donna

arai wah?

Shave the baby's head (at a couple of months old) or it will be stubborn (explains a lot I think).

They have a 'sitting guide' with them. This is purely for legal reasons. The sitting guide doesn't have to do anything at all.

These guides often have to pay for the bus themselves (about 30,000B I think) and they make their money purely from commissions. That's why they take them to the tailors (typically 20-20%), jewellers (same) and to the big cabaret shows where they get a commission from the admission tickets.

They make huge bucks, these guys.

When they go for dinner, they get their meal free, PLUS they get 10% from the total bill handed back to them in cash.

They are legal (in a grey area), but very immoral, IMHO.

My ex told me that I had grey hairs because I ate cheese.

Pregnant Laos ladies aren't meant to eat honey or the baby will just slip out when walking along.

...and then she goes home to her boyfriend and he goes back to his wife.

Then she gets a call about HIS sick buffalo...do we know the ending already?

In order to be a Tour Guide, you must be a Thai citizen and pass a pretty comprehensive test.

I have heard that in a few years that the system is going to open up to farang, but there will be very tight restrictions to who can get the licences.

Having said that, I was a tour leader here for over 5 years and loved every minute of it. There are loopholes, but you must have a Thai registered guide with you at all times, and there is a risk of arrest and subsequent deportation if you happen to be caught 'guiding' by the Thai legal definition.

Bit harsh, Terry. Why should SHE leave? Anyway, who says she is living in Thailand? Maybe she isn't even here and it's a bloke from wherever she is living.

If he can't get the hint, then easing up on the contact is the best thing to do. Don't go out with him and his friends.

I am trying to shake a persistent ex at the moment. Phone calls in the middle of the night, gets his son on the phone to ask me "thammai khun mai rak poh?", telling me he is on the way over to my place after I told him I didn't want him to etc. It's a real battle. All I can do is avoid his calls and not answer the phone when he calls.

And if you:

called her and took her out every saturday and Sunday

Send her relatives home on Sunday or paid Taxi fare for her relatives

Called her every day

Then sucked in buddy.

I used to work as a tour leader, and when my passengers would come up to me and tell me about their lack of bowel movements, I would prescribe 2 large beer changs.

Got those blokes moving, that's for sure.

Just follow it with Kop khun ka, kon Thai suay duay! Throw it right back at them. Works both ways.

Many of my Thai girlfriends tell me that hairy legs are 'narak' and that they like them just the way they are. And these are girls that work in a beauty parlour, so they have access to hair removal treatments if they thought it necessary.

Hair removal is easy in Thailand. Waxing, although painful, can give a good result, and can be done on any part of the body. It's not uncommon to wax forearms.

How do you broach this topic? Hmm...that's a tough one. Maybe you could playfully tug her leg hairs when 'playing'? Maybe she will get the hint?

But ultimately, is it THAT important? If you are suddenly looking for faults in your girlfriend after you have snared her, is it a sign that something else is wrong with the relationship? The hairs would not have suddenly sprouted after you formed a relationship, so why the change of heart?

Maybe you have a fault (hard to believe, I know) that your girlfriend doesn't tell you about. And that's because she loves you on the inside, not the gift wrapping. She doesn't care if your back or bum is hairy, I bet.

She has superfluous hair.

You are being superficial.

I went to Villa Sunkumvit 33 yesterday and, with this post in mind, checked the dates on the packets of food I was buying.

They all appeared to only have the manufacturers date on them. I saw no evidence Villa stickers on the packs.

Maybe they are telling the truth? Maybe everyone should give them the benefit of the doubt, and give them a chance.

I went with Jacks Golf last time and they were great. I highly recommend them.

'Lynyrd Skynyrd' you swine! Didn't your parents tell you anything? My daughters are only 4 and 12 and they already understand that Jimi Hendrix is 'lor', Loso is 'mai lor' and how to spell such important band names!!!!!

Swine? You're old enough to have fathered a 12 yr old, but you still take band names so seriously as to revert to calling someone names over it?

Talk to that 12yr old so she can give you lessons on growing up.

cv

Name calling isn't very nice. Maybe they should have lernd to spell proper!

Thanks CV.

Oh. By the way. Jimi is dead so he ain't looking too good right now and Loso is much better now he has had his teeth fixed.

Som nam naa alright.

Songkran is a time where you see all sorts of really stupid things. The Thai people, generally speaking, are really respectful when it comes to putting powder on the face and when squirting water pistols.

Why do Farang go straight for the eyes? Drives me nuts. Gives me the shits. Hate it. A friend of mine copped a beauty right in the eyes today from one of those really high powered water pistols. Idiot. The chest or neck is as high as you should go in my opinion.

Anyway that's my whine about Songkran. I love it. Best festival in the world.

My guess is 584. I hope I'm not even close.

No they may not be nice, but they are revenge stories all the same!

Neeranam, I am sure that Soraida takes action on these things. She has a lot of work on her hands, but I am sure if you emailed her, that she would reply to you. I have emailed her before and she has been really prompt in replying to her.

There is a chance that she is not in the country at the moment, also. If you try her, I am sure you will hear something back from her.

They are all pretty good stories, guys. What about the superglue stories? Superglue the locks, windows etc and pour tuna oil in the bed and wait for a nice hot day to leave?

The more I talk to my friends, the more stories I hear.

I'm not ashamed of my name or this song. I just don't see the romance in a calf on a wagon bound for market.

But thanks for the info. I never knew that.

I saw a bit of this drivel last night on telly. Thai people seem simply too ###### polite. Where's the conflict? Where's the bitching and moaning that goes with 12 strangers put together in a house.

Anyway, after last nights effort of one of the girls singing crappy songs (with a lovely voice, I should add - just the songs were crap) I strongly suspect that they are all there to find their fame in other areas once the show is over.

Or, maybe Thailand Idol is coming to our shore! I know we had the Academy Fantasia (heck of a name) one, but it sure looks to me like Idol will be the second chapter.

You can report these people easily enough. Contact Soraida Solwala at the Friends of the Asian Elephant. She is an amazing woman who deals with this all the time. I don't have her number, but they have a website, and a Bangkok office.

Have to agree with Hotel California, the Scorpions, the Bee Gees, and especially that Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna song that everyone sings to me. Why do the Thai's think it's romantic? What's so romantic about a cow going to the market?

At least this isn't the same as Bali with Khe Sanh blasting out every 5 minutes.

My boyfriend has quit since Sunday April 3. Man is he grumpy! He is so moody that he won't talk. I am trying to be supportive, and would never encourage him to go back just because of his moods, but it must be very tough. I've never been a smoker but seeing him go through this makes me glad I didn't start.

Any clues to get him over this grumpiness, or should I just leave him to it? From what you guys say the worst may already be over, but he is finding it SO hard to do. I think he will do it, though.

Apparently eating Vegemite helps as it is high in Vitamin B which repels the mozzies. I don't know if that's true or not, but it sure is a good excuse for eating Veg.

A friend and I were talking today of stories of sweet revenge by scorned lovers. We've heard the ones about prawns in the curtains and sugar in the petrol tank (dos that really work anyway?) but there must be more than that.

What's the best sweet revenge story you've heard of (or did)? And did it make you feel better afterwards?