Zyxel

Next time you're having sex with your significant other, stop right in the middle of it.When she asks what you're doing say, "Shhh...I saw this in a porno once. It's called buffering."

A Texan was flying to Boston on a business trip. He had never been to New England. Sitting next to him on the airplane was a Boston native and they engaged in conversation which led to food. The Bostonian said to him, “You should try the scrod while you are there.” “Where would I find it,” asked the Texan? “Oh, there are so many good spots in town. Just ask around when you get there.” On the way to the hotel from the airport in a taxi, the Texan leaned forward and asked the driver, “Where can I get scrod?” The driver thought a minute, then said, “You know something, Mister? I’ve been asked that question a million times, but this is the first time anybody ever put it in the pluperfect subjunctive."

Mrs. Smith was on a game show and had to answer questions about the Bible. Host, “Mrs. Smith, for $100 can you tell me who was the first man on the Earth?” Mrs. Smith smiles and said, “The answer is Adam.” Host, “Correct. Now Mrs. Smith for $250 tell me who was the first woman on the Earth?” Mrs. Smith proudly answers, “That was Eve!” Host, “Correct again. Now Mrs. Smith for the Jackpot bonus question, tell me Eve’s first words to Adam.” Mrs. Smith is thinking. She appears totally stumped. Thirty seconds goes by and finally she throws her arms in the air and says, “Gee that’s a hard one isn’t it.” The Host says, “THAT’S RIGHT! Give this lady the jackpot!”

A man went to confession at St. Patrick's church. "Father, it's been one month since my last confession. I went out and made love to Fannie Green two times last month." "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's" Soon another man comes to confess. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've been making love to Fannie Green twice a day for the last two months." This time the priest asked "who is Fannie Green?" A new woman in the neighborhood." The sinner said. "Ok" Said the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's." At mass the next morning as the priest prepared to deliver his sermon, a tall voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redhead woman entered the sanctuary. Every man in the church turned to stare at her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short. She wore matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and the alter boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs slightly apart, but just enough to see she wasn't wearing any underwear. The priest turned to the alter boy and whispered "is that Fannie Green?" The bug-eyed alter boy couldn't believe his ears, but he managed to blurt out "No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes?!?"