Zyxel

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink”. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore.The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him."Look", she said, "I went along with the bl.. job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

Next time you're having sex with your significant other, stop right in the middle of it.When she asks what you're doing say, "Shhh...I saw this in a porno once. It's called buffering."

A Texan was flying to Boston on a business trip. He had never been to New England. Sitting next to him on the airplane was a Boston native and they engaged in conversation which led to food. The Bostonian said to him, “You should try the scrod while you are there.” “Where would I find it,” asked the Texan? “Oh, there are so many good spots in town. Just ask around when you get there.” On the way to the hotel from the airport in a taxi, the Texan leaned forward and asked the driver, “Where can I get scrod?” The driver thought a minute, then said, “You know something, Mister? I’ve been asked that question a million times, but this is the first time anybody ever put it in the pluperfect subjunctive."