silver sea

... and i certainly am not a coot, whatever that may be.

Click HERE for coot.

OK, here's another link to the same video. Try THIS.

If that doesn't work click HERE for another try.

This story has been doing the rounds in the UK. It was picked up by the Daily Mail. As you know, access to the online DM has been blocked in Thailand, because it was disrespectful to the Royal Family. When I complained to one of my mates, who only reads the Guardian, he was most unsympathetic: "The military government is doing some good there then!"

Anyway, I have found another link. I guess it gives an insight to the Polish sense of humour. Click HERE to view the video. (It might take a few moments to load).

Crazy paving - is it all it's cracked up to be?

"Always leave them wanting more." That's what my uncle used to say to me ... which is why he lost his job in disaster relief.

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it's in the bathroom?

A: Because the 'p' is silent.

Who's "P" is silent?

It's a DOUBLE ENTENDRE and so has a double meaning. 'Up to you', which one you take. You can even take both at once if you want; we are quite broad minded on this thread.

I know it was. That is why I was actually taking the "P" !

And there was me thinking you were the dour Scot, who had misplaced his funny bone, when in fact you're quite the jaunty Jock! ?

My doctor told me I was paranoid ... Well, he didn't actually say that, but I know he was thinking it.

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it's in the bathroom?

A: Because the 'p' is silent.

Who's "P" is silent?

It's a DOUBLE ENTENDRE and so has a double meaning. 'Up to you', which one you take. You can even take both at once if you want; we are quite broad minded on this thread.

Man loses his dog. Puts an ad in the paper: "Here Boy".

This bloke said to me, "I'm going to attack you with the neck of a guitar", so I said, "Is that a fret?"

I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s.

Knock, knock.

Whos there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in its hot out here.

Knock, knock.

Whos there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce?

Yes, lettuce us alone, we are newly weds!

Knock, knock.

Whos there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce?

Yes, lettuce us pray. (I´m a priest!)

Q: What do you call the study of jokes about lettuce?

A: Dunno, but it's not rocket science.

i have just got my dyson hoover from out of the attic and sold it on E bay well it was only collecting dust

Being pedantic on purpose, dyson and hoover are both trade names for manufacturers of vacuum cleaners.

It's like saying that you drive a Toyota Ford.

Anyway, in the USA an opinion poll, the overwhelming opinion was that hoover vacuum cleaners suck.

In the month following the results of the poll, sales of hoover vacuum cleaners increased by 2 million.

Coincidentally A&E were also overwhelmed by 2 million lonely men seeking treatment.

Perhaps they should have tried the Dyson Ball Cleaner.

I hired a new cleaner last week. Unfortunately, it takes her all day to hoover the house ... maybe it's because she's a Slovak.

Sex in multi storey car parks is wrong on so many levels

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it's in the bathroom?

A: Because the 'p' is silent.

Just received the following email from one of my mates:

Subject: In Hospital:

Hey silver sea,

Could you hold my emails until further notice, because I'm in hospital. I was badly attacked by a woman in the lift.

I was in the lift when she got in. I was casually staring at her boobs when she said, "Could you press 1 please."

So I did ... but I don't remember much afterwards.

I may be out of the hospital in a few days.

Fortunately, a witness got her photo:

paz, who is a regular contributor on this Forum, and who is very knowledgeable on visa issues posted a message on a thread that I had started about options for Retirement / Long Stay in Thailand.

I had said that the web page for Cardiff RTC is misleading. It implies that those who are over 50 are not eligible for single entry Category 'O's; they are only eligible for multi entry 'O's. Cardiff has confirmed that in fact those over 50 are eligible for both single entry and multi entry 'O's if, of course, they meet the financial criteria. paz suggested that I should post a message on this thread, as it may be of interest.

The thread can be read, if you are interested, if you click HERE and go to post # 13.

I hope that you find it of help.

There is one further matter that I should have added to my post above ( #11).

It is that the website for the Royal Thai Consulate at Cardiff is misleading. For their we page click HERE

It implies that those over 50 years of age are not eligible for single entry Category 'O's. Those listed as eligible are restricted to: "A voluntary Job, accompanying a spouse or parent who is working in Thailand."

Those over 50 are eligible for multi entry Category 'O's if they meet the financial criteria that I quoted in my earlier post.

When I queried with Cardiff as to why those over 50 are eligible for one but not the other, their representative kindly replied:

"Single or Multi O visas are applicable and available to over 50's provided they meet the financial criteria, provide recent Crb, Doctors letter etc etc. So plse disregard the website and note content of email below which we cnfm is correct."

The rest of their email that they refer to has already been quoted in my earlier post.

I hope that this is of interest.

Hello Joe

First, thank you, and of course to George and to the other mods as well, for all your good work in relation to liaising with Immigration. Much appreciated by us all.

I have been reading TheScarf's thread "Thai Immigration issues new police order 327/2557 effective August 29 2014. Click HERE,

In particular, I was looking at the second document, Immigration Bureau Order 138/2557, click http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?app=core&module=attach§ion=attach&attach_id=278456

I am posting my comments on this thread, partly because what I have to say is not entirely "on topic" with TheScarf's thread, above, and partly, because I am trying to keep any information relating to my intended visa application on one thread, which I can then refer back to, if necessary, at a later stage. I hope that that is ok.

Anyway, Order 138/2557 lists the documents that are required to be submitted with the extension of stay under each category.

Category 2.22, on page 15 of the Order, relates to retirement. It lists the documents required in support:

1. Application form;
2. Copy of applicant's passport;
3. Evidence of income such as retirement pension, interest or dividends; and/or
4. Funds deposit certificate issued by a bank in Thailand, and a copy of a bankbook
5. Only in the Case of Criterion (6), the applicant must submit documents equivalent to Clauses 1-4 stated above.

There is no mention of medical or criminal reports. My local Immigration Office is Koh Samui. You may recall a recent thread, click HERE.

If you look at post 19, it would seem that Samui is one of those offices that does require a medical certificate.

My question is does this latest order supersede Samui's list of requirements or can they still ask for extra things?

The report may 'only' be 250 THB, but it seems an unnecessary waste of money, and of the hospital's time, if it is no longer required.

I am currently back in the UK, so I cannot check with Samui myself.

I have also been in correspondence with the Thai Consulate at Cardiff, which of course comes under the Thai Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MFA), and not the Immigration Bureau.

They were very surprised when I told them that, generally speaking, Immigration Offices in Thailand do not require sight of medical and criminal reports when converting a tourist visa into a Non Immigrant 'O' , and then subsequently, granting an extension of stay based on retirement,

If applying for a Non Immigrant from Cardiff, they say that you are legible:


"1) if you are over 65 years of age you must be claiming a STATE PENSION in order to qualify.

'2) If you are aged between 50-64 years of age pension does not come in to it, you must meet the following...
have a regular income of £1400.00 a month or a lump sum of £20,000.00 in a current account, not a saving account
a medical certificate confirming you have no infectious diseases (this can be no longer than 3 months old)
a police clearance with no past or present cautions or convictions (this can be no longer than 6 months old)

'You can apply for the non-immigrant 'O' visa here if you meet the above but you would then transfer it over to a non-immigrant 'OA' (Not an 'O' visa again) visa in Thailand if you are looking at the long stay visa. Category 'O' visa's can not be extended, they can only be converted. However if you are going to be applying with the RTE they can issue the Non-Immigrant 'OA' visa straight off, consulates are not able to issue that visa.

'You would also even if applying for the Non-Immigrant visa in Thailand still have to provide a medical certificate and police clearance, i am not sure who has advised that you would not, basically telling someone that you are healthy and have never been in trouble with the police would not be sufficient evidence."

Their advice seems to be very different from the advice given here on ThaiVisa!

They also confirmed that the RTE in London does not use the same financial criteria as the Immigration Bureau in Thailand [65,000 THB pm or 800,000 in the bank or combination thereof], and so the income and savings figures quoted above [ £1400 = 75,550 THB; £20,000 = 1,079,875 THB] are correct.

The very helpful person at Cardiff also confirmed that "... you cannot use a combination of money and income to total £20,000.00, it must be a lump sum of £20,000.00 that you have available ... [but] We would accept money from both UK bank and Thai bank account as long as both accounts added together exceeded the £20,000.00 required. "


In view of the stricter rules in the UK, it is my intention to buy a single entry visa from the Thai Embassy in London, and, notwithstanding, Cardiff's advice, once I'm in Thailand converting to a Non Immigrant 'O' and then seeking an extension of stay based on retirement.