GracelessFawn Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 How do you know if its real love or a partnership/marriage/relationship of convenience? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 If this thread goes the way of your last one it will be shut down immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dan Sai Kid Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 How do you know if its real love or a partnership/marriage/relationship of convenience? You're the OP - why not get the ball rolling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soihok Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 (edited) Wow ,where are you from ...Rotherham? You could draw the same kind of line across the commitment of football players to their clubs. As for the love thing I think we should look towards motorbikes,as they have no voice or problem with anyone that gives them a ###### good thrashing. I say that if it goes well,and you,re happy,,,well ,,,,take it as Love. If it refuses to start in the morning or often breaks down........get another one. Theres plenty around. Edited December 16, 2006 by soihok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soihok Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 All within the best possible taste...........Matron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GracelessFawn Posted December 16, 2006 Author Share Posted December 16, 2006 How do you know if its real love or a partnership/marriage/relationship of convenience? You're the OP - why not get the ball rolling? When you respect each other, when you're good friends, commited, working together to make the relationship work, when you worry about the each other welfare/feelings, when you care about each others happiness, when you hold hands and kiss goodnight on sunny days or rainy nights, when you let each other grow. Real love doesn't forfeit one's freedom, but is very supportive and nurturing. When both people are together knowing that life without the other is too painful to even think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tropo Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 How do you know if its real love or a partnership/marriage/relationship of convenience? Here we go again. I explained that one already on your last thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soihok Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 Come on then.... Is it a dodgey old scooter that gets you to 7-11 and back and wont get stolen as its adog. Or a motogp bike that needs 100 massages aday. Whats wrong with you OP. Is it or isnt it going to work ? I would like to go for the 24 hour endurance racer, with full rebound damping. You sound like a sponser by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robski Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 (edited) Love? we did that one before, but Romance with a capital R, now thats something else. If we allow it, it is something that lets us escape from the harsh realities of a clinical, calculated, scientific world. even talking or thinking about modernity, of responsibility, partnership, the realities, the nitty gritty, it sounds so cold, so hard, bland, too real, it can wreck your head. Love is passion, but Romance is indulging in that passion, letting yourself believe a fantasy, even if it is only for a moment the world seems better for it. it softens the hard edges and blurs the distinctions, choose not to analyse, but to think and enjoy the wonders that you see and feel. GF you can spend your whole life searching for happiness, searching so hard you can destroy what you already have to find it, you can go all the way around the world, but the only place you can find happiness is inside yourself. Don't analyse it all too much looking for an answer, indulge youself and enjoy what you have. Peace. Edited December 16, 2006 by Robski Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HughHefner Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 Don't analyse it all too much looking for an answer, indulge youself and enjoy what you have. Exactly, just indulge yourself to the limit and have a good time, when you get to my age you realise that life is too short for worrying about whether it's real love or convenience. All you have to ask is 'am i enjoying myself?' If the answer is yes then it's full steam ahead. As long as they love something about me, be it my rugged good looks, my maturity and experience, or my bank balance, then it's all good and i get to have some fun. My girlfriends are all in their early to mid twenties and are smoking hot. They all know i'm a butterfly, but as long as i look after them and show them a good time it's all okay. At my stage of life i don't intend to marry again, and it's my full intention to never have another girlfriend over the age of thirty. If i'm being honest, i know that their motivations are not based on any aspirations of real love, after all i'm an old guy and young women like these won't give me the time of day in my own country, but i hope they like and respect me. At the end of the day, it's their choice if they want to be with me. I think if you know your partner and you're honest with yourself about your partners motivations, rather than believing what you want to believe, then it's usually fairly obvious what the basis of your relationship is. It's only those who are determined to cling on to a fantasy that they've constructed who struggle. A lot of that goes on in Thailand, the place is full of illusions that are very alluring. If it makes them happy, then who am i to knock it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 I see this one going nasty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 You need to find out the persons true motives. Ask them directly, and check for the honest response. It is also subtely revealed in their words and behaviour. Sometimes the motives are mixed but one is usually predominant. Motives can change over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumnien Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 How do you know if its real love or a partnership/marriage/relationship of convenience? Please take the time to describe your relationship with your partner and your concerns; we will try to help you decide. The first step is that you are honest about your anxiety over the matter. Also, real love doesn't have to be inconvenient. Just because both parties in a partnership are getting something out of it doesn't mean it is a "partnership of convenience" which sounds sort of "less than". Conversely, when one party is getting nothing out of the relationship, I wouldn't say it's "real love" or why else would they stay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulsmithson Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Twenty+ years with my beautiful Thai wife and yes Greceless Fawn you said it all. I feel so sorry for the people here who never found true love When i was broke she gave me £4500 When i was very badly injured she whiped my backside for me ( now that really is true love eh) She is my best friend and an equal and I have always treated her as such. When i have a probem I ask her advice and consider her answer.-It is usually sound but not always Despite an 18 year age difference IT WORKS for She never wanted to be in the UK I still look at other women. They are different but none can compare to her beauty simply because I love her and woud never hurt her. I would never stray because I would be too afraid to lose her I too the troube to learnto speak her language and understand and even admire her culture She took the trouble to learn my language and speaks it well WOW I am so lucky eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumnien Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 to the Fascist Moderator.......................get a life I have a life! Thank you very much! Graceless Fawn, Please describe your present relationship so that we can help you. There is no need to go thru life forever wondering. By sharing your concerns with others it will help alleviate the anxiety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonel_Mustard Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 I really don't think it matters if it is a relationship based on real love or convenience as long as both parties understand it for what it is and it provides them both with what they want and need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrFisher Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 I don’t think it’s a hard question to answer. I have had relationships in my own country in the past that just turned out to be about money. I came to Thailand to see an old friend that lives in Bangkok and I met a nice (Thai) woman who worked in his office. To make a long story short, one thing leads to another and I married this woman (I guess I should mention we are the same age). My now wife was a successful real estate lawyer in Bangkok and I was a hospital resident (granted I was a doctor but making little to no money and student loans out the back side). Needless to say my wife made quite a bit more money than I did even though she made B and I made $. She paid off my loans gave up her career and moved to the USA to become a house wife. After I started working for a good wage we managed to save enough money in a few years to move here to Thailand permanently. I was quite burned out from working in a level 1 trauma center and I had seen enough horror for one life time, if anything I always wanted to teach. So, my wife managed to get me a job in a good university here in Chiang Mai and life has been good. I have been married for 11 years and I can't ever recall either one of us ever saying an unkind or unloving word to each other. I would also like to say her family laughed at the notion of being paid to get married, they said “save your money and build a good life together”. So, does it matter if it is a relationship based on love or convenience, yes to me it does anything else would make me feel cheep and not look good for my wife either especially in Thailand where appearances mean so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Black Duck Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 My God She's at it again..GF Why dont you get a hobby??and a life while your at it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Rain Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 My God She's at it again..GF Why dont you get a hobby??and a life while your at it... My thoughts exactly. Who was it on another of these threads said it was like a "teenage girl's forum"? As for the original question - who cares? As long as both parties are happy with their life & choices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 I really don't think it matters if it is a relationship based on real love or convenience as long as both parties understand it for what it is and it provides them both with what they want and need. Hear, hear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 There is a fine line for me between love and a relationship of convenience. I knew my wife for a long time before we ever went out together. We had a lot of good conversations. At that time I was more interested in flashy bar girls and trying to have a good time. Because of my way of life and my habits, my wife wouldn't go out with me. I asked her nearly every time I saw her and she always refused. Eventually I wore her down and we started dating. That marked the end of my whore-mongering. It just felt right. We were comfortable together. There were no stars in the eyes, lust nor wild monkey sex. After living together for about a year and a half we got legally married. I have absolutely no desire to have another woman. The best explanation is that for the FIRST time in my life I am content. I still look at pretty girls and when I am with my friends even play a little grab ass but it is just having a little fun and a few laughs. I know where home is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rikpa Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 My God She's at it again..GF Why dont you get a hobby??and a life while your at it... Easy there big boy. Please be nice to GF. She is obviously a very nice and intelligent person, yet able to play you all like Paganini on his Stradivarius. Mad props to anyone like GF with the soul of a true coyote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterpan Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 I totaly agree with paulsmithson 100%, its starts with a relationship and turns in to a partnership and then marriage. My girl is best for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 You simply just know.... Graceless, you just know. It's like religion, everyone who believes has their own personal relationship with the Gods. Each one different than the next man's but equally as valid, equally as true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuian Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 ...All you have to ask is 'am i enjoying myself?' If the answer is yes then it's full steam ahead.As long as they love something about me, be it my rugged good looks, my maturity and experience, or my bank balance, then it's all good and i get to have some fun. My girlfriends are all in their early to mid twenties and are smoking hot. They all know i'm a butterfly, but as long as i look after them and show them a good time it's all okay. At my stage of life i don't intend to marry again, and it's my full intention to never have another girlfriend over the age of thirty. If i'm being honest, i know that their motivations are not based on any aspirations of real love, ........... If it makes them happy, then who am i to knock it. :D :D I sign that! What is love? I love my cat.... & Thailand...good food, good music, hot 'n nice gal's and above all MY LIFE! After all it is based on desire - how this ever can be 'honest love'...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jockstar Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Guess the OP is having issues in her/his relationship. Maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insideleft Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Love??? I spent a lot of time thinking it meant a feeling, or a thought...so, if i felt like I loved someone, or thought i did, then I believed I was loving them...unfortunately for most of my previous partners and myself...focusing on my emotions and thoughts consistantly distracted me from my actions...my actions do not automatically match my feelings or my thoughts... unless i am paying attention to what i do, my understanding of my actions can, and often is, confused by my feelings and thoughts... to love, is to do something...I see 'loving people' everywhere, but i do not see their emotions or their thougths...I see their actions...patience, compassion, humility, acceptance etc, etc... it does not matter how strong my feelings are...if i am abusing, being impatient with, calling awful names, judgeing unfairly...I am not also loving... a loving relationship can most easily be seen by those invovled and those looking on... to be loving, is to be seen to be loving... It is your actions that provide the information upon which i think i know you...to know if i am loving someone than, the most important place to look is at my actions...not my emotions or my thoughts... anyhoop... Insideleft... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasreeve17 Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 My God She's at it again..GF Why dont you get a hobby??and a life while your at it... My thoughts exactly. Who was it on another of these threads said it was like a "teenage girl's forum"? As for the original question - who cares? As long as both parties are happy with their life & choices. I have to agree with these two members. Pathetic stuff, not worthy of an answer... But my thoughts on the original question are; NO STOP. I am not a teenage girl, or somebody trying (sadly) to impress them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayo Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Maybe, instead of putting GF down, somebody could find some links to teenage girl forums for her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qualtrough Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 (edited) ...When i was very badly injured she whiped my backside for me ( now that really is true love eh)... I don't understand. What was it you did wrong? Edited December 17, 2006 by qualtrough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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