XXpate48USA

Hey if your partners in life, it all comes out of the same pot! Do what you feel (together) It comes from both of you no matter what purse or wallet it comes out of. Unless you've made other arrangments! Most couples or married people share everything so it really doesn't matter which account it comes out of(if it's a real relationship) Be generous and it'll come back to you one way or another.:jap:...It can't hurt to help anyone that needs help at least a little!...mai pen rai

why not put all the white noise and nonsense about culture and the thai way out of your head and deal with this question the same way you would do it at home, be it a lover or a friend who came begging?

the people here on tv have neither the information, sense nor inclination to help you.

decide for yourself, unless your goal is to see your own indecision immortalized on the internet.

Are you speaking for all of us? ...I have the inclination to try and help anyone needing a little advice IF I can help, as there are many seeking advice on this "tv". Some DO have the information depending on what it is a person is asking. This is a forum for people seeking information "mostly" and most, if not all are trying to learn something. I don't think he is worried about you immortalizing him. I think he is asking a legitimate question and not looking for quips. I don't believe that it is all nonsense about thai culture and thai way, as this forum is about just that!...

so give the guy a break! or get some real experience yourself. Everyone is not in tune with everything!. walk a mile in his shoes, then you can understand why and what he is asking. You are right about some not having the sense! To speak for others, is one example.

You can't put one country in place of another and say do exactly what you would do there although the theory would be good if it were true, and wish it was so.:jap:

I have a question as to why my estranged thai wife(I'm a US citizen) would be filing some sort of paper with the .thwww.humanrights.ago.go.th/index.php

I happen to come across this on a search(google). As far as I can tell it was with a special prosecutor at that website. I left her in Thailand and we are legally married. I just decided I had had enough of being scammed and threatened and nothing in return. Her email address was attached to this form on that website in the last 6 weeks....help?..

That website, does anyone know or have an idea of what it could be that she filled out something there and I am fairly sure it has to do with me or a visa for her which I don't want her coming to the USA, at least not until we rectify the lying.

I read at the bottom on that page it has to do with a special prosecutor from the Humanright.ago.org.th............does anyone know what this office is for or what it has to do with?

I am a little anxious as to what it was she was trying to accomplish there......I asked her and she more or less blew if off as she was looking for work etc. Nothing that made any sense. She is angry at me for not being back yet after 7 months.

I am a little worried as I am legally married and am wondering what she has in store for me. I am sure it has something to do with money in some way. ....please, if anyone has any idea of what this office does for people married to foriegnors.....i.e. helping with visa to usa for her or perhaps a made up charge of some kind in an attempt to extract some money from me....I belive she knows I am done with this relationship!! unless she does some BIG changing about lying and being truthful.

Her threats to me when she is angry are beyond the pail....axample "I die soon".....now, what kind of "good thai girl" would say something like toher husband that because I have not returned because of her dishonesty?.....I am worried that her and her brother may be trying to concoct some sort of charges on me for $....we are legally married.....please if anyone knows what this office of human rights and special prosecutor is for let me know....I do have a lifetime pension....in the USA,,,,,I am worried.....

I get bamboozled pretty routinely.

One day I might stop reacting with slack-jawed shock.

The sheer scale of some (surely story-boarded and scripted over multiple volumes) deceit efforts has floored me, on occasion. One has to admire their sheer ambition, if nothing else.

I, like the first op that said he grew up learning that lieing is wrong and that was so exact to my upbringing. But has gotten me into

many troubles. My father never tolerated lying and I also can not understand the extent of some that do and some that lie all the time and sometimes for no reason as it has just become a habit.

I moved to Thailand thinking and wanting anew life and learn about the culture and people. I married a Thai lady and soon found that I had been lied to about some serious matters etc. I was lied to about loaning money and when I would be paid back etc. I fast learned there is no such thing as a loan in Thailand. It is a gift and the lie was the means to get the "loan" This was from the brother inlaw. Never has a satang been mentioned about paying it back nor a payment arrangment. This was my first introduction to Thai culture(at least with her family) to keep things clear, I am sure there are honest Thai's somewhere. My next experience was the bribing and the lies to get the bribe and then I get the papers I need from the Immigration official no less.

My upbringing has left me with a sense of bewilderment on how a society accepts this as normal behavior. I left Thailand 7 months ago and was readying to return after my business in the US, My wife was supposedly staying at her parents home until I returned. I knew she had stayed in Bkk which to me was no problem because she has a daughter that lives there at her x's home. As I was readying to return as soon as I could(6 weeks) I kept asking her, "are you sure you are at your parents home" and the answer each time was yes of course. Now, I knew for a fact she was staying in Bkk because I checked on where the money I had sent to her was picked up...Bangkok...ok, I knew she was lying. This is my new wife of 3 months. Now, I asked her many times(at least 10) and the answer was always a lie even when I said "are you sure you wouldn't lie to me" and she said no she is in in her other town. After the 10th lie(literally) I have yet to return as I will not be with a wife that I an not trust. Her answer to me was she didn't want to upset me is the reason she lied. I told her I didn't care if she stayed in Bkk with her daughter or at her other province with her parents. The lie was more upsetting than where she was staying. Now, this gives rise to what else she is capable oflying about. I have found many since and they are just said to get ot do what it is that she wants with no guilt of lying to her husband.

I said to her, if everryone lies, how can anyone trust anyone. If I go boink the neighbor lady and come home and tell you I was at the office, is that ok?....because telling you that would not upset you. I was trying to show trust is an important part of a marriage or any relationship.....will you trust me if you catch me lying to you all the time? ...

my thoughts are that if you can't trust who and what you are with what is the relationship built on?...I know...it's money and support. But if you keep losing your support and source of living from no trust and lies, what is the point?...Personaly I have lost any trust or closeness that I had thought we had together and I have not rerturned. I have no idea what she is capable of and no idea of when or what the next lie will be. I always gave my best and was generrous as i could be and even more than I should have been. If no one apreciates an honest generous decent looking and good husband then I am outa there.,.. I just have decided it is a complete waste of time and hard earned money. If I am maried I expect a friend/love as well and someone that stands beside me and not one that stands beside my wallet and thinks of me as interchangable as easy as that.

I know now that An American woman is at least smeone that will accept you as you are and not think of you as a non entity ATM machine along with her family and always an outsider. If someone can look me in the eye as if nothing happened after completly ripping me off and everything is ok....something is wrong with that picture. What am even doing there?....what for, why?....

Well, now she can't figure out why I am not back yet and is all angry and I am hearing the sob storys of how hard it is for her where she's at with not enough money.....ohhh wellll!!......a falng is not a non person that is just there to make thier life better from all your hard earned dollars that you worked all your life to finally enjoy. ...baby, get a job.......or don't lie and keep what you have that is good!

I won't go slowly into my golden years in a society that is built on deciet and lies......where were the parents at, while these girls were growing up? who tought the values? who tought honest? who taught, charactor?......of course there are liars in all countrys but let's face the truth, Thailand is more prevalent by a high high percentage ....very highest!...It's just not for me!..

Now, I have to put this in so this doesn't sound like I am puting down a whole country. I know there are some honest people there! But I didn't find em....could be just my experience though

Don't worry, some posters use that tactic to ignore the substance of your posts and it is done rather frequently. Another trick is to accuse another member of attacks when there are actually not any.

By the way MSNBC is well known for a far-left bias.

gee, why would anyone think msnbc has a left leaning slant? Now, mr kieth Oberman is just one fair man.....yikkkkkes....

I never have seen anything so biased and so hate filled. That is no where near a news program. It is a Inteligence slamming comedy show. Anyone who can stand to listen to that "crap" is just not in tune with anything that is considered normal

How on earth can something like those two, especially Oberman consider himself balanced?...I have never seen a bigger Idiot

on television before. How do they even stay on the air? Rating's?...hmm....I think donations(soro's) maybe might keep them on the air but surely not any rating profits. Unless the usa has gone completely off the deep end....Why do so many like them hate what is right and good? ...The usa better get it's act together soon!! If this kind of thinking is taught in our schools and colleges...actually, this has what has happened over the last 25 years while parents have not been listening to what thier kids are being brainwashed with.....now, look what we have to deal with!!............it's scary for sure!

I got married twice.. and never got married again .. just live with them is the really the best way.. If you have money why throw it away on someone or something you will normally lose on? I just cannot see the logic behind any Thai/farang marriage unless it is just for business deals. 99% of all the women here will burn all westerners.. it has been proven the course of their actions for over 100 years. We all love the "fruits" of living here as do most.. but to marry and then slowly give it all away.. You guys who do this are nuts.. So many women are willing to give us what we want and what we need... why spoil it with a marriage?? I never go look for a bar girl.. just good clean women who want a falong as a boyfriend..

When they speak of marriage and kids.. then that is a different story if you are young and want that.. but older guys really only need a good housekeeper/maid to keep their homes clean for 200 to 500 a day and at occasional squeeze for the evenings." Rent a wife" for a day of two and get it out of your system.. then come and get a new puppy from me and I bet you will be much happier with the dog and he will cost far less than that wife.. Again this is only an opinion and not the way for all.. but is sure works for me..

Wow, what an inappropriate response to a real estate question..

I would like proof of your rubber stamp please! and two copys translated with an competant authority notorized in duplicate along with another competant autority to show proof of the first cometant authority...kawp khun klup :jap: and another to show authority for sarcasm plz.

Mai Pen Rai....We all do a little yacking out of order on here, it is no crime...EZ Ez,,

To the OP, changing name at your local Amphur is easy and i think she can even change "Mrs" to "Miss" if she wants (while still being married). You'd better go along with her though; if you don't they will probably say you are needed to sign papers (when you do go they will probably not require you to sign any paper as they just love to waste peoples time)

I got married twice.. and never got married again .. just live with them is the really the best way.. If you have money why throw it away on someone or something you will normally lose on? I just cannot see the logic behind any Thai/farang marriage unless it is just for business deals. 99% of all the women here will burn all westerners.. it has been proven the course of their actions for over 100 years. We all love the "fruits" of living here as do most.. but to marry and then slowly give it all away.. You guys who do this are nuts.. So many women are willing to give us what we want and what we need... why spoil it with a marriage?? I never go look for a bar girl.. just good clean women who want a falong as a boyfriend..

When they speak of marriage and kids.. then that is a different story if you are young and want that.. but older guys really only need a good housekeeper/maid to keep their homes clean for 200 to 500 a day and at occasional squeeze for the evenings." Rent a wife" for a day of two and get it out of your system.. then come and get a new puppy from me and I bet you will be much happier with the dog and he will cost far less than that wife.. Again this is only an opinion and not the way for all.. but is sure works for me..

Wow, what an inappropriate response to a real estate question..

To the OP, changing name at your local Amphur is easy and i think she can even change "Mrs" to "Miss" if she wants (while still being married). You'd better go along with her though; if you don't they will probably say you are needed to sign papers (when you do go they will probably not require you to sign any paper as they just love to waste peoples time)

Ain't it the truth about loving to waste your time. and duplicate copys of the duplicate copys that aren't even needed in the end. Then the "rubber stamps" boy they love thier stamps. I think that the Thai government would fall apart if it weren't for rubber stamps. This makes them very important if they can stamp your paper. It's amazing at the redundancy of some of the paper work called for, that isn't even used after you scrambling and working hard to get. A complete waste of efficiency and ineptness. But gotta do it because if you don't. They surely will make you turn around and go get what is not needed. Then when you bring it in they won't need it...ugh....Have patience my friends....Mai Pen Rai "Amazing Thailand" maybe this why they have that saying ...dunno.......just be cool, and do it, is my suggestion. Be prepared as we used to say in the boy scouts.....be vewy vewy prepawed!

What hotel can you recommend in Vietienne that has a in room Wifi connection

anything under 1000B will do

in such cases, I usually ask an old buddy. his name is Mister GOOGLE, and its usually straight-forward to deal with him.

just bark "WIFI - GUESTHOUSE - VIENTIANE " and he will spit out all he knows immidiately.

I just did exactly that and found out that there is a lot of interesting information provided by good old buddy Mister GOOGLE.

information that could be useful for you too

I wish I could remember the name of the one we stayed at in vientiene but what we did was at the river border crossing where you get your laos visa, there will be alot of taxi's and tuk tuks waiting. Take the taxi as it is about a 20 minute ride across the mekong and into Vientiene. The taxi guy should be able to tell you which ones have wifi etc. We stayed at one that is right in town and is an older building and was ok and has coffee and food down stairs. Can get western food there also(close) haha..But is only about 15 minutes to the thai embassy if you are going for the visa. The hotel is about 4 storys high and the rooms are fairly decent andhas internet down stairs in the small restaurant. I think most of the taxi's in knong kai (thai side) know which hotels you would want. Pay no more than 400baht for the ride. They will try and get as much as they can...Many to choose from so you will find one with a better price. Make sure and take some US dollars if possible. The trouble I had was trying to convert to kip.

I drew out I think 10,000kip from the atm and that turned out to be about 3us dollars..haha....so that was an expensive atm fee for 3 bucks....Things are cheap there so it is easy to find food. Just tell the taxi driver you want a hotel close to "victory monument" and that is walking distance 5-10 minutes from the hotel. Then in the moring there will be a tuk tuk out fron to give you a ride to get in queque. It will be about a 4 hour ordeal. I would recommend filling out the visa form and glue the two passport size pics onto that and hand it over when your number is called. Then at one oclock the next day you get in line and wait about 2 hrs untill you get inside to recieve your pp. I wasn't too worried about wifi as long as I had access to the internet since it is only a 2 day stay...but I'm not sure what your plans of staying are soooo...mine was just for the visa ..I imagine that is what you are looking to do too....easy but long queque.

while you are there waiting you can go visit this building that was built with US supplys after we pulled out of Vietnam. The concrete was mean't for an airstrip but was just left and the lao governement built this. The hotel is just about 4 blocks down the street from that building. ...But you can't miss it...It's called . The hotel I believe was about 10US bucks.

"Victory monument" go see it while you wait to pick up your passport the next day. There are sidewalk restaurants all over so no problem with food. Go back to the bus station and get your ticket...go back....walaaaaaa....good for 90 days...

If you get yourself a Thai wife there is a good chance that those funds will depreciate quicker than u think

If you get the right Thai wife,she will understand that this is all you've got,and make sure that money dosen't get spent erratically,she may also offer to go to work to help.

PST.

This advice of NEVER letting them know your true worth. This will cause you problems for sure. I made the mistake of doing just that and has been used agains't me and been called stinky haha...because they just won't understand why you won't spend it all. Just do as the last OP said and cut in half and then half again depending on what your real worth is and even half again if it will let you live confortable!!.......always keep whatever you will need for YOUR future to make sure you are "ok" if something happens to not work out. This is the best advice to any falang marrying into a thai family. A little secret is worth your security later....good luck!!

whoa, that is a big call

Personally, i would be happy to pay a bit for someone like you describe, but as the others have already mentioned this is as rare as.....(insert choice of words)

Anyway, ive never met such a person and dont think i ever will, however one thing i will say is NEVER tell a thai girl how much you are really worth.

take the real figure, halve it and then divide whats left by four..and then halve that again,

you can tell them you have to live on this capital and have a small monthly income stream that gets sent to you periodically, if they stick around then ok

I 'was' happily married for 11 years, but then again, I wish you all the best of luck in your relationship.

But my only advice would be that you dont hang in there a minute longer than necessary. Once the arrow head starts pointing south, deploy the life rafts.

You are absolutly correct!!..My mother always told me I am too generous for my own good! Now, that can be taken for stupidity or just a good heart. I like think good heart but now I am wondering.........A generous man is a fool in Thailand!!...I am seen as a stupid falang, I am afraid!.....(there)........the life raft was inflated after the 10th consecutive lie......splash!!!

abandon boat!!!!!!!!.........I will lose everything if the raft does not float and it was sinking fast. But I am home safe in my own home watching my large screen tv in a reclinder yet!!....wow, a recliner lazy boy......lotsa dem in Thailand huh.....yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa right!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh The only lazy boy there was the wifes brother asking for loans all the time!!

I am Thai-Chinese, my husband is American. My family never accepted him. Not because of some misbehaviour but because his income is less than a million Dollars a year.

I can feel with you.

Some men are really poor.....

I feel for me too, thanks

I make the same amount as the prime minister of Thailand and still am being swallowed up....howzat?...

Is it a full moon yet ? So many grumpy old men on this one. I think Loz has got to the core. It really is decision time.

FROM HER SIDE:

She needs security = money = farlang = providing for parents = saving face from the cultural perception that as she has already been married and FAILED, especially as she is a teacher.

And what of love oh grasshopper?! Well he's an ok guy,and I like him, and he can be manipulated with sweet talk = love thai style.

FROM YOUR SIDE:

I think she loves me, and we get on well, and its not a lot of money, and its the custom. OK then.

But jing jing! Love, and sex are tradeable assets in Thailand.

There is no such thing as 'for richer or poorer, and for better or worse' Its a western concept !!!

So the real question is - Is there enough in this relationship for me -right now? -knowing its not about love, or my body. But it is about the size of my... wait for it.... bank balance and my ability to support a growing number of people for a long time!

( Well yes I'm a bit grumpy today - have just started a diet.)

I have told my wife... that many people don't spell well, and its actually "Four Richer, Four Poorer, Four Better and Four Worse.... So be good or she'll end up as one of 16 !"

I'm betting it's #1 and #3 for her and #2 and #4 for him...:jap:

I wouldnt pay a bean as it's a Thai and not farang tradition.

Asking Sin Sod from farangs has to be a piss take.

Quote: If your Thai woman is reasonable and understanding (which is usually never) she will neither expect nor will demand sin sod-- and neither will her parents. But unfortunately, there are some Thai women, mostly whores and gold diggers, who will take advantage of a farang's ignorance in order to con them out of some money.

A fool and his money are soon parted in Thailand.

AMEN!!!!!

Before we start beating each other up here, there is no one set "Thai" way of dealing with this issue. It varies by village, region, family, generation, and social class, among many other variables. No single explanation covers it.Two people may have vastly different experiences and both be giving an accurate description of their experiences.

Agreed...

The ones who paid sin-sod and get the money returned are liked and respected by their In Laws

The ones who paid sin-sod and didn't get the money returned are likely not to be respected by their In Laws.

The ones who refused to pay sin-sod are likely not to be respected by their In Laws, but maybe tolerated.

Different experiences, all with highly probable results.

Yes, but should you really care whether respect for you comes by how much money you give to a (already been married before) woman? Personally If someone can't respect you for just being a good guy and taking good care of your wife and she is happy, then why care what they think?.....do you respect that sense of respect?....keep the wife and keep the money for you and her together, take a trip and only visit the parents. and Don't and I repeat don't live with the parents!!...you will regret it as you are last in line in that home , even with your wife!!....

You are one lucky guy to have a woman that is smart enough to realize it is not the right thing to do (anymore) her parents already got one sin sof the first time around(as it sounds she was married before). What is wrong with just being happy and don't worry about MONEY.Thsi has gotten to be a quite abused thing when it comers to the new FALANG , whi it a milllionaire and they want some.

That's it. Use your head and let her say no. Let her parents do what they have been doing but maybe help out with a couple or 5 k per month IF and only if you can afford it.

My wife lied to me and tried to use "never married" and "no children to try and get as much from me as possible. If you have a wife that is Thai and she is not being greedy about this , then count your blessing, my friend!....That money normal Used to be held for the wife if things did not work out. It is not payment for fattening the cow up for sale and now is time to sell it because it was raised proper. Do not let the parents blind side you with that culture thing. It about the money!!!!!...not anything more. It's time they didn't have the need to strut and say see look what we have like a 6 year old....keep the wife and keep your money to help your new life together , then when you are all done with what you need and have extra, then maybe you can help out a little from time to time. You are not into paying her parents for lifetime....It'sstupid and your wife knows it!!!.......sounds like you are one of the lucky guys and now you are the one trying to pay to please her parents?...let them have you, isn't that enough that your wife is happy?

None. You were right the first time. It sounds exactly like she is selling herself.

What are you on about? Sin Sot is supposed to be returned to the bride and groom. If you are giving your wife's family sin sot that they keep you are not following Thai culture. You are following Thai-Farang Kwai culture. I make many jokes on Thai Visa because I can't believe how many farangs cut their own balls off and hand it to their wife's family on a silver platter. Let's stop deluding ourselves here.

absolutely! Just checked and I got back safe, but still had to check and make sure I didn't lose one!....sure felt like I did though....ughh...My philosophy is, don't give anything there that you wouldn't in your own country. You sure won't gain and respect for smarts if you do, on top of that, it will be expected again....untill YOU say nooooo.....Even if you get to keep your balls it will feel like you lost em.....

Ah well... Why didn't you say so... I agree with you totally then - Apologies for not quite catching the satire in your comments.....

Just for clarification, you're not talking about all Thais. You're talking specifically about your wife's family, or your wife's sister. It would make more sense if you were to suggest that your wife's sister is greedy and stupid and foolish, and maybe that your wife's entire family is like this, including her, and maybe you were stupid to marry her....which would make more sense than asking "how can (all) Thais be so stupid to ruin things for themselves...." when this really has nothing to do with the average Thai-at-large.

Dissagree entirely---this IS majority of Thais, I have been here 31 years, this is widespread, this is the norm, If you ==as you said, you think these stealers are a minority---get around more--rural--mix with rural people,, but city people can be the same. Have you blinkers on--or in denial. The only thing I aggree with you on is NOT ALL THAIS..there are some fantastic people out there---but be on your guard.

Right on the nail head!!! it's everywhere! always be on your toes......now, to figure out how to relax and do that at the same time is another story I can not seem to figure out!

most heart warming thread. its better than 'a christmas carol' and maybe will save some victims next year. bravo!

Yes, Loz, heartwarming for sure! maybe more like enlightening!! but if this little story helps another FOB naive falang then I suppose it is good. This little lesson all together, I would say cost me close to 800,000baht not to mention the loss of dignity and self image letting this all happen..

I wish most of the storys were on a high note from us falang. It does seem that this is a relatively regular type story of a falangs experience in LOS. I just wish generosity and jai dee were seen for just what it is, and not as stupidity. But on the other hand, it is their learned culture whether it is good or bad is not for me to decide. All I know is my little part and a few from some others. I do realize that many falang/thai marriages are or become happy after settling in for awhile and both try to understand each other and it takes hard work from BOTH.

It's time for me to move along and just try and forget and also rebuild what self respect I lost along this little journey. I don't hold any grudges and understand that is just how it is in the land of Los.

I will point out one thing I am sure about. Thailand as far as living and marrying into a thai/falang marriage and assimilating and have it all work is for only a select few type of people. For the rest of us, a visit or tour would be the best bet as there is quite a difference touring and living in Los.......Merry xmas and thanks for your input, loz.......

There are plenty of good stories, but it doesn't seem to make good forum reading unless there is an issue...

My wife and I are at the airport lounge after being dropped off by my wifes parents along with a bag full of Christmas presents (from my inlaws) for my nephews.

It was wai's hugs and kisses all round and a feeling that we'll be missed for these few weeks, that feeling is mutual. Very normal really, not really great forum reading but life for many of us foreigners in Thailand is just that, normal, and as we would expect life in general in our home countries.

Richard,

Well, congratulations of making a good thing! I'm jealous,...

Thanks for your input also, and have a Merry Christmas and another good year!

You're right, we have to have a little bit of something to make good reading...

take care! and stay happy!

If you don't divorce her, you continue to build up assets that have to be split with her, including any debts she or you might make. That might not be the wisest thing to do!

Also as you pointed out she would continue to be a heir to your estate.

She could, after 1 believe 3 years, divorce you based on abandonment.

Yes, this was one of my concerns too. Anything I purchase or bills I or she runs up I believe will be both of ours. I guess I will have to try and make some kind of agreement with her and try to maybe if we both agree peacfuly maybe there is a way she can just come in to sign at my atorneys office

in Thailand and sign and I give power of attorney for him or I sign with Notary in the usa and maybe there is a way....I would think she would rather have the extra attorney fee's and just sign rather than dragging it out in a thai court system....thanks!!

What was I thinking when I did that?:blink:

If you don't divorce her, you continue to build up assets that have to be split with her, including any debts she or you might make. That might not be the wisest thing to do!

Also as you pointed out she would continue to be a heir to your estate.

She could, after 1 believe 3 years, divorce you based on abandonment.

Yes, this was one of my concerns too. Anything I purchase or bills I or she runs up I believe will be both of ours. I guess I will have to try and make some kind of agreement with her and try to maybe if we both agree peacfuly maybe there is a way she can just come in to sign at my atorneys office

in Thailand and sign and I give power of attorney for him or I sign with Notary in the usa and maybe there is a way....I would think she would rather have the extra attorney fee's and just sign rather than dragging it out in a thai court system....thanks!!

Firstly regarding protecting your assets in the USA, read the first line of Marios post, although it might be different if she makes it to the USA.

Secondly, I would treat Drums post with a little .................

Thanks, yes I was wondering if she could come to the usa to try and get a divorce. Can she come without an affidavit from me??....I was under the impression that she would need my affidavit of inheritance and suport in order for her to get the visa....hmmmm

Hello marioo

you seem to be informed as to a thai divorce. I am trying to figure out what my rights are etc. I was married at a local amphur and is "legal" for sure. Now, my question is............any input will be apreciated....thanks...

Since you said "any input".......

If you want to have the reassurance of complying with any potential legal requirement, I have to ask if you have checked with a U.S. attorney to see how you might annul the marriage for, say abandonment (refusing to return and live with you in the US) or divorce for a similar reason. You might need a lawyer with some experience with US/Thai legal "relations".

And while I have never been through a divorce, I seem to remember hearing there is a way of legally stating a "separation" has taken place and, even though not yet divorced, you are no longer responsible for any debts incurred, etc., etc. I am sure you will have no problem protecting your pensions and properties.

You might google all that first. There is probably a wealth of info out there that would prepare you to spend minimum time in a lawyer's office at whatever his hourly rate is.

Thanks you, noise

Yes, I have called and checked and searched many and most of the US lawyers have said the best thing to do wouild be to get a Thailand lawyer, as one in the US would just mostly be a :go between" I contacted siamlegal and they quoted me 30,000 and they can do the preliminarys etc. but I would have to be back in Thailand for the final resolutution court hearing.

I am trying to figure a way of just not returning since I just don't feel safe requarding her and some of the "threats" made out of anger or real I am not sure and don't want to take the chance of trying to meet back up with her and her family etc. I am sure though, that I can get a Us attorney to do it but as I said it would cost on the order of 3x and I still have to return.

My grounds are sound for an anulment since "bad behavior" or close to that, is one reason plus the fact she had a 16 year old child that I was never told about that lives with the father or grandmother. I also have the history of a chat program we used to use where she stated "I die soon" and her use of some pretty vulgar language when she is angry. She is a very spoiled lady and I just am not sure of taking the chance to go with her amicably and just sign and be done with it......anyway, I don't plan on marrying again since I am in my late 50's and have pretty much decided there is no reason for a paper anymore. I just want this to be behind me and forgotten. I could just stay in the USA I think without worrys of her trying to garnish part of my pension etc. I don't think a thai court would have the ability to do anything (Ihope) but yes, I do worry about her running up some bills etc but she is not working nor has the credit to run much up. ....anyway, I will figure out something .....thanks for the input, Noise.....have a Merry Christmas!!!!........

I might also ad, that yes, I know in the US a person can run an ad in the local newspaper stating " I will not be responsible for bills other than my own" when seperated. Now, if this is a valid thing in Thailand then I will find out, so thanks for jogging my memory....I will check it out....

cheers!!

Hello marioo

you seem to be informed as to a thai divorce. I am trying to figure out what my rights are etc. I was married at a local amphur and is "legal" for sure. Now, my question is............any input will be apreciated....thanks...

Since you said "any input".......

If you want to have the reassurance of complying with any potential legal requirement, I have to ask if you have checked with a U.S. attorney to see how you might annul the marriage for, say abandonment (refusing to return and live with you in the US) or divorce for a similar reason. You might need a lawyer with some experience with US/Thai legal "relations".

And while I have never been through a divorce, I seem to remember hearing there is a way of legally stating a "separation" has taken place and, even though not yet divorced, you are no longer responsible for any debts incurred, etc., etc. I am sure you will have no problem protecting your pensions and properties.

You might google all that first. There is probably a wealth of info out there that would prepare you to spend minimum time in a lawyer's office at whatever his hourly rate is.

Thanks you, noise

Yes, I have called and checked and searched many and most of the US lawyers have said the best thing to do wouild be to get a Thailand lawyer, as one in the US would just mostly be a :go between" I contacted siamlegal and they quoted me 30,000 and they can do the preliminarys etc. but I would have to be back in Thailand for the final resolutution court hearing.

I am trying to figure a way of just not returning since I just don't feel safe requarding her and some of the "threats" made out of anger or real I am not sure and don't want to take the chance of trying to meet back up with her and her family etc. I am sure though, that I can get a Us attorney to do it but as I said it would cost on the order of 3x and I still have to return.

My grounds are sound for an anulment since "bad behavior" or close to that, is one reason plus the fact she had a 16 year old child that I was never told about that lives with the father or grandmother. I also have the history of a chat program we used to use where she stated "I die soon" and her use of some pretty vulgar language when she is angry. She is a very spoiled lady and I just am not sure of taking the chance to go with her amicably and just sign and be done with it......anyway, I don't plan on marrying again since I am in my late 50's and have pretty much decided there is no reason for a paper anymore. I just want this to be behind me and forgotten. I could just stay in the USA I think without worrys of her trying to garnish part of my pension etc. I don't think a thai court would have the ability to do anything (Ihope) but yes, I do worry about her running up some bills etc but she is not working nor has the credit to run much up. ....anyway, I will figure out something .....thanks for the input, Noise.....have a Merry Christmas!!!!........

my gut says have a PI check that she wasn't already married when you got hitched and isn't shacked up with a "brother" while you are away.

This is the case in the majority of Thai women's lives. Ever heard of the words "Geek", "Shoe", or "Pua Noi".

If she has any number of these or Tilacks, the family will never lose face and tell you.

They will always stand behind the Thai side of things and the Farang will be the one on the outs.

Even taking care of family etc will not protect you.

Learn this lesson well my friends.

Better to rent than to buy here in Thailand.

Thanks, Tacoboy!

I thought about doing that PI thing awhile back but I have pretty much heard enough "storys"

that I am more than convinced that there is a lot more going on than I am included in knowing.

Why pay for something I already know! If she won't live just 4 hour drive away from the large family in Chiang mai, with her husband she suposedly loves then it's either pressure from the MIL and FIL to keep me at hand to pay for the bills. I had no problem sending 5 or even 10k per month to help the family out. Her reasoning is she says...is that she doen't like CM and she doesn't know anybody there.....I am thinking....hmmm I am with her and I sure as heck don't know anyone there either but at least we would have a decent comfortable home and CM is big enough and has everything that is needed not to mention is cheaper than BKK. I have driven all over CM when we stay/lived there and I can find my way around just fine. The thing is, the rest of her clan is not close at hand and I figured that is the best way. If I am not enough company for her while we meet other people/friends in CM then what and who am I to her?....I am perfectly happy to move half way around the world but she can't move 4 hr drive from her family to make a life with me while I learn to speak thai better etc. Not to mention there are more english speaking people living in CM than where her town is and I told her after I learn to speak thai fluently then I am more apt to live closer to her family....maybe 3 hrs..haha....anyway, it seems to me a bust either way at this point....too much water under the bridge. This wife of mine is one stubborn little lady with a temper to match. I learned I would never win an argument EVER and learned just to let her get it off her chest and then she is better., In other words I just clam up and let her talk....Never, and I mean never try and argue with a thai wife.....it is futile.....even if you are right!!.....take it and let it go..........cheers, bro..:jap:

I am Thai-Chinese, my husband is American. My family never accepted him. Not because of some misbehaviour but because his income is less than a million Dollars a year. Thats why we sold our home in BKK and moved to Singapore. We (both) visit my family often on weekends and everybody seems to be happy.

Annyling,

you did the smart thing and am happy your story turns out good!

for some reason the family will destroy an otherwise happy marrriage. Sad but all too often!

Money should not be the "first factor" in any marriage or a way of judging people. People should be judged on who and how they are to others . All people have different incomes and that's just the way it is. It says nothing about who that person is or how good they are. Only you know that!!....stay happy!!

merry Christmas and happy New year!:jap: