lostinisaan

22 hours ago, sanemax said:

And you may wonder what a dozen pretty girls are all doing hanging around a bar . They are all cashiers  , all twelve of them work as cashiers and they only started working there two days ago

 

 And they all drink unspiked lady drinks with orange juice in it. But not the real one. My friend was lucky that he found one who just arrived in Pattaya from Bangkok's Nana district. 

   He wanted to marry her after only one week. She's so shy that she always switches the light off before they go to bed. 

   Now they must have done something wrong and tell him that he can't marry a man?

What the heck's wrong here? Noinaha is such a pretty girl but the bureaucrats have messed all up with her birth certificate. 

16 hours ago, roo860 said:

 

 

Only 7 posts before we get the classic question!!!!


Sent from my SM-G920F using Thaivisa Connect mobile app
 

 

 

 

 

 Yep, I was just thinking, well, a great happy end. I've just received the three months occurrences of an institution that helps a certain nationality in emergency situations where I'm volunteering when something comes up in my area.

  Really bad news from a guy who came to LOS to commit suicide but survived and finally landed in a psychiatric hospital to an HIV positive guy who also wanted to die here and stopped taking his Antiviral medication.

  It must be nice to jerk on the keyboard when reading such a story of a homeless guy who finally made it. Those guys who ask such questions wouldn't have a problem to inform the authorities and that's very sad.

  I have to say it again that foreigners in Thailand seem to be the biggest enemies of foreigners.

   Merry Christmas to all the snitches on this so festive forum. 

On 12/23/2016 at 7:59 PM, transam said:

1. Mrs.Trans

2. Mrs.Trans just out the shower

3. Mrs.Trans when she doesn't ask for cash

 

 

 4. Mrs.Trans doesn't increase my water bill.  

On 12/23/2016 at 5:26 PM, transam said:

We get 10 dots in the colour of our choice.....

 

 

 

 And some special smileys that make you look 65 years younger, perhaps?

I'll have a word with the Mods, dear sir. That's what friends are for, right? 

  As the thread's getting a little bit dry some music for the little kids. They love such songs a lot. Mother.........................................

2 hours ago, montemonte said:

I not looking to get married or to have sex. Is there anyplace to go just to talk to the locals?


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

 

     Is that a rhetorical question? 

Hermann, the German was already 40 yrs. old and couldn’t find the woman of his life. So, he flew to Thailand and almost every girl he met told him how handsome he’d be and he finally met Noi at a café.

Noi had to buy a notebook to keep all her paying partners alive. When Roy from the States wanted to see her, but she’d already made an agreement to stay with Herbal Ed from the UK, she told him that her mom was so sick that she couldn’t see him and Ed postponed his holiday to see his big love Noi.

Noi knew that Hermann was constantly looking at her, her skirt wasn’t too short to make her look slutty, but it showed her well-formed legs to ignite a man’s imagination. But she gave him the smile that Hermann needed to have the balls to go to her table to invite her for a drink.

They spent all day and also the night together, but Hermann couldn’t score and Noi gave him a free Thai culture course that “good Thai women” don’t have sex on their first “date.”

It took Hermann three days until she gave him what he was looking for. He phoned his mom back in Germany to let her know that he finally found the right woman to marry.

Noi was never asking for any money, always paid her own food and drinks and when she came to Don Muang airport with Hermann to say goodbye she didn’t take the 20 K Hermann wanted to give her for the nice week he’d spent with her.

Hermann, back in Germany showed Noi’s photos to his colleagues, his mom was also very happy that her son actually found somebody. Hermann called Noi every day to a certain time Noi had given him.

All was planned to get married in Thailand, mom was excited to fly to Thailand to meet her new daughter in law. One day, in the middle of the night a phone call from Noi that scared the <deleted> out of Hermann. And finally also out of his mom. 

Noi told him that she’d be in police custody because a little girl ran into her car and got killed when she drove along the road at the beach in Phuket when she wanted to buy a phone card to call her future husband.

Noi then told him that she’d rather kill herself rather than staying in a Thai prison for 20 years without the chance to stay with Hermann, her beloved man, and soon husband.

Hermann was the one who raised the question if something like that couldn’t be solved with money. Noi, clever as she was started crying even louder than before and told him that she wouldn’t want him to pay so much money for her. “They want 6 million baht to release me” was her short answer.

Now Hermann was the one in tears, he woke his mom and told her about Noi’s misfortune. The next day they sold the house they had from aunt Lucy and both took a credit to get the needed money.

The 6 million baht were on Noi’s bank account that of course wasn’t under her real name.  “Men are really stupid when it comes to girls she said to herself when she sat outside at the café place when James the American from Chicago started to watch her.

Hermann never heard from Noi again and James went through a similar nightmare about 2 weeks after his first meeting with Noi. Noi had six paying customers who sent her between 17 and 30 K per month.

OP, I hope you get my point. You don’t find love when you’re looking for it. If I were you, I’d try a few dating websites and once you’ve got the e-mail address of her and you at least know each other, I’d give it a try.

Don’t be a Hermann now and please believe me that teaching without a degree here wouldn’t make you happy at all.  

You wrote that you don’t have good luck with women in your country? Thai women are pretty similar, even when they look so different. Best of luck and Merry Christmas. 

8 minutes ago, transam said:

Just dealt with a bloke near me that I have helped out a lot.......For sure a narcissistic bloke...Easy solution but he chose his crazy thought......His wife has to deal with it daily..

 

 Did you bury him near the lake? 

On 12/22/2016 at 8:08 AM, Naam said:

 

for more than a decade i received extremely valuable advice by reading and of course by asking questions. assisting in technical, financial or any other matters to the best of my knowledge is my thanks for this advice.

 

reading rubbish between hard working hours (no work permit!) is my substitute for reading cartoons and quite often a temporary cure of my extremely low blood pressure. some of the forum topics i discuss with my dogs during leisure times who are very much interested and attentive because the discussions are accompanied by treats such as a variety of smoked sausages from continental Europe, wild boar ham and cheese.

 

  Could you give me some advice, please? I'm on a 17-year overstay, my turtle is sick and my mom in law needs a new lover, aeeh liver. Please page me...

 It might be too late to try to continue. You better go for a holiday. 

51 minutes ago, simon43 said:

Offer an immediate 20% discount for all kids of immigration officers who sign up for your classes 

 

 Don't be so cheap, mate.  25 % for all cops.....

2 hours ago, Ulysses G. said:

 

Me too. I have always liked his posts.

 

 + 1  

.Pattaya immigration won't give me another extension, but that might simply be the wrong guy in the office, can I go over his head and email immigration head office Thailand and ask them?

         I'm sorry, but that sounds pathetic. A doctor's note would have helped you, but now you're getting deeper and deeper inside something where no e-mail to anybody will help you out.

          Choose a specialist and let them get in touch with Immigration, would be my advice. 

50 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

Make POTY great again!

 

MAPOGRAG!

 

transam getting the Jingthing BUMP!

 

 

 

 

 

 Will you pump him up?    Please don't be too hard ON him. He's not the youngest anymore. 

30 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

 

Rather appropriate at this time of year.

 

Guesthouse - The innkeeper

NongKhaiKid - The infant

Naam - One of the 3 wise men

Village Farang - A shepherd

Transam - A choir of angels

 

No virgin this year.

 

 

    No vinegar in his ear? Mods, where did my username go to?

Congrats Trans. Aeeh President Trump. What will thew winner receive?

 Those who vote for me will have a free Transam,  Somtham for a whole month,   the female crew of a Morlam band for a whole night      and rice from Yinghluck lifelong for free. But you must get rid off the mice in the rice. 

    P.S. Santa will visit you as well. 

5 hours ago, geronimo said:

I can count to 6, cos that's the number of dots I got!

 Stop with that nasty Saeng Som stuff....

6 minutes ago, geronimo said:

She's a bit young for my wife!

 I doubt it.

On 12/17/2016 at 6:00 PM, transam said:

That's me in the chair....

The topic's gettin' a little bit dry......Christmas is knocking on our doors....

       Please send me a private message, you can book her for your Christmas party and your wife might be happy as well. Maybe both.

      What would Christmas be without Santa Clausine? 

Just now, transam said:

Set the venue.....

 I went to a temple before I visited you and your machine. That's why it works. 

       The bill was 12,456 baht, excluding the expenses for my thorough massage...

Just now, transam said:

Mate.....You and me ROCK.............

 Yep, let's Rock n' Roll....

On 12/17/2016 at 6:00 PM, transam said:

That's me in the chair....

 Mate, nobody yet knows that None of These is my second username. I'm really sorry...

2 minutes ago, geronimo said:

I've noticed something strange, the more black balls you have, the smaller they become, Odd!

 I've reported your racist post to Obama.

1 minute ago, transam said:

I sing American music......

Remember?