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Stan42

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    Random Jokes

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said:"Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

    The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger,

    "What would you want to talk about?"

    "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?", as he smiled smugly.

    "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer drops little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

    The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says,"Hmmm, I have no idea."

    To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death.....when you don't know sh*t?"

    And then she went back to reading her book.

    What did the Atheist say when he was burning in hell?

    "I still can't believe I'm here."

    We are All Equal In The Eyes Of The Law?

    in General Topics

    Posted

    I swear this is a true story.

    Today I was walking down suk went I dumped my cigarette into the gutter (which I always do because it kind of makes sense, you're not creating a fire hazard by throwing a lit cigarette in a bin, and I'm not cluttering the sidewalk, it goes directly into the sewers) a few seconds later I was stopped by two cops on a bike. I was actually glad, because I finally got to test out my theory.

    Cop 1

    I put on a grumpy face, pretend I'm farang who "no speak good English". I immediately understood that he wanted 3'000thb. In broken English I told him I didn't understand what he was saying and gestured to talk to his buddy.

    They switch places

    Cop 2:

    I put on an innocent, retarded face. Spoke to him in 100% clear Thai. He was surprised and asked me some questions and I answered them. Yes I'm Thai, yes I was born here, yes I grew up here (which was a lie but who cares), then I pretended to nervously fiddled around my wallet making sure that he saw that I actually had two 1'000thb bank notes on me, then got out and showed him my Thai ID card.

    He apologized for the inconvenience and let me off with a warning.

    Here's the proof:

    I pretended to walk away really slowly as I eavesdropped on them. Cop 2 said to cop 1, and I quote:

    "Nong khao penn khon Thai"

    The Death Of Chang Beer.

    in ASEAN NOW Community Pub

    Posted

    Cheers Xtra is good stuff and cheap. Alcoholics love it.

    Red Horse is really nasty but it's great if you're on a budget. I have drank it and could barely finish a single bottle.bah.gif

    I love Cheers red. It's cheap and get's me drunk. I love it. I must be an alcoholic I guess...

    Has anyone any experience of this old type of patio umbrella?

    in General Topics

    Posted

    I had one of these in the garden of my old apartment. I bought it in Chiang Mai. I found it pretty impractical to open and close, and the bamboo deteriorated quickly, especially after it became infested with some sort of fungi. Never had a problem with the canvas, but I'd personally recommend buying a new one made from modern materials. Plenty of of outlets sell such umbrellas, like HomePro or Ikea. If you really want another identical one, they can be found at the Chatuchak weekend market.

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