Do you think Thais are actully capable of Love, in the Western sense?

[returnofthailand]

you just have to listen to what woman ask during first meeting to have a clue of what she is looking for.

-what job you do?

-how u make a living?

-where you live?

-how much you make?

-what car do you have?

etc...

[Cook my sock]

It sounds like you are saying that Thai women are incapable of love, at least in a way western men understand.

'Easier said than done' is a sure sign of defeatism

Make an effort

Edited May 22, 2016 by Cook my sock

[squidy]

Love is love, ain't anything else. It's will better when you can find someone love you as you are, not your money.

[Dagnabbit]

Here is my version of "Thai love". I love her smile, her positive attitude and the way she takes care of my house and my every need. She loves the way I take care of her and her family by providing a sure monthly income. It ain't roses and chocolates like in the West but that never worked for me anyway. I am lucky to have her and she is lucky to have me. As she says we both won the lottery. Live every day...

You sound like an employer.

Just hope she doesn't find a more rewarding position.

What you describe is not love, nor is it 'Thai love', which does not exist or rather is the same as love anywhere else. What you describe is a financial arrangement.

[AlexRRR]

No - for sure!!!

Even the ones that have been and still are in a long term relationship would think nothing of 'moving onto the next one' immediately if things went south, seen it happen......very strange.

It's all to do with being kept / supported / taken care of, as soon as that stops - game over, 20 year relationship forgotten about in a couple of days.

After 4 THGs what this man above said rings loud and true, they only "love" you as long as you love them and look after them, and even when there committed you run last, dead last, another thing, the truth is all glossed over, lies in this case white lies come easy, a blank stare when you find them out.

All these women went to university have good jobs etc...they had nothing to gain or loose as they could take care of them selves....what of the village girls and bar girls? if i got the above what would they dish out to me?

[AlexRRR]

No - for sure!!!

Even the ones that have been and still are in a long term relationship would think nothing of 'moving onto the next one' immediately if things went south, seen it happen......very strange.

It's all to do with being kept / supported / taken care of, as soon as that stops - game over, 20 year relationship forgotten about in a couple of days.

After 4 THGs what this man above said rings loud and true, they only "love" you as long as you love them and look after them, and even when there committed you run last, dead last, another thing, the truth is all glossed over, lies in this case white lies come easy, a blank stare when you find them out.

All these women went to university have good jobs etc...they had nothing to gain or loose as they could take care of them selves....what of the village girls and bar girls? if i got the above what would they dish out to me?

[Cook my sock]

kind of see from reading this thread where a lot of westerners are going wrong. But then it no doubt went wrong in country of origin. So they come over with a plantation owner mentality and expect Thai women to behave in a western way. No effort made to understand her, because a leopard can't change its spots.

And that attitude is compounded by marrying a lady who expects to be in a financially secure relationship, eastern style.

I married into a Thai Chinese family and made the effort.

Edited May 23, 2016 by Cook my sock

[marcofunny]

kind of see from reading this thread where a lot of westerners are going wrong. But then it no doubt went wrong in country of origin. So they come over with a plantation owner mentality and expect Thai women to behave in a western way. No effort made to understand her, because a leopard can't change its spots.

And that attitude is compounded by marrying a lady who expects to be in a financially secure relationship, eastern style.

I married into a Thai Chinese family and made the effort.

I was married to a middle class Thai woman, she had a good education, financially secure and a job wage above 80K per month, her family had dozens of businesses, yet she vanished all suddenly without trace one day after 6 yrs of being together, i found Thai women much more flaky then western ones for sure.

also I ve dated dozens of married Thai women who were cheating on their farang husbands, one young guy was working his ass in the UK to send her 1500 pounds monthly, yet she was sleeping around with different guys for no obvious reason, she wasn't asking for money, note that her husband was in his 30s n handsome.

Edited May 23, 2016 by marcofunny

[Berkshire]

kind of see from reading this thread where a lot of westerners are going wrong. But then it no doubt went wrong in country of origin. So they come over with a plantation owner mentality and expect Thai women to behave in a western way. No effort made to understand her, because a leopard can't change its spots.

And that attitude is compounded by marrying a lady who expects to be in a financially secure relationship, eastern style.

I married into a Thai Chinese family and made the effort.

I was married to a middle class Thai woman, she had a good education, financially secure and a job wage above 80K per month, her family had dozens of businesses, yet she vanished all suddenly without trace one day after 6 yrs of being together, i found Thai women much more flaky then western ones for sure.

That's pretty bizarro, Marco, what your wife (ex) did. Surely you realize that this is not normal behavior..in fact, highly unusual and not at all representative of Thai women in general. Hope you guys didn't have any kids.

[marcofunny]

kind of see from reading this thread where a lot of westerners are going wrong. But then it no doubt went wrong in country of origin. So they come over with a plantation owner mentality and expect Thai women to behave in a western way. No effort made to understand her, because a leopard can't change its spots.

And that attitude is compounded by marrying a lady who expects to be in a financially secure relationship, eastern style.

I married into a Thai Chinese family and made the effort.

I was married to a middle class Thai woman, she had a good education, financially secure and a job wage above 80K per month, her family had dozens of businesses, yet she vanished all suddenly without trace one day after 6 yrs of being together, i found Thai women much more flaky then western ones for sure.

That's pretty bizarro, Marco, what your wife (ex) did. Surely you realize that this is not normal behavior..in fact, highly unusual and not at all representative of Thai women in general. Hope you guys didn't have any kids.

we actually had a kid but she aborted the kid without my knowledge, a 1 year later I found out she is in Sweden with some guy, Thai family and friends always have negative opinions and influence, that s why i married again an orphan woman which I strongly recommends to anyone, our relationship wasn't based on financial interests like other guys, yet I had the same outcome.

Edited May 23, 2016 by marcofunny

[Cook my sock]

Jeez. Glad everything worked out for you in the end. My first Thai relationship was literally a nightmare that pushed me to the edge.. I put all that knowledge and the mistakes I had made to good use

Yes, stay clear of the Thai wife's friends. I learnt that the hard way! Make your own and keep the good ones close.

Edited May 23, 2016 by Cook my sock

[Nasrullah]

Do you think western women are actually capable of Love, in the Western sense?

Yes i do!!!

99% of farang/thai relationships are based on money........

And that is only for one reason. Because most farangs choose to be in that type of relationship. And judging from most of these posts they think that is the only type of relationship available to them and others. Hell, maybe for some it is. For me that is definitely not the case. The last time a woman was able to get money out of me without me giving it to her was never. They only have themselves to blame.

yeah okkk!!..........still doesn't contradict my relationship based on money stance

[Nasrullah]

kind of see from reading this thread where a lot of westerners are going wrong. But then it no doubt went wrong in country of origin. So they come over with a plantation owner mentality and expect Thai women to behave in a western way. No effort made to understand her, because a leopard can't change its spots.

And that attitude is compounded by marrying a lady who expects to be in a financially secure relationship, eastern style.

I married into a Thai Chinese family and made the effort.

I was married to a middle class Thai woman, she had a good education, financially secure and a job wage above 80K per month, her family had dozens of businesses, yet she vanished all suddenly without trace one day after 6 yrs of being together, i found Thai women much more flaky then western ones for sure.

also I ve dated dozens of married Thai women who were cheating on their farang husbands, one young guy was working his ass in the UK to send her 1500 pounds monthly, yet she was sleeping around with different guys for no obvious reason, she wasn't asking for money, note that her husband was in his 30s n handsome.

there's the clue^^^^^^

[Seizetheday]

The reality is that if you want a Thai woman who is attractive you have to pay, money and love Thai style go together. If your partner has no choices because she has a face like the back of a bus, then she will gladly be with a falang who gives no money, because you are marginally better than no one.

Wake up and smell the roses guys.

[Cook my sock]

Jeez. Most women want financial security. The other stuff is natural selection

[Harriett]

I don't think it works.

[Cook my sock]

If you're gonna have a negative attitude then you'll get what you deserve. That kind of man is always going to be one step behind

[marcofunny]

I found out that 98% of Thai women have genius skill and talent for hiding their hidden lovers and gigs from their husbands / bfs, go ahead and install spying apps on your gf's phone and you will get shocked, even some Thai men are not aware of it, for eg my ex's sister were dating two Thai men at the same time (old and young), one for money and the younger one for company, also had a clash once with a swiss dude who discovered that his gf was sleeping with me and with another Brazilian guy, he was very furious after he had spent almost 80% of his life savings on her and even bought a land and house for her parents in chiang mai.

Edited May 23, 2016 by marcofunny

[marcofunny]

I was married to a middle class Thai woman, she had a good education, financially secure and a job wage above 80K per month, her family had dozens of businesses, yet she vanished all suddenly without trace one day after 6 yrs of being together, i found Thai women much more flaky then western ones for sure.

also I ve dated dozens of married Thai women who were cheating on their farang husbands, one young guy was working his ass in the UK to send her 1500 pounds monthly, yet she was sleeping around with different guys for no obvious reason, she wasn't asking for money, note that her husband was in his 30s n handsome.

there's the clue^^^^^^

well that guy lived initially in Thailand and was working as a teacher and even had a kid with the woman, so he left his wife and kid living with her mum and lived between UK and Thai while his wife were sleeping around with other men.

[squidy]

The reality is that if you want a Thai woman who is attractive you have to pay, money and love Thai style go together. If your partner has no choices because she has a face like the back of a bus, then she will gladly be with a falang who gives no money, because you are marginally better than no one.

Wake up and smell the roses guys.

I am a woman who has a face like the back of a bus then.

[Lannig]

It sounds like you are saying that Thai women are incapable of love, at least in a way western men understand.

'Easier said than done' is a sure sign of defeatism

Make an effort

Speaking from experience, pal. Over more than 25 years. Again, whomever you love, I'm not limiting this to Thai women (i.e. girlfriends). I used the word love in its broader meaning.

I have made a lot of efforts, believe me. And still do. Communication isn't that much of a problem because I speak Thai reasonably. Still, there are walls I keep hitting, things I can't understand because my brains haven't been programmed in the same way as theirs.

I haven't said that it's impossible, just that it's difficult and sometimes painful, even after many years.

This does not preclude rich and lasting relationships, but they can be really bumpy sometimes due to cultural misunderstandings They are there and can't be completely erased, that's my point.

[Dagnabbit]

kind of see from reading this thread where a lot of westerners are going wrong. But then it no doubt went wrong in country of origin. So they come over with a plantation owner mentality and expect Thai women to behave in a western way. No effort made to understand her, because a leopard can't change its spots.

And that attitude is compounded by marrying a lady who expects to be in a financially secure relationship, eastern style.

I married into a Thai Chinese family and made the effort.

I was married to a middle class Thai woman, she had a good education, financially secure and a job wage above 80K per month, her family had dozens of businesses, yet she vanished all suddenly without trace one day after 6 yrs of being together, i found Thai women much more flaky then western ones for sure.

also I ve dated dozens of married Thai women who were cheating on their farang husbands, one young guy was working his ass in the UK to send her 1500 pounds monthly, yet she was sleeping around with different guys for no obvious reason, she wasn't asking for money, note that her husband was in his 30s n handsome.

So you have dated 'dozens' of married women?

All the way low class move. I hope a husband catches up with you one day.

Although most likely, you are just another one of the sexually insecure that come here and end up boasting about your 'conquests'

[Donutz]

The reality is that if you want a Thai woman who is attractive you have to pay, money and love Thai style go together. If your partner has no choices because she has a face like the back of a bus, then she will gladly be with a falang who gives no money, because you are marginally better than no one.

Wake up and smell the roses guys.

There is a "Thai style" of love? What would that be? I certainly did not notice any such thing with my dearly beloved wife. She was fine looking, I know she would occasionally be hit on by Thai men (they did not had impaired vision, she didn't look like the back of the bus any more then my handsome face 555), money wasn't any more of a an issue as with a "western" relationship, given her wage and mine she put just as much money, romance, time, love, effort, affection and what else not in our relation. She waited for two years before she immigrated to the Netherlands, some days of which were not easy, missing her full time office job and being at the bottom of the work force ladder here. She would get homesick at times, tell me about whatever struggles she would have, that in tears she'd tell me that the only thing that kept her in the Netherlands was me. Just a smart, kind, sweet, attractive young lass (slightly older then me). There was simply love, and there was nothing "thai" or "western" about it. Love is simply a human feeling, regardless of place of origin. And taking care of eachother, investing in eachother, is a whole lot more then throwing money at it. If money is dominant in the relation, RUNN!! My wife could have buggered off with a man with much deeper pockets then mine, wouldn't be too hard given that my pockets aren't deep and she wasn't bad material in either the looks or personality department.

She kept her circle of Thai friends here short, and cut them shorter. I did hear hear the tiring stories of some men who thought that their Thai darling came from an other planet, the cliche crap that you find on so many websites (she is only interest in Thai food and soaps, she doesn't care about learning the language, she only wants me to take her shopping, she only asks for more blablabla"). Good signals for her and me that though perhaps not bad people, they were operating on a whole other level. Nagging about money and gossiping is not really the thing you want among good friends... I would wonder though Did I somehow end up with a fake Thai if all you hear all these stereotypes being thrown around or did I and my wife simply got lucky, found true love and decided not to bother with all the nagging of other people".

I think we could replace "Thai lady" with "western feminazi" (or far worse words and label) and find a lot of men venting their frustration... Wonder if it's just those women, or also the men that are failing in some areas. Plenty of men and women out there that must be hell to live with under one roof, but love and happiness can be found anywhere on earther, though it ain't easy.

[chakatee]

Do you think Farangs are actully capable of Love in the Thai sense?

[marcofunny]

So you have dated 'dozens' of married women?

All the way low class move. I hope a husband catches up with you one day.

Although most likely, you are just another one of the sexually insecure that come here and end up boasting about your 'conquests'

initially I was unaware of it, they were always saying ohh you cant visit my home because my parents lives with me bla bla, actually I had a clash twice but the dude calmed down when he knew that there were another one as well, actually most of you do it, many Thai women from isaan is already married with some Thai men and they always claim that they are singles !!!

Edited May 24, 2016 by marcofunny

[Seizetheday]

Do you think Farangs are actully capable of Love in the Thai sense?

Yes, that should be another thread!!

[Seizetheday]

The reality is that if you want a Thai woman who is attractive you have to pay, money and love Thai style go together. If your partner has no choices because she has a face like the back of a bus, then she will gladly be with a falang who gives no money, because you are marginally better than no one.

Wake up and smell the roses guys.

There is a "Thai style" of love? What would that be? I certainly did not notice any such thing with my dearly beloved wife. She was fine looking, I know she would occasionally be hit on by Thai men (they did not had impaired vision, she didn't look like the back of the bus any more then my handsome face 555), money wasn't any more of a an issue as with a "western" relationship, given her wage and mine she put just as much money, romance, time, love, effort, affection and what else not in our relation. She waited for two years before she immigrated to the Netherlands, some days of which were not easy, missing her full time office job and being at the bottom of the work force ladder here. She would get homesick at times, tell me about whatever struggles she would have, that in tears she'd tell me that the only thing that kept her in the Netherlands was me. Just a smart, kind, sweet, attractive young lass (slightly older then me). There was simply love, and there was nothing "thai" or "western" about it. Love is simply a human feeling, regardless of place of origin. And taking care of eachother, investing in eachother, is a whole lot more then throwing money at it. If money is dominant in the relation, RUNN!! My wife could have buggered off with a man with much deeper pockets then mine, wouldn't be too hard given that my pockets aren't deep and she wasn't bad material in either the looks or personality department.

She kept her circle of Thai friends here short, and cut them shorter. I did hear hear the tiring stories of some men who thought that their Thai darling came from an other planet, the cliche crap that you find on so many websites (she is only interest in Thai food and soaps, she doesn't care about learning the language, she only wants me to take her shopping, she only asks for more blablabla"). Good signals for her and me that though perhaps not bad people, they were operating on a whole other level. Nagging about money and gossiping is not really the thing you want among good friends... I would wonder though Did I somehow end up with a fake Thai if all you hear all these stereotypes being thrown around or did I and my wife simply got lucky, found true love and decided not to bother with all the nagging of other people".

I think we could replace "Thai lady" with "western feminazi" (or far worse words and label) and find a lot of men venting their frustration... Wonder if it's just those women, or also the men that are failing in some areas. Plenty of men and women out there that must be hell to live with under one roof, but love and happiness can be found anywhere on earther, though it ain't easy.

Duh!!

Working in the Netherlands she would earn considerably more money than staying in Thailand. She probably earns more in three months than she would working in Thailand all year. If you don't think that was part of her decision to be with you, you must have your head .......

[Donutz]

Duh!!

Working in the Netherlands she would earn considerably more money than staying in Thailand. She probably earns more in three months than she would working in Thailand all year. If you don't think that was part of her decision to be with you, you must have your head .......

Perhaps if she would have been able to get a job at the same level as in Thailand. In TH she earned 25.000-28.000 baht per month and she was very content with her job. In the Netherlands the first few months no employer had any interest, insisting that employees must speak a reasonable level of Dutch (no taxi Dutch) , no interest in a reasonable level of English. We eventually got her a job as a cleaner, minimum wage. Obviously a lot more per hour then a Thai wage but the expenses would also be a lot higher. At the end of the month, chipping in with the costs for housing, food etc. she wasn't exactly swimming around in money. The work was okay but not exactly challenging to the brain. So she was happy but would at times miss her Thai office job. I could very well understand, I'd probably feel the same if I'd move abroad and end up cleaning schools and offices rather then a job that requires papers.

I certainly do hope it was something she factored it, it would be insane not to take the job oppertunities, salary (income) and expenses into consideration. But it certainly ranked low on the overall decision to move to the Netherlands. If it was much higher up she would have been better of finding some fool who didn't let her wait for 2 years to move to the west. Love most certainly was by far the biggest reason to migrate. Aspects of Thai society and politics also were a (small) factor. We'd talk abuot politics, society etc. and there were various things she very much disliked about her country and dind't miss for the world, and being able to help her retired mother a bit ofcourse was also a part. The monthly assistance wasn't that much more then what she sent back home while she had her job in Thailand. And sometimes she would skip it, rather paying an unexpected bill we had regardless of it was mine, hers or a shared bill.

All very natural things if you ask me. Being together being the nr 1 prioirty by far, followed by suffidient food, shelter, a normal living (taking care of eachother, both partner both contributing and consuming their fair share in the relation when it comes to choirs, expenses etc.) and so on. If you have a partner with dollar/euro signs in the eyes, or " your money is mine, my money is mine" something is wrong...

Edit: the first few months were especially fun. She'd calculate the costs for groceries, going out etc. back to Thai baht, be shocked by the price and not buy the product or service. I'd have to insist various times that if she/we needed it, to buy it. She eventually got used to the Dutch income and expenses. I'd often call her a Khi Nok Thai, she prefered to put money in her savings account.

Edited May 24, 2016 by Donutz