 baht. I looked at what she had bought and it was all 'basic' items of clothing and a few nicer things but all priced okay. Later when I visited her village I discovered she literally only had a few pieces of simple clothing. Also, I later found out she wanted to 'look nice' when we went out together; not unreasonable I think.

To this day the TW is frugal with my (our) money. She's wonderful in many other ways and yes she loves me and I her.

So what's my point? Simple. Many people would have viewed the "will you take me shopping" request as just another Thai girl after a farang and his money. This would become their perspective of Thai women. However, once the 'whole picture' comes to light it was just a request from someone asking someone else to provide some basics and a little happiness.

Well here also it's possible to 'bash' : 3 000 bht is kinda a big amount in some places in Thailand and/or for some thai citisens (not only women).

The lady who work as consruction worker would certainly agree to be my mia noi for that amount, I know some students who had a bf (the guy is 60+) because he give her 4 000 per month (and not bother her much than 2 or 3 night per month too). So Money even in your case is also the issue.

On the other hand, is that different in USA or in Europe? That is one question.

Another one is does the lady give you what you are waiting for in exchange of the money you will spend on her during the 40 or 50 years of your mariage? Important question it is not?

Another one is : would you dare to go to your step familly with your wife (their daughter) wearing dirty , ugly clothes, you know the kind of clothes the tramps usually wear?

Mostly thai ladies are money minded during a relationship, but often the reason is a good one : If the lady look rich, it mean she got a rich husband (bf). So fame and honor are more for you than for her. The only fame she got in fact is more 'private' : she was good in bed enought to avoid you to wase the money on some hookers in bar.

So, yes thai ladies are money minded (As mostly all women), but the reasons are more honorable than we can think at first. I also precise I am not spoken about those who have a living by playing with our wallets, but the ladies who enter genuinely in relationship.

There is also another point, I am personnaly middle agged (mid 40'), and I know here or in my own country I will not attract a young lady (let say 25 y old) just because I make her horny. If the lady decide to have a relatioship with me, it's because she suppose I can offer her soemthing a younf man of 25 y old can not offer her :stability

[rcalsop]

Wow, rcalsop, you must be a really nice guy to have so many colleagues like you.

Do be careful though that there in fact are a lot of money grabbers, greedy people in Asia. But you can avoid them by keeping your eyes open.

Fifteen plus years in Asia I never allowed it to be an issue , but I think I can spot a non genuine person or a money grabber a mile off . My job (not consulting) actual hands on is team selection and building ,and implementing change from factory floor to the boss ...the hardest work and most likely to fail is the boss. I can also say I have never ,repeat never found a bad work force only bad management trying to make money out of their work force not the product or service they are providing . That is the same in Europe even the heavily unionised areas in the UK, Sunderland and The Valleys in South Wales spring to mind , where I had the reputation of being the Axe man for management teams.

So not a nice man totally just one who listens with an open mind and through bitter experience a better than average judge of human character. At least I hope so as that is what I do to earn my daily crust .

[Ulysses G.]

Wow, rcalsop, you must be a really nice guy to have so many colleagues like you.

Do be careful though that there in fact are a lot of money grabbers, greedy people in Asia. But you can avoid them by keeping your eyes open.

Fifteen plus years in Asia I never allowed it to be an issue , but I think I can spot a non genuine person or a money grabber a mile off .

I can pick out a dishonest Farang pretty quickly, but it still takes me a LONG time to figure out the character of Thais.

[jamman]

IMO money is just another aspect of life. Take it out of the equation and you take out all/most of the problems/fights so many people have because of it.

But as long as self esteem is tied to social status, and as long as social status is tied to personal power and posessions, you can't take money out of the equation. The main purpose for money is to show rank.

Food and shelter are very easy to take care of. Men work for rank, because women tend to go for the highest ranking guy they can get.

Very few people have outgrown their fascination with wealth.

[jamman]

If you look at the changes in other countries, you can see that as women receive greater educational opportunities and financial independence, they are less likely to marry (and less likely to have children).

That is not to say that they're not having loving relationships; it is just that these relationships become freed of the entanglement with finance, for both partners.

True, and the more some men seem to complain because there aren't any "traditional" roles anymore. Seems to me you can't have it both ways: ie a 'traditional" female role where she is dependent onher husband for her money and a woman who isn't interested in a man for his money.

This is why I choose to remain a loser. I prefer that I often don't dress with a keen fashionable eye, and that I often only have just enough money to get by. I even prefer that I'm not handsome - most women go so far as to call me ugly.

I prefer it this way because it re-defines the rules of engagement. No one is after me for money or looks. That makes things at once much harder, and much easier. Clears the table of games I don't want to play, clears out people who have priorities that are not in line with mine.

Yes, we have to eat. Eating is easy. The basics that we need money for are no longer the reason we need money. We mostly use it for rank, and it isn't worth the effort.

I agree that money is a big part of male/female relationships, and think that it usually remains so even in relationships where the women works and is not financially dependent. I think it is part of the human condition. As long as money is not #1 priority, I'm happy including it as part of the structure of a relationship. Money is important, but if it is the most important, then I can't get no satisfaction.

Edited September 9, 2006 by jamman

[Ulysses G.]

This is why I choose to remain a loser. I prefer that I often don't dress with a keen fashionable eye, and that I often only have just enough money to get by. I even prefer that I'm not handsome - most women go so far as to call me ugly.

I prefer it this way

We have a lot in common other than the prefering part!

[jamman]

There is also another point, I am personnaly middle agged (mid 40'), and I know here or in my own country I will not attract a young lady (let say 25 y old) just because I make her horny. If the lady decide to have a relatioship with me, it's because she suppose I can offer her soemthing a younf man of 25 y old can not offer her :stability

Having a fling with a younger woman while in the west is sometimes still an option for us older guys, but the chances of keeping a much younger debutante without some obvious fame or fortune is slim. Things do balance out, so if an older guy wants a hottie he usually has to pay for it with some deficits on her part - usually it will be in her social class. But being able to afford a good quality mate with littlle of the obvious attractions makes the game much more interesting, I think. To learn how to compensate for deficits. I don't agree that money is the only type of stability an older guy has to offer in conpensation for his lack of youth. Maturity can bring skills and wisdom useful for seduction, conflict resolution, and just being pleasant and fun to be around.

And although there is genuine poverty in Asia, I don't think the main reason westerners can more easily get a younger woman as a mate here is so that the woman can feed and clothe herself and take care of her family, nor is it because a large age difference is still more culturally acceptable in Asia. I think it is because there is a greater difference in class than we can find in the west. A hottie in the west will have some basic education and plenty of class mobility. An Asian hottie may 1) not be a hottie in the eyes of other Asians, for being too petite or too dark skinned, 2) not be as socially mobile. We are like movie stars here, with a different than average status, and so different rules apply to us, and so we can get younger women here.

Money or class or status are not as opposed to true love. People include that in their big picture of who they want to love. Which is why I say it makes it interesting to try to seduce without it.

Edited September 9, 2006 by jamman

[TABING]

I'm married to an Asian woman, (Chinese, but ethnically from the Zhrang minority, which originates from Thailand), I love her and she loves me.

We're very happy. She never asks for anything, is very frugal, (calls herself a stingy wife), makes all her own clothes, is a master of preparing and preserving foods, and supports(not monetarily), me in everyway. She's in her thirties and very mature.