Zyxel

An eight year old girl went to the office with her Dad on a "Take your kid to work day". As they were walking around the office the young girl was getting crankier and crankier, crying and sobbing. Her father asked what was wrong with her? As the concerned office staff gathered around she sobbed loudly "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?' He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'. She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

So I woke up, and my dog was lying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty. My neighbor's kids raise blue ribbon rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. ???? I took the rabbit away from my dog, rushed inside, and washed all the dirt off it before my neighbors could come home. It was stiff, but I heard some animals play dead when afraid, but I couldn't remember which ones. I took it and placed it back in one of the cages in their backyard; then I ZOOMED back home. (Don't judge me ????) Not 30 minutes later, I heard my neighbors screaming, so I asked them what was wrong. They tell me their rabbit died three days ago, and they buried it, but now it's back in the cage. ????

Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction. "Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?" "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets."

An Alabama man went to see a psychiatrist because of his drinking problem. He sat down on the couch in his office, and the psychiatrist asked him, “So, can you tell me the reason why you're drinking so much?” The patient took a deep breath and said, “Sure, I know exactly why I'm drinking a lot, and I'll tell you right now. It all started when I got married, and I guess I should never have done it. I met and married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.” The man went on, “One day, my dad came to visit us. He promptly fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter and eventually married her so now my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, me and my wife had a son who was, of course, my dad's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my dad's wife. So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my dad, she was also my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. It gets better: I am now my wife's grandson. Since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather.” The psychiatrist looked horrified, took a deep breath and said, “Now I understand why you drink. By all means, keep drinking and give me one!”