The Family Had A Meeting

[kurgen]

How could you even consider going with a woman who is not a virgin

She is soiled goods, you're best of out of it.

A trip to your local V.D clinic for an all over check up should be the first thing to do.

So now that you're over her, tell me, did ya bash her back doors in

[TAWP]

kurgen>> Your member-title are correct.

[the swagman]

You are being set up mate. Being sent away with a chaperon while the family decides what to do. Run boy run.

[Donz]

Bloody hel_l another one hahahaha

I cant believe this stuff. Man why do people put themselves through this sort of things?

You've met her 4 or 5 times and you want to chase her all over the country while there couldnt be a pissed off husband who would want to take you out and probaly a pissed off father who does too.

But because she has these trusting eyes you want to chase this?

Come on man whats up with that?

Surely she couldnt of been that specatular in bed that you have to go and chase her.

Go find another girl.

[ThaiPauly]

Plenty more Fish in the sea,,,why bother, you will probably find another just like her without the baggage if you care to look hard enough.

Hit the road Jack...for your own good.

Jeez you have only met her 4 or 5 times...its a joke

Seriously... do all you Farangs fall in love that easily???

Man...! No wonder you guys got into all these kind of troubles...

To quote the OP.

I met the family of a Thai girl 4 or 5 times and all seemed ok.

4 - 5 times is not enough to actually know much about the real situation and the real nature of the family!

Worse part is that she is still married. Get it? Still married! Doesn't matter if they are separated for 5 years - more or less. The fact is that they are still legally known as husband and wife.

Geez! Makes me think that farangs fall in love once they flop into bed with a woman...!

You got to tell me if that is not true because, reading from all these adventures you guys have in LOS, it just gives me that sort of impression.

I was pointing out that Thaipauly was wrong thinking that the OP met the girl only 4-5 times when the OP was actually talking about meeting the family 4-5 times. Get it?

err yes BKK, please pardon my error...although even that being the case my advice is still to get the he11 out of Dodge

[PhilHarries]

From what I gather, yes he was shagging around a lot and that is why she left him.

I did meet a lot of her friends also and many of them were glad to see her happy. One even bought me roses and told me it was because her friend was now happy.

We ate at different places and often her friends were there.

The sleeping arrangements and places were changed on a regular basis and I was not actually registered at any of the places I stayed in. No one asked to see my passport and I always got a cheap rate as I was not the one doing the booking.

OK so she never told me she was married, but then again, I never asked. How often do you ask the woman you are with if she is married?

That brings up the question that if she has been separated five years she can have an automatic divorce?

As for money..... she borrowed 2k Baht once and paid it back in full the next day. Apart from that she never asked for money as she works and has a good job. So I doubt if I was there to be milked and yes, I am aware that could have been the case. So if I was being set up for a scam it would fail anyway

Maybe she had genuinely fallen me. Maybe not. But I am old enough to know the difference between real tears and crocodile tears.

Tip off? Most likely and I believe that was the case. Maybe someone did not like the fact she had met someone after so long and was happy. I think we were followed. I met the father in law.

I also know she was literally sh*tting herself that morning she knew she had been caught.

But the question I asked originally was.... Is there any way the family would still accept me IF we did want to see each other.

A second question also.... if she does get a divorce, does that not make things easier for her and for the then ex husband'?

OK to address your questions I have to admit I never came across a case like this during my 12 yrs in LOS but I'll give my two pennorth.

As I see it there are several possibilities and the following aint guaranteed to be the only ones.

1. It's a financial scam by the family(s) of which the girl plays no part and she still wants to see you. Then they'll be in touch and the deal will be laid out and you either pay up or not as you wish. You may be able to force the issue by acting like you don't care, as soon as they think you are going cold they'll be back. This runs the risk of it actually being number 3.

2. It's a financial scam by the family(s) of which the girl is a willing partner. They'll be in touch soon enough and attempt to strike a deal. In this case you'll have a tough time recognising that this is the case as these girls are bluddy good actors. From what you say, if true, this doesn't seem to be likely but as with #1 this runs the risk of being #3.

3. There is some family/personal face issue in which case you need to watch your back and/or disappear. As you say she has a good job, or had as she's disappeared, and you were never milked for money unfortunately makes this scenario more likely.

So to answer your first question : Case #1 you cough up, you get the girl and everyone's happy. Case #2 you cough up, and it's so long sucker. Case #3 is the unknown, if you just walk away they might be satisfied but that's one huge risk especially with Thai men.

As for your second question, I don't think it matters whether she gets a divorce or not. There is a good reason why she hasn't divorced him and it's likely to be financial so we are back to square #1.

I'm not being much bluddy help am I? Truth is I haven't a clue, the more you live in Thailand the more you realise how little you know about the place and how what you do learn is only that little bit they are prepared to let you in on.

Best advice is re-read the comments above, take a straw poll and then I'm afraid it's up to you.

[qualtrough]

How do you even know if they have really been separated five years? She has already demonstrated that she is parsimonious with the truth, so the five years could be BS as well--might be five months, five weeks, five days, or a few hours for all you know.

[helicoptor]

Arrggghhh........ not another one....

That makes 4 in 2 days

Troll?

Udon , You have given me good advice on other threads and for that I thank you but you are a cynical swine as well aren't you? Is this what happens as you get older

[qualtrough]

No disrepect intended, but another soldier's take on war in general:

Dulce Et Decorum Est

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,

Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,

Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs

And towards our distant rest began to trudge.

Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots

But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;

Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots

Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.

GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling,

Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;

But someone still was yelling out and stumbling

And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--

Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light

As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,

He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace

Behind the wagon that we flung him in,

And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,

His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;

If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood

Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,

Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud

Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--

My friend, you would not tell with such high zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,

The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est

Pro patria mori.

Wilfred Owen

[Maizefarmer]

5 years seperated, shes an adult, but she can't make her own desicions in life. ........ er, something doesn;t add up.

I find it hard to beleive that she cannot find a way to get in contact with you i..e. sounds like more a case of choice than of circumstance - and if it is circumstance - what are they going to do, watch her like a hawk for the rest of her life. Me thinks not - at some point she'll egt in touch if she wishes to.

In the meantime - move on - you can't bring your whole life to a standstill over this this.

Tim

[qualtrough]

No disrepect intended, but another soldier's take on war in general:

Dulce Et Decorum Est

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,

Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,

Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs

And towards our distant rest began to trudge.

Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots

But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;

Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots

Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.

GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling,

Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;

But someone still was yelling out and stumbling

And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--

Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light

As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,

He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace

Behind the wagon that we flung him in,

And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,

His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;

If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood

Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,

Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud

Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--

My friend, you would not tell with such high zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,

The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est

Pro patria mori.

Wilfred Owen

[qualtrough]

Oops, posted something on the wrong topic, sorry!

Edited November 7, 2006 by qualtrough

[a2396]

Not a chance....sleeping together w/o a marriage licence is a NO NO for most of the thai family.

You2 might have a slim chance of being together again....only if you can show how sincere you are with this relationship and are willing to marry her NOW. Whether or not her family will let you is another problem, because the family is losing face over this incident big time!

Can you contact her through her friends to see what's going on w/ her and her family?

You mean that these sexpot Thai girls don't have sex before marriage? Give me a break. Of course, they may not flaunt it in front of family members, but I think that this is another story reserver for relationships with Farangs, ie marriage = money for family. One 20 yr old lady I knew here told me that her mother said not to have sex before marriage (with me). She admitted that she had previously had sex with her Thai boyfriend and had an on-going relationship with a "Tom Boy" lady lover, and she was no bar girl floozy.

[HenryB]

So.... I met the family of a Thai girl 4 or 5 times and all seemed ok. No real problems.

Then I discover this Thai girl is separated for at least 5 years but not yet divorced..... aha a problem - and I do understand the problem!

Then We were discovered in the same hotel room.... oops!

The lady in question was scared and was in floods of tears knowing her husbands father had discovered us.

Now.... love aside.... as I think a LOT of her.....

The family met and are not happy. Her mother is very unhappy and I understand she has been sent a long way away to avoid meeting me again.

Is there anything I can do about this? I have her mobile numbers but there is no answer and I believe she has a family member with her, maybe keeping a check on her.

Is it worth chasing her - something I want to do as I think so much of her - or have I lost this chance?

Yes, I do know how she feels about me. You can tell by contact, eyes etc. so that isn't the problem... it is the family and I need to know if I stand a chance of fighting this.

Just give the Family 1 million baht now and 50,000 a month I see no problem after that.

By the way give your wife to be a 10 million baht house and a SUV.

Glad I could help you.

[opothai]

The family met and are not happy. Her mother is very unhappy and I understand she has been sent a long way away to avoid meeting me again.

Is there anything I can do about this?

there is only one thing to do in this situation

PANIC

[Douggie Style]

How do you even know if they have really been separated five years? She has already demonstrated that she is parsimonious with the truth, so the five years could be BS as well--might be five months, five weeks, five days, or a few hours for all you know.

I suspect this is on the money, the 'divorced' not really divorced Thai wife is a recurring theme IMHO.

good luck

Edited November 7, 2006 by Douggie Style

[Noel]

Oops, posted something on the wrong topic, sorry!

Easily done!

Just a suggestion, but next time you could just delete the erroneous text, rather than draw attention to it with another post...

[qualtrough]

Oops, posted something on the wrong topic, sorry!

Easily done!

Just a suggestion, but next time you could just delete the erroneous text, rather than draw attention to it with another post...

That's what I thought I did, but I now see that I created three identical posts (in the wrong topic), and erased one with the oops comment, leaving two comments intact. Sorry everyone. And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

[roguegirl]

Bloody hel_l another one hahahaha

I cant believe this stuff. Man why do people put themselves through this sort of things?

You've met her 4 or 5 times and you want to chase her all over the country while there couldnt be a pissed off husband who would want to take you out and probaly a pissed off father who does too.

But because she has these trusting eyes you want to chase this?

Come on man whats up with that?

Surely she couldnt of been that specatular in bed that you have to go and chase her.

Go find another girl.

This guy is bloody DESPERATE. Don't think he will take your advise.

Must be his first Thai woman.

[smartecosse]

can't we get a big banner or something that says

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS

[britmaveric]

Get on with your life. She either comes back or she doesnt, not that hard!!!

[tartempion]

So.... I met the family of a Thai girl 4 or 5 times and all seemed ok. No real problems.

Then I discover this Thai girl is separated for at least 5 years but not yet divorced..... aha a problem - and I do understand the problem!

IF the tale is true ... pack, run and do not look back. Just count your blessings. If, perchance, this is all the way from Trollsville ... FO

What is all this TROLL naming on this board?

Seems some people here sniff too much kee kwai

Neither do I understand why farang males fall in love with TG's within minutes after having met.

Lack of brains maybe?

Edited November 8, 2006 by tartempion

[terradon]

Well, she has been in touch. Thanks to a Thai friend who speaks good english. Main problem seems to be is that she is monitored closely and cannot answer my calls because they would need to be in english and the family would then know.

I understand the husbands family are very unhappy and there has been a big loss of face her being seen around with a farrang.

I got to meet her at 03-00 this morning for a short time at a rendevous and no, there was no one following me, no request for money, just a lot of affection and a few tears from her.

Yes I did keep my eyes open and was concerned at the time of the meet, but seems it was the only time she could get away for an hour.

Maybe the husband / family are not happy, but seems to me she is also unhappy at not seeing me.

As for the postee thinking this is my first Thai woman ... sorry, wrong.

also is it that bad to fall in love with or have a great deal of affection for someone? Have those who feel this way become so sad? Maybe a 1 night stand in Soi cowboy / Nana Plaza is for some, but I would rather explore deeper, thanks, and get to know / try to get to know the girl better.

We will see what becomes of this in due course

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Plss off back to Trollsville.

[roguegirl]

Well, she has been in touch. Thanks to a Thai friend who speaks good english. Main problem seems to be is that she is monitored closely and cannot answer my calls because they would need to be in english and the family would then know.

I understand the husbands family are very unhappy and there has been a big loss of face her being seen around with a farrang.

I got to meet her at 03-00 this morning for a short time at a rendevous and no, there was no one following me, no request for money, just a lot of affection and a few tears from her.

Yes I did keep my eyes open and was concerned at the time of the meet, but seems it was the only time she could get away for an hour.

Maybe the husband / family are not happy, but seems to me she is also unhappy at not seeing me.

As for the postee thinking this is my first Thai woman ... sorry, wrong.

also is it that bad to fall in love with or have a great deal of affection for someone? Have those who feel this way become so sad? Maybe a 1 night stand in Soi cowboy / Nana Plaza is for some, but I would rather explore deeper, thanks, and get to know / try to get to know the girl better.

We will see what becomes of this in due course

Go ahead and get yourself into trouble.

She may not be your first Thai woman but you are still bloody desperate.

[smartecosse]

Well, she has been in touch. Thanks to a Thai friend who speaks good english. Main problem seems to be is that she is monitored closely and cannot answer my calls because they would need to be in english and the family would then know.

I understand the husbands family are very unhappy and there has been a big loss of face her being seen around with a farrang.

I got to meet her at 03-00 this morning for a short time at a rendevous and no, there was no one following me, no request for money, just a lot of affection and a few tears from her.

Yes I did keep my eyes open and was concerned at the time of the meet, but seems it was the only time she could get away for an hour.

Maybe the husband / family are not happy, but seems to me she is also unhappy at not seeing me.

As for the postee thinking this is my first Thai woman ... sorry, wrong.

also is it that bad to fall in love with or have a great deal of affection for someone? Have those who feel this way become so sad? Maybe a 1 night stand in Soi cowboy / Nana Plaza is for some, but I would rather explore deeper, thanks, and get to know / try to get to know the girl better.

We will see what becomes of this in due course

what , you mean like finding she ( if she does exist of course) has a thai husband?

whne will the 5 kids materialise ...............

[Donz]

Bloody hel_l another one hahahaha

I cant believe this stuff. Man why do people put themselves through this sort of things?

You've met her 4 or 5 times and you want to chase her all over the country while there couldnt be a pissed off husband who would want to take you out and probaly a pissed off father who does too.

But because she has these trusting eyes you want to chase this?

Come on man whats up with that?

Surely she couldnt of been that specatular in bed that you have to go and chase her.

Go find another girl.

This guy is bloody DESPERATE. Don't think he will take your advise.

Must be his first Thai woman.

Now we know why so many farangs get taken to the cleaners.

Many allow themselves too, they fall in love with in seconds and will chase then tr to impress with money while being all in love, she probaly thinks hey i wonder if he will support me and my family if i ask him. Then bleeds him clean. Many are probaly just easy targets

[Nemo.]

You've been caught sh@gging a Thai guy's wife and you are worrying about how you are going to see her again?!

I would have thought your first problem was avoiding the husband ever seeing you.

Think seriously about your own personal safety. If it were me, I'd move house and stop going to my regular haunts.

surely many BG's are married?

One story from a colleague - a farang teacher met a girl online. ends up in hotel with the 17 year old girl. parents and cops storm in! 400,000 Baht paid in compensation after a night in a jail cell...... "nice little earner" for a school gal. same same for a "outraged family/husband"

[roguegirl]

And what with the tears... It's not hard to learn to be a drama queen.

Hey...! Go ahead. They need what your wallet can hold! You are a great help to the country's economy.

Edited November 8, 2006 by roguegirl

[Donz]

I think this story isnt real.

Its just cant be can it