Zyxel

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

There once was a suicidal dolphin. He was depressed because he had no porpoise in life.

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's corridor floors, and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "Sure." The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

A ninety year old man did his regular visit to the doctor. The doctor asked if everything was fine. The old man said “Yes, never better! Six months ago I married a beautiful 23 year old girl. Now she is pregnant!” The doctor was silent for a short while, then he offered the man a story: “There was a man who had hunted for all his life. This time he was walking through the woods with just his umbrella by his side. Suddenly a bear came rushing against him. Instinctively he raised his umbrella and aimed at the bear. Bang! The bear fell dead to the ground.” The old man said “That's obvious! Someone else shot that bear.” The doctor said “Exactly!”